Claim OwnershipSay The Things
Subscribed: 9Played: 252
Subscribe
Description
Are you giving all of your energy to those around you, leaving you feeling empty, disconnected, and resentful, craving connection beyond the four walls of your home?
Do you hide behind surface level conversations because you fear being rejected. If you were to share your actual thoughts?
Do you crave more joy and laughter in your life and wish to feel normal and your uniqueness, and perhaps even accept and embrace it?
Intentionally discover who you are to clearly communicate to deepen relationship, connectivity while honoring your uniqueness.
Do you hide behind surface level conversations because you fear being rejected. If you were to share your actual thoughts?
Do you crave more joy and laughter in your life and wish to feel normal and your uniqueness, and perhaps even accept and embrace it?
Intentionally discover who you are to clearly communicate to deepen relationship, connectivity while honoring your uniqueness.
195 Episodes
Reverse
This week, we're choosing what comes next—your actual values, not the ones you inherited. I'm sharing the moment my therapist asked what values I wanted to bring to parenting and I sat there, speechless, realizing I'd been operating from survival instead of intention. We're examining the heavy list of values we downloaded from the 80s and 90s—perfectionism, productivity as worthiness, self-sacrifice—and exploring a new list that includes rest, joy, enough-ness, and boundaries. Because you can't decide what to release until you're clear about what you need to hold onto and why.
This week I'm naming something I think we've all felt but rarely talk about: the should storm. You know that voice that tells you you're failing at everything while you're just trying to make dinner? I'm walking you through where these thoughts actually come from, why they feel so loud, and a step-by-step process to quiet them. We're getting curious about the beliefs we inherited without choosing them, and we're learning to rewrite the thoughts that drive our most exhausting actions.
I'm kicking off a new series about letting go to uncover who we really are, inspired by John Acuff's Greatest Year Ever course. Just like the trees in fall draw their energy inward and release what no longer serves them, we need to learn to bring our energy back inside and use it with wisdom—not to meet everyone else's needs, but to sustain a healthy life. I've been questioning how our generation fell into the trap of doing all the things for all the people, treating ourselves like machines instead of humans who need rest and restoration. This week, I'm asking you to simply notice what needs to fall away in your life—the commitments, expectations, and beliefs about who you should be that no longer serve the woman you're becoming. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle
Repair is the most skipped step in conflict work, and I've had to do a lot of it with my daughter after years of being too quick, too certain, and too afraid to be vulnerable. Today, I'm breaking down the four components of genuine repair—and why "I'm sorry, but..." will never rebuild what you've broken. This isn't a one-and-done process, and your timeline isn't their timeline—but every time you choose repair over justification, you're teaching the people you love that you're safe. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
Last Tuesday, my daughter came home frustrated and every instinct told me to fix it, control it, be right about it—but I paused and asked her what she thought her options were instead. This week, I'm sharing the specific questions that rewire how conflict happens: what to ask yourself before walking into hard conversations, how to stay present during them, and the reflection work that creates lasting change. Plus, I'm tackling the truth that 80% of conflict has no resolution—and why that's actually okay. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
Turns out, you can't think your way out of a fight-or-flight response—and that's why willpower alone never fixes how we show up in conflict. I'm walking you through what happens in your body during an argument, why my shift from fight to freeze confused my daughter's nervous system, and the practical tools that actually work to regulate yourself before, during, and after conflict. This is where we learn that our bodies aren't broken—they're just protecting us with outdated information. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
I used to be lightning-fast with my words—shutting down arguments before anyone could respond, winning every fight while losing connection. This week, we're getting honest about what we bring to conflict that makes it worse: unprocessed anger, the need to be right, defensiveness, or the ways we disguise control as care. If you're ready to stop having the same fight on different days, this episode is your starting point—because you cannot change what you do not see. Ryan Dunlap: Conflict/ish "Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change." — Jim Rohn https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
Most of us are grinding through life, dismissing the whispers of our body and our relationships because we don't have time to pause. But what if the noise we're taught to manage is actually news—information our lives are desperately trying to send us? I'm breaking down five concrete practices (that won't add to your plate) to help you shift from managing to listening, including nervous system regulation, creating safe space for vulnerability, and moving through stored stress in your body.
A few weeks ago, I did an exercise that completely changed how I see control—and honestly, it pissed me off before it set me free. I drew a circle and listed what I actually control inside it and what I don't outside it, and the truth was brutal: I've been spending most of my energy trying to manage things that were never mine to hold. Today I'm walking you through this exercise and the new soundtracks that are helping me release my grip on other people, outcomes, the past, and the future—so I can finally be present in the one moment I actually have. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
Research shows that trees don't compete for sunlight – they share resources through an underground network, warning each other of dangers and supporting the whole forest's health. I'm exploring how we can shift from competition to collaboration in our relationships, especially when social media makes comparison so tempting. Your community network is probably more abundant than you realize, and it's time to tend to it with the same energy you give everything else in your life. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
In a world where we're constantly fed opinions disguised as facts, I'm sharing the three simple questions that transformed how I process information. We'll explore why being "nice" sometimes means having uncomfortable conversations about truth, and how to navigate conflicting information without losing your sanity. I challenge you to apply these questions to something you encounter this week – because the truth doesn't change according to our ability to stomach it. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
I took an extended summer break and found myself not in the right headspace to return, which got me thinking about the energy we bring into the world. With all the negativity and chaos happening around us—from political unrest to violence—I want to ask: what energy are you contributing? I believe we are literally energetic beings operating at measurable frequencies, and there's science behind how our physical and emotional states affect not just us, but everyone around us. This week, I'm challenging you to pick one thing—whether it's starting a gratitude practice, getting moving outside, or simply noticing your body language—and try it for five days to raise your vibration. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
I'm exploring the connection between self-advocacy and self-silencing as I head into a break because I'm experiencing burnout myself, which feels perfectly timed for this topic. I challenge you to think about how we constantly tell our kids to advocate for themselves while we struggle to do the same, often because we've been conditioned to believe that self-advocacy is selfish when we're supposed to be sensitive to others' needs. I want you to examine where you've been self-silencing - avoiding conflict, neglecting your intuition, or not sharing your desires - and ask yourself what you'd tell a friend in your same situation, because awareness is the catalyst for change and nothing will shift if we keep putting everyone else's needs before our own.
I explore why women negotiate as often as men but succeed only half as often, and how we've been taught to negotiate like men when we should be leveraging our natural relationship-building strengths instead. I share a four-step framework specifically designed for women: reviewing past performance, understanding future vision, making the ask, and ending with collaborative questions that invite others into the solution. I challenge you to recognize that you're already negotiating every day - from managing household responsibilities to resolving conflicts - and it's time to stop settling and start asking for what you truly want using this collaborative approach. Ted: Katherine Valentine
In today's episode, I explored how women can move beyond stereotypical emotional expression by developing emotional intelligence and expanding our emotional vocabulary beyond the mere 20 words most Americans use out of 3,000 available emotion-describing words. I discussed how emotions naturally last only six seconds unless we suppress them, and shared practical strategies like practicing the pause, self-regulation, and becoming more intentional in our responses rather than reactions. My goal is to help you understand that your emotions hold value and provide insight, and by learning to express them more effectively, we can strengthen our relationships, improve our intuition, and even boost our immune systems.
I'm breaking down the ridiculous stereotypes we've been handed about women in conflict – from the "hysterical female" to the "peacekeeper at all costs" – and why these scripts are keeping us small. The research is clear: healthy relationships actually have conflict 20% of the time, and 80% of disagreements aren't meant to be "solved" but understood, which means we need to stop treating conflict like something shameful to hide. I'm sharing specific roles we can step into during conflict that leverage our natural strengths – from Provider to Truth-Teller – so we can move from avoiding conflict to engaging with it skillfully and transforming our relationships in the process.
In this episode, I'm getting vulnerable about my struggle with boundaries, especially with my kids. I share the belief I've been operating under which has led me straight into burnout and resentment territory. I walk through my three-step process for setting clear limits and remind you that when people who've benefited from your lack of boundaries suddenly get challenged by your new ones, that's not yours to fix. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
In this episode, I challenge everything you think you know about assertive communication - it's not about being aggressive or demanding, but about being authentically you through honest, direct, respectful, and appropriate communication. I explore how women especially have been conditioned to prioritize being "kind and soft" over speaking truthfully, and why the people who benefit from us staying quiet wrote those limiting rules in the first place. We'll dive into practical ways to practice healthy communication. Remember, your voice matters, your needs matter, and healthy relationships require all four elements: honesty, directness, respect, and appropriateness - so begin where you are and start saying what you mean. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
Welcome to my new summer series where I'm examining the complex reality of communication as a woman and how we can move beyond limiting social expectations. Despite being raised by women who fought for equality and told we could become anything, we weren't prepared for the challenges we actually face - like being perceived as dominating when we speak just 30% of the time or being interrupted twice as often as men. This series will cover essential skills like assertiveness, boundary setting, and authentic expression because I believe our best communication comes not from following rules to keep everyone comfortable, but from showing up with confidence and our authentic voice. Join me as we become more aware, confident, and at ease with communicating in all areas of our lives.
In this episode, I dive into the exhausting reality of co-parenting with a covert narcissist, sharing real examples from my own experience that will sound painfully familiar to anyone in this situation. I break down four key traits that make co-parenting feel impossible: blame shifting, ruining special occasions, chronic unreliability, and weaponizing children's emotions. Through personal stories—from dangerous unsupervised water activities to last-minute schedule changes—I explore how these patterns affect our kids and why speaking up often makes us look like the problem. If you're questioning your sanity while trying to protect your children from a co-parent who appears decent on the surface but leaves chaos in their wake, this episode is for you. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
Comments
Download from Google Play
Download from App Store
United States