Ever tried to disagree with someone who is absolutely convinced they are right? It is exhausting, isn't it? And if we are honest, we have all been that person at some point.

In this week's livestream, Matt Edmundson tackles conflict in relationships - not just marriage, but friendships, work, and increasingly in our everyday interactions. He explores why we have moved from disagreeing with ideas to fundamentally hating people, and how Christians can demonstrate that another way is possible.

Matt identifies two camps most of us fall into: the Winners who must be right at any cost, and the Avoiders who keep peace but lose intimacy. Drawing from Ephesians 4, he unpacks six biblical principles that transform how we handle disagreement - from complete transparency to dealing with anger quickly, watching our words, getting rid of bitterness, being genuinely kind, and remembering how much we have been forgiven.

You will hear vulnerable stories about Matt's own journey learning to value relationships over being right, plus practical wisdom from Conversation Street on handling phone addiction, political differences, and the modern excuse of we are just not compatible.

[03:00 ] We Have Forgotten How to Communicate

Matt opens with a challenging observation: we are living in extraordinary times where we no longer just disagree with ideas - we fundamentally hate people. It is called affective polarisation.

James says everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. But we have completely flipped that script. We are quick to speak, slow to listen, and really, really quick to become angry.

What we explore:

• How Proverbs 18:2 calls out those who delight in airing opinions without seeking understanding
• Why we may think we are being humble but are actually just delivering verdicts
• The cultural shift from dialogue to tribal warfare
• How this affects relationships at every level

Key takeaway: If you have already decided you are right before the conversation starts, you are not having a conversation - you are delivering a verdict.

[08:15 ] The Winners: Right But Alone

Matt explores the first camp - those who approach every disagreement like a battle that must be won with facts, logic and evidence.

You might win the argument completely, but something breaks between you. Your logic might be airtight, but you have lost the person. You are right, but you are alone.

Honest insights from Matt's business experience:

• Why running a company requires a certain amount of ego
• Creating a board with equal votes specifically to get pushback
• Finding disagreements deeply annoying but also very helpful
• Learning to see conflict as opportunity rather than battle

Key takeaway: In marriage especially, you may gain the argument but lose the person when winning becomes your goal.

[12:45 ] The Avoiders: Peace But No Intimacy

The second camp avoids conflict entirely - do not rock the boat, keep things pleasant, peace at any cost.

While you are avoiding the conflict, you are also preventing the connection. The things that matter most go unspoken. Hurt and resentment build quietly, like mould behind a wall you cannot see until the damage is catastrophic.

What happens when we avoid:

• You withdraw emotionally, even if just a little bit
• You become more like roommates than life partners
• One day something small triggers an explosion
• Your partner is blindsided because they had no idea things were building

Key takeaway: Biblical love does not demand you win, but it also does not allow you to hide.

[17:20 ] Six Biblical Principles for Conflict Resolution

Matt unpacks practical principles from Ephesians 4:25-32 that reframe how we handle disagreements.

1. Stop Telling Lies - Tell the Truth

Complete transparency in marriage - no hidden websites, secret accounts, or private messages excluding your spouse. If you cannot share it, there is a strong chance you should not be doing it.

2. Control Your Anger - Deal With It Quickly

Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Unresolved anger ferments into something toxic. Keep short accounts. Deal with things quickly. Matt shares how he journals, prays and walks - often all three together - always within a day.

3. Watch Your Words

Let everything you say be good and helpful. Matt challenges how Christians have become indistinguishable from non-believers online - the same contempt, the same tribal anger. When we consume politically charged content, we get discipled by social media rather than the Holy Spirit.

4. Get Rid of Bitterness

Notice who Paul is talking to - you, not them. Take personal responsibility. Stop being historical in arguments, bringing up failures from years ago. Love keeps no record of being wronged.

5. Be Kind

Kind does not mean soft or weak. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is confront the issue directly. Kindness is about communicating with a tender heart.

Matt shares learning to be the first to apologise, examining what he had contributed to conflict rather than defending his position. Jesus reminds us: why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?

6. Remember How Much You Have Been Forgiven

When you remember how much you have been forgiven - your pride, defensiveness, the ways you have hurt God and others - it becomes easier to extend that grace to your spouse.

Key takeaway: 99 times out of 100, there is always something you can own and apologise for. Start there.

[40:00 ] What This Looks Like Practically

Matt vulnerably shares a recent example with his wife Sharon.

Life had been busy and I had not been spending as much time with Sharon as I should or as she deserved. Sharon was feeling it. I could have justified it - men are great at justifying work and busyness - but that was not the point.

What he did:

• Took time to journal and think about his contribution
• Properly apologised (not I am sorry you are upset)
• Led to talking through what actually needed addressing
• Never let it fester more than a day

Key takeaway: Get rid of the log in your own eye first, then you can see clearly to help with the speck in theirs.

[44:00 ] Conversation Street: The Phone Problem

Dan, Jenny and Matt discuss how technology is infiltrating every conversation and relationship.

How do you manage phones without constant distraction?

Dan shared: My excuse was I run a business, I need to be on my phone. It is not that urgent. I can wait and do it all together in one go.

Jenny's household rules:

• Phones not allowed at dinner table
• Phones not allowed in bedrooms
• Plan intentional times to connect with phones away
• It is so addictive - we would be terrible if we were not trying proactively to be on top of it

Practical tips that emerged:

• Use summary notifications instead of constant alerts
• Get a second phone line to separate business and personal
• Take a deck of cards when you go out as a family
• Establish phone-free zones and times
• Wear a regular watch instead of smartwatch when out with spouse

Key takeaway: You have to be intentional about putting phones down and creating space for real conversation, or technology will replace intimacy.

[51:00 ] But What About Compatibility?

Jenny raised the increasingly common question: Maybe we are just not compatible. Maybe I picked the wrong person.

Matt's characteristically direct response:

Let us be clear - you are not compatible. Fundamentally, you are flawed human beings. So there is going to be an element of tension and disagreement. Life is not like the reels you see on social media.

The biblical perspective:

• If you have made a covenant promise, that is a promise
• Assuming no adultery, abuse or abandonment, the covenant stands
• Compatibility becomes about swallowing your pride and working through it
• Once you are in, you are in - find a way through

Jenny added her experience:

Me and my husband actually have hardly anything in common. Sometimes we are like, how did we end up married? But we have a great marriage because we have worked through a whole ton of stuff multiple times.

Key takeaway: You were attracted to each other because you are different, and that difference is what sometimes makes you infuriating now. But with a humble heart and shared vision, God will help you work through pretty much anything.

[56:30 ] Your Next Step This Week

Matt's challenge is beautifully simple.

Next time you think you are right, ask yourself: What if I am wrong about being right? Be the first to apologise - not because you are weak, but because you are wise enough to value the relationship over being right.

The hope we can offer:

• Biblical love does not avoid conflict - it expects it and endures it