The Essential Obligation: Forgiving Others on Yom Kippur This is a beautifully insightful text about the spiritual preparation for Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement), focusing on the less emphasized but crucial aspect of forgiving others . Here is the edited and cleaned-up version, maintaining the original's tone and rich sourcing: Welcome to a special edition of our Bitachon (Trust in God) class, as it relates to forgiving people on Yom Kippur . We place a major emphasis on asking others for Mechilah (forgiveness). It is critically important to seek forgiveness from anyone you may have wronged before Yom Kippur. However, we often place less stress on the equally vital obligation: that we must remove from our hearts any ill feelings, or what is known as K'peidot—being upset, holding a grudge, or exacting in judgment toward others. Rav Chaim Palaggi , in his work Moed L'kol Chai (Chapter 19), quotes the Zohar which states that if a person does not remove upsetness from their heart, their Tefillos (prayers) are interfered with. He cites his teacher, Rav Eliyahu Cohen of Izmir , who explains that throughout the year the angel will bring up prayers, on Yom Kippur specifically, one must remove these negative feelings. Rav Palaggi reiterates this in Chapter 16, stating: "One who does not remove hatred from his heart on Yom Kippur—his prayer is neither heard nor accepted." Therefore, he concludes, one should be ma'avir al midosav, meaning they should be completely easygoing and overlook the faults of others. This is the intention behind the passage many recite nightly before Kri'at Shema al HaMittah: "Harenini mochel v'sole'ach..." : I hereby forgive and pardon anyone who angered or provoked me—whether it affected my body, my money, or whatever the matter may be, I forgive them. We must ask ourselves: when we say that, do we truly mean it? Chacham Ben Zion Abba Shaul , in Or L'Tzion, actually states: if you don't mean it, you shouldn't say it. But, as Rav Chaim Palaggi emphasizes, during these days we must work on genuinely meaning it. We have to overcome our true upsets and genuinely forgive those who wronged us. Why Forgiveness is Our Shield Why is this internal forgiveness so important? The Sefer Cheshek Shlomo from Rav Shlomo Sirok (brought in a collection of ancient manuscripts by Rav Yaakov Hillel) explains the profound reason: On Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur , when we ask God to forgive us, the Satan (accuser) stands up and says: "Hold on! Treat them the way they treat others. If they don't want to forgive others, You shouldn't forgive them either!" This causes a person's sins to be remembered and held against them. Therefore, one should be meticulous in forgiving and being easygoing so that God will treat them the way they treat others. Just as we want God to forgive us, we must forgive others. The Power of Bitachon (Trust in God) The question, however, remains: How? How can one truly forgive when a person has deeply wronged or upset them? This brings us back to the Torah's command not to bear a grudge. It's an enormous ask: "Let bygones be bygones and forget what the person did to you." The Sefer HaChinuch provides the only path to achieve this: having Bitachon (trust in God) and believing that no human being could do anything to you—no human being can impact you in any way—unless God specifically decreed it. The person who wronged you will be punished by God, but that is not your concern. That is between them and God. As for you, if it was going to happen to you, it would have happened regardless of who performed the action. The Sefer HaChinuch brings the famous story of Shimei ben Gera , who cursed King David when David was fleeing from Absalom. David's response was profound: "Hashem said to him, 'Curse!'" David understood that God put the cursing into Shimei's mind. It had nothing to do with Shimei's personal spite; it was part of God's decree. Because of this profound control and understanding, David was elevated to become the fourth "leg" of God's throne (alongside Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob). His self-mastery, rooted in the understanding that God ultimately orchestrates everything, earned him this immense spiritual status. The Saving Power of Forgiveness This is not an easy job; it takes hard work. But this is our assignment on Yom Kippur: to arouse that deep-seated Bitachon . We are all familiar with the story involving Rav Chaim Shmulevitz . The Mir Yeshiva was in a bomb shelter during a war, and as people prayed, a bomb struck the shelter. The building shook, but the bomb turned out to be a dud. Rav Shmulevitz later said that people assumed it was the fervent prayers of the young men that protected the Yeshiva. He then related that he was not far from a woman who had been grievously wronged by her husband many years earlier—he had abandoned her, leaving her an agunah (a woman whose husband's whereabouts are unknown). At that precise moment, she simply looked up and said: "Hashem, I forgive him. Please forgive us." Rav Shmulevitz stated he believed those were the words that made the impact and saved the Yeshiva. It is a powerful, saving strength. We must delve deep into the recesses of our soul to find the strength to forgive someone who wronged us and believe that ultimately, they were not the ones who truly made it happen. When we are able to forgive others, God is able to forgive us, and our prayers are heard. May we all merit to engage in this deep spiritual work.