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The Temperance Table: Mormonism, Methodism & the Caffeine-Free Gospel

The Temperance Table: Mormonism, Methodism & the Caffeine-Free Gospel

Update: 2025-10-20
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Why did America learn to fear the feast?

In this episode of the Orthodox Health Podcast, Dr. Michael Christian & John continue the story of how 19th-century revivalism, temperance preachers, & eventually Mormonism redefined food & drink as moral tests instead of gifts of grace.

From Joseph Smith’s “caffeine-free gospel” to the Methodist crusade against alcohol, we uncover how Protestant (& post-Prostestant) restraint replaced the sacramental joy of the table.

You’ll hear how Mormonism’s “Word of Wisdom” mixed piety with folk magick, how the Temperance Movement made self-control America’s new religion, & why Orthodoxy restores what the modern diet religions lost: communion, celebration, & thanksgiving.

Because the goal isn’t to scrub the world clean... it’s to let grace illuminate it again.

Takeaways:

  • The Word of Wisdom & Methodist temperance reforms weren’t just health codes... they were moral boundary-markers born from revivalist guilt.

  • Protestant suspicion of the body paved the way for America’s caffeine-free, low-fat, self-denying “diet gospel.”

  • Mormonism’s origins in the “Burned-Over District” fused folk magick, Freemasonry, & alchemy with the language of revelation.

  • The Enlightenment’s split between matter & spirit created a vacuum that folk magic rushed to fill... a kind of what Jonathan Pageau calls “mis-enchantment.”

    • Orthodoxy bridges that divide: fasting disciplines, feasting sanctifies.
    • True detox is repentance; true temperance is joy rightly ordered.

  • Sound Bytes:

    • “When America gave up the chalice, it didn’t lose alcohol... it lost sacrament.”
    • “The problem isn’t caffeine — it’s when we turn self-control into a new gospel.”
    • “They tried to scrub the world clean… but grace doesn’t sterilize... it sanctifies."
    • “Revivalists replaced feasting with guilt, but the Orthodox answer isn’t to reject ritual... it’s to redeem it.”
    • “The only real detox? Repentance. That’s how the icons are restored.”


    Chapters:

    00:00 Opener

    01:30 Introduction to the Caffeine-Free Gospel

    05:45 The Word of Wisdom: Mormonism's Dietary Advice

    09:06 The Role of Control in "Holiness"

    11:28 Methodists & the Rise of the Temperance Movement

    13:00 John's Quick Gospel of the Jedi Aside

    13:40 On Trying to Legislate Holiness

    19:37 An Aside on Mary as the Queen of Heaven

    21:14 Prohibition as Fasting Without Feasting

    24:07 Protestant Guilt & Modern Diet Culture

    30:10 Hedonism as a Revolt Against Puritanism

    31:55 Joy as a Commandment

    34:54 Moralism & The Need for Ritual

    37:57 Mormonism: America's Gnostic Great Awakening

    41:02 Thy Will Vs. Self-Will in Salvation

    43:50 The Contrast Between Prayer & Magic

    49:20 The Folk Magic Roots of Modern Wellness Culture

    53:15 The Wellness Gospel & Modern Rituals

    55:40 Asceticism & the True Nature of Fasting

    58:06 Closing Thoughts & Looking Ahead

    59:36 Outro

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    The Temperance Table: Mormonism, Methodism & the Caffeine-Free Gospel

    The Temperance Table: Mormonism, Methodism & the Caffeine-Free Gospel

    Dr. Michael Kuhn