Being a present and intentional dad to a daughter is no easy feat. On a recent episode of the "Dad and Daughter Connection" podcast, Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with Melissa Davidson, certified professional coach and founder of Perceptive Parents, to talk about what it really takes to foster a deep, lasting connection with your daughter. Melissa brings not only her professional expertise, but her very personal story as a mother—one filled with powerful moments, everyday challenges, and honest reflection.

Why Values Matter

One of the core messages from Melissa's conversation is that the foundation of a strong bond starts with understanding and clarifying your own values. Parents—especially dads—often operate on inherited or subconscious beliefs, but Melissa encourages you to pause and ask: "What truly matters to me, and how do I want to show up for my child?" By getting clear on your values, you create a guiding compass that leads to authentic interactions and intentional parenting. Melissa even offers a practical values-based reflection exercise (available on her website), perfect for parents wanting to dig deeper.

Connection Over Perfection

Melissa reminds us that connection is not about being flawless; it's about being present. She openly shares her own parenting missteps, like grappling with her daughter's strong will or misreading her emotional needs—especially when hunger is at play! Her takeaway? Kids do well when they can, and sometimes our job is simply to offer support rather than demand perfection, from them or ourselves.

The Power of Emotional Attunement

Throughout the episode, Melissa stresses the importance of meeting your daughter where she is emotionally. Whether it's putting down your phone to truly listen, holding space for big feelings, or modeling empathy, these moments build trust and teach your daughter that she is valued and heard. Dads, Melissa says, have a unique opportunity to model a new kind of masculinity—one grounded in vulnerability, presence, and authentic connection.

A Legacy of Presence

If you're looking for practical, heartfelt guidance on being a more engaged and "askable" parent—one your daughter can truly open up to—this episode is a must-listen. Tune in for relatable stories, actionable insights, and inspiration to help you become the dad your daughter needs.

Ready to build a stronger bond? Catch the full conversation at Dad and Daughter Connection!

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02 ]:
Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12 ]:
If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started, because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection. I'm so glad that you're back again this week.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:57 ]:
Every week, we have an opportunity to be able to build those strong relationships that we want to have with our daughters one day at a time. And that's why every week I come back. And I know that that's why you come back, to be able to learn more, to be able to dig a little bit deeper and to be able to explore things that you can do, to be able to build those strong relationships. Every week, I love being able to bring you different people with different experiences that can give you some tools for your toolbox that will allow you to.

Melissa Davidson [00:01:31 ]:
Think about things maybe a little bit.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:32 ]:
Differently, but also be able to consider.

Melissa Davidson [00:01:36 ]:
Things, things that you might never have.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:38 ]:
Thought of, things that you might have tried, but maybe they didn't work the.

Melissa Davidson [00:01:41 ]:
First time, or maybe things that you're already doing and that's okay as well. But this week, we got another great guest.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:46 ]:
Today's guest is Melissa Davidson, who is.

Melissa Davidson [00:01:49 ]:
A licensed professional counselor, educator, and founder of Perceptive Parents. Melissa has over 25 years of experience supporting families, and she helps parents deepen connection with their children by getting clear on their values, improving emotional attunement, and parenting with purpose, not just reaction. Her work blends neuroscience, psychology, and compassion to empower moms and dads alike to raise confident, emotionally secure kids. And today, we're going to be delving a little bit deeper into her own experience at being a mother to a daughter. But also we're going to be exploring how you can strengthen the connection that you have with your daughters through the values that you have as well. I'm really excited to have her here today. Melissa, thanks so much for being here.

Melissa Davidson [00:02:41 ]:
Thank you so much. That might be the most generous introduction I have ever had. I am very flattered. I do need to Give you one correction, which is I'm actually not a licensed clinical counselor. I am a certified professional coach. So you gave me a step up qualification that I wish I had, but I'm not there. But thank you so much for that wonderful introduction.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:03 ]:
I appreciate it. And hey, you know what? Always aim higher so that we.

Melissa Davidson [00:03:08 ]:
It's out there.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:09 ]:
We gave you a bump today.

Melissa Davidson [00:03:11 ]:
Thank you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:12 ]:
So I always start with some questions about you as a parent and I know that you have a seven year old daughter and I'd love to get to know your relationship with her a little bit more. What is one of the most meaningful moments that you've shared with your daughter and what made it so special?

Melissa Davidson [00:03:28 ]:
Okay, this is super personal, but our daughter was carried by a surrogate for a long, long story that we don't have time to go into today. Our daughter was carried by a surrogate and so I actually got to deliver her and I love telling her the story of that moment when she went from being cared for by this surrogate and grown for the 10 months and then being the first person to actually put hands on her, I literally caught her, which is so amazing. And I feel like I always hesitate to say out loud to my son and to my husband, this was the single most thrilling moment of my life. I don't know that it was the most joyful, but it was the most thrilling moment of my life. And to be able to tell that story to my daughter is just. It's very powerful. My kids joke with me because of how often I tear up and I always tell them, well, I have so much love in my heart. I've got so much joy in my heart right now.

Melissa Davidson [00:04:24 ]:
It's coming out my eyes. So. So my daughter knows that that story really gets me choked up, but I just think it's not an experience that every parent gets to have. It is certainly experience that many parents get to have. It's not one that I expected to have and it is incredibly, incredibly powerful to me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:42 ]:
Now, I know your daughter's still young, but it's not always roses when it comes to raising kids. There's always going to be ups and downs and challenges along the way. What are some intentional ways that you've worked to strengthen your bond with your daughter even when it might be challeng again?

Melissa Davidson [00:04:58 ]:
You're so generous to share that sometimes it's challenging. My daughter is extremely strong willed and as I've coached parents, you know, for years, for so many years, we've talked about how we want to raise daughters who are strong, who are resilient, who won't be rolled over by somebody else. So I try to remind myself that that strong will is an excellent characteristic and one that if I can manage through it in childhood, I really do want to foster. We lock horns quite a and I do need to remind myself that this is an important quality that she is developing. And so I try to lean into those big feelings and remind myself that she's seven and she's being a seven year old and that's okay. And she doesn't have some inner dialogue going on that says I'm going to give my mom such a hard time right now. I'm going to see how hard I can push her. She's being her and we can talk a little bit more as we get into our conversation about expectations that we have of our children.

Melissa Davidson [00:06:00 ]:
I find it it very funny that I coach people in this area and I think the things I focus on in coaching other people are the struggles that I have in real life. So I've got lots of stories about my strong willed daughter and I just have such great admiration for her and for who she's blossoming into now.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:19 ]:
None of us are flawless. We all make mistakes along the way. What's one mistake that you've made with your daughter and what did you learn from it about fostering a positive connection with her?

Melissa Davidson [00:06:32 ]:
So one mistake that I make on a regular basis is underestima