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The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast - hosted by Danielle Black, Australia's leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting.
This isn't your typical separation, divorce or co-parenting podcast. We tackle the hard truths about what happens when separation involves family violence, high-conflict dynamics, and ongoing abuse - and most importantly, how to protect your children when the flawed Australian 'system' lets you down.
Each episode challenges the dangerous myths that keep women and children in harmful situations. From exposing why Australia's love affair with 50/50 parenting arrangements is hurting Australian kids, to revealing how post-separation abuse operates through parenting arrangements - this is where protective parents get the evidence-based guidance they desperately need.
Putting children first after separation - even when that means challenging professionals, fighting inappropriate arrangements, and refusing to accept "compromise" solutions that damage your children's development and wellbeing.
Raw, unfiltered, and research-backed. Because your children's wellbeing matters more than adult concepts of "fairness."
Transform from confused to confident in your post-separation parenting decisions. Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode. Join the waitlist today
Ready to make child-focused decisions with confidence?
Visit danielleblackcoaching.com.au to learn more about how we can help.
88 Episodes
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It’s easy to listen to podcasts, read posts on socials, and consume information… but none of that automatically turns you into the credible, strategic, protective parent you need to be in a post-separation, coercive-control landscape. In this episode, Danielle explores the critical difference between knowing and doing, and why true protective capacity comes from integration, practice, documentation, and nervous system leadership - not passive consuming. If you’ve ever felt informed but still ...
Most parents assume that family law is financially exhausting because lawyers and court processes are inherently expensive. But that's not the full story. Legal fees explode when parents approach their matter reactively instead of strategically. In this powerful episode, Danielle breaks down the core drivers of legal cost blowouts - emotional emails, unclear communication, poorly structured evidence, last-minute affidavits, crisis thinking, and relying on lawyers to interpret chaos rat...
Is 50/50 shared care or equal shared parental responsibility (decision making) automatic in Australia? No - but it is highly likely if protective parents consent to it out of exhaustion. This episode breaks down the biggest myth in post-separation parenting: that courts routinely “order” equal parenting time. In reality, most 50/50 outcomes occur because parents become overwhelmed, under-supported and pressured to agree long before trial. Danielle explains what factors do influence equa...
This episode is a heartfelt message to the parents who have joined The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ or invested in coaching - parents who have chosen courage over comfort, strategy over survival, and capacity over chaos. Danielle speaks directly to those who made the decision to invest not only money, but time, energy, emotional labour and their one precious window to protect their children in a post-separation landscape. In a world where people spend without hesitation on coffee, han...
Do Final Orders mean you're finally safe? Does completing a behaviour change program guarantee transformation? This episode exposes the dangerous myths that leave children unprotected. If you've been told "he's done the program, so things are safe now" or "you have Final Orders, so everything should be fine" – this episode is essential listening. Danielle Black breaks down the research on why: • Behaviour change programs show mixed evidence for sustained change in coercive control patterns ...
If you’ve ever found yourself deep in Google searches trying to work out whether your ex is a covert narcissist, a malignant narcissist, or something in between… this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: Understanding “narcissism” won’t help you protect your children. Understanding coercive control will. In this episode, Danielle Black explains why protective parents get stuck in the narcissism rabbit hole - and how it can keep them overwhelmed, confused, and focused on the wrong pro...
If Part 1 helped you understand the patterned aspect of coercive control, this episode helps you finally see the harm. In Part 2 of this series, Danielle Black breaks down the 7 child-directed patterns of coercive control - the tactics most family law professionals completely overlook, and the ones that cause the deepest developmental harm to children. Drawing on lived experience, research, and hundreds of real cases, Danielle explains: The 7 ways coercive control targets children, not just ...
Why do family lawyers, mediators, report writers and even judges keep missing what might be painfully obvious to you - that this isn’t “high conflict,” it’s coercive control? And why does that mislabel put your children in danger? In this episode, Danielle Black breaks down the core reason the family law system consistently fails to recognise coercive control: it’s using the wrong framework. While professionals are trained to look for incidents, coercive control is a pattern - and one that di...
Most protective parents assume their lawyer or mediator understands what their children truly need after separation - developmentally, emotionally, and in terms of safety. But the uncomfortable truth is this: lawyers know the law, not child development. They are not trained in coercive control, developmental trauma, or the research that actually predicts how children thrive after separation. In this episode, Danielle explains why you must lead your legal team, not follow them - and why relyin...
It’s one of the hardest parts of post-separation life: your child still loves, misses, or defends the parent who hurt you. In this deeply compassionate episode, Danielle Black explores the grief, anger, and fear beneath that experience - and explains why children often align with the parent who holds the power, not the peace. You’ll learn how unresolved trauma and nervous-system dysregulation affect emotional safety, how to avoid the “mirror trap,” and how to become the lighthouse your child...
Recent reforms in the United Kingdom have shaken the family-law landscape - finally recognising that domestic abuse is not just an adult issue, but a child-safety issue. In this episode, Danielle Black breaks down what’s changing in the UK, what Australia has already reformed on paper, and why our culture and professional ideology are still lagging behind. You’ll hear how both countries are redefining “best interests of the child” to centre safety over shared care, and why this shift is...
When your co-parent’s behaviour never seems to change, it’s easy to believe that peace will only come once they start doing things differently. But waiting for that moment keeps you stuck - exhausted, reactive, and powerless. In this episode, Danielle unpacks what actually changes your life when the chaos doesn’t stop: radical acceptance and building inner capacity. You’ll learn how to stop burning energy trying to hold your ex to account, what “dropping the rope” really means, and how to rec...
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking “My life will only improve when my ex changes,” this episode is for you. In this conversation, Danielle unpacks one of the most common - and painful - thought errors that keeps protective parents trapped in reactivity: believing peace will come only when the other parent behaves differently. You’ll learn why waiting for change keeps you powerless, what true emotional and what emotional and nervous system capacity really means. This episode covers: ...
If you've just received a family report that's gotten it completely wrong, this episode is for you. Today we're talking about the "Ted Bundy Effect" in family court - why professionals consistently miss coercive control even when the evidence is right in front of them - and some of the things that need to be considered when you're contemplating whether to settle or proceed to final trial. In this episode: - The "Ted Bundy Effect": why smart professionals get fooled by surface presentation - R...
The word “trial” shouldn’t mean losing yourself. When the stakes feel sky-high, your greatest asset is your capacity - your ability to stay calm, credible and relentlessly child-focused during your Family Court trial. In this episode, we explore trauma-informed strategies for regulating under pressure so you can show up steady and strategic when it matters most. We discuss simple daily habits that build real courtroom composure - from breathwork and gentle movement to visualisation that...
A bad family report can feel like a punch to the gut - especially when coercive control gets reframed as “conflict” and your protective choices are miscast as gatekeeping. In this episode of The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast, I unpack what to do if your family report or child impact report isn’t in your favour. You’ll learn why these reports go wrong, how to respond with calm and clarity, and how to build a plan that keeps your child’s safety at the centre. We start by resetting expectations:...
Today we’re walking you through a calmer, clearer way to prepare for meeting with a report writer - one grounded in practical tools and a steady presence that keeps your kids front and centre. Rather than chasing perfect responses, we focus on what report writers actually look for. We talk about common traps like over-explaining, minimising hard truths, or subtly pressuring kids, and you’ll hear why “just be honest” is incomplete advice and how calm delivery determines credibility. ...
When a single text can hijack your nervous system, “being strong” isn’t a mindset - it’s a skill you can hone and strengthen. We go behind the scenes of protective parenting and my simple three-step framework (knowledge, capacity, and advocacy) and shine a light on the quiet, invisible work that makes it all come together. Through a powerful client story, we trace the journey from sleepless, fear‑soaked message drafting to calm, clear responses - WITH healthy boundaries, and without the drama...
After separation, our mind can turn into either a sanctuary or a torture chamber. In this episode we touch on neuroplasticity, the brain–body loop, and how visualisation activates many of the same pathways as real experience. From there, we translate insight into action. The goal isn’t to eliminate big, uncomfortable feelings; it’s to build a reliable path back to steadiness so you can respond, not react. If this resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, an...
You know the message you need to send - your body knows it too. The heart race at each notification, the late‑night rehearsals, the drafts you delete because every time you raise a concern it explodes into denial or a character assassination. Today we go straight to that paralysis and unpack why it isn’t a “communication skills” problem at all, but a control dynamic that punishes you for advocating for your kids. Then we offer a practical path out, but none of this sticks without nervous sys...
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