S2E15: Mike Bates - Pain, Performance and Letting Go
Update: 2025-07-29
Description
Mike Bates grew up in chaos - violence, instability and the deep belief that he wasn’t enough. That belief followed him through the military, into high-stakes leadership, and even across a solo Atlantic row.
In this episode, Mike shares how childhood trauma shaped his mindset, relationships and sense of identity, and what it took to finally let go of performance and prove nothing to no one.
We talk about the rope climb that changed his life, the cost of people-pleasing, and how Brazilian jiu-jitsu helped him discover real emotional strength.
You’ll hear about:
- Growing up without his dad and how that created a fear of abandonment
- Using performance as a way to earn love and worth
- His transformation from elite leadership to emotional depth
- Why leadership without inner work eventually breaks down
- How jiu-jitsu reveals who you really are when everything else is stripped away
This is a story about limits, letting go, and learning to lead yourself first.
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