DiscoverThe ikario Podcast: human thriving in the modern worldWhat Secure Attachment Actually Feels Like
What Secure Attachment Actually Feels Like

What Secure Attachment Actually Feels Like

Update: 2025-09-01
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Attachment styles are all the rage, but I rarely see anyone talking about what secure attachment is actually like. A lot of the focus is on wounded attachment, on how avoidantly attached people attract anxiously attached people and all the drama that ensues etc.


My personal experience is one of healing my attachment style and going from highly avoidant to deeply secure.


In this episode, I share my personal journey of transitioning from an avoidantly attached individual to being securely attached. I delve into the practical realities and daily experiences of secure attachment, contrasting it with my past avoidant tendencies. Discover how relationships have transformed from sources of stress to sources of peace and stability, and learn about the key shifts in mindset and behavior that facilitated this change. This video aims to provide a grounded perspective on secure attachment and offers insights for those looking to heal their own attachment styles. Join the discussion and explore what it truly means to be securely attached.


In this article, I share how I learned to become less numb and actually feel my own desires and boundaries: https://open.substack.com/pub/thinslices/p/how-i-learned-to-hear-the-whisper


On a similar note, check out this video about developing intuition: https://youtu.be/q2D6fcGDrp4


Chapters:

00:00 Intro

01:04 From Avoidant to Secure

02:20 Peace, Finally

04:17 How My Avoidance Played Out

04:57 Better By Myself?

06:35 Being In Relationship Without Losing Myself

08:16 Is Secure Attachment Selfish?

11:17 The Art of Asking for What You Want

13:33 Giving The Gift of Receiving

14:46 No More Fear of Failure

16:32 "I have to make this work"

18:48 Does Secure Attachment Make You Attractive?

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What Secure Attachment Actually Feels Like

What Secure Attachment Actually Feels Like

Shane Melaugh