The Art and Science of Difficult Conversations

Rachel Platt shares practical strategies for addressing disrespectful behavior, giving effective feedback, and fostering respectful workplace environments. This episode covers handling difficult conversations, timing feedback, and maintaining emotional regulation.   Connect with Rachel: rplatt@PLATTinumconsulting.com https://calendly.com/plattinumconsulting/intro-networking  https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelplatt/  www.PLATTinumconsulting.com About Rachel:  Rachel Platt brings 20+ years of experience helping organizations and individuals achieve enduring success through strategic human resources leadership. Through her roles as a Chief Human Resources Officer, Vice President, and Regional Director in diverse organizational structures and industries, she built her reputation on her track record of developing pragmatic solutions to meet complex organizational and people challenges. Rachel founded PLATTinum Consulting in 2018 to guide leaders in creating People Strategy initiatives in the areas of employee engagement, leadership development, culture assessment and improvement, performance management, staff training, communications, talent acquisition, HR process improvement, inclusion and coaching.  As a certified Women's Business Enterprise (WBE), PLATTinum serves small and medium sized non-profits and commercial businesses across the US. PLATTinum partners with clients to maintain a transparent, ongoing, open dialogue. We provide a data-driven, responsive, organized approach.  But most importantly, we are proactive, optimistic, approachable and occasionally funny. We place outcomes before egos and work with clients who share similar values.    Connect with us: Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment

In this conversation, Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova engage with Rachel Platt, a people strategist, to explore the dynamics of difficult conversations in the workplace. They discuss the importance of addressing disrespectful behavior, the role of leaders in fostering a respectful culture, and the balance between achieving results and maintaining a positive work environment.   Rachel shares insights on navigating difficult conversations, identifying signs of disrespect, and modeling appropriate leadership behavior. The discussion emphasizes the need for curiosity, understanding, and proactive communication in creating a healthy workplace culture.   Takeaways: Rachel Platt helps organizations move past HR as paperwork. A people strategist focuses on aligning people strategy with business strategy. Curiosity is key in addressing difficult conversations. Disrespectful behavior often gets minimized in organizations. Leaders must recognize the impact of their silence on culture. High performers can create a different set of rules in the workplace. Addressing disrespect early can prevent larger issues. Intent matters, but the impact of words is more significant. Leaders should set clear expectations for respectful behavior. Creating a culture of respect enhances employee engagement and retention.\  Connect with Rachel: rplatt@PLATTinumconsulting.com https://calendly.com/plattinumconsulting/intro-networking  https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelplatt/  www.PLATTinumconsulting.com About Rachel:  Rachel Platt brings 20+ years of experience helping organizations and individuals achieve enduring success through strategic human resources leadership. Through her roles as a Chief Human Resources Officer, Vice President, and Regional Director in diverse organizational structures and industries, she built her reputation on her track record of developing pragmatic solutions to meet complex organizational and people challenges. Rachel founded PLATTinum Consulting in 2018 to guide leaders in creating People Strategy initiatives in the areas of employee engagement, leadership development, culture assessment and improvement, performance management, staff training, communications, talent acquisition, HR process improvement, inclusion and coaching.  As a certified Women's Business Enterprise (WBE), PLATTinum serves small and medium sized non-profits and commercial businesses across the US. PLATTinum partners with clients to maintain a transparent, ongoing, open dialogue. We provide a data-driven, responsive, organized approach.  But most importantly, we are proactive, optimistic, approachable and occasionally funny. We place outcomes before egos and work with clients who share similar values.  Chapters   00:00 Introduction to the Conversation 00:57 The Journey into HR and People Strategy 04:51 Navigating Difficult Conversations 12:42 Identifying Disrespectful Behavior in the Workplace 16:51 Balancing Results and Respect in Leadership 20:00 The Impact of Communication on Workplace Culture 23:58 Self-Reflection and Understanding Triggers 27:39 Understanding Intent vs. Impact 29:23 The Leader's Responsibility in Addressing Disrespect Connect with us: Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment

How do you tell someone they are not performing at the level you expect or need them to, without crushing them or demotivating them, and instead making them feel supported and motivated to improve?  Hear how Peter Vinge does it in the different performance feedback roleplays with Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova.  Missed part 1 of this conversation on performance discussions? Check out part 1 here.  takeaways Performance conversations can be approached without discomfort. Role-playing scenarios can help practice feedback delivery. Empathy is crucial in leadership and team dynamics. Leaders should focus on facts rather than emotions during feedback. Creating a safe environment encourages open communication. Empowering team members leads to better performance outcomes. Self-leadership is essential for effective management. Understanding individual challenges can improve team dynamics. Clear expectations help align team goals and performance. Building rapport is key to successful leadership. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Performance Conversations 00:06 Role-Playing Difficult Conversations 07:15 Empathy in Leadership 15:25 Building Empathy and Understanding in Leadership 19:31 The Importance of Self-Leadership   About Peter Vinge Peter Vinge is the founder of TORBAY Consulting and a leadership advisor focused on helping leaders have clear, confident, and productive conversations. He works with executives and teams to strengthen accountability, alignment, and culture by addressing challenges head-on. www.TORBAYConsulting.com  https://www.linkedin.com/company/torbayconsulting  Connect with us: Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment

In this conversation, Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova engage with HR consultant Peter Vinge to explore the complexities of performance conversations in leadership. They discuss the importance of clear communication, the distinction between kindness and niceness, and the necessity of addressing performance issues promptly. Vinge shares insights on how to prepare for feedback sessions, manage emotions, and navigate sensitive situations, including those involving protected classes. The discussion also covers the effective use of Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs) and the significance of building trust within teams. Takeaways Performance conversations can be approached without discomfort. Kindness creates clarity, while niceness avoids discomfort. Address performance issues immediately to maintain trust. Document patterns of behavior for effective feedback. Prepare data and facts before performance conversations. Emotions should be set aside during feedback discussions. Transparency builds trust in difficult conversations. PIPs should not be a surprise to employees. Clear expectations are essential for performance improvement. Empowering teams leads to better performance outcomes. About Peter Vinge Peter Vinge is the founder of TORBAY Consulting and a leadership advisor focused on helping leaders have clear, confident, and productive conversations. He works with executives and teams to strengthen accountability, alignment, and culture by addressing challenges head-on. www.TORBAYConsulting.com  https://www.linkedin.com/company/torbayconsulting  Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Performance Conversations01:53 The Journey into HR05:02 Understanding Performance Feedback08:01 Identifying Performance Issues11:00 The Importance of Documentation13:56 Preparing for Performance Feedback16:47 Managing Emotions in Feedback19:48 Navigating Sensitive Conversations23:09 The Role of Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs)30:41 Navigating Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs)34:51 Role-Playing Difficult Conversations34:52 Introduction to Performance Conversations   Connect with us: Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessme  

In the 2nd part of their interview with Kristina, Chris and Lucie explore the importance of fostering a culture of productive disagreement within teams. Kristina shares strategies for transforming meeting dynamics, encouraging open dialogue, and the value of contrarian perspectives.  She shares her advice on how to encourage people to speak up and she even goes through a role play in which she shows how a leader might handle someone pushing back on their idea.  Takeaways -        Creating a culture of productive disagreement is essential for team growth. -        Asking the right questions can foster open dialogue. -        Encouraging team members to find contrarian perspectives can lead to better decision-making. -        Learning from criticism can provide valuable insights for improvement.  About Kristina Joy Carlson Kristina Joy Carlson is a sought-after speaker and best-selling author of Essential Principles for Fundraising Success, and the soon-to-be released, Outrageous Kindness: A Mindset. A Method. A Movement, Kristina knows how to navigate change and turn challenges into opportunities. While leading businesses and driving global philanthropic growth, she managed nearly a decade of intense caregiving, profound grief, and her own cancer battle—an experience that reinforced the power of purpose, perspective, and action. Kristina has helped maximize the philanthropic engagement of former US Presidents and other heads of state, Fortune 500 CEOs, Forbes 400 individuals, faith leaders, celebrities, and everyday people. Today, as founder and CEO of Outrageous Kindness, she is applying that wisdom to create a movement that inspires leaders, philanthropists, and individuals to take bold, high-impact action, embrace accountability, and experience the magic of small acts that create big results. Learn more about her: Her website Get her book, Outrageous Kindness: Amazon Square Books   Connect with us: Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

This week, Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova talk with Kristina Joy Carlson, founder and author of "Outrageous Kindness."  There’s lots of talk around the idea of psychological safety.  And one way that plays out in real life is a culture where open disagreement is not only accepted but encouraged. Kristina talks about how a culture of fear can stifle communication and innovation. She advocates for a mindset of generosity and constructive feedback, which is essential for personal and organizational growth.  She highlights the detrimental effects of a 'yes-man' culture, where assumptions replace data-driven decision-making. Takeaways -        If you want your teams to be good at communicating, you have to model that. -        A culture of assumptions can cost organizations tremendous potential, money, and more -        You have to commit to learning and hearing different perspectives. -        How to interpret team silence  About Kristina Joy Carlson Kristina Joy Carlson is a sought-after speaker and best-selling author of Essential Principles for Fundraising Success, and the soon-to-be released, Outrageous Kindness: A Mindset. A Method. A Movement, Kristina knows how to navigate change and turn challenges into opportunities. While leading businesses and driving global philanthropic growth, she managed nearly a decade of intense caregiving, profound grief, and her own cancer battle—an experience that reinforced the power of purpose, perspective, and action.   Through her executive leadership roles at Carter Global, Ketchum, and FundraisingINFO.com, Kristina guided transformational capital campaigns, raising billions of dollars around the globe while also creating bespoke training programs, and developing innovative technologies for some of the world’s largest nonprofit organizations including Habitat for Humanity International, World Vision International, Susan Komen and others. She has also helped maximize the philanthropic engagement of former US Presidents and other heads of state, Fortune 500 CEOs, Forbes 400 individuals, faith leaders, celebrities, and everyday people. Today, as founder and CEO of Outrageous Kindness, she is applying that wisdom to create a movement that inspires leaders, philanthropists, and individuals to take bold, high-impact action, embrace accountability, and experience the magic of small acts that create big results. Connect with us: Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

In part 2 of their conversation, Chris, Lucie, and Julian discuss the complexities of leadership and organizational design, emphasizing the importance of understanding resistance and fostering accountability. Like many things in life, organizational design is an ongoing process that requires regular assessment and adaptation. Julian encourages leaders to engage all levels of their organization in the design process to create a culture of collaboration and effectiveness, otherwise, it’s destined to fail.  Other big things we learn today:  -        Organizational design is a continuous process, not a one-time event. -        Resistance is better than apathy.  Resistance indicates engagement and concern -        Accountability is crucial for successful organizational change. -        Regular assessments of organizational structure are essential for effectiveness. -        The design of an organization should reflect its strategy and promise. -        Hierarchy is not inherently negative; it can provide necessary structure. -        Engagement from all levels of an organization is vital for successful design. About Julian Julian is the founder of 11A Collaborative, a social impact consulting firm dedicated to creating healthy society through healthy organizations. 11A supports purpose-driven businesses, nonprofits, foundations, public offices, and government agencies seeking to increase their impact by translating strategy into action through organization alignment. This means defining and refining strategy, designing the organization that will achieve the north star goals, and then stewarding the change to get there.   Connect with Julian 11A Collaborative – www.11acollaborative.com Connect with him on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julianchender/   Connect with us: Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

This week, Chris and Lucie had the pleasure of chatting with Julian Chender, an expert in organizational design, to explore the difficulties of communication and structure within organizations.  Julian shared his journey in organizational design, emphasizing the need for strategic alignment and the human elements that influence organizational behavior.   Most importantly, he talked about how silos aren’t a 4-letter word, but leaders make common mistakes in managing change and fostering collaboration across silos. Big Takeaways -        Organizational design is about setting the container in which an organization operates. -        Silos are necessary structures that support organizational goals. -        integration across silos is crucial for effective strategy execution. -        Silos should be designed with 'doors' to facilitate collaboration. -        Understanding the strategic purpose of silos can enhance organizational effectiveness.  About Julian Julian is the founder of 11A Collaborative, a social impact consulting firm dedicated to creating healthy society through healthy organizations. 11A supports purpose-driven businesses, nonprofits, foundations, public offices, and government agencies seeking to increase their impact by translating strategy into action through organization alignment. This means defining and refining strategy, designing the organization that will achieve the north star goals, and then stewarding the change to get there. Over his career, Julian has consulted to purpose-driven organizations across sectors, from the Fortune 10 to nonprofits in education, arts, and public health, from intergovernmental European agencies to New York City public offices. He is a Certified Organization Design Practitioner and an ICF-Certified Coach who holds a master’s degree in Organization Development from American University and a B.A. in History from Swarthmore College. In 2020, he received the Emerging Practitioner Award from the Organization Development Network (ODN). He has served on the Board of Trustees of ODN and currently sits on the Board of Advisors for the Organization Design Forum.  Connect with us: Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

What does leading with emotional intelligence look like in practice? That’s what we’re exploring in today’s special compilation of The Art & Science of Difficult Conversations. You’ll hear highlights from four episodes: – Dr. Rick Fearnbaugh on growing as an emotionally intelligent leader, – Kelly Meerbott on creating psychological safety, – Chris Wong on helping your team take ownership and accountability, – and Dr. Summer Miller on handling layoffs in a compassionate and ethical way. Connect with us:Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

Episode Description: In this special compilation episode of The Art & Science of Difficult Conversations, we’re taking a break from work conversations and turning toward the relationships that matter most outside of work. You’ll hear three powerful clips on what it means to communicate honestly in love – with yourself, with a long-term partner, and in modern dating. Together, these conversations explore how to be more “you” in relationships, navigate conflict with care, and set boundaries that protect your energy and your heart. We revisit: Grace Gavin on open and honest communication, and six key practices that can transform the way you show up with the people you love. Heather Garbutt, psychotherapist and love & relationship coach, on navigating triggers, red flags, and tough conversations in committed partnerships – and how intentional dialogue can deepen connection instead of breaking it. Whitney Kobrin, dating and relationship expert, on modern dating, setting intentions, boundaries, and how emotional regulation and self-soothing can help you date with more confidence and self-respect. As you listen, notice this question: Where am I not bringing my honest self into the relationships that matter to me – and what might change if I did? In this episode, you’ll learn: Why open and honest communication is essential in close relationships Six practical practices to help you communicate more clearly and courageously How to recognize triggers and red flags in romantic relationships Ways to have intentional, deeper conversations in committed partnerships How dating has changed in recent years – and what that means for you How to set intentions and boundaries before and during dating Simple ideas for navigating first dates with less anxiety and more ease How self-soothing and emotional regulation support healthier choices in love Guests featured in this compilation Grace Gavin – Communication expert and co-founder of Know Honesty, helping leaders simplify their communication and close divides inside organizations. Heather Garbutt – Psychotherapist and love & relationship coach, supporting people in healing past hurts and creating healthier, more supportive partnerships. Whitney Kobrin – Dating and relationship expert, guiding people to date with intention, confidence, and clear boundaries. If you enjoyed this episode Share it with a friend who’s navigating a big relationship conversation Leave a rating or review to help others find the show Connect with Lucie and Chris for coaching, workshops, or speaking on difficult conversations and emotional fitness Connect with us:Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

Say the Hard Thing: Courageous Conversations Under Pressure Most difficult conversations don’t fail because we don’t know what to say. They fail because fear shows up, emotions escalate, or we lose clarity under pressure. In this compilation episode of The Art & Science of Difficult Conversations, we bring together three powerful conversations that walk you through the full arc of a hard conversation — from finding the courage to speak up, to staying grounded when emotions rise, to navigating real-world leadership pushback. You’ll hear: What courage really looks like in communication Why waiting to feel “ready” often keeps us silent — and how to speak even when fear is present. How to respond when someone becomes defensive or angry Practical tools for de-escalation, emotional regulation, and keeping the conversation productive instead of reactive. A real-life leadership roleplay: handling pushback from a team member How to balance empathy and accountability when you still need results — without escalating conflict or damaging trust. This episode is for you if: You avoid hard conversations longer than you want to admit You freeze or over-explain when emotions run high You’re a leader navigating resistance, pushback, or difficult dynamics You want to communicate clearly without losing yourself or the relationship Difficult conversations don’t require perfection — they require presence, courage, and practice. This episode gives you all three.   Connect with us:Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

How do you give feedback that actually builds a high-performing team? That’s the theme of our compilation episode today. In the first segment, you’ll hear a roleplay where one of our previous guests, Jevon Gondwe, gives performance feedback to Chris. In the next segment, Chris and I break down five practical steps you can use to give feedback that’s clear, honest, and supportive.   Connect with Jevon:https://www.influentialskills.com/ jevon@influentialskills.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/jevon-gondwe/  Connect with us:Email – tas.difficultconversations@gmail.comChris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

In part 2 of their conversation with Laurel Engbretson, Chris and Lucie are joined by Sara Firestein.  This is especially fun because Sara reports directly to Laurel and together, the four of them discuss not only the process of giving feedback to your boss, but how to receive feedback too! They explore the importance of building trust and psychological safety, the role of feedback culture, and the impact of empathy in communication. The discussion highlights personal experiences and strategies for giving and receiving feedback, emphasizing the need for openness and collaboration in fostering effective team dynamics. Takeaways -        Feedback should be balanced with positive reinforcement. -        Specific examples help clarify feedback. -        Trust enhances team dynamics and collaboration. -        Leaders should invite feedback to disrupt power dynamics.   About Laurel: Laurel Engbretson is the national Vice President of Strategy & Operations at LISC. In this role she leads LISC’s Strategy & Operations team to facilitate strategy development and drive operational excellence toward LISC’s enterprise-level priorities. Laurel started at LISC as a Program Officer in the Bay Area, where she lived for 30 years before moving to the East Coast to join LISC’s national office. Before LISC, Laurel worked at the San Francisco Housing Accelerator Fund, JPMorgan Chase, the Oakland Mayor’s office, and in residential real estate. She has an MBA/MPP from Mills College and a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Santa Cruz.   About Sara: Sara Feierstein is a nonprofit strategy and operations specialist. Her work experience and education have focused on using data to drive impact in the nonprofit industry. She has spent the last several years working in the Community Development sector where she has been implementing strategies to help her organization align internal operations with programmatic goals. Sara has a Master in Business Administration from NYU’s Stern School of Business where she specialized in Business Analytics and Nonprofit Strategy. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in Economics from New York University. Follow Laurel: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurelengbretson/ Follow Sara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sara-feierstein-22878066/   Connect with us:  Chris - LinkedIn / Newsletter and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for Leaders Lucie - LinkedIn  / Saboteur Assessment 

This week, Chris and Lucie interview Laurel Engbretson, a VP of strategy and operations, discussing the complexities of difficult conversations in leadership. Together, they explore Laurel's journey and her journey to building the courage to give feedback to her own manager. Laurel is a big advocate in the role of trust and the gradual process of building confidence in difficult conversations.  Together, they talk about: -        Building trust is crucial for giving and receiving feedback. -        Finding your voice takes time and practice. -        Trust is built over time and through shared experiences. -        Assuming positive intent can improve difficult conversations. -        Personal growth can enhance professional effectiveness.   About Laurel Laurel Engbretson is the national Vice President of Strategy & Operations at LISC. In this role she leads LISC’s Strategy & Operations team to facilitate strategy development and drive operational excellence toward LISC’s enterprise-level priorities. Laurel started at LISC as a Program Officer in the Bay Area, where she lived for 30 years before moving to the East Coast to join LISC’s national office. Before LISC, Laurel worked at the San Francisco Housing Accelerator Fund, JPMorgan Chase, the Oakland Mayor’s office, and in residential real estate. She has an MBA/MPP from Mills College and a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Santa Cruz.  Connect with us:  Chris - LinkedIn / Newsletter and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for Leaders Lucie - LinkedIn  / Saboteur Assessment   

In part 2 of their conversation, Chris and Lucie dive even deeper into the intricacies of networking with Jack Pittas, discussing essential strategies for building connections, the importance of tracking contacts, and the effectiveness of elevator pitches. They even persuade Jack to role play how to approach two different people at networking events. Takeaways  Networking is about building relationships, not closing sales.  Old-fashioned business cards are still relevant.  Elevator pitches should be conversational, not scripted.  Rejection is part of the networking process; learn from it.  Online networking can be as effective as in-person events.  Always be curious and ask questions to engage others. About Jack: Jack is a partner at Ace Business Development, which offers fractional sales, networking, and business development services to help small businesses build their pipeline and GovCons break into the government market. Jack and the Ace team use a "boots-on-the-ground" approach and their vast connections to build relationships on behalf of their clients to ultimately drive revenue opportunities.    Jack is also owner of PK Cyber Solutions which offers specialized content-writing on technical subjects including B2B tech, cybersecurity, and GovCon. Since 2020, Jack has generated a majority of his business via networking and building quality relationships.    Connect with Jack: Email: jack@acebusinessdev.com Website: https://www.acebusinessdev.com   Connect with us:  Chris - LinkedIn / Newsletter  Lucie - LinkedIn  / Saboteur Assessment 

This week, Chris and Lucie talk about the art and science of networking with expert Jack Pittas. They explore the importance of networking for professionals, especially for introverts, and provide practical tips on how to approach networking events, build relationships, and follow up effectively. Jack shares his insights on treating networking like a party, the significance of quality over quantity in relationships, and the long-term benefits of nurturing connections. Takeaways  Networking is essential for solopreneurs and small business owners.  Networking can help you find referral sources, not just clients.  Realize that you’re not alone, networking is hard for everyone  Treat networking events like parties to ease the pressure.  Follow up within one to two days after meeting someone.  Focus on quality relationships over quantity. About Jack: Jack is a partner at Ace Business Development, which offers fractional sales, networking, and business development services to help small businesses build their pipeline and GovCons break into the government market. Jack and the Ace team use a "boots-on-the-ground" approach and their vast connections to build relationships on behalf of their clients to ultimately drive revenue opportunities.   Jack is also owner of PK Cyber Solutions which offers specialized content-writing on technical subjects including B2B tech, cybersecurity, and GovCon. Since 2020, Jack has generated a majority of his business via networking and building quality relationships.  Connect with us:  Chris - LinkedIn / Newsletter / Courses Lucie - LinkedIn  / Saboteur Assessment 

What's the difference when a leader has healthy boundaries vs when they don't? Join us for the second part of our interview with Angela Barnes, where we will roleplay and discuss the complexities of setting boundaries in leadership roles, particularly within the nonprofit sector. We explore the challenges of people-pleasing tendencies, the importance of having a strategic plan, and the role of professional development in establishing effective boundaries. Through role-playing scenarios, we illustrate how to navigate difficult conversations and highlight the need for accountability and clarity in leadership. Missed the first part of the interview? Check it out here.  Key Takeaways: Boundaries are essential for effective leadership and personal well-being. People-pleasing can hinder decision-making and boundary setting. Role-playing scenarios can prepare leaders for difficult conversations. Having a strategic plan helps in managing expectations and responsibilities. Professional development is crucial for understanding and setting boundaries. Accountability is key in leadership; avoid blaming others for failures. Clear communication about goals and resources is necessary for success. Boundaries help regulate emotions and prevent burnout. Engaging with professional communities can provide support and guidance. Setting boundaries is an ongoing process that requires commitment and practice.   Contact Angela:  http://www.adbstrategies.com/  LinkedIn Connect with us:  Chris - LinkedIn / Newsletter / Courses Lucie - LinkedIn  / Saboteur Assessment   

Episode Overview In this insightful episode, hosts Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova welcome Angela Barnes, MBA, CFRE, to explore one of the most challenging aspects of workplace communication: setting and maintaining boundaries. Angela brings over a decade of fundraising expertise and shares hard-won lessons about navigating boundaries in nonprofit organizations. Guest Angela D Barnes, MBA, CFRE Principal of ADB Strategy Specializes in working with nonprofits with operating budgets between $250K-$1M Provides development workshops, digital workbooks, and strategic consulting services Key Topics Discussed The Nonprofit Boundary Challenge Corporate vs. Nonprofit Dynamics: Angela explains how boundary expectations differ dramatically between for-profit and nonprofit sectors Board Structure Complications: Why nonprofit board members often have more visibility and direct access to staff than their corporate counterparts The Training Gap: How lack of proper board onboarding contributes to boundary violations The Seven Areas of Boundaries Angela introduces her holistic framework for understanding boundaries across seven key life areas and explains why we often fail to bring our personal boundaries into the workplace. Common Boundary Mistakes Waiting for the "perfect" verbal boundary: Boundaries can be set through behavior, posture, and simple communications (like email signatures) Setting boundaries in anger: Reacting emotionally instead of proactively communicating expectations Expecting mind-reading: Assuming others should know your boundaries without clear communication Staying in whine mode: Complaining repeatedly without taking action to change Kind vs. Nice: A Critical Distinction Nice = Sympathy: Over-accommodating, making exceptions, avoiding accountability Kind = Empathy: Understanding someone's situation while still maintaining standards and expectations The Late Employee Example: How Angela addressed chronic lateness with kindness but persistence, getting results after five years of others being "nice" Emergency Boundaries When boundaries aren't set proactively, you're forced into "emergency boundary" mode, which turns into crisis communications and difficult conversations. Key Takeaways ✅ Start with organizational boundaries: Understand what boundaries exist (or don't exist) in your workplace before setting personal ones ✅ Communicate boundaries proactively: Don't wait until you're frustrated or angry to express your limits ✅ Boundaries don't require confrontation: Simple changes like email signatures can set expectations without drama ✅ Whining signals readiness (or unreadiness): If you're complaining repeatedly without action, ask yourself if you're truly ready to change ✅ Own your destiny: Your boundaries and the enforcement of them are your responsibility, not other people's Contact Angela:  http://www.adbstrategies.com/  LinkedIn Connect with us:  Chris - LinkedIn / Newsletter / Courses Lucie - LinkedIn  / Saboteur Assessment   

Want a guide to follow while listening? Or notes for future reference? Download the free Power Dynamics Playbook here.  Ever freeze in a meeting when the stakes are high? This episode demystifies power dynamics. We talk about what they are, how they hijack your nervous system, and exactly what to say when you need to push back, manage up, lead from the middle, or invite real feedback as a leader. You’ll learn the six types of power (beyond “positional”), why the same words land differently depending on who says them, and practical, word-for-word moves you can use today (yes-and framing, power-leveling questions, structural safety, and more).   Who it’s for ICs & new managers who need to speak up to senior leaders Leaders who suspect they’re not getting the real story Peers navigating conflict without formal authority What you’ll learn The 6 power types: positional, expert, relational, resource, informational, and cultural/identity How power triggers fight/flight/freeze/fawn—and how to keep your prefrontal cortex online Why “impact over intent” defuses defensiveness and creates traction Concrete scripts: managing up, managing down, and managing across Key Takeaways Power isn’t the problem; invisible power is. Name it to tame it. Scripts that calm defenses beat “bravery speeches.” Try: “I love where this is headed and I want to flag one implementation risk.” Questions that level the field: “What would need to be true for this to work?” “How does this fit the priority we set last week?” Leaders: Don’t trust your gut on psychological safety—design for it (rotate facilitation, invite the quiet, respond to anonymous signals). For peers: Stop competing for the same power—trade it on purpose. Resources Mentioned Book: Willful Blindness by Margaret Heffernan  Free “Be Free” Saboteur Assessment (find your survival-brain patterns): https://mindfittery.com/befree  Lucie's LinkedIn Chris’s newsletter + connect with him on LinkedIn too and check out his online courses Episodes on cultural/identity dynamics (see channel playlist)

Summary:  In part 2 of their conversation, Matt Brown shares his insights on building credibility and trust within teams, overcoming skepticism in leadership roles, and navigating board dynamics. He emphasizes the importance of humility, active listening, and the willingness to learn from others. Matt discusses the responsibilities of leadership, particularly in maintaining the integrity of an organization while fostering growth.   Key Takeaways -        It's tough to gain credibility, but humility helps. -        Creating a learning environment is essential for team dynamics. -        Overcoming skepticism requires demonstrating value through action. -        Respecting and valuing each team member's expertise is crucial. -        Building trust takes time and consistent effort. -        Acknowledging others' contributions can build trust -        Mistakes in leadership can be learning opportunities.   About Matt Matt joined OARS as Executive Director in 2024. Prior to OARS, he was Chief Operating Officer at Lowell House, Inc., an addiction treatment non-profit serving Merrimack Valley. Matt served on the Randolph Conservation Commission and Community Preservation Committee before moving to Westford, MA. He served on the Westford Affordable Housing Committee and coached youth baseball and basketball in Westford. Matt holds an MS in Non-Profit Management from Worcester State University and an MA in English from Clark University.   Contact Matt Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-brown-0b9b21145/ Check out OARS: https://oars3rivers.org/      Interested in the difficult conversations course? Check it out here: https://www.myleadershippotential.com/trust Want to learn what kind of mind traps are sabotaging your communication and relationships with others? Go to https://www.mindfittery.com/befree to learn more.  Contact Chris: chris@myleadershippotential.com Contact Lucie: lucie@mindfittery.com or https://www.mindfittery.com