愛、生活、人生系列

尊重與服務      叔本華說：「我們要尊重每一個人，不論他是何等卑微、可笑」。尊重是一種美德，每個人都渴望得到別人的尊重，但也得尊重別人。因此，尊重十分重要。談尊重，首先，我們要學會尊重自己，因為尊重自己，是尊重別人的開端。例如一個人本來就有工作的能力，讓自己過得很好，卻因為挫折而氣餒，那就不尊重自己了。正所謂「人必自重，而後人重之」，假如我們認真地生活，尊重自己，也就是對他人最大的尊重了。在學校，我們要尊重老師、同學、校工等等。上課時，要細心聆聽老師教的內容，按時提交功課，同學之間，要互相幫助、包容。在社會上，我們要回饋社會。社會給予我們良好的資源，提供充足的食物，我們要好好珍惜，要讓座給有需要的人，安守秩序，遵守交通規則，在工作崗位上，要負責盡職。尊重，讓我們保有自己的自尊，同時也保有他人的自主。      每個人的價值觀都不同，如果無法尊重別人不同的價值觀，就會有衝突，起爭執。尊重的定義，就是高度關注，或敬重對方的觀點與感受，並能肯定對方的能力與內在特質。尊重得以讓我們相互保有主體性，不會讓關係破裂，而且，尊重是可以學習的。心理學家霍勒曼(Holloman)與耶茨(Yates)歸納出11 種表達尊重的語彙： 1. 鼓勵的語彙 2. 寬容的語彙 3. 引導彼此的語彙 4. 講出願意尊重彼此的語彙 5. 講出擁抱更高期望的語彙 6. 經常談論對未來的期望 7. 把愛說出口 8. 直接分享心情 9. 表達對對方的理解 10. 表達彼此是合作或互助的一體 11. 表達重視彼此的責任 表達尊重的方式有很多種，但最重要的是要表達出來。我們給對方的尊重，不能只是被動用「不否定」或「不干預」的方式，而是要透過更積極的方式，用我們的對話，來營造彼此尊重的氣氛，讓互動直接充滿尊重的氣息。無論我們有多麼不同意對方，甚至不喜歡對方，我們仍應遵守基本的禮節，給予對方尊重和禮貌。美國歌手瑪丹娜說：「很多人不敢講出自己要什麼。就因為這樣，他們才得不到想要的。」 我們都想要以自己值得的方式被對待，但是，前提是，我們都要先懂得尊重別人。我們要試著把注意力集中在對方所說的話上，而不是想對策或反駁。我們要避免滔滔不絕，自顧自地說話。同時，我們也要用禮貌的方式，回應對方的惡意。己所不欲，勿施於人，每個人都希望得到基本的禮貌對待。良好的舉止，是表達對他人的尊重，但其實也是對我們自己的尊重。      再者，有了尊重的心態外，我們還要有服務的行動。「服務」與「幫助」，基本上是不同的。幫助是基於不平等；它不是一種基於平等的關係。當我們用自身較高的力量，去幫助那些不那麽有力量的人，我們總是在幫一些沒有比我們更優秀，更需要的人。這樣的心態是不平等的，當我們助人時，我們有可能對他人的剝奪，比帶給他們的更多，我們甚至降低了他們的自尊與價值感。然而，當我們去服務時，我們並不認同條件的優劣，而是用我們自己所有的經驗去服務。我們服務生命，並不是因為他們是破損的，而是因為他們是神聖的。當我們服務時，我們的感覺是感謝，它是雙向的。隨著時間流逝，幫助會耗竭，我們會燒盡自己。然而，服務是更新的，當我們服務時，我們的工作自身，就會維持我們。從服務的觀點來看，我們全都是連結的， 所有他人的受苦，就像我們的受苦；所有他人的喜悅，就像我們的喜悅一樣。例如，通常，我們對工作不會感恩，會說「我不喜歡我的工作」，但又無法離開，在我們自己創造的兩難中，工作變成了一個負擔。但是，如果我們可以對工作說：「非常感謝你到目前為止，帶給我的一切，你已經為我做得夠多了」，那就意味著，我們不會繼續抱怨自己的工作。因為我們有意識要保留它，我們就會從一個被動的受害者，變成一個主動的承擔者。感恩是非常有力量的，而且不需要花一毛錢，我們只需要放下驕傲和抱怨即可，我們就可以尊重他人，服務大眾。願我們每個人，都能學會時時尊重，處處服務。 Powered by Firstory Hosting

順其自然的美好Let All Things Happen Naturally      人生所有的事情，都來的很自然，人生百態，順其自然是最適當的心境。其實，萬事不必太在意，擁有時請珍惜，失去時不說遺憾，過多的在乎，會將人生的樂趣減半，看淡一切，也就增添生命的盎然。有緣無分、有分無緣，都是生命中不圓滿的缺憾，它不應成為我們人生的途中，走不出的困惑和茫然。有失敗，就會有成功，有完美，就會有遺憾，且讓一切順其自然，保持順其自然的心境面對生活，面對記憶，或面對正在發生的人事物吧！曾經擁有的，不要忘記，已經得到的，要更加珍惜，屬於自己的，不要放棄，已經失去的，就留作回憶，想要得到的，就要更加努力。       順其自然，是處之泰然。人無完人，每一個人都是在失敗和錯誤中，不斷的摸索，變得更聰明，更成熟、睿智的。當然，萬事隨緣，並不是在看破紅塵後，一切無所謂，更不是遊戲人生，而是培養一種博大的淡薄情懷，開闊的平靜精神，樂觀向上的心態，溫柔善良的性格，和一顆寬容的心！       順其自然，是把握每一個瞬間，試着去做，去面對每一個昨天、今天和明天。事情總是有因有果，人與事、事與人，總有千絲萬縷的聯繫。有些事情，並沒有我們想像中的那麼複雜，當然，也不都簡單快樂，只要我們過得開心，健康，平安，這才是最重要的。現代許多人，忙於生計，心情浮躁，晝夜顛倒，長時間超時工作，於是，便積勞成疾。我們要在這世界上，活得灑脫，當內心產生憂愁之際，順其自然，就是最佳的選擇，順乎本性，不失為聰明之舉。凡事順其自然，不必刻意強求，反倒能有一番收穫。俗話說：「有心栽花花不開，無心插柳柳成蔭。」順其自然，就是冥冥之中，自有天意的安排。      有一個佛教故事中說，禪院裡的草地，有一大片枯黃了，小和尚有些著急，對他的師父說：「我們趕緊撒點草籽吧，實在是太難看了！」師父告訴他：「不急，甚麼時候都能撒，隨時！」中秋的時候，師父把草籽買了回來，交給小和尚去播種。秋風起了，草籽邊撒，就邊被風飄走了。小和尚這時十分焦急地對師父喊：「不好了，許多草籽，都被吹走了。」師父很平靜地說：「沒關係，吹走的多半是空的，撒下去也發不了芽。擔甚麼心呢？隨性！」撒完草籽，小和尚發現有許多小鳥飛來啄食。他非常驚慌地告訴師父：「草籽都會被小鳥吃了，這下沒戲唱了！」師父依然很平靜：「沒關係，種子多，吃不完！隨遇！」半夜的時候，下了一陣暴雨，小和尚一大早就衝進禪房，「師父，這下真的完了！好多草籽，被雨水沖走了！」師父說：「沖到哪兒，就在哪兒發芽。隨緣！」一個星期過去了，原本光禿禿的地面，居然長出許多青翠的草苗，一些原來沒播種的角落，也泛出綠意。小和尚高興得直拍手，師父點頭：「隨喜！」      由此看來，當遇到困難之時，找不出好的解決辦法，就讓它順其自然。畢竟「謀事在人，成事在天。」老子在《道德經》中說：「人法地，地法天，天法道，道法自然」，意思是說，人受制於地，地受制於天，天受制於規則，規則受制於自然。自然就是客觀存在的世界，及不變的規律。道法自然，就是做事的方法，必須順應大自然的規律。古詩中說：「春有百花秋有月，夏有涼風冬有雪。若無閒事掛心頭，便是人間好時節。」一年四季都有很多讓人開心、喜悅的景色，但也有人絞盡腦汁，殫精竭慮，寢食難安，徹夜不眠。其實，與其百般思量，不如順其自然，反倒能柳暗花明又一村。「人算不如天算」，一切都是最好的安排。 We are doers, creators of our destiny, and we make things happen. But, imagine that, we might see a man who had his life turned upside down by a heart attack; the woman who lost her father to death and had to drop everything; the family who lost their home to a hurricane; the entrepreneur that was doing well until the economy collapsed, and the cyclist who was hit by a car. Things happen every day, where we think we’re in control but we’re really not. There’s so much out of our control that what we think is control is really an illusion. Stepping back and allowing things to happen means things will take care of themselves, and our needs will also be met. And we’ve done no work. We don’t have to worry about shaping things, about controlling something that doesn’t want to be controlled. We don’t have to push, and fix leaks, and put out fires. We just let things work on their own. They happen. We might want things to go a certain way, to a certain outcome. But, things will happen, but it’s not the way we planned. The outcome might be completely different than what we’d hoped for. When we calm down, and accept that the outcome is different, it would even be wonderful and surprising. Surprises are good. Instead of trying to make things work the way we want them to work, we just watch them work. We’ve seen things work well without our controlling. Let all things happen naturally. What we are looking for will naturally find us. Don’t force anything. Let all things unfold because that is the only way we can do. Letting things happen creates freedom, not force. There is no need to rush things, and no need to control the situation. Let the universe deal with it. If things are supposed to happen, they will happen. And if they aren’t meant to happen, they won’t. One of the biggest mistakes we make in life is that we try too hard to control situations and people. We worry about things like “When will he finally ask me out?” or “What am I going to say when she tells me she’s leaving the company?” We try to picture how a situation should go, or how someone should react, and then we set out to make those things happen. Life doesn’t work that way. Things don’t go according to our plans and they never will. We often upset others and wind up getting hurt by our own actions. And in the end, we have no one to blame but ourselves. The truth is that we have no way of knowing how a situation will unfold, so all we can do is trust ourselves and trust nature. Powered by Firstory Hosting

開懷高唱     2025年「民歌50高峰會」最終場，最後一次，為民歌高峰會而唱，最後一次，在民歌高峰會相聚。在最璀璨的時刻，向民歌致敬，用最摯愛的歌聲，流淌50年的歲月，勾起塵封的記憶。2/12、2/13、2/14台北小巨蛋，和2/15高雄巨蛋，15組最具代表性民歌手，在2025年，與我們唱響全台。2025年，將是「民歌高峰會」最後一次舉辦。感謝所有曾經參與演出的歌手們，為歷年演出所付出的努力。我們大家，將一起擁抱這片美麗的土地和文化，一起寫下音樂史上最璀璨的一頁！     很多歌迷經常說「謝謝你們不間斷的一直唱下去！」，其實，最應該說謝謝的人，是我們大家。沒有大家的鼓勵，就沒有「民歌高峰會」的誕生，沒有大家的支持與肯定，「民歌高峰會」無法走到今天。正因如此，即使在疫情期間，民歌仍盡力在政府許可的情況下舉辦，克服一切大環境的艱難，只盼實現與大家「年年見面」的約定！「民歌高峰會」自2006年至2025年，總共20個年頭，而今回首，一場又一場的演出，投入大家對民歌的熱愛，而堅持唱下去的動力，是無數真摯的眼神，和深深的感動！透過「民歌高峰會」，我們大家讓民歌的精神和價值，能夠延續、擴展，是初衷，也是使命。即便經歷挫折、考驗，即便曾萌生退意，大家仍披荊斬棘一直往前，而今，希望近20年的演出，大家能替民歌音樂盡綿薄之力，在我們生命中的一小塊拼圖，有著熱血純真的年少時光，洶湧澎湃的炙熱情感，更有凝聚那逐漸淡去的過往。     「民歌50高峰會最终場」將秉持初心演出，15組歌手，齊聲演繹最經典的民歌，在告別之餘，大家全力籌備、盡力歌唱，帶來最後一場超乎想像的表演。「最终場」並非代表民歌的結束，而是在這閃耀的時節，總結「民歌高峰會」20年的時光。離別雖然傷感，但只要繼續聽民歌、繼續創作屬於民歌的音樂，50年的燦爛、50年的回憶，會細細品嚐，細細回味，珍惜與大家最後的相聚，一起放聲高歌！謝謝每位曾參與其中，成為「民歌高峰會」一員的你、我、他。 卡司陣容： 施孝榮、殷正洋、楊耀東、周治平、王中平、王瑞瑜、李明德、羅吉鎮、鄭怡、金智娟、于台煙、王海玲、許景淳、趙詠華、陳艾湄     「中華音樂人交流協會」是在1995年「民歌二十」活動之後成立的。後來又分別辦了「民歌三十」、「民歌四十」與「民歌四十五」的系列活動，現在，「民歌五十」就在眼前。這個團體並非商業機構，辦活動是從文化與歷史的角度去規劃與設計的。在公布「民歌五十」系列活動起跑的此刻，年近八十的陶曉清，慶幸自己活得夠長，還能再一次跟大家一起參與。      1975年6月6日民歌之父--楊弦，在台北中山堂，舉辦現代民謠創作演唱會，從此，為現代民歌揭開序幕，經歷金韻獎、民謠風、大學城，在華語歌壇中，具有獨特性、時代性、歷史性的意義，其創作風氣，帶動後續整個華語流行樂壇百花齊放的年代。民歌即將邁入五十週年，「中華音樂人交流協會」將於2025年2月12日，於台北小巨蛋連唱三天。「民歌五十」演唱會，一生只有一次，民歌盛會，演出陣容龐大，邀演歌手橫跨不同世代，三天演出，超過50組歌手，100多首曲目，猶如民歌音樂節，穿越時光，一起歡唱！唱出回憶、唱出感動、唱回青春。     民歌五十： -楊弦：也許很多年輕一代沒有參加過，那麼這次就是一個機會！ -陶曉清：民歌五十對我的意義是，哇真好我還活著，還可以去參與。 -李建復：民歌五十除了是一個很棒的嘉年華，更重要是傳承！ -丁曉雯：民歌五十的列車開動了，很榮幸我還在車上！ -于冠華：那是滋養心靈的養分，啟蒙你我彈唱細胞裡自我表現的衝動。 -木吉他合唱團 (江學世/李宗盛/張炳輝/陳秀男/黃慶元/劉因國)：大家都老了，可是還能再聚在一起，很棒。 -王新蓮：它幾乎是我大半生的一個美好的回憶！ -王夢麟：時間怎麼過的這麼快！ -吳貞慧(江念庭)：身為民歌手讓我深感驕傲與榮幸。 -吳楚楚：我是第一代民歌手，參加民歌五十，要保持好的身體才辦的到。 -李麗芬：陶姐，謝謝您造福了這麽多人。 -周治平：民歌五十是一個里程碑，希望大家一起來慶祝！ -周秉鈞：希望大家永遠記得我們那個時候的感情與熱情！ -林佳蓉：感恩因為音樂我和淑絹能夠攜手參與民歌演唱會。 -林隆璇：「民歌運動」是「90年代華語黃金」時代的推動者。 -林瓊瓏：民歌本來就是一個傳承的東西，尤其是精神上的傳承。 -邰肇玫：民歌讓我實現我的青春、我的夢想，然後唱自己的歌。 -侯德健：非常珍惜與大家擁有同一個五十年的記憶。 -金智娟：我們一起經歷過這些歲月，唱自己的歌，唱著唱著唱出了一個世代。 -金韻合唱團(王文珍/英秀青/張瑞薰/黃韻玲)：民歌五十對我們來說，是一個個青春的記憶。 -凃佩岑：感恩這世界有那麼多民歌知音，活在飛揚的青春裡。 -姚黛瑋：能夠在奔六的年紀參與民歌五十盛會，終於可以上台演唱了！ -胡藝芬：這些熟悉的民歌乘載了我們成長當中非常美好的記憶。 -范怡文：身為音樂人非常榮幸一起走過民歌崛起的年代。 -范廣慧：希望大家能夠共襄盛舉，我們一起來歡唱！ -殷正洋：民歌五十真的是不容易啊，希望大家不要錯過！ -馬宜中：只要講到我是民歌手，都會讓我感到非常的驕傲。 -許淑絹：感謝大家陪伴我們五十年，我們還要繼續相約一起唱下去… -許景淳：民歌讓我的生命有了不一樣的色彩和意義。 -曾淑勤：因為有你們，民歌五十更顯得意義非凡，獨一無二。 -黃仲崑：搭上民歌列車五十載，希望未來我都還能繼續唱歌給你們聽！ -楊耀東：50年，凡走過必留下痕跡。沒有遺憾，只有感恩!! 這就是人生~ -楊祖峮：1976年我們推動唱自己的歌，唱自己的歌不是終點是起點。 -萬芳：五十，是新的開始。珍惜並且擁抱。 -葉佳修：大家都知道我喜歡民歌，就這麼一個簡單念頭，活過這開心50年。 -董運昌：民歌是華人流行音樂的一個代表性的高峰，美好的回憶！ -靳鐵章：民歌五十對我的意義是…我的頭髮變少了。 -廖柏青：用最簡單動人的樂音，伴隨成長中喜怒哀樂的記憶，彌足珍貴！ -趙樹海：如今一晃即將50年，希望民歌的種子永留人間！ -齊豫：民歌20、30、40、50都是致敬，向那些年的精神與堅持致敬。 -潘越雲：民歌的文學與音樂結合，很榮幸我許多的作品也都參與其中。 -鄭怡：每次民歌演唱會就好像是同學會，大家歡聚一堂。 -賴佩霞：It’s my life！我的童年，因為有民歌所以我很快樂。 -謝宇威：民歌對整個華人音樂圈影響深遠，非常榮幸能夠參與其中。 -藍麗婷：一首首民歌就像是一朵朵的花朵，在我的生命中成了一座美麗花園… -蘇來：不知不覺都五十年了，我很慶幸我參加民歌，你也跟我們一起！    校園民歌(英語：Campus folk song)是台灣在1970年代發展出的流行音樂風格。起初在大專院校校園的學生活動中產生，風格各異，背景不同。在中華民國政府的國際關係，漸漸處於不利的前提下，藝文界的參與，及電器業者和大眾傳播媒體的推廣，從「唱自己的歌」的口號，到以「校園民歌」的名稱，被社會大眾熟悉，並引發後續的創作風潮。1960年代後期，至1970年代初期，在學校社團及救國團營隊活動中，已可見到學生創作歌曲的先例，比如〈萍聚〉據稱創作於1967年；當時就讀台大中文系的吳統雄，和山野服務的朋友們，共同創作的〈偶然〉，據稱創作於1973年；小歌的作者，創作〈盼〉的周興立，其創作據稱始於1972年。另外，透過學校社團及傳播媒體，發表歌曲的例子，有當時就讀東吳大學政治系的葉佳修，在1974年寫下的處女作〈流浪者的獨白〉，他透過吉他社聯誼的場合，被廣播人凌晨聽到，引介到「平安夜」廣播節目發表。廣播人陶曉清更開放自己的節目，讓年輕的音樂創作者，有一個發表的平台。1977年，陶曉清邀請吳統雄、吳楚楚、楊祖珺、胡德夫、楊弦等民歌手，灌錄唱片《我們的歌》，大大帶動校園民歌風潮。陶曉清因此也被視為台灣民歌發展的重要推手。1977年，新格唱片投入音樂市場，推出「金韻獎」，1978年，海山唱片創辦「民謠風」。這兩項民歌創作比賽，及比賽合輯的出版，將民歌帶向商業化。很多民歌時期著名的歌手與創作者，都經歷過上述的比賽：由「金韻獎」比賽出身的民歌手有，陳明韶、包美聖、黃大城、李建復、王海玲等人；葉佳修、蔡琴是「民謠風」的代表人物；齊豫、蘇來則是跨越兩個陣營。王夢麟、楊祖珺、趙樹海等人，也搭上這一波比賽出輯的風潮，進入唱片市場。潘安邦、陳淑樺、芝麻龍眼等，具清新風格的流行歌手，也以民歌曲風推出專輯。民歌的特質，是歌詞通俗而真摯，曲調優美而樸質、節奏明朗而生動，結構簡短而自然，使人聽了有身歷其境的感覺。歌謠具深刻思想內容，反映社會的光明面，及純正價值觀。民歌能夠表現出國家民族命運和遭遇。藉著民謠，亦可加強民族意識和國家觀念，其功效無可限量。台灣民歌，充分表現出先民的奮鬥、進取、樂觀開朗的精神。在台灣各地流傳的民歌，包羅萬象，例如：歷史故事、民間傳說，道德教化、農耕漁牧、家庭倫理、男女情愛……等，都是民歌題材，內容非常豐富。 Powered by Firstory Hosting

歲末爽吃     2024年的一整年，即將進入尾聲了，我發現我和大家最喜歡談論的話題，就是爽吃。「吃」真的是超愉快與療癒的，在我們的記憶與印象中，「吃」帶給我們的回憶，不勝枚舉，永遠也談不完。我們的生活，少不了吃，人生更不能沒有美味，讓我們在歲末年初時，好好爽吃一頓吧！ 豬：日式豬排，打拋豬，炸豬排，鹹豬肉，蔥爆豬肉，泡菜豬肉，滷豬腳，薑燒豬肉，蒜泥白肉，筍絲滷爌肉，蠔油肉片，馬鈴薯燉肉，醬燒豬，豬肋骨，豬心，豬肝，豬腸，松阪豬，豬蹄膀，東坡肉 雞：炸雞，烤雞，雞腿，雞翅，雞爪，粉蒸雞，腐乳雞，蘆筍雞捲，啤酒雞，蜜桃雞柳，鹽焗雞，桶仔雞，人蔘雞，香菇雞，雞蛋，茶葉蛋，宮保雞，雞排，甕缸雞，窯烤雞，三杯雞，鹹酥雞 鴨：片鴨，薑母鴨，冰糖醬鴨，當歸鴨，芋頭鴨煲，廣東烤鴨，鹹菜鴨，鹹水鴨，煙燻鴨，櫻桃鴨，北平烤鴨，甘蔗鴨，鴨賞，鴨血，鴨蛋 鵝：白斬鵝肉，鵝肝，涼拌鵝肉，鵝腸韭菜，滷鵝掌，西芹鵝肉片，燻茶鵝 牛：和牛涮，和牛炙燒，和牛壽喜燒，爐烤牛排，蔥爆牛肉，滷牛腱，紅酒燉牛肉，清燉牛肉，牛肉片，紅燒牛肉，醬燒牛肉，牛筋，牛肚，牛腱，牛肉火鍋 羊：炒羊肉，沙嗲羊肉串，咖喱羊肉捲，腐乳羊五花，清蒸羊肉，藥膳羊肉鍋， 麻辣羊肉，羊肉爐 魚：鮭魚，午仔魚，鮪魚，生魚片，虱目魚，和風鮭魚煮，普羅旺斯煎鱈魚，三杯炒旗魚，宮保魚片，糖醋魚，薑絲魚，烤魚，鱸魚，土魠魚，酸菜魚，炒鱔魚，鰻魚，黃魚，白帶魚，比目魚，烏魚，烏魚子 海鮮：牡蠣，干貝，蝦，蟹，蛤蜊，鮮蚵燴豆腐，蘆筍炒透抽，滑蛋蝦仁，芙蓉炒螃蟹，醬炒鮮干貝，炸蝦，小卷，中卷，軟絲，魷魚，章魚，烏賊，炒花枝，花枝丸，魚漿，海蔘 米飯麵：肉粽，油條，春捲，蛋餅，漢堡，洋蔥圈，薯條，乾麵，米苔目，米粉，碗粿，肉圓，粉條，飯糰，肉燥飯，廣東粥，鹹粥，蛋包飯，披薩，咖喱飯，燉飯，涼麵，炒麵，炸醬麵，麵疙瘩，烏龍麵，大滷麵，水餃，飯捲，壽司，蔥油餅，火鍋，蔥肉餅，肉包，水煎包，小籠包，粉粿，燒餅，麵線，煎餃，鍋貼，竹筒飯，餛飩，韭菜盒，義大利麵，拉麵，涼麵，豆腐 蔬菜：蔬菜湯，酸辣湯，沙拉，玉米濃湯，空心菜，大陸妹，地瓜葉，波菜，白菜，花椰菜，青江菜，黃瓜，苦瓜，辣椒，四季豆，茄子，香菇，海帶，高麗菜，芥藍菜，豆芽菜，南瓜，紅蘿蔔，韭菜 水果：橘子，蘋果，木瓜，鳳梨，紅龍果，酪梨，柳丁，西瓜，水蜜桃，奇異果，香蕉，哈密瓜，楊桃，芒果，草莓，蕃茄，百香果，葡萄，檸檬，梨子，紅柿 甜點：八寶甜湯，現烤蛋糕，乳酪蛋糕，千層派，餅乾，奶酪，果凍，布丁，仙草凍，堅果，巧克力，珍珠粉圓，蛋塔，鬆餅，紅豆餅，吐司，麻糬，麵包，磅蛋糕，蛋捲，湯圓，愛玉，煎餅，月餅，年糕，龜苓糕 飲料：奶茶，紅茶，綠茶，咖啡，果汁，豆漿，牛奶，可樂，冰淇淋，霜淇淋，奶昔，可可亞，木耳汁，杏仁茶，雪糕，優格，優酪乳，冰沙，蓮藕茶，青草茶，蜂蜜，蓮子湯，紅豆湯，綠豆湯，薏仁，紅棗湯     美食可以讓人開心，吃了之後，會解開心裡的不愉快。餐點的形狀、氣味、色彩，都十分的不一樣，因此，食物的好吃與色香味，都受到大家的喜愛。每種食物，代表的意義都很不同，就像吃起來的口感，有著酸甜苦辣的感覺一樣。如果食物是酸酸的，可能表示心情很困擾、生活很忙碌。甜甜的食物，代表情緒開心，都沒煩惱。苦苦的食物，蘊涵著人生非常辛苦，而辣辣的食物，則包含了不快樂的事情，例如：檸檬蛋糕、紅豆餅、苦巧克力、麻辣鍋等。美食確實讓人無法拒絕，常常使人無法抗拒，因為它在很多時候，都對我們有著撫慰心靈的效果，可以立馬免除飢餓，讓心情變得更好，緩解負面情緒等。美食在我們的生活中，是種享受的動力，我們要多多保持美好的心情，享受美食，才能體驗生活的樂趣。 Powered by Firstory Hosting

Gifts Giving from Santa Claus 聖誕老人送禮物     「聖誕老人」此一神秘人物，帶給小孩子們禮物的概念，衍生自4世紀生活在土耳其的主教聖尼古拉。北美洲，荷蘭和英國，把這一傳統，融入聖誕節日的慶祝，荷蘭語的聖尼古拉，傳進英語，成為「Santa Claus」。在英裔美國人的傳統中，聖誕老人總是快活的在聖誕前夜，乘著馴鹿拉的雪橇到來，他從煙囪爬進屋內，留下給孩子們的禮物，並吃掉孩子們為他留下的食物。聖誕季期間，在美國和英國的很多超市裏，都有小孩可以向其要禮物的「聖誕老人」出現。現今， 在許多國家裡，聖誕節前夕，孩子們會準備好空的容器，或在壁爐上懸掛聖誕襪，以便聖誕老人可以裝進一些小禮物，如玩具或糖果等。聖誕節（Christmas）的日期是每年12月25日。天主教教徒會在12月24日的平安夜（Christmas Eve），舉行子夜彌撒，慶祝耶穌的誕生。基督教徒會舉辦聖誕感恩禮拜，慶祝這個重要的節日。聖誕節（Christmas），又稱耶誕節，起源與基督教有關，主要是基督教紀念，和慶祝耶穌的誕生。耶穌誕生的故事充滿異象，是因上帝為體恤人們，拯救苦難，而差遣耶穌來到世上。為了紀念與表達對耶穌的敬愛，便開始慶祝聖誕節。聖誕老人(Santa Claus)的傳說，可以追溯到千年前。當時有位樂善好施的紅衣主教叫聖尼古拉，他經常行善，幫助許多貧困家庭。有一次，聖尼古拉遇到了一位即將遭到變賣的貧困女子，他藉由在夜晚時間，爬上他們的屋頂，將帶來的金幣，往煙囪丟進去，這些金幣剛好掉進掛在壁爐旁的襪子裡，從此之後，就逐漸衍生出聖誕老人從煙囪爬進房子，將禮物放在聖誕襪的由來。吃聖誕大餐，是聖誕節的重頭戲，這天是家人親友團聚歡度時光、分享美食的重大日子，象徵著愛和溫馨的聖誕大餐，每年不變。和家人、朋友和情侶間交換禮物，有著分享喜悅的含義，透過精心挑選禮物，傳達更多的關愛和關心。聖誕卡片的故事，可以追溯到19世紀初的英格蘭。當時英國藝術家約翰·赫斯基斯(John Horsley)，設計了一張描繪著歡慶的場景，並附有祝福詞句的聖誕卡片，這被視為聖誕卡片的開端。後來，聖誕卡片的設計變得多元，也成為互相關懷、表達祝福的習俗。 送禮是人與人用來表達心意的一種方式，而禮物是主要關鍵，不需要太貴，也不用很頂級。俗話說：「千里送鵝毛，禮輕情意重。」我們收到禮物時，要抱持著感恩的心，生在福中很幸福！「禮物運動」是從史賓賽．強森博士著作《禮物》得到的靈感，書中年輕人用盡方法，四處探尋，渴望找到老人所說能讓他快樂的「禮物」。直到有一天，年輕人決定暫時放下這一切，不再汲汲營營地盲目追尋，他才赫然發現，那份禮物，原來一直就在他的身邊，就在當下。我們每一天，都可以得到禮物，也可以當個送禮物的人。一句問候、一句讚美、一句關心的話語，都可以是禮物，在簡單的語言之間，送禮物的動作已經完成了。面對挫折、挑戰與困境，也只需要換個心境，抱持著「一切都是好極了」的心態，以積極的思路，去解決問題，逆境也是一份禮物。只要我們的眼睛，都看見美好的、能給生命帶來光明快樂的東西。每一天，我們都會從「聖誕老人」手中，得到最美好的禮物。      Santa Claus is a legendary figure originating in Western Christian culture who is said to bring gifts during the late evening and overnight hours on Christmas Eve. Santa Claus is generally depicted as a portly, jolly, white-bearded man, often with spectacles, wearing a red coat with white fur collar, and a red hat trimmed with white fur, carrying a bag full of gifts for children. He is popularly associated with a deep, hearty laugh. Santa Claus strives to find a way to bring joy into the lives of all children all over the world, and eventually invents toys for them. Santa Claus is really the cultural icon who is all about peace, joy, giving, and caring for people. Children sometimes write letters to Santa Claus, with a wish list of presents that they wish to receive. Right now, writing letters to Santa Claus has the educational benefits of promoting literacy, computer literacy, and e-mail literacy. A letter to Santa is often a child’s first experience of correspondence. Santa Claus is an iconic figure in popular culture that has been celebrated for generations. He is best known for delivering gifts to children on Christmas Eve, often coming down chimneys and leaving presents in stockings hung by the fireplace. He is associated with joy, generosity and kindness and symbolizes the spirit of giving. Santa Claus is also seen as a symbol of hope, which makes him more important during times of difficulty or distress. He appears in Christmas stories as an example of how to remain positive and generous despite adversity. Santa Claus reminds us that it is possible to make miracles happen if we come together and put our faith in the spirit of goodwill and kindness. In today’s modern world, Santa Claus has become a symbol of Christmas cheer and family fun, bringing joy to children and adults alike. Every year, children still write to Santa Claus sharing their Christmas wishes and dreams. These letters are filled with joy and optimism, and they serve as a reminder of the magic that Santa Claus brings to Christmas. Santa Claus, now, is an iconic and beloved figure that has become an important part of Christmas traditions around the world. His image has been embraced with his superb spirit to evoke feelings of peace, hope, joy and generosity in people of all ages and backgrounds. Powered by Firstory Hosting

Empathy 同理心      台灣的花蓮縣，正經歷著令人難以承受的天災，連續幾天的濕、冷，再加上地震，為人們的身、心，帶來極度的不安穩，威脅到生命最基本的「安全」需求。當我們聽到有人大聲疾呼：發揮同理心、人溺己溺、人飢己飢等訴求時，我們似乎可以感受到正在寒凍中受苦的人，急需我們的關心與幫助。哲學家說：「在烏托邦裡，不存在同理心」，是的，同理心的原意是 to suffer with，不只是理解他人的感覺，而且還要與他人產生連結，經歷他人的傷痛，然後，才有能力給出關懷。在日常生活裡，同理心，簡單地說，就是跟他人一起感受(to feeling with)，與他人產生連結，拉近人與人之間的距離。通常，要同理跟我們親近的人，是比要同理陌生人來的容易，也就是說，我們更容易同理相同性別、類似遭遇，或身處相同環境的人。這樣的相似性，讓我們較容易設身處地站在對方的角度看事情，從對方的角度，來體會對方的感受。人們常說，「設身處地」，就是要透過耐心的陪伴與傾聽，真正聽見、明白他人的處境，瞭解他人的傷痛。      每個人都有同理別人的能力，但是，能否將同理心付諸行動、徹底執行，則取決於幾個面向：我們有多少資源（時間）、對方是誰，陌生人還是家人、朋友，及我們心裡認為的同理心的意義和價值。其實，只要有心，同理很簡單。首先，我們必須放慢步伐，試著與他人靠近，開啟連結；其次，透過陪伴與傾聽，設身處地的感受他人的狀態與情緒；最後，經由適當的語言，與非語言的方式，回饋給對方，讓他人體會到我們的意願與陪伴。     同理心其實並不是一件容易的事，同理心是需要訓練的，它是一種能力。很多人在成長的過程中，並沒有受到這樣的訓練，導致他想要同理別人，也不知道該怎麼做，尤其是小孩子。小孩子一向都是自我中心的，他們都是希望別人配合他，而不可能去配合別人的。然而，我們要如何訓練同理心呢？同理心的本質是「換位思考」，也就是設身處地的為別人著想，把自己放進別人的情境裡，去思考別人可能遭受到的感受。如果我是他，我處在那樣的位置和處境，我會有什麼感覺呢？人性是共通的，我們會有什麼想法，別人也會，思想是相通的。同理，不是同情，人同此心，心同此理，我們同的是道理，而不是情感，所以同情跟同理，是須分開的。當我們站在對方的位置，去體會他，一起感受時，就是同理心的換位。然後，我們要把事情，放在第三者的視角，來發現他人的問題，內心的流程，與事件的結構。我們要用概括性、俯瞰式的角度來瞭解，才能引出對方不但聽得懂，又能找到解套的對談。      In a world of such violence, hatred and brutality as the present one, we are all aware of what is going on in the world: the competition, the ambitions and frustrations, the extraordinary brutality, hatred and violence arising from the conflicts between political parties, and among certain countries. There is an extraordinary amount of cruelty in a world where a small group of people takes charge of millions of others, and directs their lives through tyranny, such as Mainland China, South Korea, Russia and Iran, etc. There is not a matter that we can be lightly dismissed. We need to seek security, and perform certain functions to save the world. Empathy helps us see things from other persons’ perspectives, sympathize with their emotions, and build stronger relationships with others. Empathy is the ability to see things from others’ perspectives and feel their emotions. Putting ourselves in other persons’ shoes would lead us to act with compassion and improve the situations. Empathy isn’t just about hardships. When our children are excited about something, we feel their joy. When our friends are laughing at jokes, we experience their amusement. Empathy allows us to deepen our relationships as we connect with our friends’ and loved ones’ thoughts and feelings, and they connect with ours, too. Empathy can also extend to people we don’t know as well. If we see someone sitting alone at a party, for example, we might empathize with his/her loneliness and chat with him/her. If we see images of other people suffering on the other side of the world, we might be moved to donate resources to alleviate their suffering. On the other hand, when we see a crowd roaring with joy on TV, we, too, have our high spirits. Their delight becomes our delight. Nevertheless, unlike empathy, sympathy doesn’t involve sharing what someone else feels. When we’re sympathetic, we care about the person’s problem or misfortune and feel sorry for his/her suffering, but we don’t fully feel his/her pain. Sympathy is more of a feeling of pity for the person, while empathy is more a feeling of compassion for them. In this sense, empathy has an important role to play in our life. First, it can strengthen our bonds with the people we interact with. As we try to understand others, we also make them feel heard and understood. They’re then more likely to take the time to empathize with us as well. Because empathy leads to better relationships, it can be a key component to building a more satisfying life. Furthermore, empathy can motivate us to take actions that improve the lives of others. These actions might include anything from donating to a charity to encouraging a friend to seek help for alcohol abuse, and to simply comforting someone with a hug. In social situations, empathy can help us decide on the wisest course of action. Once we have a better understanding of someone else’s perspectives, it’s easier to move on to proposing the compromises. On the other hand, if we have low empathy, we might have a lack of patience when dealing with people who are in distress. In this sense, we never seem to have the time to listen to other people’s perspectives or reflect on their emotional states. Moreover, being empathetic requires us to make ourselves vulnerable. This demands us to reflect on our own emotional states as well as to practice being open with others. When we communicate intense emotions, including shame, jealousy, and grief with others, other people will be more willing to open up to us in return. People are more likely to feel empathy toward people who are similar to them. We don’t necessarily have to agree with every perspective we come across. However, taking the time to simply listen with an open mind can help us see the humanity in people with different backgrounds or views. As we engage with people of different backgrounds, we’ll likely find that many of our earlier notions of them were inaccurate. It’s okay to admit to being wrong. It’s also true that building empathy is a way to expand our social circle and boost our happiness. Empathy really has a ripple effect. As we take the time to truly listen to others, we’re making it easier for them to trust, comfort, and empathize with us and even more people. Powered by Firstory Hosting

Self-presentation and Self-achievement 自我表現與自我成就 We all want others to see us as confident, competent, and likeable. In fact, we make dozens of decisions every day to get people to see us as we want to be seen. Success requires interacting with other people. We can’t control the other side of those interactions. But we can think about how the other persons might see us and make choices about what we want to convey.  Self-presentation is any behavior or action made with the intention to influence or change how other people see us. Anytime, we’re trying to get people to think of us a certain way. It’s an act of self-presentation. Generally speaking, we work to present ourselves as favorably as possible. We want to make sure that we show up in a way that not only makes us look good, but also makes us feel good about ourselves. To some extent, every aspect of our lives depends on successful self-presentation. For example, we do want our families to feel that we are worthy of attention and love. We present ourselves as studious and responsible to our teachers at school. We want to be fun and interesting at a party, and to be confident at networking events. In order to achieve the results that we want, it often requires that we behave a certain way. That is, we do certain behaviors that are desirable in certain situations. In this sense, matching our behavior to the circumstances enhances us to connect to others, and attune to the needs and feelings of others. According, we might feel surprised when people don’t present themselves in a way that is consistent with the demands of their roles. For instance, in the classroom, if we are the presenters who are responsible for explaining the main ideas of the handout to students, we cannot only read the passages without any further interpretations. Perhaps, we are shy and get nervous in front of people, or we just don’t fully prepare to speak up. Nevertheless, that is not the enough reason. As a result, we can see that teachers and students are very disappointed with us. In this situation, we hardly accomplish our duties completely. Because we spend so much time with other people in society, and our success largely depends on what they think of us, successful self-presentation is one of the most important factors when we interact with others. Some people are particularly concerned about creating a good impression before others. Therefore, we have to provide evidences that we are the best persons in every aspect. At its heart, self-presentation requires a high-level self-awareness and empathy. In order to make sure that we’re showing up as our best in every circumstance, we have to be aware of our own motivations as well as what would make the biggest differences to others. Again, take presenters in the classroom as an example. To carry out the best self-presentation, first of all, we need to know well for our roles to have the oral presentation. We read over the handout in detail, and distribute the content of the handout to group members. Secondly, we discuss how to teach and point out key elements of the handout with group members. We, then, get feedback and suggestions from other group members. Thirdly, we ask all the members to brainstorm together for creating the review sheet according to the handout. We, next, share our viewpoints with one another. At last, we should rehearse all the oral presentations in English in order that we can present the best teaching materials in class. Anyway, self-presentation is defined as the way we try to show off in front of others, but it’s just as much about how we would see ourselves, too. Consciously working to make sure that others could see the very best of us is a wonderful way to develop into the persons we want to be. Furthermore, self-achievement is also very important for students in the classroom. When students focus better on their own progress, they, thereby, develop a stronger sense of achievement. Achievement, in positive psychology, is about more than getting top marks in class. When students can see their own progress in learning, and mastering a subject or skill, they will feel a sense of achievement. Self-achievement for students requires clearly defined objectives, goals and expectations. Once, students, themselves, have a strong understanding of the goals to complete, they, just then, acknowledge and build self-achievement. Studies have shown that feeling a sense of accomplishment is an important element in developing positive wellbeing for students. Research also points out that people with a strong sense of purpose, persistence and accomplishment perform better at school and work. For some students, submitting assignments on time, or showing up to every class might be important markers of progress and their achievement of a goal. We do appreciate them to have their self-achievement. Self-achievement really helps students to have confidence in their school lives. Therefore, the importance of self-presentation and self-achievement cannot be overemphasized. All in all, self-presentation brings self-achievement, and self-achievement approaches toward success. Thus, we, including teachers and students, have to recognize our earnest efforts to accomplish things in our lives, and be proud of what we are doing with our whole hearts. Powered by Firstory Hosting

Great Things Don’t Come Easy Life is not always easy. We have to work hard to get what we want. There will be times when we will feel down, and think that there is no hope for our future. And, life is not all about the ups, there are downs, too. It’s during these difficult times to remind us that the only way to get what we want in life is through hard work and dedication. It takes perseverance, self-discipline, and hard work to achieve success. The best way to learn is to have a belief in ourselves. Some of the most successful people in the world had to overcome many obstacles on their ways to success. They never gave up, they never backed down, and they always believed in themselves. Belief is one of the main principles we should live by to lead a worthwhile life. We should never give up on our dreams, stay persistent in life and business, and always believe that good things don’t come easy. Anyway, failure is not the end of the world. It is an opportunity for growth, learning, and improvement. Some people may view failure as a negative thing, but it can also be seen as a positive thing. Failure can lead to new ideas and opportunities that we never would have thought of before. We need to take baby steps slowly toward success. The time we wish for something might be out of our reach. Albert Einstein had been working on a theory for the relationship between space and time for years, but had made little progress. He was again stumped, so he decided to get some fresh air, and hopped on his bike for an excursion through the quaint streets of Bern, Switzerland. When he gazed at the clock tower, he had a sudden moment of clarity. Time can beat at different rates through the universe. It all depended on how fast we moved. There is a belief that we are fortunate to have these sudden realizations and attribute our breakthroughs to them, but are they really so sudden? The answer is not. In fact, it is not so much a sudden moment of insight, but rather takes a long time from experiences. Slow leads to progress, success, and breakthroughs. With patience, discipline, and hard work, eventually, we’ll stumble upon a breakthrough. All good things take time. Besides, getting distracted isn’t a bad thing, as we saw from Albert Einstein. Sometimes, we enjoy, take breaks, and let things happen organically because, very often, it is in these unsuspecting activities that our minds truly open up. It doesn’t matter if we do a little or a lot on a daily basis. The only measurement is that we are getting closer to our dreams every day. We might take a break and let the subconscious take over for a while. Then, slow and steady wins the race. “I walk slowly, but I never walk backward,” Abraham Lincoln. Ultimately, no matter how small or slow it feels, little efforts add up far quicker than we’d realize. The road to success starts within a heart that wants to be the best at something–a heart, mind, and soul that does not want to be ordinary, but extraordinary. Winners never look for the easy way out. They simply look at the impossible, and say to themselves to set their hearts upon lofty dreams, and chase after them with their whole hearts. The truth is that the road to success is narrow, and many will miss it because the road to failure is broad and easy. Any ordinary person can stay ordinary, but those who work hard, doing a daily routine, become extraordinary people. If we want to reflect a spirit of excellence in everything we do, hard work should become the second nature to us. Hard work is one element which helps us achieve our greatest dreams. A farmer goes out and works hard to plant his crop. He waters it, weeds it, and even fertilizes his field. His hard work will pay off at harvest time. If the farmer did not water, weed, and fertilize his crop, it would yield very little. Similarly, if the athlete will not plant a crop of hard work, he, too, will yield nothing for his effort. All of these take time. The farmers, as well as the athletes, earn great rewards from their continual efforts. Again, great things don’t come easy. Time and hard work will prove them, and we believe in ourselves fully.  Powered by Firstory Hosting

上台表演這件事     「好棒喔～下星期五就要表演了，我終於要把這件事完成了。」「上台表演會有一點壓力，對吧？」「不只一點，還蠻多的呢！」「妳會不喜歡嗎？」「不會啊！我很期待。」小朋友的對話，讓我們學跳舞的成人，真的想了很多。每一次去跳舞，我們成人都得花上大半的時間練舞；每一次，我們都是一直練習、一直練習，但是，我們從來就不敢站上舞台，真正表演。     上台表演這件事，需要有上台的慾望、表演的渴望、持之以恆的耐性與毅力，還要有責任心。其實，跳舞是必須承受一點小小的壓力的，我們是要被訓練，站在舞台上，獲得台下觀眾的熱烈掌聲的。但是，身為成人的我們，哪有勇氣上台啊！勇氣是對自己的要求與負責，勇氣也是對自己學習的信心。但是，是否愛跳舞的業餘成人們，沒有勇氣，沒有信心呢？     其實，上台表演的意義，是呈現自己學習的成果，並藉此與他人分享。上台表演，真的不必像上戰場一樣，那麼嚴肅，那麼可怕。相反地，多一點上台表演的機會，會累積「戰力」，我們不僅可以磨練技巧，訓練膽量，克服緊張，更能與人合作、互動，培養默契，在排練和演出的過程中，學習表現自己與成全別人。也就是說，上台表演，不只是個人的活動，也是學生與老師、學員與朋友之間相處的機會。有過上台經驗的人都知道，在台前台後所獲得的友誼、建立的態度、增進的技術、和通過的考驗，是對自己的學習與生活，受益無窮的。       另一方面，上台表演，也是學習成果的檢視。舞台上，表現好的一面，是我們事前點滴努力的成果；而表現未能盡善盡美的地方，則是我們要繼續努力的目標。我們如能把握每一次認識自己、結交朋友的機會，便能為自己創造更多進步的空間。學習是一條漫長的道路，而上台表演，是鼓勵自己不斷努力、克服困難、共融共好的過程，且亦可留下無以磨滅的深刻回憶。每次看到那些穿著漂亮衣服，上台跳舞的舞者，我們都好羨慕。她們微笑地面對觀眾，抬頭挺胸，笑容可掬，好不甜美，就算有舞步不對，觀眾也不會因為她們的失誤而取笑啊！所以，只要站在台上，我們就是舞台上的主人，就是要給今天在場的每位貴賓，一個舒服的演出饗宴。我們一定要有自信的微笑與舉止，走路不疾不徐，敬禮，並微笑地注視台下的觀眾，謝謝他們願意空出時間，前來鼓掌。因此，在我們努力練習，到了上台表演完後的那一刻時，請放自己一馬，抬頭挺胸，用自信的眼神，和誠摯地微笑，告訴觀眾：「這段時間，我們很努力準備了，感謝大家來看我們的成果發表，謝謝大家的掌聲。」相信，上台表演這件事，是我們對站在舞台上的負責，也是我們對在場的觀眾，表達我們深深地、滿滿的誠意的演出。 Powered by Firstory Hosting

信念與預期Thoughts and Predictions       人類天生渴望認同和讚美。當我們對別人懷有期望，他們通常會因此而更努力的達到這個期望，以獲得認可，進而強化自我價值感。因此，不管我們或別人，若能抱持正面的期望和讚美，將會促使我們與他人更有動力，進而提升生活與工作效能。這就是「信則有、不信則無」。       畢馬龍效應也叫「自我應驗預言」，源於古希臘神話的一位雕塑家畢馬龍，他依據自己心目中女神的模樣，雕刻出他覺得世界上最美的女人，但因為實在太美了，他每天凝望著雕像，最後情不自禁的愛上自己雕刻出來的雕像，他開始日夜祈求，希望愛神維納斯能讓雕像成為他的妻子，最後，愛神深受他的真誠感動，於是賜與雕像生命，使她活了過來，兩人從此結為夫妻。於是，人們便將由期望產生實際效果的現象，稱為「畢馬龍效應」。心理學家認為，這是我們的預期心理，所能達到的心想事成。也就是說，我們要在腦海裡，時時有很多正向的信念，然後，真誠熱情的祈求，一定會讓我們夢想成真的。       The Pygmalion effect gets its name from the Greek myth of Pygmalion. Pygmalion was a sculptor who carved a statue of a beautiful woman he later fell in love with. He wished that he could find a woman as beautiful as his sculpture to marry. Aphrodite, the goddess of love, granted his wish and transformed his sculpture into a living, breathing woman. Just as Pygmalion’s fixation on the sculpture allowed it to come to life, our focus on an expectation even can impact the outcome in a given situation. The Pygmalion effect is a psychological phenomenon that describes how others’ positive expectations of us can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy, improving our performance. The Pygmalion effect happens when we expect success from someone else. We are likely to give him/her greater support in order to help him/her achieve that success. Similarly, if we believe someone has high expectations of us, we will work harder to meet those expectations. Expectations act as a prophecy because they become motivators for hard work. According to the Pygmalion effect, higher expectations lead to higher performance. Therefore, this concept suggests that when someone believes in us and expects us to succeed, we are more likely to work harder, overcome obstacles, and achieve our goals. If we constantly doubt our abilities and hold low expectations of what we can achieve, our beliefs can hinder our progress, and prevent us from fulfilling our potential. But, if we cultivate a positive mindset and set high and achievable expectations, they can really motivate our behaviors to reach those lofty expectations. In other words, we only need to make sure that we fully believe in the potential of our predictions and abilities. Researchers have conducted numerous studies to explore the Pygmalion Effect in various settings, such as education, workplace, and athletics. For instance, research in the field of education shows that when teachers hold positive expectations for their students, they provide them with additional support and encouragement, and consequently, the students are more likely to thrive academically. Similarly, managers who have high expectations of their employees and provide them with opportunities for growth and development often witness improved performance and job satisfaction. The Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) who wrote the play Pygmalion (1913), and later in 1964, adapted to be American musical comedy-drama film My Fair Lady (《窈窕淑女》) proves to be a successful example of the Pygmalion Effect. Summary of the story: Two old gentlemen meet in the rain one night at Covent Garden. Professor Higgins is a scientist of phonetics, and Colonel Pickering is a linguist of Indian dialects. Professor Higgins bets that, with his knowledge of phonetics, in a matter of months, he will be able to transform the cockney speaking Covent Garden flower girl, Eliza Doolittle, into a woman as poised and well-spoken as a duchess. The next morning, the girl appears at Higgins’ laboratory on Wimpole Street. For a number of months, Higgins trains Eliza to speak properly. Two trials for Eliza follow. The first one occurs at Higgins’ mother’s home, where Eliza is introduced to the Freddy family. The son Freddy is very attracted to Eliza because he thinks she is a real lady. The second trial, which takes place some months later at an ambassador’s party, is a resounding success. She really behaves that she is a perfect, elegant lady in London high society. Although the Pygmalion effect is subconscious, it demonstrates that others’ expectations can greatly influence our performance. When someone thinks highly of us, we would work hard to maintain that reputation. In this way, the Pygmalion effect does act like a self-fulfilling prophecy because our beliefs and thoughts, definitely, encourage us to take the necessary steps to meet others’ high expectations. We are much likely to push ourselves harder because we believe that we can achieve success, too. Once we understand how expectations impact the behavior of both ourselves and others, we will properly mediate those expectations for the best possible outcomes. Then, how can we use the Pygmalion Effect to improve our confidence and performance? 1.    Set high expectations, but not too high. When we set high expectations, we need to have some stretch, but, at the same time, be realistic. 2.    Use confident language. We can express our confidence when we start thinking that we can do things. We have to believe in ourselves all the time. 3.    Celebrate achievements. “Success breeds success.” When we take the time to celebrate our achievements, it not only reinforces the accomplishments and builds our confidence, but also motivates others to want more of that success. 4.    Promote positive gatherings. We can set a positive example by using meeting time to compliment and build the confidence of our friends. During the meetings, we can share positive accomplishments they are proud of. We can also encourage our friends to compliment and express appreciation to others. 「天生我材必有用」，在浩瀚的宇宙中，我們來到這個世上，都佔有一個獨特的位置，其中，我們有長處與優點，是別人無法取代的。我們每個人都有與生俱來的優勢，經由後天的學習，轉化與加工，我們都可以將生活過得有意義，讓自己變得有魅力。我們要用開闊的心，去相信自己和別人的讚賞。自信是發自內心的力量，它無法衡量，但卻可以讓人有勇氣去面對一切挑戰。「鼓勵」也是讓人前進的動力。接受自己和別人的讚賞與鼓勵，就會信心滿滿。好的事情，美的事物，大家都喜歡。我們所呈現的一切，都是內心的信念，「相信我們真的很好」，並常常預期好人好事，都是提升我們繼續成長的重要動能，透過一句句的讚賞與鼓勵，我們真的可以預期未來，將能越來越好。 Powered by Firstory Hosting

善待別人的感動 一位女子剛嫁入門，豈料婆婆凡事皆看她不順眼，不是嫌她飯菜烹調不佳，就是說她洗熨衣物不夠好；常常當面指責她無能，或背後指罵她懶惰，把她說得一無是處。媳婦知道婆婆脾氣不好，不僅不敢頂嘴一句，更加小心翼翼整理家務，從早忙到晚，總是逆來順受，而婆婆卻仍是百般刁難她。鄰人看不過去，忍不住對女子說：「你婆婆既然如此狠心待你，你何不回敬她幾句氣話，讓她氣死算了。」女子聞言，不敢苟同，反而嚴肅地說：「我婆婆待我非常好，是我自己晨昏未盡孝道之責，亦以此深感慚愧不已！今後，請不要再說這些話了；你應該教導我，要如何更孝順婆婆才是。」在門外的婆婆，無意間聽見兩人對話，方知媳婦是如此難得，待鄰人離去後，才進門對媳婦說：「過去是我錯怪你了，請原諒我過去對你的態度......。」說完，婆媳倆抱頭痛哭，一切陰霾，猶如冰釋。 另有一位婆婆，不但心胸寬闊，而且非常慈祥；她的媳婦卻很不孝，忤逆之至。她不以有一惡媳而埋怨、憤怒，還常對左鄰右舍說：「我家媳婦不但賢慧，而且乖巧，早上我一起來，她就將洗臉水、牙刷、毛巾等，一切盥洗的東西，端到面前；三餐也料理得很好，家中整理得既乾淨又整齊；晚上睡覺前，床鋪、棉被都鋪整得非常好......，要說孝媳，非我家媳婦莫屬。」由於她逢人就說，因此，全鄉鎮的人都知道她家有一孝媳。有一天，縣老爺要選拔模範媳婦，聽從傳聞，選中了這家的媳婦。當這位媳婦前往領獎，被大大褒揚後，回家途中，不禁愈想愈慚愧。她流著懺悔的眼淚，跪在婆婆面前，痛哭不已，請求原諒。自此以後，一改以往作為，成為名副其實的孝媳。 婆媳關係，從古至今，不只是家庭問題的主因，也是社會問題的所在。彼此來自不同的生長背景，擁有不同的價值觀，要相處在一起，是多麼不容易！最好是雙方都能以誠相待，若不能相互遷就、體諒，則明理的一方，需要秉持正知見的善解心，去包容寬諒。加倍善待別人的感動，獲利的，永遠是自己，創造雙贏。      身而為人的角色，不是為「利己」而活，而是必須為「服務別人」而活。只要內心常想「我能為別人做什麼？」，自然會被讚許，創造雙贏。一個人只要有心，想要為他人做事，都會問自己，我能為身邊的人做什麼？我能為部門做些什麼？我能為主管或同事做什麼？我能為家人或朋友做什麼？即使遇見不認識的人，也能升起「利他」之心。譬如搭高鐵，下車前整理座位垃圾，讓之後的乘客，感到舒適方便；到餐廳用完餐，把桌面碗盤、廚餘，簡單清理，讓服務人員或清潔阿姨，輕鬆一點；此外，在辦公室，上完廁所，或使用茶水間，順手幫忙清理洗手台水漬或雜物，讓後面使用的同事，感到清潔舒適。人活著，要好好善待別人，舉凡孝敬父母、禮敬師長、廣結善緣、善解人意、隨手助人，或笑臉迎人等態度，皆是對別人好，亦是對自己好的生活哲學。      事物總是相對存在的，任何事物，都有它好的一面，也有它不好的一面，關鍵是，要看人怎樣去對待，怎樣去取捨。比如說，在人性的陋習中，有好勝心、嫉妒心、虛榮心、表現欲、自私、自卑等。所以，勇敢是一種美德，但用錯了地方，就是好勝，甚至是愚蠢。有上進心，是一件好事，對於別人的長處，我們會努力的效法。但是，也有人努力的企圖將別人拉下來，嫉妒他們。人都喜歡聽到別人稱讚自己，卻不知忠言逆耳，良藥苦口。這個世界，不僅需要好人，更需要有能力的好人，他們是有智慧，有品德，能善待他人的好人。學會做好人，是一種智慧，而一個人如能修養好品德，不但可善待他人，更能愛護自己。     「種瓜得瓜，種豆得豆」。付出什麼，就收穫什麼。哲人說：「善待別人，就是善待自己。你給世界一個微笑，世界會回報你許多微笑。」要善待別人，不一定需要慷慨的施捨，和巨大的投入。重要的是，我們要學會傾聽，學會理解，學會讚美，學會忠告，學會感恩，學會體貼，學會表達自己的愛心。有時，一個在不經意間，善意的舉動，就能在別人的心中，灑下一片溫暖的陽光。聖嚴法師說「生命的意義在服務，生活的價值在奉獻」。給予的人，才是真正快樂的人。做善事、幫助別人，受益最多的是自己，做好事，更能使自己心情愉快、遠離病痛。加倍善待別人的感動，永遠創造雙贏。感動的時刻，如此刻骨銘心，只要「相信美好」，就會「遇見美好」。感動是有熱有光，並能感染別人的，感動讓我們懂得感恩、惜福。感動帶來正能量，讓我們永遠有更好、更新的未來。 Powered by Firstory Hosting

Keeping Balance Maintaining a balanced life is becoming increasingly more important for our personal health and well-being in a fast-paced, modern world. We live in a world full of different beliefs and opinions, so one person’s answer to one question could be completely different to the other person. The Internet, particularly social media, advertises all sorts of information on exercise and nutrition. If we can find a sport or training programs we enjoy, we need to stick to it. Consistency helps us lead to the most positive impact on our life balance. Everyone’s bodies and minds respond in different ways; the most important thing is that we are getting the right balance. In other words, it’s crucial that we find the balance that we enjoy. Being healthy doesn’t happen overnight, but each little change we make is a step in the right direction. We should keep it simple, and be kind to ourselves. Everyone responds to exercise and diet differently, however, there are a number of steps we can take that are sure to help us keep a great balanced lifestyle. • Take care and look after ourselves: In order to achieve a balanced lifestyle, we must make sure we are healthy. Our body needs plenty of rest, exercise and healthy food. It’s important to take some time out from a busy day to enjoy activities and unwind by reading or meditating. • Be organized: It’s important to keep a clear plan in advance, allowing time for our tasks and making room for activities we enjoy. Being organized can help reduce stress and improve our life balance. • Set goals: Achieving goals can help us assist with gaining a positive mindset. Our goals can cover anything from our jobs, our finances or our fitness goals. • Eat right: Our body needs healthy foods and nutrients to create new cells, clean toxins and function properly. Ensuring we eat right can help improve our diet and life balance. • Improve our mood: It’s not just exercise that can lead to improvement of our mood. Healthy habits, such as social connections, can, too, keep the mind active. No one is born with the ability to ride a skateboard, surf or even stand on their tiptoes. Unlike other mammals, human beings have no balance at birth, and no capacity to walk or even stand. As we get older, we may notice that some people are really good at keeping their balance. They can dance well, jump ropes and do somersaults. But they were not born with this ability. Instead, it takes time and practice. Balance is a skill. The more we practice, the better we become. As we know, babies are born nearsighted, and able to see only about 10 to 12 inches away. No wonder, for many people, walking in the dark means risking a fall because the brain is receiving so little visual information about the environment. Besides, when babies try to stand, their brains would process the signals to their feet, legs and hands in order to help them balance. But, yet, there are still some gestures for babies to lose their balance. Therefore, we all need to learn the skills and practice more to keep balance. As people get older, their balance often decline due to age-related changes to their muscle and vision, as well as other causes. This increases their risk of falling. In fact, falls are a leading cause of physical injuries for adults of over 65 years old. Nowadays, people not only should work on balance and flexibility, but also have to maintain and protect their mental health. More and more, we are hearing high-profile (知名度高的) people talk about the mind-body connection, or how mental health issues affect their physical health.      We do have to maintain the balance between our mental and physical health. Actually, our minds and bodies are interconnected. There are some kinds of things that we might throw our mental and physical health connection off-balance. For example, people living in a stressful environment have a higher likelihood of developing cardiac issues, like heart attacks. Others who have respiratory (呼吸系統) issues tend to have more anxiety and pressure. Chronic illness, injuries, financial stress, and bad relationships all let us reach the scales of the off-balance zone. Here are some of the warning signs that our mental-physical connection can be unbalanced: 1.    Forgetting birthdays, anniversaries or important appointments 2.    Not being able to finish tasks 3.    Becoming easily distracted 4.    Not finding enjoyment in things we usually like 5.    Difficulty eating Getting stuck in negative thoughts over stressful situations also impacts our physical health. We may recognize these symptoms, like headaches, when mental burdens begin to feel like physical weights. Being able to set negativity aside and to keep moving forward is an important skill for a person’s both mental and physical health. There are a few things that we can still take away any imbalance. These include: 1.    Get moving for, at least, half an hour a day, five days a week. This could be walking, biking, swimming or any physical activity. 2.    If we want to drink alcohol, we keep the consumption moderate. 3.    Eat foods that are good for us, and avoid food with too much caffeine. 4.    Practice some kinds of mindfulness for 10 minutes each day. Furthermore, good relationships are important for our mental wellbeing. They can: 1.    Help us build a sense of belonging and self-worth. 2.    Give us an opportunity to share positive experiences. 3.    Provide emotional support and allow us to support others. Except for that, research shows that learning new skills improve our mental wellbeing, too. When we learn new things, we start to connect with others, and perform acts of giving and kindness. We then create positive feelings and a sense of reward. We might want to volunteer in our local community, such as helping at a school, hospital or care home, and express gratitude to our friends or someone they have done for us. We, thus, are willing to spend time with friends or relatives who need support or company. Then, we learn to pay more attention to the present moment, including our thoughts and feelings, our bodies and the world around us.  We practice mindfulness more, and are, much easier, able to positively change the way we feel about life and face the challenges before us. Powered by Firstory Hosting

心動不如行動       俗話說：「心動不如行動，沒有行動，就沒有成功。」沒錯！與其經常立志，不如天天努力。所有行動的來源，是起心動念，成敗來自行動。心動和成功，只有一步之遙，而關鍵在於我們是否懂得行動，那麼，何不腳踏實地，從現在做起……？萬事始於心動，成於行動，行動是成功的階梯，目標越準，行動越快，成就就越大。心動是想法，有想法，才能成大業。明確目標、計劃和方法，運用得當，就是成就大事的基礎。只有行動，才能將心動的想法，轉變為現實，進而實現自己的宏偉的目標和理想。 　    常常，我們擁有心動的夢想，就不敢怠慢。越大的夢想，我們就越焦慮，越有壓力，得失心越重，食寢難安，所以，平凡就好。但是，如有夢想，怎麼辦呢？光說不練，是沒有用的，只有靠自己的行動，才能去實現夢想。終日所思，不如須臾之所學。我們終日所思、所慮，一定要馬上投到行動中去做。因為，只有行動，才能真正達到目的。       「語言是花苞，行動才是果實。」我們總是把心動掛在嘴巴，但卻不對心動實施行動，這是我們最大的敗筆。的確！許多事情，光是想，是不會成功的，重要的是，要付出努力。世界有名的窈窕淑女—奧黛麗．赫本，從小熱愛芭蕾，但因家境窮困，而無法學習，但她卻不放棄，努力練跳，最後，成為鼎鼎大名的國際巨星。也許，我們總是只會心動，但如果不行動，就永遠不能成功。一件有意義的事，應該馬上動身。只要相信自己，永不放棄，我們的夢想，就不是空想！行動是大於心動的。但是，儘管行動了，最後仍失敗，怎麼辦？其實，我們也不要放棄，至少我們奮鬥過了。凡走過的，都會留下痕跡，都是經驗，都刻骨銘心啊！       「做事要從心流露，也就是要從感動出發。」受到美國資本主義的影響，我們所謂的成功學，代表金錢、名聲、權力、豪宅及名車等，但其實，這是一種被催眠的價值觀。這些東西都與生命無關，人死後，能夠留下來的，只有精神。如果人們都只去追求那些與生命無關的東西，我們就找不到熱情，壓力也越來越大，生命漸漸耗竭，到最後，身心俱疲。心靈承受不了壓力時，人們會求助於心理醫師，但現代心理學無法使人們找到熱情，醫師也只有開藥給病人吃，但是，吃藥是不可能解決精神問題的。讓生命豐富的方法，是東方古老的經典：《道德經》。《道德經》中的「道」，意指生命的過程跟循環，一顆種子從發芽、生根、茁壯、開花、結果，到最後又回到種子的狀態。「德」是表示實踐，直接從心裡流露。        有感動，才有熱情，才會行動。我們做事，要從心流露，從感動出發。每一刻，我們都投入這此時此刻的感動，然後，去完成它。有了感動以後，我們就可以找到熱情。無條件的熱愛，可化成日日夜夜的行動，讓我們每天都發光發熱。現代人，在生活中的感動片刻太少，或是，有感動卻不去完成，我們就會失去生活的品質和幸福。感動是一種修煉，投入的這一刻，就會有感動。所謂投入，不一定是流淚、激動，而是專注地面對這一刻的人事物，拿掉過去、未來的想法，此刻從心流露。然後，每一天，我們都有一點點的成長，去實踐感動，找到熱情。一個人如果找到他真正的感動，就會投入工作，像做藝術品一樣，帶有一種動人的氛圍，及精神的感染力，我們也會被他投入工作的身影所感動。賈伯斯就是找到真正工作的例子，他對工作的熱情，讓他發光發熱，感染與他共事的人們。賈伯斯曾說：「生命短暫，不要浪費時間，活在別人的陰影裡；不要被教條所惑，盲從教條，等於活在別人的思考中；不要讓他人的噪音，壓過自己的心聲。最重要的是，要有勇氣，跟著自己的內心與直覺。求知若渴，虛心若愚。」我們的生命，歸屬於天命，有跡可循，最明顯的，就是自由與踏實的感受。當我們從事自己熱愛又擅長的工作時，我們才能活出真實的自己。舞蹈家瑪莎．葛蘭姆(Martha Graham)說：「一個人真正開始跳舞之前，要花十年的時間，學習基本功；真正的創意，需要技巧、紀律和訓練。唯有不斷地訓練，才能達到最佳狀態。」我們因有心動，有熱情，才有行動，再加上訓練，假以時日，就會成功。 Powered by Firstory Hosting

認真負責 在這個世界上，我們每個人都有不同的優點或專長，但卻也很難找到十全十美的人，原因是，每一個人，難免都有一點點缺點。不過，只要我們全心全力的為事情付出，即使做得不盡完美，但我們已經無私地奉獻了自己，盡力完成事情了，又有什麼好埋怨的呢？只要肯努力認真，負責盡職，就是最美的，最值得令人尊敬的。在這個社會上，有小部分的人，或許不夠完美，沒有天資聰穎或表現傑出，但是，他們默默地在努力付出，認真負責。也有小部分的人，天生就有一些障礙，但是，他們也無私地為工作、生活付出，日子一樣過得很快樂。可見，即使是有障礙的人，只要肯努力付出、認真打拚，負責盡職，也能散發出生命的光芒的。 想想，每個人，不管年齡大小，無論職位高低，都有自己的舞台，每個人都背負著不同的使命，來到這個世上，在人生的旅途上，在自己的工作崗位上，努力不懈。只要我們用盡心力，做好每一件事，就能事半功倍，得到不同的收穫與報酬。認真負責的態度，是決定一切事情成敗的關鍵，只要我們夠認真，肯負責，我們不僅可以得到別人的肯定，也能讓自己，凡事都能迎刃而解。      認真，是一種自我要求，更是職場人士必備的成功要素。也就是說，無論從事什麼職業，我們都要盡職負責地對待自己的工作。在工作的過程中，盡自己最大的努力，來求得不斷的進步。認真做事的人，即使不能當領導，也會是很好的幕僚。認真做事，必能獲得主管的信賴與付託。在學校，認真讀書，就是最好的學生；認真教書，就是最好的老師。在社會上，認真待人，我們就是最好的朋友。然後，認真生活，我們才有最好的人生。例如，我們對家居環境的整齊清潔，都很認真的處理。對兒女的培育教養，也很認真的樹立典範。對生活不奢侈浪費，胡作非為，凡事都處理得井井有條，規規矩矩。我們如能如此認真，那就是最好的人生了。      認真，是人生成功立業的根本，同樣地，責任也是人生很重要的態度。負責的定義是承擔責任，實現承諾、完成任務，即便有疏失，也能擔當後果、盡力改善。每個人都應該有責任感，對事情負責、對別人負責，更要對自己負責。要掌握負責的定義，成為一個有責任感的人，可以從負責任的態度，開始學習。首先，負責任的態度，是確實執行該做的事、盡力完成每項任務。例如，剛進入公司的麵包師傅，負責的工作，是烘培出一個個美味的麵包。累積經歷與年資後，公司賦予他店長的職位，然後，隨著身份由麵包師傅變成店長，要負責的，就不僅是要做出好吃的麵包而已，更要承擔起營運管理的責任。其次，負責任的態度，是在任務沒有執行妥善時，能勇敢承擔後果，並改善。人生中不可能每件事情都完美，總會遇到結果不理想的時候，也難免會有意外或阻礙。這時候，負責任就是勇敢道歉，立即改善，解決問題，並承擔後果。負責任的人，能力將越來越強。因為，負責盡職，是對待每件事情，都能處理妥當。這樣負責任的態度，不但能督促自己進步，將事情處理得更圓滿，還能讓我們盡最大的努力，力求改善，記取教訓，使下次做到更好。我們為人處事，真的要認真負責啊！ Powered by Firstory Hosting

愛或恐懼       我們的情緒，是愛與恐懼嗎？其實，我們只有一種情緒：是愛，沒有恐懼。那為什麼我們會有愛與恐懼的情緒呢？那是因為，我們在形成當下的事件的想法時，不是基於顯見的真理，而是以想像的真理，來思考當下的事件。       一頭獅子，突然衝出來大吼，我們嚇呆了，因為我們想像有被抓傷的危險。山路轉了個彎，我們駛向路肩，窗外是三千呎深的懸崖，我們嚇壞了，因為我們想像一轉錯彎，就會死掉。觀眾等著我們發表重要的演說，我們不知所措，因為我們想像難得有機會上台，卻可能讓大家失望而被嘲笑。這一切都是基於我們想像的真理，想像這個「不好的」、「不快樂的」、前方有重重「艱難險阻的」，或是其他什麼的。當然，感到恐懼，並不是什麼問題。在面對改變時，我們是可以預期克服恐懼的，沒有什麼好或不好，很正常，我們都是這樣被教導的，好像恐懼是存在，是真實的。       而真實的真理是，沒有恐懼這種東西。我們只有一種情緒，那就是愛。宇宙裡只有一種情緒，一種能量，我們稱為「愛」。除了愛，無它，恐懼是愛的流露。如果我們不愛自己，就不會為自己擔憂，不會害怕任何東西，不會在乎遭遇到任何事，甚至不在乎是否活著。「求生本能」是愛最自然的表現方式。同樣地，如果我們不愛他人，不愛國家，就不會為他人擔憂，為國家擔憂，害怕會發生什麼事。恐懼和愛是同一件事，只是說法不同而已。愛只有一種，恐懼則以各種形式呈現，包括：害怕、孤單、匱乏、自卑、冷漠、傷感、痛苦、焦慮、憂愁、煩惱、惶恐、鬱悶、不悅、憤怒、緊張、退卻、失落、埋怨、怨恨、失望、絕望等。心靈的本質是愛，並且始終處於愛中，這是心靈的自然狀態。愛與恐懼無法並存，心靈感受到恐懼時，表示愛出了問題。當我們感到恐懼的時候，直覺地，我們會試圖控制恐懼，設法消除恐懼所帶來的不舒服感，而且急於找答案、解決問題。然而，當我們依據眼之所見、耳之所聞，及自己的判斷時，我們不但無法解決問題，反而使問題更隱晦，難以化解。例如，家人最能在生活中看到我的各種毛病，也常常指出我的缺失。這些指點與糾正，會讓我覺得受到指責，感到不舒服，而這不舒服的感覺，是恐懼的一種形式。於是，我試圖控制恐懼，希望家人盡快閉嘴。我常用的方式，包括：(1)辯解，認為家人所指情況，並非事實，誤解了我；(2)反擊，指出家人也有類似的毛病，沒資格批評我；(3)憤怒，以生氣喝止家人，要求立刻停止對我的攻擊。上述用來控制恐懼的方式，都是基於眼前的情境，因此，解決問題的方法，就是辯解、反擊、憤怒。然而，事實並非如此，讓我感到恐懼的真正原因，是心靈的罪咎感。如果我不明究理，試圖控制恐懼，直接予以反應，只會強化我的罪咎感與恐懼，使問題愈演愈烈。       那麼，要如何面對恐懼、化解恐懼呢？因為恐懼根本就不存在，我們是無法駕馭恐懼的，唯有愛，駕馭得了恐懼。所以，當我們感到恐懼時，我們要提醒自己， (1)先洞察這就是恐懼；(2)恐懼源於缺乏愛；(3)缺乏愛的唯一方法，就是補充愛。印度哲人說：「如果喜歡花，就去當園丁。做自己喜歡的事時，沒有恐懼，沒有比較，也沒有野心，只有愛 。」焦慮多半是有原因的，不管是擔心明天的考試、拚業績、還是家人生病，推根究底，通常能找出一個或幾個理由，讓我們知道自己在緊張什麼。倘若仔細分析，我們就可羅列一些癥兆出來。比如，我們「怕自己無法在截止日前，完成預定工作」，但這不是真的恐懼，怕發現自己沒有想的那麼好，害怕面對自己，知道自己會失望而感到恐懼，這種情緒叫做「憂慮」。「憂慮」是一種主動的心理狀態，而「恐懼」則是一種被動的生理反應。小時候溺過水的人，學潛水時，第一次下水，整個頭泡在水裡，就開始恐慌，這是真正的恐懼，因為恐懼是「生物的直覺反應」，必然是「被動」的狀況，是「違反趨吉避凶的生理需求」。相信有鬼的人，如果把鬼當成會害人的壞東西，是會對鬼有所恐懼的。至於不相信有鬼的人，是不可能「怕」鬼的。我們怕不怕鬼，基本上，是受到文化環境形塑的。台灣的旅行團，到歐洲旅行，有人在奧地利的旅館「被鬼壓床」，這種形式的鬼魂，在奧地利是完全不存在的。相信有鬼，而且從小住在亞洲的華人，到了奧地利，是看不到歐洲的吸血鬼跟殭屍的。世界上到底有沒有鬼，鬼是長什麼樣子，其實是我們可以透過邏輯思考找到答案的。就像我們對蛇，也有不同的感受，極度怕蛇的人，就算面對的是無毒，而且牙齒已經拔掉的寵物蛇，也會心驚肉顫，但喜歡蛇的山友，即使在荒野中，看到劇毒的蛇，也會饒富興味地在近距離，欣賞造物主創造的美麗作品。      怕鬼的人，必須相信鬼是真的。同樣的，信神的人，需要相信神是真的，怕蛇的人，需要相信蛇會趁著我們半夜，睡眼惺忪上廁所的時候，從馬桶裡爬出來，怕「共匪」的人，必須相信一不小心投票選錯人，共匪就會打過來。「相信是真的」，才是構成恐懼的條件。我們每個人，都有可能為自己找到很棒的方法，來面對恐懼。例如，有人去收驚；有人跟自己說：「鬼片拍來，就是要嚇人的」，然後，找機會到片場，看化妝師如何把一個普通人，化妝成恐怖的鬼。怕黑的人，可以把黑暗的環境變亮，變溫暖，也可以去黑夜觀星，享受黑夜的美好，也可以單獨走黑暗的巷弄、練「合氣道」防身。怕溺水的人，可以請教練學習游泳、換氣，在水裡自救。所有的恐懼，也都可以去預想最壞的情況，並且接受，就不會感到恐懼了。      美國心理學家佛洛姆，強調愛應有四個元素，愛是照顧、責任、尊重與了解。(1)照顧：我們要看到愛的行為表現中，口口聲聲的愛中，是否有照顧的行為，是否有照顧到對方的需求，「愛乃是我們對所愛的生命及其成長的積極照顧」。善於照顧的人，是不吝嗇於付出行動來愛人的。(2)責任：負責是一種發自內心的自願行為，負責任，表示把對方視為自己重要的存在，意味著看到對方的需求，我們是願意為對方付出時間與心力的。(3)尊重：如果負責缺乏了尊重，愛容易成為支配和佔有，帶著尊重的付出，會看到每個人的差異化，尊重其獨特性。(4)了解：如果照顧的愛，缺乏了解，愛可能會變成強迫。了解是需要時間與耐心，去與眼前的人溝通與對話。願意了解的人，會給予我們時間，去傾聽我們的情緒與價值觀。照顧、責任、尊重和了解是互相依賴且連結的。     了解了愛之後，如果我們沒有人可以愛，我們最應該愛的，就是自己，無條件的愛自己，照顧與關懷自己的需求、對自己有責任感、尊重自己，花大量時間與自己相處，了解自己是誰、了解自己的身心。愛是一門藝術，是一門技術與能力，愛創造的是更完整的自己，更健康的關係，更接納與支持的社會。 Powered by Firstory Hosting

幽默的好處       當處在一個看似緊張的場合中，突然一句幽默的話，真的會劃破沉靜的氣氛，讓大家感受到會心的一笑，真好。其實，笑是我們在體驗幽默中，很常見的一種表現。幽默除了能幫助個體舒緩焦慮的情緒，釋放身體的緊張外，適當利用幽默的方式，來回應錯誤行為，也可增加團體的團結，促進融洽的氣氛。研究指出，幽默引發的笑，是能降低壓力賀爾蒙(皮質醇)，對我們的肌肉骨骼、心血管、免疫系統等，都可產生有益的影響，還有，幽默對心跳、血壓、睡眠狀況等，也都會有好轉的現象。再者，幽默感能使人產生正向的情緒，直接維護我們的心理健康，提升幸福感。幽默更有助於建立社會關係，與社會支持，學者們一致認為，幽默感越佳的人，越能有社交能力及人際吸引力，也越能感受到更多令自己滿意的社會關係。      幽默的話語，令人噗哧一笑，不僅讓我們自身感到愉悅，也能幫助我們在日常生活中，甚至面對壓力時，用更正向的心態，來迎接挑戰!人們常說，「笑一笑，十年少」。雖然有點誇張，但近年來，有越來越多的科學證據表明，大笑的確能給身心帶來許多益處。笑真的是開心愉快的標誌，因為，假笑或是強顏歡笑，其實是很難的，開懷大笑後的那種放鬆感，無異於一次痛快的體育鍛煉，它可以放鬆僵硬的肌肉，更能讓大腦釋放內啡肽(endorphins)的化學物質，讓人感覺渾身暖洋洋。大笑的確會加強我們的免疫系統，同時，還能催生更多抵禦疾病的抗體和細胞。研究表明，和親戚或朋友在一起分享笑話時，不但讓大家更具安全感，且笑聲的傳染力，更意味著友善、熱情與包容。如果沒有歡聲的笑語，這個世界，就將變得不那麼友好了啊。       其實，偶爾開開自己的玩笑，適當自嘲一下，也不錯，因為那會讓我們更有人緣、更快樂，原因如下： 1. 能擁抱真實的自己       放不下所謂的「偶像包袱」嗎？為了維持形象，活成別人心目中的樣子嗎？那真的會讓自己活得好累。沒有人是完美的，我們如能誠實地接受自己，接納自己的缺點，就可以幽自己一默。只有當我們有足夠的自信心時，我們才能坦然地開自己的玩笑，接納自己的不完美，面對真實的自我。 2. 提升自信心 對自己有所懷疑，其實並沒有不好。懂得「自嘲」幽默的人，通常較樂觀，能以正向心態，面對生活中的各種困難及尷尬，也較能正視自己的缺點，學會改進。開自己玩笑的幽默，代表著對自己有一定自信心，生活也就不會太僵化了。 3. 別人可能會更喜歡我們，因為我們很真 即使我們並非有意，當我們取笑別人時，很可能會傷害到對方，但如果我們是開自己的玩笑，不僅自己有笑容，也會讓周圍的人，一起大笑，別人會覺得我們既真實又可愛，氣氛也就不會太緊張或冷場。 4. 分享自己曾做過的蠢事 人人都曾做過蠢事，有些事回想起來，甚至會覺得自己很好笑，而這些都是我們可以和別人分享的玩笑話。我們如能接受自己的全部，包括優缺點，就能自在地「自嘲」自己，生活也會更快樂。       幽默不是開玩笑，或隨口說說。想要引起共鳴，我們本身就應該自然而然地流露出幽默感。我們都希望人生有意義。然而，有時工作與生活太認真、太辛苦了，使人變得庸俗，備感壓力。偶爾，我們發揮一點幽默感，不僅可以助興，消除一板一眼的嚴肅感，也可以讓人生的意義，浮現出來。與同事、夥伴、家人、朋友相處時，常常任何出乎意料的事，都可能讓情況發生變化，提高警覺。但，這時，如能在適當時機，幽默一下，其培養出來的默契與關係，就顯得令人彌足珍貴了。       帶著健康的幽默感，是用理智的視角，伴隨著同理心，有人性，與別人互動，產生共鳴的。有趣的是，發揮幽默感，並不是輕忽正經事，相反地，它會更讓我們即使面對嚴肅的事情時，依然淡定地，繼續前進。       我的幽默感，來自我們全家大小事。我現在和先生住在一起，他姓蔡，我叫他蔡先生，他是個很拘謹的人，但也確實很好笑。我的兒子已婚，我叫他小蔡先生，他生了一男一女，老大Charlie，5歲，老二 Ivy，3歲，媳婦是黃小姐，他們全家，就住在我們家隔壁，每天我們也都有超好笑的事發生，哈哈哈哈哈···，每天，我笑都笑不完啦！  Powered by Firstory Hosting

Good Morality The old morality, with roots in religion, speaks of respect, service to others, sacrifice, resistance to temptation, and moderation in the pursuit of pleasure. Now, we see that the new morality celebrates self-centeredness and self-indulgence. There are current examples we can find everywhere, including campuses at schools, for children’s wrong behavior as follows: 1. Juvenile crime: More than half of all serious crimes in the United States are now committed by youths 10 to 17 years of age. 2. Disrespect for authority: Children and teenagers defy their teachers, even swear at them. Violence continues to mount. Each year, more than 100,000 teachers and hundreds of students are assaulted in school. 3. Children’s cruelty to each other: We’re seeing just children’s meanness. 4. Cheating: Students are cheating on tests, but get good grades as a result. 5. Drugs and drinking: The number of teenage alcoholics is estimated to be 2.5 million in US. 6. Teenage sex: One in five teens has had intercourse by age 15. Half of all illegitimate babies in US are now born to teenage mothers. 7. Theft: Student shoplifters don’t seem to care when they get caught. They don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. In fact, we should help children a) learn to think for themselves, b) take on responsibilities, and c) develop a positive self-image. Actually, the same approaches that help children grow morally also help our family members manage their conflicts constructively and enjoy a greater measure of happiness.        We have some good ideas about getting children to behave and become fair-minded: 1.        Give them choices: Our child doesn’t want to stop playing and have dinner, so we ask: “Would you like to come to dinner now, or go to bed?” 2.        Offer challenges: “Let’s see if you can get to the table by the time I count to ten: One, two, three,…” etc. 3.        Use stories to teach good behavior. 4.        Call time-outs: When children are misbehaving, we need to give them 10 minutes to calm down by having them stop what they’re doing. 5.        Spanking may help: One study found that parents who occasionally spank their children do not nag or yell at them as much as parents who never spank. Moreover, spanking may succeed in controlling a particular behavior. 6.        Be sure to teach good manners: We have to show children good manners, and give them plenty of praise when they remember their manners. 7.        Have them help with the household chores. 8.        Teach them to develop a sense of what’s fair. 9.        Make rules and be sure to enforce them. 10.    When our children are behaving well, we point out to them how much we like it. Almost everybody, including children and adults, has to learn to become independent-minded. Everyone in the school, from the principal down to the students and the staff, cooks and janitors, must pledge to follow the established behavioral rules, and be compassionate and caring towards others. In other words, it won’t work unless it’s practiced at all times and by all people. Moral values are the foundation of people’s characters. Genuinely, we might say that, nowadays, strong and undeterred individuals have been shaped by their moral values, thoughts, and beliefs. It’s also really very important that as a decent person in society, we must invest time and effort in our moral growth. The vital moral values are respect, honesty, compassion, kindness, gratitude, cooperation and generosity. Respect is a vital moral value that all people have to learn, regardless of their age, religion, nationality, beliefs, or points of view. As a matter of fact, every person must be taught from a young age to respect every religion, race, culture, and lifestyle in society. Then, “Honesty is the best policy.” Being true to our parents, teachers, relatives, friends and others, definitely, help us to form a good personality trait and reputation. Compassion is defined as the feeling of love and concern for others. If parents taught compassion to their children from an early age, there would be significantly less hunger, conflict, homelessness, and unhappiness in the real world. The significance of kindness through empathy, acceptance, justice, pleasant gestures, and thoughtfulness is happy enough that it could also imply doing good without expecting good in return. Next, gratitude is the willingness to express appreciation for what we have. And it all starts with happiness. So, it is very grateful for what we have in life to cultivate contentment and thankfulness. Cooperation is the act of assisting others in the pursuit of a common objective. The first step toward developing a spirit of cooperation is to collaborate at home. A family should practice collaboration by doing domestic chores together and listening to one another’s difficulties. Besides, healthy competition can encourage people to cooperate in order to be successful as a society. Last but not least, Generosity is developing a nice and socially responsible person since our childhood. A generous child will be willing to offer his or her time and assistance to others, regardless of the circumstances. We should learn to lend a helping hand to those in need in and outside the classroom at any time.       All in all, we consider moral traits are so important for us because morality can benefit us in our whole lives. Moral traits have social values. If we know a person is honest and compassionate that we can associate with that person safely, and then, we can begin a fruitful relationship with them. Furthermore, from an adaptive perspective, moral traits signal to us that we can increase our wealth and improve our health in the long run. Powered by Firstory Hosting

自助者天助之God Helps Those Who Help Themselves      有些事，不是因為看到希望，才去堅持，而是因為堅持，才看到希望。只有當我們自己本身願意去努力時，上天才能提供機會，幫助我們。人生中永遠有想不到的難題，往往當下也未必能馬上找到解方。重點是，一定要先從自己能做些什麼開始。現今，是社群媒體當道的年代，要讓「自助」發出聲量，一切，就要先從自己想辦法，幫助自己開始。把心思專注在「自助」上，我們才會發現，不但，少了很多負面情緒，更在不知不覺中，為往後的峰迴路轉，埋下種子。有了自助和人助，最後才能期待天助。      每個領域，都有很擅長者，甚至具有天賦者，根本就是老天爺賞飯吃。但是，絕大部分的人，都是透過努力，克服一關又一關，才能養成看起來毫不費力的功力的。跨越挑戰的魄力與勇氣，是自己要先給自己的。常言道：自助、人助、天助，當我們願意先從幫助自己開始，之後，周遭的人，才會看到我們的決心，才更瞭解如何幫助我們。成功是屬於有意願的人的。只有我們自己，才是命運的主人，改變命運的機會，就掌握在我們自己的手裡。 　 　 首先，優秀的品行，是我們事業發展的基礎。如果我們擁有良好的職業道德，品行優秀、有良好的行為習慣，肯自動自發、敬業、忠誠，我們一定魅力無窮。其次，觀念制勝，成敗得失，均在一念間。觀念是一種思想，是我們無形之中的行事準則，有什麼樣的觀念，往往就決定我們的行動方向。要想成功，我們就必須樹立自己正確的觀念，用正確的觀念，指導一生。再者，積極的心態，會使人每天如沐春風、鬥志昂揚。最後，養成良好習慣，可成就美好事業。我們反覆的行為，形成習慣，而習慣又反過來塑造我們獨特的個性。哲人曾說：「種下一種行為，收獲一種習慣；種下一種習慣，收獲一種個性；種下一種個性，收獲一種命運。」好的習慣，會使我們內心，湧動一股奮發向上的力量，而這種力量，就會成就我們輝煌的人生。班傑明．富蘭克林說：「珍惜時間，可以使生命變得更有價值。」歌德說：「絕不能讓最要緊的事，受最不要緊的事擺布。」我們要養成珍惜時間的好習慣，因為，時間就是金錢，時間就是生命。真的，自助者，天助也！只有自己幫助自己，自己認識自己、提升自己、改變自己，如此，我們才能改變自己的命運，成就自己的事業。   Powered by Firstory Hosting

Interpersonal Relationships      Understanding the importance of social connections, and how to maintain them is the key to creating meaningful interpersonal relationships that follow us through life’s ups and downs. Interpersonal relationships are the emotional bonds we create with the people around us. This refers to both our close relationships with family members, friends, romantic partners, and our more surface-level interactions with acquaintances and coworkers. Any time when we interact with someone, we’re creating an interpersonal relationship, whether it lasts for only a few minutes or our whole lives. Everyone has different personality, so no relationship is the same. And personal connections ebb and flow based on individual needs and levels of commitment. Maybe we don’t talk to a childhood best friend anymore because of distance. Or, we’re close with a work colleague because we’ve bonded over a shared experience. This is a natural part of the relationship lifecycle. In modern times, we, actually, rely on cooperation with others to fulfill our lives not only to necessarily survive, but also to live happily and emotionally. Connections with others have a host of benefits. They include: 1.    Feelings of well-being and happiness 2.    A sense of belonging 3.    A positive effect on how we manage stress 4.    Access to new perspectives and ideas 5.    Enhanced resilience in times of crisis, such as a job loss, or the death of a loved one 6.    Improved self-esteem In fact, throughout our lives, except for our family members and siblings, we make friends and maintain friendships from time to time, such as the relationships we develop at school, or others according to shared experiences and interests. But no matter how we meet, a good friend offers comfort, support, and companionship. Here are six ways to cultivate healthy and successful relationships: 1. Learn to listen It demonstrates respect and care for the other’s feelings, opinions, and interests. As an active listener, we’re more mindful in our interactions, engaging fully with what the other person says.  2. Express openness A healthy relationship requires sharing opinions, experiences, and emotions. Being open in our personal relationships requires sincerity. 3. Communicate often We need to use communication very often to share our life experiences, expectations, and understandings with our friends. 4. Be respectful We don’t have to agree with our friends about everything. But we should demonstrate that we value their interests and thoughts, even when they differ from ours.  5. Offer empathy Empathy and compassion help us connect with our friends, and let us understand their experiences. 6. Set boundaries Boundaries define what we’re willing to accept in a relationship based on our expectations and limitations. Boundaries also mean that we care about each other’s comfort levels, and respect each other. However, sometimes, despite our best efforts, a relationship isn’t meant to be. Feeling sad is a natural and understandable response to losing a friend, no matter how it happens. Interpersonal relationships are complex. Only some of the people we meet will have the privilege of becoming close to us, and that’s perfectly normal. Everyone has something unique to offer, and being open and welcoming to new social interactions will still enrich our life in rare ways. It’s important to give us and our friends enough time to think and settle down. Besides, we don’t complain the situations but stay positive to handle as well as to improve things, once something wrong happens among friends. We have to talk to our friends about expectations and boundaries, and then, wait calmly for the outcome. To sum up, if the situation is not good enough, we talk it out to our friends, express ourselves fully, gain support from our friends, stay positive toward it, give more room and space to figure out, and, at last, solve the problems. Eventually, we need to, patiently, take time to the results. If things still haven’t managed to sort it out, at least, we won’t regret not making efforts.   Powered by Firstory Hosting

感動的心      我們人因為是「有情眾生」，內心有感情，所以，很容易為了一個人、一句話、一件事而深受感動，甚至讀一本好書，欣賞一部感性的影片，我們也都會忍不住感動流淚。感動是情感的流露，是人際關係的潤滑劑。一個容易感動的人，生命是有意義的。在團體中，如果主管經常因下屬的勤勞而感動；下屬也會常感受到主管的愛護，必然上下一團和氣。在家庭裏，父母如能常讓子女感動；為人子女的，也會想方設法地讓父母感動。有了感動，彼此就能敬上愛下，和樂相處。人與人之間的互動，感動是不可少的。在我們的日常生活中，無論是朋友、同事或鄰居，如能時時因說話、做事而感動，因禮貌、謙虛而感動，則對於別人所做的，我們就能歡喜感受，對於自己所做的，我們也能時時感動。感動是一種心靈的感覺，它很少張揚於外。感動不會大喜大悲，不會哭天搶地，更不會大吵大鬧，但，感動很微妙，一句話，一個心思，一個動作，一個眼神，或一幅場景，都常常會讓我們感動不已的。   原來，在我們的內心中，自由自在的那份和諧，竟然是感動。而，當我們抓住了和諧的感動時，世界便開始變美好了。我們很難想像，在我們的生命裡，沒有感動，那將是多麽蒼白而空洞啊！現今，在物慾橫流，人人擋也擋不住的當代，談感動似乎是很奢侈的。相對地，寂寞卻是一種真實而深刻的心情，孤立於萬丈紅塵之中，無以分析，無以組合，無法解釋，無以驅趕，它是龐大得無處可容，又細微得無處不入。然而，就在滾滾紅塵，奔波匆忙，漸漸疲憊麻木時，有些細小的事，總能幫我們喚醒內心深處一些沈睡已久的東西，那就是生命中的感動。有了感動，我們就不會感到寂寞孤獨，因為那份感動，是長在心底的一盆不熄的火焰，永遠抗拒絕著結冰。 　   那麽，請問感動來自哪裡呢？感動是一種怎樣的牽引呢？答案是，感動是我們對現實世界的關愛。在公車上，為一位老者讓座；在公寓門口，為一位孕婦開門；攙扶一位盲者過馬路；在車流的長龍中，停下來，給等候多時的車子，讓出空間；冒雨替不在家的鄰居，收回衣物；扶起倒地的幼兒……等等，這些舉手之勞，樸實不經意的舉動，滲透出來的情感，卻處處讓我們充滿感動。感動是人生中的一道風景，讓人在欣賞與品味中，深受愛的啟迪。有了真心的感動，儘管在風霜雪雨的日子裡，我們都不會感到寒意。於是，我們隨手之勞的一紙短信，一張賀卡，一個問候，一個祝福，都能滋潤人的心靈，陶冶人的靈魂，讓人用心去領悟生命的意義。我們知道，感動不只是一種幸福的感覺，而且是一種難以言傳的體會。只要能真正充滿熱情地面對生命，我們就會有一種無限的充實感和快樂感。感動可以點亮我們每一個日子，使我們每一天的生活，都鮮活生動、充實豐盈；感動可以激盪整個世界，讓宇宙、地球都變得熱情飛揚、平和安詳。      每天，我們踏著綠絨絨的草坪，呼吸著清新的空氣，享受暖暖的陽光，聽聽潺潺地溪水聲，在真實的寂靜中，我們捧讀自己的心靈，在自由的天地中，我們放鬆自己，那麼，幸福的感覺，就不知不覺地在汩汩流淌了。這樣的時刻，是舒心、愜意的。我們如能珍視自己所擁有的一切善良、純真和美好，無論是甜蜜，還是苦澀，在時間的篩子過濾後，我們即能享受令人感動的溫馨和美麗。生活是需要感動的，這樣的感動，不僅是愛情，也來自友情、親情，更來自於彼此間的心心相惜，時刻牽掛。以前，也許我們從來都沒有覺得感動是如此的重要，總認為，生活就是那麼一回事，一切的一切，都歸於黄土，化為烏有。也許是因為看淡了生離死别，覺得人生再無奈，也不過是世間的傷別。但，可就在一瞬間、一個送自種香蕉的小動作，就可讓我們深深地明白，原來，生活是需要感動去支撑，去維持的。只有那樣，我們的心才不會孤寂，我們才能感覺到被愛。我們只有伸出自己的雙手，才會給自己和别人，握手的機會。是感動和感恩，讓一切都變得美好了。我們不一定擁有足够的財富，但，付出和被感動的快樂，却讓我們擁有無數的關愛與問候。是啊，老天是公平的，祂為我們關上門的時候，也會為我們開一扇窗的。打開僅有的窗户，我們同樣可以擁有陽光，擁有空氣，擁有美景，擁有屬於我們自己的美好世界。 Powered by Firstory Hosting