Episode 22: The Sneaky Ways We Self Sabotage

Ambivalence might seem harmless, but it’s that sneaky little voice that keeps you stuck, second-guessing, and ultimately self-sabotaging your goals. In this episode, Hilary pulls no punches, diving into how those “meh” feelings are secretly holding you back from what you really want. She shares personal stories, client confessions, and straight-up truths about why we keep driving with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake.

Episode Highlights:

• Ever feel like you want something, but not quite enough to actually go after it? Hilary breaks down the sneaky ways this inner conflict pops up—from dragging your feet on that dream job to half-heartedly pursuing a relationship—and how it leads to low-key self-sabotage.


• Hilary keeps it real with a story from her high school days. She auditioned for the dance team, knowing deep down she didn’t actually care about making it. Sound familiar? This story drives home how we sometimes aim for things we don’t even want—just to say we tried.


• Hilary calls out the real culprits: society’s pressures, fear of both failing and succeeding, and dodging responsibility. When we only give a half-effort, we get to blame everything but ourselves for not hitting our goals. 

Episode Breakdown:

• [00:00 ] Self-Sabotage: How it Sneaks Up


• [03:10 ] Real Talk: Client Example


• [03:41 ] #1 External Expectations


• [04:24 ] #2 Fear of Everything


• [06:31 ] #3 Dodging Responsibility


• [07:24 ] The Costs of Playing Small


• [08:17 ] Living Intentionally


• [08:49 ] Dealing with Fears Head-On

Listener Takeaways:

• Time to ask yourself: are you living for you, or for what others expect? Get real, and get clear on what you actually want.


• Whether you’re terrified of crashing and burning or secretly scared of being too successful, face those fears head-on. You can’t move forward if you’re stuck in the shadows.


• Ambivalence keeps you in a constant stall-out. Hilary’s advice? Commit fully and own your choices, so you can finally move forward.

This episode is your wake-up call to ditch the inner tug-of-war and start showing up with intention and clarity. Ready to stop holding yourself back? Tune in and get the tools you need to start living with purpose.

Want more incredible resources from Hilary? Click here to access all of her free paradigm-flipping tools: https://hilarysilver.com/guides/