Today, the League’s resident court jesters welcome the Commissioner himself — the founder, architect, and self-proclaimed moral compass of our fantasy football league. As the General Manager of the Golden Stallions, he arrives not on a white horse, but under a cloud of suspicion, accused of orchestrating a web of collusion so intricate it makes Watergate look like a clerical error. He joins the show to clear his name, defend the monarchy, and maybe—just maybe—tighten his own grasp on power.

Together, we sift through the fallout of Week 5: shocking trades, bitter defeats, and absolutely no reason to panic. Even with one co-host battling a five-day hangover, we somehow manage to project Week 6 outcomes using the same cutting-edge method as always — gut instinct.