Teens: Why the Wrath of Attitude and the Lack of Gratitude

Jeffrey Froh, a professor from Hofstra University, ran a study on how to increase gratitude and unselfish behavior.

They listed the items and events that they appreciated in their lives–many things that, prior to beginning this journal, they might not have realized.

Most students reported an increase in happiness and overall gratefulness. When Froh repeated the study with teenagers, he found that the results were less than satisfactory. Teens did not seem to appreciate what they had, and their happiness did not necessarily increase.

Attitude:

A manner of thinking, feeling, or behaving that reflects a state of mind or disposition.

Teens and their attitude:

classic eye-rolls, the angry outburst, the sarcastic responses, the very loud and long sigh, the cold shoulder, and the hot temper

Some of the reasons for this type of behavior is that they are still developing their identity and displaying their independence. But there must be boundaries as you give them their space.

Just as toddlers “test the waters” with boundaries, so will preteens and teens.

I’ve witnessed kids displaying these actions with their parents. The troubling part is that the parents allow it to continue, which only enables the behavior

When I have experienced them in interactions with me, I use them as teaching points.

1- They know I do not tolerate that kind of behavior, at least not in my presence.

2- I tell kids what they NEED to hear, not what they want to hear

3- If they will not do it in my presence because I don’t allow it, why do they do it at home?

a. Answer: it’s tolerated

4- Yes, there are reasons for these attitudes, but unless you ask questions, show empathy and make the concerted effort to connect, it will continue and possibly get worse

Gratitude:

The state or quality of being grateful or thankful; a warm and friendly feeling in response to a favor or favors received; thankfulness.

Teens and Gratitude

Lack of gratitude in teens stems also from their need to be individuals

Questions

Are you displaying the right attitude for your kids’ to learn?

Are you showing the gratitude that you want them to learn.

We all get caught up in our lives and forget the most basic human needs…kindness, love, appreciation, empathy

Just a reminder, remember how it feels be appreciated, loved cared about.

As they saying goes, kindness is contagious

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