• What are the signs of burnout, and how do they – show up in relationships?


• How might the Conservation of Resources theory apply to personal relationships?


• And how can we use the Conservation of Resource lens to manage burnout and improve relationships?

Jess & Brandon discuss these topics and more while exploring specific strategies for dealing with burnout in – the context of personal relationships. Check out the transcript below, and be sure to click here to learn more about the upcoming Temptation Cruise departing from Miami in February 2024.

And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Go<wbr />ogle Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Episode 342

Managing Burnout In Relationships: Conservation of Resource Theory

[00:00:00 ] You’re listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight.

[00:00:15 ] Jess O’Reilly: Mr. Brandon Ware, how you feeling today?

[00:00:17 ] Brandon Ware: I’m good. I’m good. I’m a little bit tired. I’m good.

[00:00:19 ] Jess O’Reilly: A little bit worn out.

[00:00:20 ] Brandon Ware: Just, just a touch.

[00:00:21 ] Jess O’Reilly: This is what I’m hearing across the board.

[00:00:23 ] Brandon Ware: Yeah. I hear it from a lot of people these days.

[00:00:25 ] Jess O’Reilly: I didn’t even prep you for it. I’m like, if I ask how you’re doing, I know you’re going to say you’re a little worn out because it seems like everybody’s feeling that way. You know, I’m hearing from friends who describe their state as frozen.

[00:00:36 ] Brandon Ware: I haven’t heard frozen before.

[00:00:37 ] Jess O’Reilly: Yeah. Actually two different friends last week said that they feel frozen. Like they don’t even feel like replying in our group texts. They don’t even feel like talking about what’s going on in the world because folks are feeling exhausted and sad. And I think there’s a sense of. Hopelessness around some of the, the big issues and power and the way things are shifting and seeing how, you know, even economies are, are shifting so that it’s making it harder for people to live.

[00:01:05 ] Brandon Ware: I thought you were going to make reference to, so the feeling numbness, but also the inability to move, is that what you’re saying? So it’s kind of twofold.

[00:01:12 ] Jess O’Reilly: Right. Cause we think about fight. Or flight, freeze is another response, fawn is another response, but we’re not talking about that today. I want to talk about burnout.

[00:01:21 ] Jess O’Reilly: So I think most folks have heard me talk about the bulk of my work is this marriage as a business program, where I take business models and adapt them to relationships for business leaders. And that’s my favorite part of my job. It’s super fun. And it’s really interesting because it’s not like every model can just be.

[00:01:36 ] Jess O’Reilly: Shifted into another realm perfectly, but I think they can be adapted and no model is perfect. No theory is perfect, especially when you’re looking at, you know, for example, organizational psychology. But I was thinking that it’d be interesting to apply this to burnout today because it seems to be the theme in all the private messages I’m reading and in my friend groups right now.

[00:01:51 ] Jess O’Reilly: And yeah, I was thinking about applying. some theories to burnout today with a lens of an organizational psychology theory, conservation of resources, which I know you’re familiar [00:02:00 ] with. Yes, I am. Studying organizational psych. And I was thinking that we could talk briefly about signs of burnout, uh, the conservation of resource theory more generally, and then apply it to relationships.

[00:02:09 ] Jess O’Reilly: And then of course, end with some strategies and solutions.

[00:02:13 ] Brandon Ware: Sounds like a plan. Where do we begin?

[00:02:14 ] Jess O’Reilly: Well, we begin actually with our sponsor, Temptation Cruise. And I’m actually very, very excited because I just got the contract backed yesterday and I’m heading for the very first time on the Temptation Cruise.

[00:02:25 ] Jess O’Reilly: So this is the sibling cruise to the Desire Cruise and it’s an erotic, naughty, wild, fun, laid back, no pressure, very celebratory. party on the seas. We start in Miami, we head out into the Caribbean, into the Bahamas, into Cozumel, and it’s February 19th to 24th. So it’s kind of creeping up on us. And it’s open to absolutely everyone.

[00:02:49 ] Jess O’Reilly: So you can come on your own, you can come with three others, you can come as a couple, you can come as you are. And it’s for people of all genders, all sexual orientations. And it’s a big party on the seas and they, you know, there’s topless sections, there’s clothing optional sections, there’s a playroom and it’s my very first time hosting workshops on this ship.

[00:03:07 ] Jess O’Reilly: So I’m pretty excited.

[00:03:08 ] Brandon Ware: I think the only thing you have to do is. People are here to come and party.

[00:03:11 ] Jess O’Reilly: Yes. I would say it’s a, it’s more of a party, but you can really make it what you want. Of course you can get off at the, at the various cruise ports. Sorry.

[00:03:20 ] Brandon Ware: You know, I’m just sitting here waiting for all of these.

[00:03:22 ] Jess O’Reilly: Everybody with the language of like, get off and come as you are. And I think after 20 years of this, I’m. I’m so over it, the puns, the puns. Yeah. So yes, speaking of burnout, but do check out the temptation cruise. I’m going to link my link in the, in the show notes and I’ll put it in my IG as well, because if you are checking it out, I would really appreciate it.

[00:03:41 ] Jess O’Reilly: If you’d click on my link