In this powerful episode Dr. Amelia Kelley is joined by Lindsay Abernathy, host of the Bitch is a Bad Word podcast, actor, survivor, and outspoken advocate for those navigating abusive relationships. Originally planning to discuss life and love after abuse, the conversation naturally shifted to something just as important: recognizing the signs of abuse while you’re still in it. Lindsay vulnerably shares her personal story, how love bombing, gaslighting, isolation, and manipulation became part of her daily life, and how difficult it was to see the cycle clearly while living through it. Together, Amelia and Lindsay unpack the “playbook” abusers follow, why it feels so confusing, and what survivors need to know about intermittent reinforcement, repair cycles, and reclaiming self-worth. If you or someone you love is unsure whether what they’re experiencing is abuse, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and encouragement. You’ll also hear about resources and communities ready to support you, because healing doesn’t have to happen alone.

Key Takeaways

• Abusive relationships often follow the same predictable cycle—love bombing, devaluation, isolation, and intermittent reinforcement.
• Survivors often stay not because they want the relationship to end, but because they desperately hope the abuse will stop.
• Even small “repairs” (like a crumb of kindness) can keep survivors hooked, similar to a slot machine’s intermittent rewards.
• Children benefit profoundly when even one parent provides a safe, secure, and loving environment—even if only part-time.
• Leaving abuse allows survivors to rebuild their identities, reconnect with their support networks, and show their children what safety looks like.
• Abusers often store survivors’ vulnerabilities in a “vault,” later weaponizing them—this is not a reflection of your worth but of their manipulation.

Resources & Support Mentioned

• National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233
• If outside the U.S.: Search for your local domestic violence hotline. If you cannot find one, message Dr. Kelley via her website and she will help research for you.
• Bitch is a Bad Word Podcast: Available on Apple, Spotify, and all major platforms
• Follow Lindsay Abernathy:
• Instagram: @bitchisabadwordpod
• Community Line: Call or text 331-BITCHES to connect or share your story
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EPISODE LINKS

Dr. Amelia Kelley: About | Dr. Kelley's Books | Instagram 

 

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