Secret #66: Holding the Heavy Stuff with Ben Sedley
Update: 2025-11-06
Description
Recommended episodes:
- Secret #20: There is No Normal with Dr. Steven C. Hayes
- Secret #47: Living a Meaningful Life with Jenna LeJeune
- Secret #30: Wise Effort with Dr. Diana Hill
When life feels too heavy, should we fight our thoughts or learn to carry them? In this grounded, compassionate conversation, clinical psychologist and author Ben Sedley joins Emma Waddington and Chris McCurry to explore how to hold painful thoughts and emotions without being crushed by them. Ben shares practical Acceptance and Commitment Therapy insights, why self-criticism often masquerades as our “biggest fan,” how presence works as a first step, and why compassion sometimes looks fierce with clear boundaries. Expect simple, usable tools for noticing, naming, and carrying the “heavy stuff” while still moving toward what matters.
Topics Discussed:
- How to carry painful emotions instead of trying to erase them
- Why the inner critic often acts like a misguided “biggest fan”
- The first tool: presence and one-breath noticing before action
- Compassion with boundaries: fierce, clear, and change-oriented
- Function over content: measure thoughts by what they do, not what they say
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