Episode 337 – The rate of gray divorce—defined as divorce after the age of 50 following a long-term marriage—has increased in recent years. The financial impact can be especially difficult for women.

Transcript of Podcast Episode 337

Hello this is Bill Rainaldi, with another edition of Security Mutual’s SML Planning Minute. In today’s episode, a detailed look at the epidemic of gray divorce.

Gray divorce is defined as occurring after the age of 50, following a long-term marriage.[1] There have been some high-profile cases in recent years, such as Bill and Melinda French Gates and Jeff Bezos and MacKenzie Scott.

While the overall divorce rate has fallen in recent years, the rate of gray divorce has increased dramatically.[2] The number of divorces for older couples began rising, gradually at first, in the early 70s. By 1990, 8.7 percent of marriages of people over 50 had ended in divorce. In 2019, that number had grown all the way up to 36 percent.[3] Note that the overall average divorce rate is 41 percent for first marriages, 60 percent for second marriages and 73 percent for third marriages.[4] So, the number of gray divorces is still lower than the overall average, but much higher than it once was.

What are some of the financial considerations for someone fifty-plus who may be getting divorced? There are several common issues that come up, among them:

• Staying in the family home. This ends up being tougher than most people realize. You may have built up a lot of equity in your house, but understand that the cost of living is higher when that second person isn’t there to share expenses. Maintenance, mortgage, taxes and emergency repairs add up.


• Failing to get a complete inventory of assets. In most cases, one of the divorcing partners has a better understanding of the couple’s finances than the other.[5] Both spouses need to be aware of their investment assets and how they’re titled, including retirement accounts and life insurance policies.


• Not knowing your liabilities. If there is a divorce, you may be liable for any joint credit cards or loans. It may be a good idea to get a credit report on both parties. Also, if you live in one of the nine community property states, you may be responsible for half of what your spouse owes even if the debt is in their name alone.


• Failing to understand how Social Security works in a divorce situation. This can be a more serious issue in a gray divorce simply because the parties tend to be much closer to Social Security age. As long as you have been married for at least 10 years, a divorced spouse is entitled to the same spousal and survivor benefits as a married spouse. If you’re not quite there yet (say you’ve been married for nine years plus), it may pay to wait. After all, it could bring in some extra income post-divorce, and it won’t have any impact on the other spouse’s benefits either way.

There are other considerations as well, such as replacement of income sources, life and health insurance, income taxes, potential inheritance and managing living expenses. Other considerations include financial impact on children, retirement planning and estate planning. Keep in mind that these are some generic suggestions. If you’re in this situation, you may want to seek legal advice. The counsel of a good financial services professional should also be sought.

The rise of gray divorce has had a disproportionate impact on women.[6] One of the reasons is that after a divorce, household income tends to go down significantly, especially for women.[7]

Another reason is that after a divorce, many women are now in charge of their finances for the first time, and they need assistance.[8] According to a recent article in Financial Advisor magazine, some women are also anxious and embarrassed to admit that they don’t know as much about their finances as they should.[9]

Approximately half of all divorces are done using the “do-it-yourself” method.[10] This tends to work to the disadvantage of the partner who is less financially sophisticated. Experts have recommended that for this and other reasons, women often need professional support when going through a potential divorce.

Getting divorced is unsettling for just about anyone. But it can be even worse for someone who lacks experience with financial issues, a position many women find themselves in. Complex finances, laws and relationships all tend to make matters worse. The best thing you can do is to seek help from legal and tax advisors and financial services professionals.

[1] Cherry, Kendra. “Why So Many Older Couples Are Falling Victim to the Gray Divorce Phenomenon.”  Verywellmind.com. https://www.verywellmind.com/gray-divorce-8646068 (accessed May 15, 2025).

[2] Sergeant, Jacqueline. “Gray Divorce Surge Leaves Women In Need Of Advisors, Experts Say.” Financial Advisor. https://www.fa-mag.com/news/women-want-financial-education-as-they-end-marriage-82256.html?section=43&utm_source=FA+Magazine&utm_campaign=FAN_FA+News_042525&utm_medium=email (accessed May 15, 2025).

[3] Cherry, Kendra. “Why So Many Older Couples Are Falling Victim to the Gray Divorce Phenomenon.”  Verywellmind.com. https://www.verywellmind.com/gray-divorce-8646068 (accessed May 15, 2025).

[4] Austin, Daryl. “Divorce rates are trickier to pin down than you may think. Here’s why.” USA Today. https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2024/09/05/marriage-divorce-rate/74899214007/  (accessed May 16, 2025).

[5] Fredman, Catherine. “12 Money Mistakes to Avoid When Divorcing Over 50.” Investopedia.com. https://www.investopedia.com/personal-finance/mistakes-avoid-when-divorcing-over-50/ (accessed May 16, 2025).

[6] Sergeant, Jacqueline. “Gray Divorce Surge Leaves Women In Need Of Advisors, Experts Say.” Financial Advisor. <a href="https://www.fa-mag.com/news/women-want-financial-education-as-they-end-marriage-82256.html?section=43&utm_source=FA+Magazine&utm_campaign=FAN_FA+News_042525&utm_medium=email" target="_blank"