Let the yolk come to you, young Jedi

Can you make me look like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop?

Work lunches suck

my daddy abandoned me but youtube didnt

Your scrambled eggs are a turn-on, man

But where does the gingivitis go?

I'm over tacos

Carolyn lost a bike race to a 10 year old boy

Mission Impossible 8 (9?): Please god let this be the final reckoning

You don't have to remove your shoes but you can't use our bathroom

We was 3-wheelin' the whip!

Fantastic 4 more like Fantastic Bore amirite?!

My birthday cookie was on clearance, I took an Alabama shower for my plane friends & I was fork shamed

Mullet Breakfast & That Fly is Authentic

The arduous hair blowdrying trilogy

I went full Karen with Carin!

Moist vs Raw (we're talking about cookies here, you pervert!)

i dont get outta bed for anything less than eight hundred million dollars

"I don't care if it's fake gold."

We watched our neighbour eat pasta