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Description
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
Hosted by Danielle Black
A no-fluff, evidence-based podcast for parents navigating post-separation abuse, family violence, coercive control, and high-conflict separation and divorce - with a relentless focus on protecting children in a system that too often fails them.
Hosted by Danielle Black, Australia’s leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, this podcast is not about "amicable co-parenting at all costs", outdated ideologies, or adult notions of fairness. It is about understanding how abuse frequently continues through parenting arrangements after separation - and what genuinely child-centred decision-making looks like when risk, fear, or power imbalance is present.
Each episode challenges the myths that place children in harm’s way, including Australia’s dangerous obsession with 50/50 shared care, the misapplication of "friendly parent" ideals, and the expectation that protective parents should endlessly compromise to keep the peace.
Drawing on developmental science, research-based evidence, trauma-informed practice, and lived experience, Danielle breaks down:
- How post-separation abuse actually operates
- Why many standard parenting frameworks fail children in high-conflict cases
- What evidence-based, defensible, child-focused parenting really requires
- How to move from confusion and self-doubt to clarity and confidence
This podcast is for parents who are done minimising risk, done being gaslit by systems and professionals, and done prioritising adult comfort over children’s safety and development.
Expect direct language, research-backed insight, practical guidance and a few cuss words here and there - not platitudes, false balance, or pressure to accept arrangements that don’t sit right - because children’s wellbeing matters more than adult fairness. Always.
To go deeper, explore The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™, Danielle’s flagship program supporting parents to make informed, protective decisions after separation.
Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au
Keywords: post-separation abuse, family violence, coercive control, high-conflict parenting, separation, divorce, family court, Australian family law.
99 Episodes
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Healthy relationships after family violence, and in the midst of post-separation abuse, are possible - but they are rarely talked about honestly in survivor spaces. In this special anniversary episode, Danielle Black is joined by her husband Drew for a candid conversation about what it actually looks like to build a safe, equal partnership after coercive control, trauma, and years of family court proceedings. This episode does not offer a fairy tale. It offers something more useful: evidence....
Family Reports can be influential pieces of evidence in Australian family court proceedings - but they are widely misunderstood. In this episode, Danielle Black explains what Family Report Writers are actually assessing, why protective parents can be misread and mischaracterised, and how nervous system responses to trauma can impact presentation in interviews. Drawing on lived experience and years of supporting parents through the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia, Danielle explor...
Collaboration is often presented as the gold standard after separation. Parents are encouraged to communicate openly, compromise, and "work together". In the right circumstances, a collaborative approach can indeed produce faster, less adversarial, and more sustainable outcomes. But what happens when the conditions for genuine collaboration don’t exist? In this episode of The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast, Danielle Black explores the realities behind collaborative approaches, including mediat...
International Women’s Day bonus episode In this special episode, Danielle Black explores something rarely named in conversations about parenting after separation: the invisible architecture of childhood. The planning. The anticipating. The emotional holding. The daily mental load of raising children that rarely appears in legal documents, mediation rooms, or parenting orders. Across decades of research, we know that primary caregivers - most often mothers - carry the majority of this invisibl...
What does a divorce coach actually do - and how do you know if the support you’re choosing after separation is right for your situation? In this episode of The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast, principal coach Danielle Black unpacks the rapidly growing world of divorce coaching, high-conflict separation support, and post-separation parenting guidance. As more professionals begin using the label “coach,” many separating parents are left wondering who to trust and what kind of support they actuall...
Intrusive thoughts. Rumination. The relentless "what if" loops that keep you awake at night. If you’re a protective parent navigating separation, family court, or post-separation abuse, you are not broken - your brain is responding to chronic stress and uncertainty. But how do you know when intrusive thoughts are a normal stress response… and when they require professional mental health support? In this episode, Principal Coach Danielle Black unpacks: • The difference between intrusive though...
In this episode, Principal Coach Danielle Black is joined by Senior Coaches Brigid Morgan and Trudie Hargrave to explore what meaningful, professionally held group support actually looks like in post-separation parenting work. Many parents navigating separation want connection - but feel cautious about online forums, unmoderated social media groups, or advice shared without professional understanding of the family law landscape. Following on from last week’s discussion about neuroplasticity a...
If you’ve experienced high-conflict separation, coercive control, other forms of family violence or post-separation abuse, your brain has adapted to help you survive. But survival wiring can make advocacy, decision-making, and communication inside legal and family systems feel overwhelming. In this episode, Danielle Black explains the science of neuroplasticity and how protective parents can intentionally rebuild capacity, confidence, and internal stability - even when external outcomes feel ...
In this episode, Danielle is joined by Senior Coach Brigid Morgan for a warm, honest conversation about post-separation recovery, protective parenting, and why evidence-based, child-focused support matters. We start with a light-hearted chat (morning person or night owl? coffee or tea? beach or mountains?) before moving into deeper conversation about Brigid’s personal post-separation journey, what led her into coaching, and why she is passionate about helping parents step into their role as t...
Considering Separation in 2026? Let’s Talk About the Decision You’re Already Making If you’re listening to this episode, chances are the question isn’t “Should I leave?” It’s “Why am I still here - and what is this costing me and my children?” In this episode, I speak directly to parents who are contemplating separation in 2026 - especially those who have been living in chronic high-conflict, coercive, or emotionally unsafe relationships and are quietly carrying the weight of indecision. We u...
2025 was a big year - for families navigating separation, and for the work we do here at Danielle Black Coaching. In this episode, I’m welcoming you into 2026 by reflecting on what we learned in 2025, what’s coming next, and - most importantly - how to use support wisely as a post-separation parent. I share: Key reflections from 2025 and what they revealed about what parents actually need after separationWhat’s planned for 2026 across coaching, education, and small-group supportFeedback from ...
It’s easy to listen to podcasts, read posts on socials, and consume information… but none of that automatically turns you into the credible, strategic, protective parent you need to be in a post-separation, coercive-control landscape. In this episode, Danielle explores the critical difference between knowing and doing, and why true protective capacity comes from integration, practice, documentation, and nervous system leadership - not passive consuming. If you’ve ever felt informed but still ...
Most parents assume that family law is financially exhausting because lawyers and court processes are inherently expensive. But that's not the full story. Legal fees explode when parents approach their matter reactively instead of strategically. In this powerful episode, Danielle breaks down the core drivers of legal cost blowouts - emotional emails, unclear communication, poorly structured evidence, last-minute affidavits, crisis thinking, and relying on lawyers to interpret chaos rat...
Is 50/50 shared care or equal shared parental responsibility (decision making) automatic in Australia? No - but it is highly likely if protective parents consent to it out of exhaustion. This episode breaks down the biggest myth in post-separation parenting: that courts routinely “order” equal parenting time. In reality, most 50/50 outcomes occur because parents become overwhelmed, under-supported and pressured to agree long before trial. Danielle explains what factors do influence equa...
This episode is a heartfelt message to the parents who have joined The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ or invested in coaching - parents who have chosen courage over comfort, strategy over survival, and capacity over chaos. Danielle speaks directly to those who made the decision to invest not only money, but time, energy, emotional labour and their one precious window to protect their children in a post-separation landscape. In a world where people spend without hesitation on coffee, han...
Do Final Orders mean you're finally safe? Does completing a behaviour change program guarantee transformation? This episode exposes the dangerous myths that leave children unprotected. If you've been told "he's done the program, so things are safe now" or "you have Final Orders, so everything should be fine" – this episode is essential listening. Danielle Black breaks down the research on why: • Behaviour change programs show mixed evidence for sustained change in coercive control patterns ...
If you’ve ever found yourself deep in Google searches trying to work out whether your ex is a covert narcissist, a malignant narcissist, or something in between… this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: Understanding “narcissism” won’t help you protect your children. Understanding coercive control will. In this episode, Danielle Black explains why protective parents get stuck in the narcissism rabbit hole - and how it can keep them overwhelmed, confused, and focused on the wrong pro...
If Part 1 helped you understand the patterned aspect of coercive control, this episode helps you finally see the harm. In Part 2 of this series, Danielle Black breaks down the 7 child-directed patterns of coercive control - the tactics most family law professionals completely overlook, and the ones that cause the deepest developmental harm to children. Drawing on lived experience, research, and hundreds of real cases, Danielle explains: The 7 ways coercive control targets children, not just ...
Why do family lawyers, mediators, report writers and even judges keep missing what might be painfully obvious to you - that this isn’t “high conflict,” it’s coercive control? And why does that mislabel put your children in danger? In this episode, Danielle Black breaks down the core reason the family law system consistently fails to recognise coercive control: it’s using the wrong framework. While professionals are trained to look for incidents, coercive control is a pattern - and one that di...
Most protective parents assume their lawyer or mediator understands what their children truly need after separation - developmentally, emotionally, and in terms of safety. But the uncomfortable truth is this: lawyers know the law, not child development. They are not trained in coercive control, developmental trauma, or the research that actually predicts how children thrive after separation. In this episode, Danielle explains why you must lead your legal team, not follow them - and why relyin...
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