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Description
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
Hosted by Danielle Black
A no-fluff, evidence-based podcast for parents navigating post-separation abuse, family violence, coercive control, and high-conflict separation and divorce - with a relentless focus on protecting children in a system that too often fails them.
Hosted by Danielle Black, Australia’s leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, this podcast is not about "amicable co-parenting at all costs", outdated ideologies, or adult notions of fairness. It is about understanding how abuse frequently continues through parenting arrangements after separation - and what genuinely child-centred decision-making looks like when risk, fear, or power imbalance is present.
Each episode challenges the myths that place children in harm’s way, including Australia’s dangerous obsession with 50/50 shared care, the misapplication of "friendly parent" ideals, and the expectation that protective parents should endlessly compromise to keep the peace.
Drawing on developmental science, research-based evidence, trauma-informed practice, and lived experience, Danielle breaks down:
- How post-separation abuse actually operates
- Why many standard parenting frameworks fail children in high-conflict cases
- What evidence-based, defensible, child-focused parenting really requires
- How to move from confusion and self-doubt to clarity and confidence
This podcast is for parents who are done minimising risk, done being gaslit by systems and professionals, and done prioritising adult comfort over children’s safety and development.
Expect direct language, research-backed insight, practical guidance and a few cuss words here and there - not platitudes, false balance, or pressure to accept arrangements that don’t sit right - because children’s wellbeing matters more than adult fairness. Always.
To go deeper, explore The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™, Danielle’s flagship program supporting parents to make informed, protective decisions after separation.
Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au
Keywords: post-separation abuse, family violence, coercive control, high-conflict parenting, separation, divorce, family court, Australian family law.
93 Episodes
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In this episode, Principal Coach Danielle Black is joined by Senior Coaches Brigid Morgan and Trudie Hargrave to explore what meaningful, professionally held group support actually looks like in post-separation parenting work. Many parents navigating separation want connection - but feel cautious about online forums, unmoderated social media groups, or advice shared without professional understanding of the family law landscape. Following on from last week’s discussion about neuroplasticity a...
If you’ve experienced high-conflict separation, coercive control, other forms of family violence or post-separation abuse, your brain has adapted to help you survive. But survival wiring can make advocacy, decision-making, and communication inside legal and family systems feel overwhelming. In this episode, Danielle Black explains the science of neuroplasticity and how protective parents can intentionally rebuild capacity, confidence, and internal stability - even when external outcomes feel ...
In this episode, Danielle is joined by Senior Coach Brigid Morgan for a warm, honest conversation about post-separation recovery, protective parenting, and why evidence-based, child-focused support matters. We start with a light-hearted chat (morning person or night owl? coffee or tea? beach or mountains?) before moving into deeper conversation about Brigid’s personal post-separation journey, what led her into coaching, and why she is passionate about helping parents step into their role as t...
Considering Separation in 2026? Let’s Talk About the Decision You’re Already Making If you’re listening to this episode, chances are the question isn’t “Should I leave?” It’s “Why am I still here - and what is this costing me and my children?” In this episode, I speak directly to parents who are contemplating separation in 2026 - especially those who have been living in chronic high-conflict, coercive, or emotionally unsafe relationships and are quietly carrying the weight of indecision. We u...
2025 was a big year - for families navigating separation, and for the work we do here at Danielle Black Coaching. In this episode, I’m welcoming you into 2026 by reflecting on what we learned in 2025, what’s coming next, and - most importantly - how to use support wisely as a post-separation parent. I share: Key reflections from 2025 and what they revealed about what parents actually need after separationWhat’s planned for 2026 across coaching, education, and small-group supportFeedback from ...
It’s easy to listen to podcasts, read posts on socials, and consume information… but none of that automatically turns you into the credible, strategic, protective parent you need to be in a post-separation, coercive-control landscape. In this episode, Danielle explores the critical difference between knowing and doing, and why true protective capacity comes from integration, practice, documentation, and nervous system leadership - not passive consuming. If you’ve ever felt informed but still ...
Most parents assume that family law is financially exhausting because lawyers and court processes are inherently expensive. But that's not the full story. Legal fees explode when parents approach their matter reactively instead of strategically. In this powerful episode, Danielle breaks down the core drivers of legal cost blowouts - emotional emails, unclear communication, poorly structured evidence, last-minute affidavits, crisis thinking, and relying on lawyers to interpret chaos rat...
Is 50/50 shared care or equal shared parental responsibility (decision making) automatic in Australia? No - but it is highly likely if protective parents consent to it out of exhaustion. This episode breaks down the biggest myth in post-separation parenting: that courts routinely “order” equal parenting time. In reality, most 50/50 outcomes occur because parents become overwhelmed, under-supported and pressured to agree long before trial. Danielle explains what factors do influence equa...
This episode is a heartfelt message to the parents who have joined The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ or invested in coaching - parents who have chosen courage over comfort, strategy over survival, and capacity over chaos. Danielle speaks directly to those who made the decision to invest not only money, but time, energy, emotional labour and their one precious window to protect their children in a post-separation landscape. In a world where people spend without hesitation on coffee, han...
Do Final Orders mean you're finally safe? Does completing a behaviour change program guarantee transformation? This episode exposes the dangerous myths that leave children unprotected. If you've been told "he's done the program, so things are safe now" or "you have Final Orders, so everything should be fine" – this episode is essential listening. Danielle Black breaks down the research on why: • Behaviour change programs show mixed evidence for sustained change in coercive control patterns ...
If you’ve ever found yourself deep in Google searches trying to work out whether your ex is a covert narcissist, a malignant narcissist, or something in between… this episode is for you. Because here’s the truth: Understanding “narcissism” won’t help you protect your children. Understanding coercive control will. In this episode, Danielle Black explains why protective parents get stuck in the narcissism rabbit hole - and how it can keep them overwhelmed, confused, and focused on the wrong pro...
If Part 1 helped you understand the patterned aspect of coercive control, this episode helps you finally see the harm. In Part 2 of this series, Danielle Black breaks down the 7 child-directed patterns of coercive control - the tactics most family law professionals completely overlook, and the ones that cause the deepest developmental harm to children. Drawing on lived experience, research, and hundreds of real cases, Danielle explains: The 7 ways coercive control targets children, not just ...
Why do family lawyers, mediators, report writers and even judges keep missing what might be painfully obvious to you - that this isn’t “high conflict,” it’s coercive control? And why does that mislabel put your children in danger? In this episode, Danielle Black breaks down the core reason the family law system consistently fails to recognise coercive control: it’s using the wrong framework. While professionals are trained to look for incidents, coercive control is a pattern - and one that di...
Most protective parents assume their lawyer or mediator understands what their children truly need after separation - developmentally, emotionally, and in terms of safety. But the uncomfortable truth is this: lawyers know the law, not child development. They are not trained in coercive control, developmental trauma, or the research that actually predicts how children thrive after separation. In this episode, Danielle explains why you must lead your legal team, not follow them - and why relyin...
It’s one of the hardest parts of post-separation life: your child still loves, misses, or defends the parent who hurt you. In this deeply compassionate episode, Danielle Black explores the grief, anger, and fear beneath that experience - and explains why children often align with the parent who holds the power, not the peace. You’ll learn how unresolved trauma and nervous-system dysregulation affect emotional safety, how to avoid the “mirror trap,” and how to become the lighthouse your child...
Recent reforms in the United Kingdom have shaken the family-law landscape - finally recognising that domestic abuse is not just an adult issue, but a child-safety issue. In this episode, Danielle Black breaks down what’s changing in the UK, what Australia has already reformed on paper, and why our culture and professional ideology are still lagging behind. You’ll hear how both countries are redefining “best interests of the child” to centre safety over shared care, and why this shift is...
When your co-parent’s behaviour never seems to change, it’s easy to believe that peace will only come once they start doing things differently. But waiting for that moment keeps you stuck - exhausted, reactive, and powerless. In this episode, Danielle unpacks what actually changes your life when the chaos doesn’t stop: radical acceptance and building inner capacity. You’ll learn how to stop burning energy trying to hold your ex to account, what “dropping the rope” really means, and how to rec...
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking “My life will only improve when my ex changes,” this episode is for you. In this conversation, Danielle unpacks one of the most common - and painful - thought errors that keeps protective parents trapped in reactivity: believing peace will come only when the other parent behaves differently. You’ll learn why waiting for change keeps you powerless, what true emotional and what emotional and nervous system capacity really means. This episode covers: ...
If you've just received a family report that's gotten it completely wrong, this episode is for you. Today we're talking about the "Ted Bundy Effect" in family court - why professionals consistently miss coercive control even when the evidence is right in front of them - and some of the things that need to be considered when you're contemplating whether to settle or proceed to final trial. In this episode: - The "Ted Bundy Effect": why smart professionals get fooled by surface presentation - R...
The word “trial” shouldn’t mean losing yourself. When the stakes feel sky-high, your greatest asset is your capacity - your ability to stay calm, credible and relentlessly child-focused during your Family Court trial. In this episode, we explore trauma-informed strategies for regulating under pressure so you can show up steady and strategic when it matters most. We discuss simple daily habits that build real courtroom composure - from breathwork and gentle movement to visualisation that...
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