Sex With Dr. Jess

We (Dr. Jess and B writing here!) sincerely appreciate you using our affiliate links and discount code DRJESSVIP. Thank you so very much! We appreciate you. Code DRJESSVIP THANK YOU! 💜 (for real) Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win! LOVEHONEY.COM WE-VIBE.COM This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you!   Sex Terms You’ve Never Heard: From CBT to CEI & Beyond Prefer to listen? This post is based on a Sex With Dr. Jess podcast episode featuring Sunny Megatron. Scroll down to listen or listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. What Counts as a "Normal" Fantasy? What turns someone on might surprise others—but that doesn’t make it wrong. In a world where sexual fantasies are often hidden behind closed doors and filtered out of mainstream studies, a growing vocabulary of kink and fetish acronyms reveals just how varied, creative, and expressive people’s desires can be. While a study out of Quebec found that fantasies such as swinging, BDSM, and threesomes are common and “normal” (with over half of participants reporting them), the reality is that many desires extend beyond the bounds of academic inquiry. That’s where lesser-known acronyms come in. Kink Acronyms 101: From Familiar to Fantastical Sex educator Sunny Megatron recently joined the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast to decode the sex terms that rarely show up in textbooks. From CEI to ASFR, here are a few that stand out: CBT: Cock and ball torture This can include everything from gentle squeezing to bondage, ball stretchers, clamps, and even full-contact ball busting. CEI: Cum eating instruction Often paired with JOI (jack off instruction), usually in a dom-sub dynamic, and frequently rooted in taboo play. SPH: Small penis humiliation Involves psychological play and consensual embarrassment. ABF: Adult breastfeeding fetish Not necessarily about lactation, but more often about the eroticism of care, comfort, and vulnerability. CFNM: Clothed female, nude male An inversion of mainstream objectification that centers the clothed partner’s power and gaze. ASFR: Alt sex robot fetish Sometimes referred to as technosexuality, especially relevant in a world where Bluetooth-connected toys like the We-Vibe Chorus and We-Vibe Sync 2 blur the lines between tech and touch. The Psychology of Kink: Power, Play & Permission Many of these fantasies involve submissive men and dominant women—a dynamic that directly challenges cultural norms of masculinity. Kinks like CEI or CFNM provide a mental reprieve from societal expectations of dominance and emotional suppression. This kind of exploration is not necessarily about the acts themselves, but about rewriting personal narratives around power, control, and vulnerability. For some, it’s healing. For others, it’s just hot. And for anyone looking to explore dominant/submissive roles in a playful way, a toy like the We-Vibe Pivot can be an excellent starting point. It’s discreet, app-controlled, and ideal for giving control to a partner, whether across the room or across the world. Shame, Humiliation & the Erotic Erotic humiliation is another thread running through many of these kinks. It’s not about degradation but about consensual embarrassment—such as being asked to perform a sexy task in front of others or being lovingly teased. These types of fantasies often stem from early experiences or internalized cultural messages. For those looking to process shame through pleasure, even seemingly taboo kinks like CBT or CEI can become cathartic and empowering when approached with consent, communication, and curiosity. Playing With Consent: SSC and RACK

A quick 'Thank You' from Dr. Jess and B (it really is us!) - Every time you shop our affiliate links and use our discount code DRJESSVIP, you’re supporting us, and we appreciate you! Thank you again. Code DRJESSVIP THANK YOU! 💜 (for real) Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win! LOVEHONEY.COM WE-VIBE.COM This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! Your Inclusive Guide to Pleasure, Consent & Connection You listened to Part I of our threesome series, and now you’re back for the practical prep. In Part II of our threesome discussion, we share questions and prompts to consider before you have a threesome — for individuals and couples. We also share some of our listeners’ insights on how to prep for a threesome and discuss couples’ privilege. Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, use the prompts below to design an experience that feels thoughtful, consensual, and genuinely pleasurable for everyone involved. (If you missed our conversation with Dr. Justin Lehmiller, circle back for the research on who fantasizes, who follows through, and why the numbers don’t always match.) When (and IF) you’re considering moving from fantasy to action, check out this post on how to prepare for your first sex party and ease your nerves while maximizing pleasure. Sponsored Resources I’m partnering with Lovehoney, Womanizer and We-Vibe because they carry a wide range of body-safe toys and ship discreetly worldwide. Two personal favorites that are versatile for solo and partnered play: We-Vibe Tango X – a pinpoint external vibe that tucks easily between bodies We-Vibe Nova 2 – a flexible dual-stimulation toy; the external arm stays in contact even as you move. Code DRJESSVIP We-Vibe Nova 2 Save with Discount Code - DRJESSVIP • Dual stimulation with flexible clitoral arm = stays in place as you move & deep rumbly vibes. • App-controlled for solo or partner play from anywhere. • Waterproof & rechargeable — ready for bath, bed, or wherever you'd like. We-Vibe.com Lovehoney.com This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! Threesome Preparation Toolkit Below are three sets of questions. Reflect on them solo, discuss with partners, or copy-paste into a shared doc. The goal is clarity about desire, boundaries, and after-care. 1. Personal Reflection Threesomes: Self-Questionnaire  Why do you want to have a threesome? Where did the idea of a threesome come from? How do you feel about this source? What benefits do you expect to derive from a threesome? What are the perceived risks/costs? With whom would you like to have a threesome? Do you know if they’re open to it? How might your relationship with your threesome mates change post-threesome? What excites you most about a threesome? What motivates you? What concerns you about a threesome? Do you have any hesitations? What emotional elements of a threesome have you considered? How will you manage potentially challenging emotions should they arise? Do you feel comfortable communicating your desires and boundaries? What conditions increase your comfort level with open communication? What does your ideal threesome entail? Consider the setting, relationships, involved parties, sex acts, etc.. 2. Jealousy, Insecurity & Other Big Feelings Am I comfortable admitting to feelings of jealousy, insecurity and distress? I tend to feel jealous/insecure/distressed when…

4 Types of Couples – Which One Are You? Thank you for reading and listening to our podcast (from us - Dr. Jess and B)! We truly appreciate your time and support. If you're in the mood to shop for vibrating toys, please consider visiting our affiliate partners and use our discount code DRJESSVIP to save when checking out! We appreciate you.  Code DRJESSVIP THANK YOU! 💜 (for real) Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win! LOVEHONEY.COM WE-VIBE.COM This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! TL;DR - 4 Types of Couples We explore a study identifying 4 types of dating couples — helping you better understand your relationship dynamics, commitment levels, and satisfaction. Key elements of commitment: Emotional attachment Intention to continue the relationship Influenced by satisfaction, shared investments, and social networks The 4 Couple Types: Dramatic Couples Emotional rollercoasters High reactivity to conflict Tend to socialize separately May struggle with stability Partner-Focused Couples Highest long-term satisfaction Prioritize each other’s needs Shared decision-making and emotional investment Socially Involved Couples Thrive on shared social circles Friends’ support boosts relationship quality Strong network = stronger bond Conflict-Ridden Couples High conflict, high passion Cycles of fighting and making up Intensity may mask deeper instability Pleasure tools for connection: We-Vibe Melt – for a warm, suction-based melt-away feeling We-Vibe Tango – tiny but mighty with precision pulses Magic Wand – a full-body classic with rumbling power Use code DRJESSVIP at checkout to save! Explore further: How to Stop Bickering: 12 Strategies Managing Burnout in Relationships Mind-Blowing Oral: Clit Edition Subscribe to the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast and newsletter for more insights, tools, and pleasure-based education. 4 Types of Couples: Understanding Your Relationship Dynamics Have you ever wondered what drives commitment in a dating relationship? In this episode of the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast, Brandon and I dive into a fascinating study that identifies four distinct types of dating couples. By understanding whether you and your partner are “dramatic,” “partner-focused,” “socially involved,” or “conflict-ridden,” you can gain insight into how satisfaction, investments, and social networks influence your bond. Before we get into the transcript, let’s explore key research findings that can help you see where your relationship fits—and perhaps discover ways to enhance communication, deepen commitment, or even steer clear of patterns that aren’t working. What Is Commitment, Really? Commitment in relationships often hinges on two main components: Attachment (emotional bond) Intention to continue the relationship Researchers have shown that these factors are influenced by relationship satisfaction, investments (time, energy, shared goals), and the presence—or absence—of appealing alternatives. For dating couples in their mid-20s, believing that the relationship has a future plays a massive role in both quality and stability. As one study noted, “Commitment in relationships is usually centered around two things. The attachment and the intention to continue the relationship”. The Four Relationship “Onions” 1. Dramatic Couples These pairs experience frequent ups and downs. Their commitment tends to swing dramatically,

Isle McElroy joins Jess and Brandon to talk about intimacy, vulnerability and sex -- on paper and in the flesh. An award-winning non-binary author based in New York, McElroy's latest novel People Collide is a gender-bending, body-switching story exploring marriage, identity, and sex, which delves into questions about the nature of true partnership. Isle shares personal insights on what makes for a good sex scene, how inadequacy plays out in relationships and what they've learned from rethinking sex and pleasure. To learn more about Isle McElroy, check out their social media - Instagram and Twitter And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 343 Sex, Gender & Intimacy: People Collide with Isle McElroy [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: Hey, hey, today we're talking about sex, gender, and intimacy with Isle McElroy, an award winning non binary author based in New York, whose latest novel, People Collide, is a gender bending, body switching story about marriage, identity, and sex, which delves into questions about the nature of true partnership. [00:00:31] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah, and this story isn't your traditional kind of body swap, you know, thinking Freaky Fridays. So the story is... Eli, when Eli, the main character, leaves the cramped Bulgarian apartment, he shares with his wife, Elizabeth, who's more organized, more successful than he is. He discovers that he now inhabits her body. [00:00:48] Jess O'Reilly: So not only have he and his wife traded bodies, but Elizabeth living as Eli, has disappeared without a trace, and what follows is Eli's search across Europe, to America, to find his missing wife, and an exploration of gender and embodied experience. As Eli comes closer to finding Elizabeth while learning to exist in her body, he begins to wonder what effect this metamorphosis will have on their relationship, and how long he can maintain the illusion of of living as someone he isn't. [00:01:17] Jess O'Reilly: And the questions, you know, are will their new marriage wither completely in each other's bodies, or is this transformation the very thing Eli and Elizabeth need for their marriage? to thrive. So I'm really looking forward to this conversation. I've been reading the book. I'm almost done. I thought I'd be done by today, but I have a lot of questions about some of the messaging and themes, and I think it's going to be a great conversation. [00:01:37] Jess O'Reilly: Now, before we welcome our guest, I'll want to announce a partnership with fellow podcasters Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women. The podcast, season two, is out now and it's hosted by Nana Darkwa Sakiyama and Malaika Grant. The podcast explores African women's experiences of sex, sexuality, [00:02:00] and pleasure and they have a host of fabulous guests in their bedroom this season. [00:02:05] Jess O'Reilly: They have top sexpert Ohlone from the UK, fabulous comedienne Yvonne Orji. Feminist powerhouse, Mona Altahawe, and many, many more. And they're asking all their guests, what's your sexy secret? What's your secret, babe? [00:02:19] Brandon Ware: I can't tell you. It's a secret. That's why it's a secret. [00:02:21] Jess O'Reilly: So predictable. Okay. That and so much more in the new season of the Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women podcast out now. [00:02:30] Jess O'Reilly: Listen,

Thank you for engaging with our content and tuning in to the podcast. We like and appreciate you! If you’re interested in exploring more, browse our affiliate links for toys and tools to enhance your connection and pleasure. Be sure to use our discount code DRJESSVIP to save when checking out. Code DRJESSVIP THANK YOU! 💜 (for real) Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win! LOVEHONEY.COM WE-VIBE.COM This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! TL;DR: The Conservation of Resources Theory and Managing Burnout in Relationships Burnout doesn’t just affect work, it depletes emotional and relational resources, impacting intimacy, desire, and connection. Conservation of Resources (COR) Theory helps reframe burnout as a resource imbalance, not a personal or relational failure. Reclaim energy by setting boundaries, prioritizing solo joy, and rebalancing resource exchange with your partner. Tools like the We-Vibe Melt or Touch can support solo and partnered pleasure as part of healing. Reflect weekly: What’s draining you? What’s restoring you? What can you shift to show up more fully and without burnout? Burnout & Relationships: A Tangled Web We Can’t Ignore Burnout isn’t reserved for the boardroom — it shows up in our bedrooms, dinner table conversations, text replies (or lack thereof), and yes, even in the quiet pauses between eye contact. In this episode of the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast, we dive into the signs of burnout, how they manifest in our relationships, and how the Conservation of Resources (COR) Theory offers a practical framework to better understand and manage this ever-growing emotional epidemic. From that sense of feeling “frozen” to the internal tug-of-war between showing up for your partner or just zoning out for self-preservation, burnout isn’t always easy to spot. And it’s even harder to talk about, especially when love and care are at stake. What Is Burnout? Emotional exhaustion, detachment, reduced empathy, irritability, a dip in desire (for intimacy or anything at all), these are more than just rough days. When you’re depleted for weeks, months or even years, the foundation of your relationship starts to shift. Burnout occurs along a spectrum, and that means we’re not just talking about full collapse. The early signs (social withdrawal, communication breakdowns, loss of interest in things you used to love) all serve as red flags. It’s not that you no longer want to connect, cuddle, or care. It’s that you literally can’t. Applying Conservation of Resources Theory to Relationships COR theory, developed by psychologist Stevan Hobfoll (1989), is based on a beautifully simple idea: humans are wired to conserve and protect valuable resources. These include: Object resources (e.g. money, housing, physical safety) Condition resources (e.g. status, roles, relationships) Energy resources (e.g. time, emotional bandwidth, attention) Personal resources (e.g. self-esteem, resilience) Relationships (intimate, platonic, familial) require a constant, fluctuating investment of these resources. And when they’re running low? Conflict, resentment, disconnection and dissatisfaction thrive. But when you’re both able to recognize burnout as a resource imbalance, instead of a personal failing or relational flaw, you can start making changes rooted in care, not blame. Managing Burnout With Relational Intelligence 1. Start With You (Yes, Even When You’re Burnt Out) You cannot pour from an empty cup. You don’t need to be overflowing, but consider where your emotional, physical, and mental energy is being spent.

Thank you for reading and listening to our podcast (this is Dr. Jess and B, for real)! If you're feeling like shopping for buzzing toys or lingerie, check out our affiliate partners and be sure to use our discount code DRJESSVIP to save when checking out! We appreciate you! Code DRJESSVIP THANK YOU! 💜 (for real) Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win! LOVEHONEY.COM WE-VIBE.COM This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! How to Eroticize Daily Interactions Keeping the spark alive in a relationship amidst routine can feel challenging, especially if you're super busy. You're not a light switch; it's natural to need a transition from everyday roles (work, parenting, chores) into a sensual, playful state. To celebrate our wedding anniversary, Brandon and I have curated over 20 actionable tips you can easily implement to make your daily interactions more fun, passionate, and erotic. Establish Role Rituals A ritual to transition from your public role to your private, intimate role can help create emotional and erotic closeness. It could be something as simple as playing a favourite song, mixing cocktails, or switching off your phones. Morning Kindness Starting your day with small gestures, like making coffee or leaving a sweet note, can strengthen connection and make your partner feel valued. It’s an easy and energizing way to start your day. The Complaint Dump Take 2-5 minutes daily to vent frustrations together, clearing the air to allow space for positivity and intimacy later. Pull out the timer and stick to it! Playful Texts Use texts playfully instead of just practically. Send fun, flirty, or incomplete messages to pique your partner’s interest. Use memes, videos or whatever gets you rolling. Sexy Photos and Notes Exchange playful notes or flirty images, enhancing intimacy even when you're apart. Physical Connection Reset Take two minutes to connect physically: lie forehead-to-forehead, breathing together. This enhances emotional closeness through interpersonal synchronization. Embrace Playfulness Physical and verbal playfulness—like joking, teasing, or playful wrestling—deepens intimacy, reduces stress, and fosters attraction. Spend Time Apart Intimacy thrives with a little mystery and distance. Enjoy solo walks or separate activities occasionally. Loving Objectification Within a respectful, loving context, take time to openly appreciate your partner’s physical attributes. Minimize Technological Distractions Create tech-free zones or times, especially in your bedroom, to prioritize connection and intimacy. Quality Time Blocks Regularly set aside quality time together where certain stressful topics (work, kids, pandemic) are off-limits. Instead, ask fun, hypothetical questions to reconnect. Compliment Generously Offer meaningful compliments frequently, ranging from simple admiration to lustful appreciation. Touch Without Agenda Physical affection when you're not specifically seeking sex helps maintain emotional and physical connection, enhancing overall intimacy. Mood Music Music can set the stage for intimacy. Choose music aligned with how you want to feel—powerful, playful, or relaxed. Netflix and Strip Turn Netflix nights into playful erotic opportunities by removing clothing based on keywords heard during your favorite show. The 99 Rule Ask, "Will this matter when I'm 99?" to quickly diffuse trivial tensions and focus on what truly matters. Daydream Together Regularly indulge in shared fantasies or future plans, creating intimacy through imagination and excitement. Ready to spice things up further? Check out these sensual essentials to elevate your...

Do you want to... Bicker less and catch yourself before you start? Stay calm and empathetic during conflict? Feel more at ease and connected so - that you're less inclined to fight? Tune in for a discussion - of why we bicker and 12 simple strategies to reduce conflict in relationships as Jess and Brandon weigh in on this listener question: "We love each other madly. He's really the love of my life, and we don't seem to have any big, deep issues because we're really aligned - on values, family, spirituality, and the core issues. But we bicker a lot. I don't like the example we're setting for our kids. How can we cut back on the daily bickering so our household is more at ease and we have more peace - because we both work from home." Before we dive in, thank you for being here. We appreciate you. If you're shopping, please feel free to check out our affiliate links and use code DRJESSVIP to save on your next toy, lingerie or lube order. You deserve ease, connection, and yes, a little pleasure along the way. Code DRJESSVIP THANK YOU! 💜 (for real) Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win! LOVEHONEY.COM WE-VIBE.COM This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! Why Do We Bicker? It’s not always about the dishwasher or who put the kids to bed. Bickering often masks unmet emotional needs, stress spillover, or deeper relational patterns. Sometimes it’s about rice. Sometimes it’s about power. Sometimes it’s a sign you’re both just worn down. In this episode of the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast, we tackle the big question behind the little fights: “Why are we bickering all the time when we love each other so much?” And perhaps more importantly, how can we stop? How to Stop Bickering (In the Moment) 1. Be Quiet & Listen It sounds simple. But listening (not to reply, not to defend) is one of the hardest relational skills. Picture the word “listen” scrolling across a ticker in your mind to help you stay present. 2. Try the 99 Rule Ask: “Will I care about this when I’m 99?” If not, consider letting it go. Our energy is precious. Spend it on what matters. 3. Write Down What You Want Use your phone to note what you’re actually seeking in the moment. Are you just stressed and looking for connection? 4. Take Some Responsibility Even if you’re not ready to say it aloud, try to own your part internally. It shifts the dynamic almost instantly. 5. Change the Setting Move. Walk. Change rooms. Sit on the floor. Shifting your physical space can shift your emotional tone too. 6. Laugh (But Kindly) Humour (not sarcasm) can defuse tension. Shared laughter strengthens bonds and soothes conflict if it comes from a place of connection. 7. Use Conversation Openers Trade “You always…” for “Can I ask something of you?” or “Would you consider…?” Words matter. Especially mid-bicker. Preventing the Bickering Before It Starts 8. Reduce Daily Annoyances No, you’re not going to change each other completely — but being mindful of repeated irritants (splashes in the bathroom, anyone?) is a simple act of care. 9. Know Your (And Your Partner’s) Triggers If you know you’re edgy the day before your period, name it. If your partner spirals when tech breaks, offer space. Anticipation is kindness. 10. Reduce Stress (So You’re Not Fighting the World at Home) Our nervous systems have limits. If you’re constantly drained, even a sideways glance can start a war. Try offloading stress before it spills over. 11. Add Physical Affection It’s not always about sex. Cuddling, hand-holding, or a 10-second hug reduces cortisol, increases trust, and builds a buffer against future conflict. 12.

In this Q&A, Jess and Brandon weigh in on listener queries related to "work spouses", dealing with a partner who refuses to go to therapy and "love tattoos": "My husband has a coworker who introduced herself to me as his work wife. I didn't even know how to respond. When I talked to him about it, he said she was just kidding around. I think it's inappropriate. He says it's no big deal. Who is right?" "What do you do if your partner refuses; to go to therapy - but the relationship is on the rocks? Asking for a friend." "I just turned 18, and I've been dating a guy - who is a few years older than me. He comes from money, so hw's shown me a lot of things I've never seen before. It has only been a few months, and he wants me to get a matching tattoo. What should I do?" Check out AdamAndEve.com and use code DRJESS50 to save 50% off almost any one item with FREE shipping. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here.   Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Episode 339 Candid Conversations: Managing the 'Work Spouse' and Therapy Avoidance [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. Hey, how are you doing? [00:00:22] Jess O'Reilly: I'm good. I can see that you're putting on a brave face. I am putting on a brave face. [00:00:26] Jess O'Reilly: You know how I know you're having a date. [00:00:29] Brandon Ware: How? What's my tell? What's my tell? Is it Terry's? [00:00:33] Jess O'Reilly: It's your, it's your left peck. It's my left peck. It's your left peck. It's that I saw the app from your ring on your phone and your stress was way up at the top. [00:00:42] Brandon Ware: So I have an Aura ring and it monitors all your vitals and they just released a stress feature. [00:00:48] Brandon Ware: I'm stressed out today. [00:00:49] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah, left peck going hard. [00:00:51] Brandon Ware: I feel like some people need to talk it out with somebody other than me. [00:00:55] Jess O'Reilly: So I think so many of us run into this. I'm not going to obviously speak specifically about your situation. I know what's going on, but I think that sometimes you have people in your lives. [00:01:05] Jess O'Reilly: Whether they be friends, or clients, or co workers, or just people in your family, who, they have their own anxiety, and they try and attenuate that anxiety through you. And I don't mean they're dumping their problems on you, but they may be actually, in your case, they are actually saying, here are my problems, fix them, even though you can't. [00:01:25] Jess O'Reilly: But, They expect you to kind of jump and dance and twist and twirl around their anxiety as though their urgency is your emergency. [00:01:36] Brandon Ware: Ooh, that's a good one. I have heard that before, but their urgency is my emergency. Yes. [00:01:40] Jess O'Reilly: I think it's Luna who I first heard say that. [00:01:42] Brandon Ware: Was that Luna? Luna Matadas? [00:01:43] Jess O'Reilly: It rhymes, you know. [00:01:44] Brandon Ware: It rhymes. I love that. She's a rhymer. She's a plumber. Uh, I, I would agree with that wholeheartedly, and I think once you start paying attention to that, it's easier for me to realize that, Hey, listen, this isn't my problem. This is your problem. And I want to support you. I'm going to be compassionate in [00:02:00] understanding maybe the situation that you're going through, but also taking a step back and saying,

How do you define cheating? And how do you recover once trust has been broken? How do you deal with sexual pressure from a partner? Womanizer Premium Eco Jess and Brandon weigh in on personal questions from listeners. They also share an offer from Womanizer in honour of Breast Cancer Awareness Month: if you're a survivor, request your Womanizer Premium Eco by emailing info at sexwithdrjess dot com. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex & Relationship Q&A: Cheating, Trust & Sexual Pressure Episode 338 [00:00:00] Jess O'Reilly: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey, hey, we're back at it after a week off. Are you, are you feeling rested? [00:00:19] Brandon Ware: I feel refreshed. [00:00:20] Jess O'Reilly: You do? [00:00:21] Brandon Ware: Not at all. [00:00:22] Jess O'Reilly: In 400 or so episodes, or maybe we're not quite at 400. I think we've only missed two weeks. [00:00:27] Brandon Ware: About three 50. And that's impressive that you've only missed. Two weeks. [00:00:30] Jess O'Reilly: Is it? For me it is. For another person who's not as, uh, commitment phobic. Not that impressive, but apologies for missing last week. Not gonna get into it, but happy to, happy to be back chatting with you today, babe. Yeah, always happy to be here. [00:00:43] Jess O'Reilly: We've got some questions from some listeners that, uh, I'm always kind of intrigued by and intrigued to hear what you have to say and what others think. So we do have a bit of an alternative sponsor for Breast Cancer Awareness Month as well. Uh, because cancer diagnosis and treatment have repeatedly been shown to adversely affect sexual function. [00:01:03] Jess O'Reilly: We know that, for example, 83% of breast cancer survivors meet the clinical criteria for sexual dysfunction. We know that a very small percentage actually receive supports in this area. So our sponsored womanizer has. partnered with charity, the leading research hospital in Berlin for a breast cancer clinical study on sexuality and libido for breast cancer survivors. [00:01:25] Jess O'Reilly: And they already have some preliminary data in this study showing that masturbating helps with libido loss and sexual self worth in breast cancer survivors who have undergone treatment. So I am looking forward to seeing some of those. Some of those formal results once published, and Erica Hart, who is a fellow sex educator, they're an activist, a breast cancer survivor themself, they advocate for an active pleasure approach to breast cancer survivors treatment. [00:01:51] Jess O'Reilly: They are also on board as part of the project. And the reason we're bringing this up is that Womanizer, you know I'm a fan of this brand, a huge fan of their [00:02:00] technology, Womanizer is giving away. a whole lot of premium ecos. So those are their premium version of womanizers, but they're recyclable. So they're made from recyclable material. [00:02:12] Jess O'Reilly: The product itself is recyclable. It uses less packaging, all that jazz. And so if you are a survivor and you're interested in a free womanizer premium eco, just let me know. So shoot an email over to our admin over here at sexwithdrjess, it's info at sexwithdrjess. com. Just let us know you'd like one and you need to send your name and shipping address and we'll have it shipped out to you. [00:02:37] Jess O'Reilly: So if you're a breast canc...

Thank you for being here! We appreciate you (seriously)! If you’re looking to stock up for your next adventure, check out our affiliate links and don’t forget to use our discount code DRJESSVIP at checkout for savings on some of our favourite pleasure tools. Code DRJESSVIP THANK YOU! 💜 (for real) Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win! LOVEHONEY.COM WE-VIBE.COM This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! TL;DR: Planning a Threesome? Start With Reflection, Not Just Positioning Threesomes can be thrilling, but successful ones begin with honest, vulnerable conversations, not just lube and logistics. Don’t treat your third like a guest star in your show, co-create a trio of trust, pleasure, and presence. Before you play, ask: What excites us? What concerns us? And how will we care for each other after the glow fades? Avoid unicorn hunting faux pas by checking your couples privilege and ensuring the “third” has just as much voice and choice. Feeling a wave of insecurity or jealousy? Good, you’re human. Use that as a cue to communicate and connect. Use tools like the We-Vibe Nova 2 for hands-free dual pleasure or the Mini Wand to warm up or wind down the group vibe. Ready to elevate the threesome from hot to unforgettable? Try the Womanizer Duo 2 for blended orgasms while one watches, one explores, and one moans their approval. Most important threesome tool? Your mouth, not for what you do with it, but for what you say with it. How to Plan a Successful Threesome: Reflect, Prepare & Play Responsibly In Part II of our threesome discussion, we share questions and prompts to consider before you have a threesome for individuals and couples. We also share some of our listeners' insights on threesomes and discuss couples privilege. Threesome Preparation Questions If you’re looking to ease the tension and enhance pleasure for everyone involved, consider building trust and communication before a single item of clothing comes off. Whether you’re fantasizing about a spontaneous encounter or planning a luxurious, multi-hour play session, think about how you want all parties to feel seen, safe, and satisfied. And yes, that includes the so-called “third.” This isn’t about plugging someone into your pleasure plan like a puzzle piece. You’re co-creating a shared experience. A new dynamic. A temporary triad. Threesomes: Self-Questionnaire Why do you want to have a threesome? Where did the idea of a threesome come from? How do you feel about this source? What benefits do you expect to derive from a threesome? What are the perceived risks/costs? With whom would you like to have a threesome? Do you know if they’re open to it? How might your relationship with your threesome mates change post-threesome? What excites you most about a threesome? What motivates you? What concerns you about a threesome? Do you have any hesitations? What emotional elements of a threesome have you considered? How will you manage potentially challenging emotions should they arise? Do you feel comfortable communicating your desires and boundaries? What conditions increase your comfort level with open communication? What does your ideal threesome entail? Consider the setting, relationships, involved parties, sex acts, etc... Threesomes: Managing Jealousy, Insecurity & Distress Am I comfortable admitting to feelings of jealousy, insecurity and distress? I tend to feel jealous/insecure/distressed when… When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, it shows up in my body as (emotional presence)

Most people fantasize about threesomes, but not many people - actually dive in. In part I of our Threesomes podcast, we dive into the data and get some practical advice from Justin Lehmiller - who answers your questions including: How common are threesomes? What counts as a threesome? How does a threesome affect relationships for couples? Who is having threesomes? How do people find threesomes (e.g. through apps like Feeld)? What’s the appeal of threesomes? Next week, we’ll dive into how to prep for a threesome with prompts, conversations and more! Save with code PODCAST on the Mindful Sex Course on the Happier Couples website. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. All About Threesomes Episode 336 [00:00:00] Jess O'Reilly: Hey, hey, we are talking threesomes today and we are doing a throwback to a two part series with Dr. Justin Lehmiller on the doc today, because I received three questions about threesomes over the weekend and I think it's a sign. So here we go. Have a listen to this throwback with Dr. Justin Lehmiller. [00:00:27] Jess O'Reilly: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:38] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon Ware here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess. [00:00:45] Jess O'Reilly: Hey, hey, we are talking threesomes today and it fits that today's episode is brought to you by FIELD. And FIELD is the first dating app for couples and singles. They're a pioneer in allowing couples to kind of explore dating together as a pair, and they're open to all genders, all sexual identities, [00:01:13] Jess O'Reilly: all sexual orientations from basically for anyone who's interested in either ethical non monogamy or alternative relationship structures, or simply those who are curious and looking to kind of dip their toe into the pond. So do check them out. Field is spelt feel and a D so F E E L D and you can download the field app. [00:01:25] Jess O'Reilly: It's free and you create a profile. And once you have liked someone and they've liked you back on the app. You become connections and you're able to chat. And if you want to, you can share photos and they also often offer an upgraded membership option with extra features. And yeah, so do check out FIELD. [00:01:43] Jess O'Reilly: They're one of the largest online communities for fun stuff like this. And it's interesting. I actually came across FIELD in my research a few years ago. when I was prepping a training for therapists on threesomes and ethical non monogamy and they really are the [00:02:00] perfect partner for this podcast because we're talking about threesomes and of course there are people on field looking for threesomes and later we're going to be talking with their expert Dr. [00:02:08] Jess O'Reilly: Justin Leigh. But before he joins us, I wanted to kind of dig into some of the data on threesomes. And later on, I also want to talk if we have time about how to prepare for a threesome, like in terms of communication and reflection and just topics to address before you start exploring. I don't know how much time we'll have. [00:02:27] Jess O'Reilly: I might have to split it into a couple episodes, but we will get there. It's interesting because when you think about. Threesomes. Don't you think porn has kind of made threesomes seem like, like they're the norm. Everybody's doing them. Yeah, I mean when

Before we begin... (Dr. Jess and B here). We want to express our thanks and gratitude to you for reading and engaging with our site. We sincerely appreciate it, and you! Without any pressure, if you feel inclined to use our affiliate links, please enter the discount code DRJESSVIP at checkout. We appreciate you! Code DRJESSVIP THANK YOU! 💜 (for real) Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win! LOVEHONEY.COM WE-VIBE.COM This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! TL;DR - Pleasure, Spanking & Masculinity with King Noire King Noire, an award-winning porn performer, activist, and Master Fetish Trainer, joins Jess & Brandon from Sex Down South to unpack pleasure, pansexuality, masculinity, and the politics of porn. Spanking with intention: Start slow, communicate often, and never assume your partner’s limits. Explore sting + sensuality with toys like the We-Vibe Touch X or We-Vibe Sync 2. Ethical porn matters: Through Royal Fetish Films, King and Jasmine produce performer-centered content with fair pay, real chemistry, and co-created scenes—pleasure without exploitation. Redefining masculinity: King challenges toxic masculinity and invites men to explore full-body pleasure, from rimming to surrender, without shame. Pleasure is political: Ditch scripts, centre consent, and reclaim your body’s truth. Want more? Listen to the full podcast and dive into posts on anal play, decolonizing desire, and kinky psychology with Luna Matatas & Marla Renée Stewart. Pleasure, Spanking & Masculinity: A Conversation with King Noire King Noire is an accomplished and award-winning writer, porn performer, artist, Master Fetish Trainer, MC, and global activist using the proceeds of his album Music Is My Weapon™ to build a school, freshwater well, and medical clinic in West Africa. He raises consciousness around kink safety for people of color, provides lectures on the decolonization of sexuality, and offers sex education to audiences ranging from college students to medical providers. Check out King Noire's website here, and follow him on his social media accounts - Instagram and Twitter. Thank you for reading and engaging with our content. Your support means the world to us. If you're shopping for pleasure products, please consider visiting our affiliates (here) and use our discount code DRJESSVIP to save when checking out — your clicks help support our site and the free content we create (we receive a small commission). Redefining Masculinity, Spanking with Intention & Ethical Porn The inimitable King Noire shares his perspective of pleasure, pansexuality, performance and much more in this candid conversation with Jess & Brandon. King Noire — an award-winning performer, master fetish trainer, music artist, and educator joined us for an unfiltered conversation live from Sex Down South in Atlanta. We explored everything from pansexual performance and impact play to somnophilia, ethical porn, and raising sons with care and intention. What is a Master Fetish Trainer? King and his partner Jet Setting Jasmine coined the term to reflect their work supporting folks as they discover and embody their fetishes safely. Whether you’re learning to flog, exploring choking and breath play, or simply figuring out what turns you on, their work is grounded in safety, education, and consent. And if you’re new to spanking? King offers this tip: Start slow and sensual. Build intensity over time, alternate sensations, and never assume your partner wants to be hit hard just because they say they’re into impact. Communication is king. And so is practice.

How do you cultivate deeper connections through communication? How can you summon compassion in the heat of conflict? How do you define non-violent communication? What is polyvagal theory? Sander T. Jones joins Jess and Brandon to explore these questions and share additional concepts from their book, Cultivating Connection: A Practical Guide for Personal and Relationship Growth in ethical non-monogamy.  Sander is a licensed clinical social worker, certified hypnotherapist, and author in Atlanta, Georgia with over a decade of experience working with people in ethically non-monogamous relationships, people in the kink/BDSM/Leather communities, LGBTQ+ communities, and people doing voluntary sex work. As a relationship therapist they have taught hundreds of people the steps and principles for repairing relationship bonds and then deepening those bonds through collaborative communication, respecting the rights and autonomy of themselves and their partners, being aware of interpersonal power, and avoiding the abuse of that power when it arises in our relationships. You can contact Sander at SanderTJones.com and following on Facebook and Instagram.   Save with code PODCAST on the Mindful Sex Course on the Happier Couples website. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. A Guide to Compassionate Communication Episode 334 [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight [00:00:15] Jess O'Reilly: here in Atlanta at sex down south. And the reason you know, we're at six down south is that I have no voice left. [00:00:21] Brandon Ware: I was going to say, you got your sexy voice going on. [00:00:23] Jess O'Reilly: Oh my dear God. And it's not from being in the dungeon. [00:00:25] Jess O'Reilly: It's not from doing anything fun. I think it's just from dry air. [00:00:28] Brandon Ware: You should have said it was something fun. [00:00:29] Jess O'Reilly: I know. I know. I wish it was something more fun, but we are having a great time. And if you've ever listened before and heard me talk about Sex Town South, I think it's the most brilliant sex conference. [00:00:39] Jess O'Reilly: It is my absolute favorite. Uh, I'm such a massive fan of Marla and Tia, the founders. Marla, of course, is the coauthor of our latest book. And, uh, among the brilliant minds who are presenting here in Atlanta, we have with us right now, Sander T. Jones, a licensed clinical social worker, certified hypnotherapist. [00:00:55] Jess O'Reilly: Ooh, I want to ask you about that. author. Uh, you're located in Atlanta. You have over a decade of experience and you've recently released Cultivating Connection, a practical guide for personal and relationship growth in ethical non monogamy. Thank you for chatting with us. [00:01:08] Sander T. Jones: Thank you so much for having me. [00:01:10] Sander T. Jones: It's really an honor to be on your show. [00:01:11] Jess O'Reilly: Oh, well, we're, we're so appreciative. I'm excited to learn from you. I've looked over all of the wealth of info. in your latest book, Cultivating Connection. I think it's your first book, right? It is my first book. Yes. Congrats on that. Well, first and foremost, tell us about you. [00:01:24] Jess O'Reilly: Tell us a little bit about your background, professional, personal, anything you feel like sharing. [00:01:27] Sander T. Jones: Okay. Professional background.

How Lifestyle Couples Keep Their Relationships Hot, Happy, and Connected Couples in The Lifestyle — often referred to as swingers — practice a form of ethical non-monogamy that usually involves consensual sexual play with other singles and/or couples. Though swinging still gets its fair share of judgment, research and lived experience show that many couples find that it strengthens their emotional connection, deepens their communication skills, and supports ongoing erotic exploration. In this quickie episode of the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast, Jess and Brandon dive into advice from three experienced Lifestyle couples who generously share their insights on how they keep their relationships strong — and their sex lives sizzling. Curious about The Lifestyle? If you’ve ever been curious about the Lifestyle — or if you’re just looking to bring some of that open, playful energy into your own monogamous relationship — their wisdom applies. Some of the themes we explore include: • Why clear communication is the real aphrodisiac. • How setting — and revisiting — boundaries creates more freedom, not less. • What “success” looks like beyond just sex — think trust, self-awareness, and mutual growth. • How embracing pleasure (without shame) fuels deeper connection. Whether you’re Lifestyle-curious, monogamish, or simply committed to keeping your relationship vibrant, there’s something to learn from couples who choose intentional, consensual exploration. Listen now to hear real-world advice from couples who know that passion doesn’t have to fade — if you’re willing to keep learning, laughing, and, yes, talking about everything. Fuel your connection with a little extra pleasure — explore my go-to toys from Lovehoney. Be sure to use discount code DRJESSVIP to save (and Thank You! We appreciate your support). If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. 3 Sex & Relationship Lessons From "Lifestyle" Couples Episode 333 [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight. [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Dr. Jess, how are you feeling today? [00:00:19] Jess O'Reilly: I'm feeling all right. I'm feeling good. Talk to me. Why is that? We have just disembarked the Desire Cruise, and I don't know if this was maybe number six for us in terms of Desire Cruising, but we just came off a week in Greece with one stop in Turkey. [00:00:33] Jess O'Reilly: It was a lot of fun, but it was pretty intense. [00:00:34] Brandon Ware: Yeah, it was intense. [00:00:36] Jess O'Reilly: Lots of socializing. [00:00:38] Brandon Ware: Yeah, that's an understatement. I always like to party. Oh my gosh. I can't keep up. I don't know. I gotta, I gotta tell you, I don't know how they do it. They're up at like seven in the morning and they party hard until like three in the morning. [00:00:49] Jess O'Reilly: Is that, is that their schedule? I don't know. I'm asleep long before [00:00:52] Brandon Ware: that. I'm, I'm, I'm impressed. [00:00:55] Jess O'Reilly: But it's super friendly crowd. Oh yeah. Like it's so much fun while you're on, but then, you know, when you come off of something that's so highly social, at least me. Oh, I feel like a total drop. I just need to be quiet for a bit. [00:01:07] Jess O'Reilly: Need some time to chill. Yes. Now we are also on route to Atlanta for Sex Town South via Toronto. Very excited for this.

Happy couples from across the globe share their best advice for richer relationships. From the relational to the emotional to the sexual, the happiest couples - of all ages weigh in on what makes their relationships thrive. This episode is brought to you by Desire Cruises - a unique experience for adventurous couples! Join us as we cruise to the Greek Isles in August and the South of France next Spring 2024. If you have podcast questions, please submit them here. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Top Relationship Tips From Happier Couples: 8 Secrets To Success Episode 332 [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice. You can use tonight. [00:00:13] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. And today we are about to head out on the desire cruise. [00:00:21] Jess O'Reilly: That's right. We're hitting the Greek isles. We're hitting Turkey. You're going to make a cruise sound. [00:00:26] Brandon Ware: No, I'm, I'm so much more mature than that. [00:00:28] Brandon Ware: Don't you know me better? [00:00:29] Jess O'Reilly: I can see you. Yeah. Yeah. Why does your boat sound like a donkey? [00:00:34] Brandon Ware: I don't know. It just does. [00:00:35] Jess O'Reilly: If I heard that sound, I'm not getting on the boat. [00:00:37] Brandon Ware: Yeah. Okay. [00:00:37] Jess O'Reilly: So, pretty excited. This is, I don't know. Is this our sixth Desire Cruise? [00:00:41] Brandon Ware: I believe that it is. [00:00:42] Jess O'Reilly: We've been on pretty much all of them except the ones over New Year's because that's our week off. [00:00:47] Jess O'Reilly: And every time we're on board, I'm collecting information. Not necessarily... data, but people's insights and experiences because it's just such a broad range of guests here. So there are around 700 people on board. There are 44 countries represented. I don't have the breakdown of this specific cruise, but from the last one, a few months ago, from that, I know that there were of the 700, around 300 Americans, 50 Canadians, 57 Mexicans. [00:01:16] Jess O'Reilly: Handful from India, 16 Brazilians, another handful of Colombians, around a hundred from Europe. When I kind of look, okay, that's the UK. They've exited. I did. [00:01:29] Brandon Ware: I also did the German though, or maybe it was Austrian. [00:01:31] Jess O'Reilly: Actually UK is a big contingent. I don't know why I didn't write them down, but there's a good number from the UK. [00:01:36] Jess O'Reilly: Folks from New Zealand, Singapore, South Africa, Taiwan, a nice contingent from. Central and South America. So I met Chileans, Costa Ricans, Ecuadorians, Venezuelans, a handful from Lebanon. I met a couple from Korea. And so, and there's, there's kind of a broad age range, right there. I think there might be a couple who are quite young in their twenties, but just like a handful of, let's be [00:02:00] honest, women. [00:02:00] Jess O'Reilly: Yeah. I don't think there's any guys in their twenties, then a handful in their thirties, many in their forties. And then a bunch in their fifties and beyond. And so for me, there's just so much learning here because people hail from all over the world. They come on this cruise for so many different reasons. [00:02:16] Jess O'Reilly: You know, I've spoken about this before that yes, it's clothing optional in certain areas. Yes, it's erotic themed. Yes, there are very interactive workshops and there's even a playroom should you deci...

Has your partner lied to you about their finances? Have you ever hid spending (or debt) from a partner? Do you and your partner disagree about money - saving, spending, sharing, etc? Do you struggle to talk about money without fighting? What constitutes 'cheating' or financial fidelity? Jess and Brandon discuss their experience with financial infidelity and dive into why people lie about money. They also share prompts & language to help you navigate sensitive conversations related to financial values. Be sure to check out Bloomi in a Target near you, or check out their website for your Bloomi needs. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Financial Infidelity & How To Talk About Money Episode 331 [00:00:00] Jess O'Reilly: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:13] Brandon Ware: Today, we're going to be talking about financial infidelity, [00:00:19] Jess O'Reilly: talking about money, money, money, honey. Okay. Are we good at talking about money with each other? [00:00:26] Brandon Ware: I think we're good about talking about some aspects of money. [00:00:30] Jess O'Reilly: Okay, let's start with the good. [00:00:31] Brandon Ware: I think we communicate a lot when it comes to certain investment opportunities. Oh, sure. Uh, things like that. Um, I think we're both generally on the same page in terms of how much money we have. So those are some good things. I don't know. What do you, what are your thoughts? [00:00:45] Jess O'Reilly: You know, it's funny. As soon as you start talking about money, especially, You know, with others in the room with us, so to speak, it's, uh, I get uncomfortable. Like I feel uncomfortable. [00:00:56] Brandon Ware: I grew up with the understanding that talking about money was something you did not do. And it's becoming much more open now where people talk about how much money they make at work and how much money, um, I guess they, they want to have in the future and how much they currently have. [00:01:10] Brandon Ware: But I did not grow up like that. You do not talk about money. [00:01:13] Jess O'Reilly: No, and we, we do need that transparency because one, you know, exercise of power from people who do have money, who control the resources involves convincing everyone that we shouldn't talk about it so we don't know about their billions and whatnot. [00:01:27] Jess O'Reilly: But I have to admit that it's definitely not in my background to talk about it. I can talk about it in specifics when it's relevant to the conversation. Like anytime I've done business with family, we've been very open, very straightforward about the projects themselves. But not about specifics that are personal. [00:01:45] Jess O'Reilly: So I feel a little bit nervous, but we're going to get into it. So, okay. You said we're good at talking about certain things. What do we struggle with? Do you think? [00:01:53] Brandon Ware: Sometimes I think that there's a difference in terms of where we want to spend our money and how we want to spend our money. [00:02:00] Um, so that's the first thing. [00:02:00] Jess O'Reilly: You mean I want to spend it? [00:02:02] Brandon Ware: Yeah. I want to spend our money too. I don't want to hoard. I don't want to hoard my money. Okay. I do want to spend it. I want to enjoy it. I think because of my upbringing, because about, I think there's an element of shame, of guilt,

Sex vs. Social Media & The Surprising World of Belly Button Pleasure Thank you for listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess Podcast and reading along here! Your support means the world to us. Every time you click our affiliate links and use our discount code - DRJESSVIP, it helps keep our content alive! We receive a small commission and thank you for your support! Code DRJESSVIP THANK YOU! 💜 (for real) Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win! LOVEHONEY.COM WE-VIBE.COM This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! TL;DR - Sex vs. Social Media, and Alvinophilia A Canadian study found nearly 1 in 10 young people would give up sex before social media, and 3% would trade a decade of life to keep scrolling. We explore what these stats say about tech, connection, and evolving pleasure priorities. Instead of shaming screen time, we unpack the importance of inclusive, youth-informed conversations about digital life, intimacy, and pleasure. Listener Q leads to a deep dive into belly button arousal (alvinophilia)—from food play to raspberries to tongue worship, the navel is an under-explored erogenous zone worth celebrating. Tools to try: We-Vibe Tango X for precise stimulation and Nova 2 for full-body arousal paired with belly play. For more, check out our guides on erogenous zones and subscribe to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast for ongoing pleasure-based convos. Would You Give Up Sex or Social Media? A new Canadian study asked people between the ages of 16 and 30 whether they'd rather give up sex or social media—and nearly 9% chose to forgo sex. In this podcast episode, we unpack this surprising data, reflect on our own scrolling habits (hint: Brandon’s feed is all dogs and wipeout videos), and dig into what it means to live in a world where nearly a third of people would rather give up restaurants than TikTok. The social media vs. sex debate may sound extreme, but it opens up important questions around connection, pleasure, and how tech is reshaping our relational landscapes. What's Behind These Choices? More than half of respondents use social media for three or more hours a day. Nearly 10% said they'd rather go childless than give up their accounts. And the most jaw-dropping stat? 3% said they'd give up a decade of their life to keep scrolling. We explore these findings with nuance and care, emphasizing that "social media isn't all bad," and that instead of shaming younger folks for their screen time, we need better conversations—ones that include them in the design and direction. Belly Button Love: The Pleasure of the Navel Listener question time - A young couple writes in with a fascinating dilemma: One partner has an outie belly button, and the other can't get enough of it. They're diving into belly button licking, raspberries, food play, and more. This leads to a deep conversation about alvinophilia (navel arousal), self-consciousness, and reclaiming pleasure in parts of the body often excluded from erotic scripts. We reflect on our own experiences with belly play and offer practical suggestions for anyone curious to explore this often overlooked erogenous zone. If you're curious about exploring erogenous zones, be sure to check out this post to learn more: Erogenous Zones You May Have Overlooked Exes, Erogenous Zones & Erotic Massage How to Explore Belly Button Play From using your tongue to whispering sweet nothings, the belly button can be a site of powerful erotic connection. Try: Raspberries and breath play Warm oils or massage candles (opt for body-safe ingredients like this favourite)

Looking for a quick exercise to offset the potentially harmful effects of conflict? Jess & Brandon explore a 7-minute solution to support "cognitive reappraisal" as they share the details of their latest fight: the Popsicle incident. In one study, three simple 7-minute writing interventions over the course of a year were shown to improve relationship quality in newlyweds and long-term couples alike. Have a listen to learn more and give it a try yourself to improve your relationship in just 21 minutes per year. And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Jess & Brandon's Latest Argument. And A 7-Minute Solution Episode 329 [00:00:00] You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:00:15] Brandon Ware: Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Today we're going to be diving into an exercise that just brought to my attention and asked us or asked me to define or what would you say? Write out, explain our most recent argument. [00:00:29] Jess O'Reilly: Yes, from a neutral perspective. So we're going to try an exercise that has been shown to lead to happier relationships, and it relates to conflict and how we view it. And so basically, Brendan and I wrote out Why are you laughing? How we view because honestly, I can't even finish a sentence because we had to describe our most recent conflict from a neutral perspective, and I think we sound ridiculous. [00:00:55] Jess O'Reilly: Like speed bags. It's about popsicles. I was going to say that. The conflict is about, it's about chill pops. [00:01:00] Brandon Ware: My headline for the, for this was the popsicle fight. [00:01:04] Jess O'Reilly: Oh my gosh. [00:01:04] Brandon Ware: I'm like, oh man. [00:01:06] Jess O'Reilly: Okay, let me give you a bit of background on this exercise. So, you know, it comes from this study where researchers from four different universities were working with 120 couples over the course of two years. [00:01:14] Jess O'Reilly: So some of these couples were newlyweds and some had been married for years. And during the first year of the study, all participants, all couples were assigned to write about the most significant marital conflict they had experienced in the previous four months. So they did this three times a year, and they were also collecting info on, you know, their relationship overall. [00:01:34] Jess O'Reilly: So intimacy, trust, passion, commitment, satisfaction, and love. So that's what they did in the first year. They, three times a year, they wrote about their most significant marital conflict. After year one, the whole group was divided in two. So one group, the control group, kept doing the same activity that they did in the first year, wrote about their most significant conflict. [00:01:52] Jess O'Reilly: But the second group, did an additional writing activity that took around seven minutes on average. And so the quote, [00:02:00] each partner wrote about the conflict from the perspective of an impartial observer who wants the best for both partners. So they did this three times a year and apparently it made a really significant difference. [00:02:12] Jess O'Reilly: Just writing about the conflict from a neutral perspective, from the perspective of somebody who wants. both parties to come out on top as a team. And with just three seven minute writing exercises or interventions, they saw really interesting results.

Whether at work or in a personal relationship, rejection can suck. Listen to the SexWithDrJess podcast (above) or read the brief summary and full transcript below. As always, thank you so much for being here and engaging with our content. We appreciate you. Check out our affiliate links and remember to use code DRJESSVIP at for exclusive savings! Code DRJESSVIP THANK YOU! 💜 (for real) Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win! LOVEHONEY.COM WE-VIBE.COM This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! Rejection Happens — in the Boardroom and the Bedroom  We poured through messages from across our community—sexual partners, executives, performers, and friendship groups all shared the ways rejection shows up. Why did this matter so much? Because we tend to feel it more acutely when it threatens a core identity or social capital.  Practical Strategies to Manage Rejection Broaden your connection toolbox If your world runs on sex—or status—build emotional, intellectual, physical, creative, communal ways to feel seen. Reframe rejection as protection Sometimes “no” is a headnod from life steering you toward better matches or priorities. Flip the initiation script Both people take turns initiating—this sharing builds empathy and reframes what a “no” even means. Prioritize quality Better communication and attentiveness in sex and life mean fewer personalizations of “no.” Let yourself feel You’re human—sit with the emotions, don’t rush, don’t blame. According to the APA, developing psychological strategies to cope with rejection can help you build emotional resilience and reduce the long-term impact of repeated “nos.” Rewrite your inner narrative Spot those “I’m unworthy” loops and replace them with evidence-based truths. Lean on your circle Friends, partners, therapists—hold space and shatter the isolation of shame. Practice rejection Like auditions or casual dating—it builds resilience if your crew is cheering you on. Ask what you want Name the emotional needs—time, recognition, validation—and invite your partner to help meet them—not out of obligation, but nuance. Shift from “no” to “not now” Softer refusals paired with alternatives keep connection alive. Take a beat That primal panic? Pause. Regulate. Breathe. And reapproach clear-headed. Derive growth from “no” Every rejection teaches something—skill, timing, values, boundaries.   Products to Explore for Pleasure, Connection & Self‑Care We-Vibe Nova 2 – sleek and powerful for those self‑focused nights turning inward. We‑Vibe Moxie+ – discreet, wearable, and inclusive, perfect for feeling desired on your terms. Code DRJESSVIP We-Vibe Nova 2 Save with Discount Code - DRJESSVIP • Dual stimulation with flexible clitoral arm = stays in place as you move & deep rumbly vibes. • App-controlled for solo or partner play from anywhere. • Waterproof & rechargeable — ready for bath, bed, or wherever you'd like. We-Vibe.com Lovehoney.com This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! More to Read: Internal Link Suggestions For tools to open these key conversations, check our post on erotic connection – Quick connection exercise for couples. If you’d like to explore balancing intimacy and exploration, see erotic seduction – The core erotic feeling. Stay Connected Loved these tips? Subscribe to our newsletter for sex and relationship insights and catch our full conversations on the Se...

Rejection is a life skill. This week, Jess and Brandon revisit a previous conversation about how to deal with someone who pulls away without explanation. They share their own experiences, and weigh in on how to manage the "in-between" when you're not together but haven't quite split up. Big thanks to our sponsors AdamandEve.com — use code DRJESS to save! And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to Manage Rejection Part 1 Episode 327 [00:00:00] Jess O'Reilly: Hey, hey, we are running a repeat podcast today on the topic of rejection because it's, it's a week of rejection emails. [00:00:10] Brandon Ware: If you're going to rejection, that's my jam. I'm totally like, let's go. Let's do this. [00:00:14] Jess O'Reilly: It's your specialty, receiving rejection or rejecting others. [00:00:17] Brandon Ware: Both. [00:00:18] Jess O'Reilly: Oh, really? Okay. Uh, anyhow, we received so many questions about dealing with rejection this week. [00:00:23] Jess O'Reilly: Sometimes these things come in waves and themes and questions about rejection in and out of the bedroom. And a while back, we covered this topic. So we're going to do it again. And I'm going to share that episode with you, which is perfect for me because we are down at my family reunion. Over 60 of us, Chinese Jamaicans, Changs. [00:00:40] Brandon Ware: This is where the rejection came in. I tried so hard to talk to people, but they just kept rejecting and not listening to me. [00:00:46] Jess O'Reilly: Well, my family's on transmit, not receive. We talk more than we listen. Anyhow, we're down here. Lots of distractions, lots of food, so much chaos. So much love and I'm happy to get to enjoy it. [00:00:57] Jess O'Reilly: So without further ado, we'll throw it back to I think March 2022. Here you go. [00:01:07] Jess O'Reilly: You're listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. [00:01:16] Brandon Ware: Welcome to sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Ware here with my lovely other Dr. Jess. [00:01:25] Jess O'Reilly: Hello. I'm glad you've stopped making those ASMR sounds. I can do it again for everyone. It's really creepy, your tongue ASMR sounds. [00:01:36] Jess O'Reilly: I like the sound. There you go. It's the look of your tongue coming out of your mouth I don't like. That's not the point. Ah, well tonight... We're having a quickie. It's the way I like it. I know. Cool brag. Cool, cool brag, bro. We're going to be talking about dating and what to do when someone pulls away. So not when they ghost you, but when they kind of back out out of nowhere. [00:01:57] Jess O'Reilly: So I did this interview. And people had sent [00:02:00] in this hodgepodge of questions. Hodgepodge? You're 90. Smorgasbord of questions about what to do when a love interest pulls back out of nowhere. So they said, for example, you're hitting it off and then all of a sudden things change. Text messages are sparser. [00:02:15] Jess O'Reilly: They used to text every day. They don't initiate contact like they used to, but they still respond to you or they're answering with like one word. Whereas they used to call and, you know, send essays, or they're saying that they're busy all of a sudden and don't have as much time, but then they come back and they're messaging you. [00:02:31] Jess O'Reilly: So basically, they're not communicating that they want to end things,