On Today’s Show:







Tim delivers a packed midweek show filled with vengeance, vile curses, AI abortions, and bowel emergencies. Sponsored by “Freeloading Fucktard,” today’s DV opens with a dramatic, Shakespearean-style monologue addressed to “Aaron,” a former friend who betrayed a fellow listener — ending with a literal shit curse. From there, the show spirals into the absurd with a remix of a teenage anti-abortion anthem, an unhinged trucker’s roadside bathroom emergency, a gun-wielding “good pedophile” storming a Wikipedia conference, and a Holocaust-themed Halloween float gone wrong in Pennsylvania.















💩 Segments and Highlights







Listener Vendetta: The Shit Curse of Aaron









* A listener sponsor pays Tim to deliver a hate message to his backstabbing friend Aaron.







* Tim transforms the short insult into an operatic, bowel-based monologue full of bile, fury, and fecal retribution.







* “All your bowel evacuations will be liquidy, hot and burning… or hard and sharp as glass.”







* Ends with the timeless sendoff: “Eat shit and die, bitch!”

















🎶 Musical Madness: “Abortion” Gets an AI Makeover









* Revisiting Your Cardboard Heart, a legendary Linda Finkel Hall of Fame entry for its 2000s-era anti-abortion anthem.







* Tim feeds the song into AI to see if artificial intelligence can polish a Christian turd.







* The AI reinterprets the lyrics as pro–illegal abortion — a radical new take.







* Listener Danny Boy’s “coat hanger remix” steals the spotlight with grim humor and surprisingly catchy punk energy.

















💻 Podcasting in Crisis









* Tim laments the state of podcasting: “Every able-bodied American has one, even stroke victims slurring their way up the charts.”







* Features a clip of preteen podcasters awkwardly discussing Ice Cube, Sydney Sweeney, and “fire” things.







* The boys’ other viral clip—an anti-trans rap—reveals they’re likely mini right-wing grifters in training.







* “Lil Rogan” might be the most accurate nickname ever coined on DV.

















🚨 Police Poop Patrol









* Real police bodycam footage: a semi-truck driver slurring his way through a traffic stop while repeatedly announcing he has to poop.







* “You gotta poop?” “Yeah.” “Well, that’s gonna have to wait.” Spoiler: it didn’t.







* The inevitable outcome arrives mid-arrest, just as he complains, “You’re pinching my cock and balls!”







* Tim cheers the moment: “I’m ready for this guy to shit. He’s been hyping me up for the main event!”

















🧠 WikiCon Interrupted by a ‘Non-Offending Pedophile’









* A self-described “anti-contact pedophile” storms a Wikipedia conference in NYC with a handgun.







* No one hurt; he’s quickly tackled.







* His multicolored sign references “MAP” (Minor-Attracted Persons) pride colors.







* Tim: “If you have to deal with a pedophile, I guess the non-offending kind is the best you can hope for.”

















🎃 Holocaust Float ‘Oopsie’









* Pennsylvania Halloween parade float includes Auschwitz-style “Work Makes You Free” gate.







* Designer apologizes,