In this episode of Dating in Your 20s, Amelia and Lilly dive into a topic we often avoid but can’t escape: conflict. Most of us know our love language—but have you ever thought about your conflict language?

Amelia and Lilly explore the five emerging “conflict languages” that shape how we argue, withdraw, or try to fix things in relationships. From avoiders and people pleasers to fix-it-fast responders and emotional escalators, they break down how each style shows up, why it forms, and how to better understand it in the context of dating during your twenties. With personal stories, client insights, and therapist-backed tools, this episode offers a compassionate crash course on building emotional awareness in romantic conflict.

Conflict isn’t bad—it’s how we handle it that matters.

What we cover in this conflict language episode:

• Why conflict feels so hard in your twenties


• The 5 major conflict styles: Avoid/Withdraw, Fix-It-Fast, Blame/Deflect, Please-and-Pacify, and Rupture/Repair


• How conflict styles connect to past experiences, attachment, and identity


• The difference between emotional regulation and emotional reaction


• Reframing conflict as an opportunity for deeper connection

Related Episodes to:

Dating in Your 20s Series: Putting Yourself Out There | Dating in Your 20s Series: Self-Growth Through Dating Reflection

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We’d love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It’s a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect with the hosts of DIY20s:

Millennium Athlete Wellness: Website

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn

Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

More About Millennium Counseling Center: 

At Millennium Counseling Center, our mission is to provide compassionate and personalized support for individuals facing challenges related to mental health, addiction, relationships, and trauma. Our dedicated and diverse staff works to create a safe, welcoming, and supportive environment for people from all walks of life. We are committed to fostering a program and treatment plan uniquely tailored to your needs and who you are, helping you find a path to healing and growth.

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