A Chat with Uma
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© Uma R. Chatterjee, M.S., MHPS
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Hi! I'm Uma - a neuroscientist, researcher, board-certified Mental Health Peer Specialist, mental health advocate, organizer, community builder, communicator... and most importantly, someone with vast lived experiences with mental health, chronic illness, young-adult cancer, & survivorship. On this show, I bring all of my identities together to bring you honest and unfiltered conversations exploring our true human experiences in their fullest form. We bridge the gap on all things neuroscience, psychology, mental health, lived experience, advocacy, psychedelics, research, & more!
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On episode 54 of A Chat with Uma, we dive into Part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Rachel Wurzman—a neuroscientist, neuroethicist, therapist, entrepreneur, and lived-experience advocate who has walked through the fire of academia, identity, and survival while holding onto her nonlinear truth.In this second half, Rachel takes us deep into her professional journey: navigating graduate school dysfunction, fighting stigma in the very labs that trained her, and finding ways to keep contributing even when mentors tried to hold her back. She opens up about what it meant to build resilience in the face of sabotage, ableism, sexism, and systemic barriers—and how she reclaimed her place in neuroscience, neuroethics, and innovation. Along the way, she reflects on the power of lived experience in shaping scientific insight, what it means to survive academia without losing yourself, and how embracing her multidisciplinary “many-hatted” identity ultimately became her strength.What emerges is a conversation about persistence, reinvention, and refusing to amputate parts of yourself to fit a mold. Rachel’s story is one of learning to own her voice, design her own path, and use the very struggles that nearly pushed her out of science as fuel to transform it.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Introduction & welcome back to Dr. Rachel Wurzman, PhD!(00:03:00) Entering the lab: Tourette’s, cannabinoids, and turning lived experience into scientific insight(00:10:30) First publications: premonitory urges, sensory neuroscience, and shaping hypotheses through her own body(00:14:00) Visible vs. invisible diagnoses: Tourette’s as “proof,” masking OCD & bulimia, and stigma in neuroscience(00:17:00) Wanting to be a pediatric neurologist: reframing what parents see in their kids(00:24:30) Graduate school reality: dysfunction, ableism, sexism, and the gauntlet of scientific acculturation(00:28:40) Surviving sabotage: rewriting a stigmatizing letter, securing the NRSA, and finding allies(00:33:00) Burnout, isolation, and social anxiety in the PhD years(00:35:30) Thesis defense chaos: stigma exposed, resilience tested, and the relief of moving forward(00:38:40) Rediscovering joy in science: mentorship, collaboration, and falling back in love with research(00:46:00) Neuroethics and responsibility: bridging policy, military neuroscience, and human impact(00:55:00) Becoming “many-hatted”: scientist, therapist, innovator, and entrepreneur shaped by lived experience(01:07:00) Toward humane neurotech: what Rachel is building now and why lived experience must lead the way(01:20:00) Final reflections: persistence, self-trust, and honoring every part of yourselfConnect with Dr. Wurzman!EmailNeuroLivd WebsiteLinkedInFacebookWatch Rachel's TED Talk: How isolation fuels opioid addictionTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work: https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 53 of A Chat with Uma, I sit down with Dr. Rachel Wurzman—a neuroscientist, neuroethicist, therapist, and lived-experience advocate whose story is as nonlinear and multidimensional as the brain itself. Growing up with Tourette’s, OCD, ADHD, and dyscalculia, Rachel learned early what it meant to be brilliant and struggling at the same time. She survived by embracing creativity and theater, channeling her tics and differences into performance and expression, and refusing to flatten herself to fit the mold. In this first half of our conversation, she takes us inside that journey—of identity, family, diagnosis, and the fierce act of owning her many “parts” instead of hiding them.What emerges is a narrative about otherness, resilience, and the refusal to amputate pieces of yourself just to belong. Rachel shares how childhood “weirdness” became survival, how her family scaffolded resilience in formative ways, and how creativity and hyperfixations gave her lifelines. She also opens up about what it means to live as a “many-hatted” person—neuroscientist, therapist, innovator, and advocate—while holding all her lived experience at the center. Part 1 is raw, validating, and deeply human. Part 2, coming next week, follows Rachel into her groundbreaking work at the intersections of neuroscience, neuroethics, and innovation.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Introduction & welcome to Dr. Rachel Wurzman!(00:11:10) Growing up “different”: Tourette’s, ADHD, OCD, and learning to survive as a precocious but struggling kid(00:20:40) How religion, culture, and identity shaping a childhood of not belonging(00:31:40) Family resilience: lessons of CBT at the dinner table & early scaffolding that shaped how she coped(00:36:00) Theater as lifeline: channeling tics into performance, reinventing herself on stage, and finding community through art(00:42:20) Creativity as survival strategy: hyperfixations, crafting, and the role of “obsessions” in keeping her alive(00:49:00) Living in parts: discovering IFS, embracing multiplicity, and refusing to amputate pieces of herself(00:55:20) The turning point: collapsing under the weight of academia & learning to rebuild without losing herself(01:02:00) Choosing integration over boxes—why Rachel has always been “many-hatted” and what it costs to live that way(01:17:40) Building community out of survival: co-founding social-health initiatives rooted in lived experience(01:28:10) Science with responsibility: how neuroethics gave her the language to connect research with humanity(01:38:50) Reclaiming weirdness as power: why embracing her nonlinear brain became the key to resilience(01:54:00) Rachel’s reflections of Part 1: resilience, identity, and the possibility of integrationConnect with Dr. Wurzman!EmailNeuroLivd WebsiteLinkedInFacebookWatch Rachel's TED Talk: How isolation fuels opioid addictionTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work: https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 52 of A Chat with Uma, I sit down with my dear friend & role model, Brandon Staglin—co-founder & Chief Advocacy & Engagement Officer of One Mind, the world’s leading brain health nonprofit. For nearly three decades, Brandon has transformed lived experience into leadership: co-creating a global organization, raising hundreds of millions for brain health research, & pushing society toward a future where mental health is prioritized like physical health. But behind the impact is a deeply personal story—one that began with a diagnosis of schizophrenia at 18 & a fight to reclaim his life, voice, & purpose.Brandon opens up in this honest conversation with rare depth. We walk through his journey from Napa Valley childhood to the terror of psychosis, through recovery & relapse, to the discovery of meaning in advocacy. He shares the cost of stigma, the reality of treatment, the lifeline of family, & the radical belief that worth is inherent—not earned. If you’ve ever wondered what it means to turn survival into legacy, this episode is a testament to courage, connection, & the possibility of healing at scale.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Introduction & welcome to Brandon Staglin, M.S.!(00:09:28) Who is Brandon behind the titles & roles? His upbringing, childhood, & early influences(00:17:48) Early cracks in reality: existential questions, “something’s wrong,” & the first shifts in self(00:29:10) Dartmouth years: When he experienced his first harrowing episode of psychosis(00:39:16) The team that held him: family, early clinicians, & how early intervention saved him(00:50:04) 6 years until the word “schizophrenia”: why “thought disorder” landed better at first(00:51:22) A kitchen table intervention of love: “There’s a lot of love coming from here, Brandon” & choosing to engage in recovery(01:11:00) Setbacks & recalibration: medication side-effects, suicidality, & rebuilding around values(01:28:08) How One Mind was cofounded with his parents to accelerate brain-health solutions (01:37:16) Naming the schizophrenia stigma: what people still say & the cost of silence(01:41:26) The One Mind ecosystem at a glance: Accelerator (mental-health startups), One Mind at Work (workplace mental health), Rising Star Academy (funding & training scientists), & Lived Experience Initiative (Council & Community Advisory Network) (01:45:14) How Brandon built the Lived Experience Initiative: giving lived expertise real power alongside scientific & governance bodies(01:48:26) The Council's profound success thus far: consulting for & advising startup founders, research scientists, & Fortune-level leaders(01:55:26) The annual One Mind Music Festival for Brain Health: raising hundreds of millions for brain health research & innovation, bringing together leaders & stakeholders across all fields(02:00:02) Closing reflections, guidance, & inspiration from BrandonConnect with Brandon!EmailLinkedInInstagramX/Twitter: @BStaglinOne Mind WebsiteWatch Brandon's recovery song performanceTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work: https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 51 of A Chat with Uma, I sit down with Dr. Boris Heifets, MD, PhD—associate professor at Stanford, anesthesiologist, neuroscientist, & one of the most extraordinary scientists & clinicians who is truly revolutionizing mental health! He pushes the boundaries of how we approach consciousness, mental health, & pharmacology—asking questions most people are too afraid to traverse: Do we need to be awake for drugs to heal the brain? What exactly are ketamine, MDMA, & psilocybin doing when they flip a circuit? Could anesthesiology itself hold keys to psychiatry’s future?And yet what makes Boris remarkable isn’t only the science—it’s who he is. Over two hours, he shares not just his cutting-edge research but his story: moving from Moscow to the U.S., struggling with belonging, discovering MDMA & LSD in college, & how those experiences of connection still shape his lab’s vision today. We explore MDMA for OCD & autism, the limits of “magic bullet” thinking, why context & lifestyle matter more than a single intervention, & how anesthesiology lets him practice applied neuroscience in real time. If you want to understand where psychiatry is heading & hear from one of field's foremost minds, this is an episode you cannot miss.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Introduction & welcome to Dr. Boris Heifets, MD, PhD!(00:08:44) How Boris & I first met, & why I've admired him since!(00:11:00) Who Boris is beyond titles: curiosity, sci-fi imagination, & breaking boundaries(00:16:00) Childhood across Moscow, Denver, St. Louis, Philly → disconnection & search for belonging(00:17:30) College discoveries: MDMA & LSD → the shock of true connection(00:19:30) MDMA for autism spectrum: Alicia Danforth’s trial & showing connection for the first time(00:22:00) Psychedelics as tools, not cures → lifestyle & comorbidities vs. one-day interventions(00:27:00) How reductionistic models fail to capture what psychedelics actually do(00:31:00) Anesthesiology + psychiatry + neuroscience → how Boris integrates it all(00:36:40) Applied neuroscience: giving drugs, flipping brain states in real time(00:43:00) Why mental health was always his focus & the bottlenecks of human communication(01:00:00) Translational bridge: MDMA, ketamine, psilocybin across mice & humans(01:12:00) What anesthesiology teaches psychiatry about states, context, & timing(01:25:00) Team science vs. lone-genius myth → collaboration, controversy, courage(01:36:00) What makes psychedelic medicine powerful: bending life trajectories, not instant cures(01:45:00) How to measure outcomes when the drug is just the beginning(01:55:00) Risks, hype, & how to ground the field in reality without losing hope(02:10:00) Closing reflections: radical curiosity, gratitude, & staying human in the scienceConnect with Dr. Boris Heifets!Heifets Lab WebsiteRead Boris' publications hereEmailX/Twitter: @TheBorisLabLinkedInTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work: https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest request? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 50 of A Chat with Uma, we flip the script: my husband, Zac, takes the host chair and interviews me—for our first-ever in-person recording! To celebrate 50 episodes, we go wide and deep; and what he pulls out surprised even me. We trace how I went from barely hanging on to betting my life on the brain; the awe (and pressure) of studying the most complex thing in the universe; what I’d do with myself if science vanished tomorrow (hello, cheese); and the version of me that only exists when the door is closed.We pull apart internet myths about “bought” science and where NIH money actually goes; why diagnoses are both blunt instruments and lifelines; and the chapter I almost never reopen—the singer I was before cancer changed my voice. Zac asks the one question I’d ask the universe. And yes, we lock in a carrot for interviewing HIM on episode 100. Plus, our doggy Beans makes a cameo! This is the deepest cut yet: Zac’s questions pull threads I’d never tug on by myself, and tune in to hear the most open, unmasked conversation I’ve recorded.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) He finally said yes!: A little bit about Zac, my (VERY private & offline) husband & why he's here today(00:05:12) Rapid-fire kickoff questions... that of course, stump me(00:09:18) Top 5 Dream Guests + WHY—the most interesting person I know, 2 scientists, a novelist, & a grunge legend…and Beans joins us!(00:14:10) The next 25 years of brain science I’m betting on: precision, prevention, seeing the unseen(00:18:46) If I lost it all tomorrow: the soft life, making cheese, and a totally different mission(00:26:40) When the mic turns off: how I act when no one’s around(00:30:56) For anyone who feels “unworthy”: thoughts aren’t facts—and what kept me here(00:36:06) Is science “bought”? The truth about NIH grants, salaries, and where the money goes(00:54:20) The take most people avoid: diagnoses are blunt tools—and still lifesaving(01:05:36) The chapter I rarely reopen: the singer I was before surgery changed my voice (ft. how I opened for Morgan Wallen)(01:11:32) If we cured mental illness, what happens to art?(01:18:40) The one question I’d ask the universe—and why it feels like cheating(01:21:12) Why this episode felt different than any other—and the carrot we just hung for interviewing Zac on episode 100!Try CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work:https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 49 of A Chat with Uma, I’m back for a solo heart-to-heart with you about the painful circumstances I've been navigating recently. The show has been growing fast (hi, Ologies friends!), & I’ve been prioritizing platforming other voices. But I never want that to crowd out the core of this show: honest conversation about the realities living with serious mental illness, even while building a life in recovery. Today, I walk you through the last two months—an abrupt depressive crash, masking vs. unmasking with people in my life, navigating crisis at the IOCDF conference, & what I learned when I whispered, “Can anybody even hear me?” in the middle of the worst trip I’ve had in years.I also share a major health update: I’m starting a two-week course of radiation to image/treat my metastatic thyroid cancer. I explain what that entails (going temporarily hypothyroid), how I’m preparing, & why I’m treating this forced pause as an exposure for unstructured time—leaning into skills, not compulsions. I hope this honest episode helps you feel seen, & helps the people around you understand the reality beneath a functioning exterior. I promise, you're NOT alone.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Intro to the episode: Unmasking on a new level, combatting the shame & isolation of severe mental illness, & the core of this showContextual episodes:01. My Full Story: 0 to 2602-05. My Mental Health Journey: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 506. Yes, I've Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher: Pt 1, Part 207-08. The Ketamine Diaries - OCD, PTSD, Depression, & Chronic Pain: Part. 1, Part 2(00:17:34) Where I’ve been: severe treatment-resistant depression history & OCD/comorbidity context(00:22:04) The psilocybin cycle: why I delay it, growing windows of relief…until a sudden crash this June(00:26:00) From anxiety to full-blown unexpected depression episode: hormones, paralysis, & masking through obligations(00:31:58) Everything collides: upcoming IOCDF conference, busiest season of my nonprofit, grants, PhD experiments, friends visiting, & cancer treatment news(00:35:40) My breaking point & why I posted the “in-it” photo (being believed vs. pedestal-ing)(00:43:28) IOCDF while depressive crisis: unmasking in real time, doing the psychedelics panel, & what you didn’t see... being stuck in my room, unable to speak, paralyzed, & at the brink of leaving daily(00:54:54) After the con: finishing lab work on fumes & needing to intervene with psilocybin(00:59:00) The trip: worst yet, loss of insight, & the moment of “I need help—can anyone hear me?”(01:05:28) The realization: feeling deeply unseen + invalidated, the pedestal effect, & finally asking for help in all parts of my life(01:12:04) Cancer treatment update: 2 weeks of radiation & what the results will show(01:16:20) Using forced rest as ERP for unstructured time, intrusive thoughts, & rumination(01:18:00) What’s next: Ep. 50, the crux of this show, & our journey togetherTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work:https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 48 of A Chat with Uma, I sit down with psychiatrist–neuroscientist Dr. Martijn Figee, MD., PhD—director of Mount Sinai’s Interventional Psychiatry Program & a groundbreaking pioneer in neurostimulation (e.g. DBS, TMS) for psychiatric disorders, especially OCD & depression—for a clear, grounded tour of circuit‑based psychiatry. This is the science companion to last week’s episode with Jon Nelson (ep. 47): today's episode builds on Jon's lived experience to explain how & why the brain can change (in minutes!) when the right circuit is engaged. We unpack deep brain stimulation (DBS) surgery & transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), what “target selection” actually means, & how phenotyping (motor, cognitive, & negative‑affect circuits) guides targeting.We also get practical: access & eligibility, what insurers & clinicians look for, when to choose TMS first, & how accelerated TMS paired with ERP can fast‑track change. We bust myths (OCD ≠ “just the amygdala”) & look ahead to biotyping work designed to match people to the right target the first time--a real step toward precision psychiatry. If you want a rigorous, hopeful explainer of why electricity can be medicine & what that means for folks suffering, this episode shares everything you need to know from the world's expert!Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Welcome & introduction to Dr. Martijn Figee!(00:11:50) Who is Martijn beyond titles: psychiatrist–scientist mindset & science as the backbone(00:17:00) From Amsterdam to DBS: imaging arrives, early OCD DBS cases, & changes in minutes(00:30:00) Circuit basics: motor–cognitive–limbic loops across OCD, Tourette, depression(00:35:52) Evidence‑based OCD care: ERP + adequate‑dose meds; why misdiagnosis/mistreatment delays recovery(00:45:30) Comorbidity vs. one driver: how untreated OCD breeds depression—& why it changes the treatment plan(00:51:00) From presentation to target: phenotyping (negative affect vs compulsion/motor vs cognitive) to pick a target(01:10:00) TMS before DBS? Standard vs accelerated TMS & pairing every session with ERP; access & insurance(01:21:20) DBS candidacy & access: OCD is FDA‑approved; depression is trial‑only; what insurers & teams look for(01:25:40) Targeting, not guessing: ALIC/internal capsule, STN, BNST & fiber‑map guidance pushing outcomes toward ~80%(01:27:40) Where to go: Sinai, Baylor, UCSF—why experience & proximity matters(01:29:50) Biotyping with in-scan tasks: motor/cognitive/limbic dominance; what scans can (& can’t) diagnose—yet(01:33:50) Who isn’t a fit & plan B: non‑ambulatory severity, hoarding‑only presentations, & the role of lesions(01:35:30) Myth‑busting: OCD ≠ an “amygdala disorder,” & why the amygdala isn’t a sensible target(01:38:10) Depression biotypes: switching off pathological “grief” loops; interview‑driven med algorithms & next stepsConnect with Dr. Martijn Figee!Email: martijn.figee@mssm.eduTRANSCEND Trial: DBS for treatment-resistant depressionDBS for OCDTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work: https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest request? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 47 of A Chat with Uma, I sit down with my dear friend Jon Nelson—lived-experience mental health expert & longtime healthcare comms exec—whose decade of treatment-resistant depression nearly killed him before an experimental deep brain stimulation (DBS) surgery flipped the circuit & brought instant remission in 2022. Jon shares the unfiltered, brutal reality of suicidal depression & how anger became fuel for advocacy. We trace his decade of every failed treatment—while his wife & kids bore the invisible trauma of caregiving.He breaks down the difference between sadness & clinical disease, the neurological reality of “choosing life,” & why suicidality is a symptom—not a character flaw. Mid-episode, his psychiatrist Dr. Martijn Figee joins to unpack their shared experience of navigating DBS. Equal parts remission, reclamation, and rebellion—Jon turns survival into a movement to pulverize the stigma of serious mental illness. And come back next week for a solo episode with Dr. Figee, deep-diving into the science of DBS!Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Introduction & welcome to Jon!(00:08:40) Where does Jon come from? Upbringing, background, formative years(00:18:50) Dislocation at 16 → situational depression, honing empathy; college & NYC healthcare advertising years(00:30:40) The descent: depression as cellular “poison,” initial denial, & suicidality as symptom—not weakness, drama, or moral failing(00:49:30) The caregiver toll: bathtub breakdowns, kids’ confusion, insurance combat, financial strain(00:57:30) A decade of failed interventions: 10+ meds, ketamine (IV & nasal), 36 TMS, 11 ECT (memory loss), residential & PHP/IOP cycles(01:22:00) Absolute hopelessness, stigma, & the slim reason to stay(01:28:40) Deep Brain Stimulation prep: trial entry, consent, mindset, surgical risks(01:34:00) Switch flipped: activation, instant remission, and the shock of neutral daily life(01:37:10) Relief & righteous anger: gratitude colliding with a decade of preventable suffering(01:41:00) Dr. Martijn Figee, Jon's psychiatrist: translating “poison” affect into subcallosal cingulate circuit target(01:48:10) Phenotype → target: differentiating negative affect circuitry from OCD loops, guiding lead (or TMS coil) placement(01:52:30) Toward precision psychiatry: circuit diagnostics over trial‑and‑error pharmacology(01:55:00) Pulverize The Stigma: public truth‑telling, rejecting “difficult to treat,” anger as disciplined fuel(01:57:30) Centering caregivers: invisible labor, secondary trauma, & shared remission(01:59:40) Advocacy blueprint: accountability for insurers, institutions, & language reform(02:02:00) Redefining recovery as access to ordinary life & collective responsibilityConnect with Jon!Website: Pulverize The StigmaInstagram: @PulverizeTheStigmaLinkedInEmail: jon@pulverizethestigma.comConnect with Dr. Martijn Figee:Email: martijn.figee@mssm.eduTRANSCEND Trial: DBS for treatment-resistant depressionDBS for OCDTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work: https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 46 of A Chat with Uma, I speak with Dr. Ya’el Courtney—a neuroscientist whose life traverses extreme circumstances that most only read about. Removed from an abusive, violent, fundamentalist household at 15, she spent her teen years couch-surfing, battling eating disorders & self-harm, working night shifts, & finishing high school coursework as her own teacher. She forged a transcript to escape poverty, later confessed, earned a GED, &—after years of 40-hour workweeks in fast food & bartending—won a full scholarship to Kent State. Ya’el’s love of science carried her to Harvard for a PhD in Neuroscience, where she discovered how serotonin-sensing cells in the fetal brain release “packets” of growth signals—& why activating that pathway with certain drugs (including psychedelics) can derail neurodevelopment.Today, she is a Jane Coffin Childs postdoctoral fellow at Stanford, studying how infections such as Epstein–Barr, Lyme, & SARS-CoV-2 spark long-term neurological illness. We talk frankly about the cost of doing science while poor, eating disorder recovery, post-viral chronic illnesses, & the quiet solidarity required to push for better funding & fair wages inside elite institutions. Ya’el’s story is a testament to the power of showing up anyway—of choosing truth, carving out possibility where none existed, & daring to build a future no one handed you. Her courage & brilliance make this one of the most unforgettable conversations we’ve had.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Introduction & welcome to Dr. Ya’el Courtney!(00:13:20) State intervention, bouncing between homes, & the decision to stay alive(00:20:30) Shoplifting for food & clothes; straight-A validation at school(00:27:10) Anorexia ➝ bulimia ➝ binge eating: control in chaos(00:33:50) Self-harm as dopamine; reading the DSM & misdiagnosing herself a “psychopath”(00:42:00) Forged transcripts, expulsions, confession, & landing at Kent State(00:49:30) Working 40 h/week while carrying a full course load & unpaid lab hours(00:58:00) Strep + mono, months of cognitive fog, & a commitment to protect sleep(01:05:30) Summer REUs, research productivity, & graduating debt-free(01:12:10) Seven grad school offers—strategy, letters, & the essay that changed everything(01:20:30) Choosing a PhD mentor who defended boundaries & a 50-hour work cap(01:28:40) PhD findings: choroid plexus secretory “balloons,” 5-HT2C signaling, & prenatal drug risk(01:38:10) LSD, psilocybin, & why pregnant or breastfeeding people should avoid them (for now)(01:44:30) COVID’s silver lining: new funding for post-viral brain research(01:49:00) Stanford postdoc: unraveling immune-triggered neurodegeneration in long COVID & Lyme(01:54:00) Making science accessible: “Let the Data Speak”(01:59:20) Closing reflections: turning survival skills into a blueprint for the next generationConnect with Ya'el!WebsiteInstagram: @Yael.Carmel, @LetTheDataSpeakLinkedInX/Twitter: @ScienceYaelBluesky: @ScienceYaelYouTubeTikTok: @LetTheDataSpeakFacebookTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work: https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 45 of A Chat with Uma, I sit down with Scott Kelsey—mental health advocate, former pro-hockey player, fellow One Mind Lived Experience Council member, and founder + CEO of Shareapy, a platform dedicated to transforming mental health support through peer-driven connections. Scott opens up about his decades-long journey with anxiety & depression, unfolding during & after his five-season run in professional hockey during a time when “mental health” wasn’t spoken of. From mislabeling early symptoms as “just post-concussion stuff” to confronting depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and substance use, he shares what it took to finally acknowledge his mental health and start healing.A near-fatal brain injury in 2018 became the turning point that sparked sobriety, therapy, and ultimately, the creation of Shareapy—born from a realization that we all need easier, safer ways to feel truly seen, heard, and supported. What started as a simple experiment in peer connection is now a global community breaking stigma around mental health and wellness. This episode shares Scott’s profound story of transforming the pain of suffering in silence into a purpose rooted in vulnerability, connection, & helping others share their authentic selves.Scott Kelsey is the Founder & CEO of Shareapy. With over 20 years of leadership experience in the financial and mortgage sectors, he has a strong track record of driving innovation and growth. He is also a passionate advocate for reducing the stigma surrounding mental health. He has served on several nonprofit boards and is actively involved in mentoring emerging leaders. He’s a dedicated volunteer and often participates in initiatives aimed at improving community well-being.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Introduction & welcome to Scott Kelsey!(00:05:26) Early childhood: Gratitude, reflections, & growing up in the 70's with no mental health awareness(00:13:28) Finding hockey: following his inspiration in his big brother & progressing into college hockey(00:19:00) Signing pro hockey contracts, frequent transitions, & navigating his 5 season career(00:25:26) 1995 neuro-psych eval: mislabeling concussion symptoms vs. clinical anxiety & depression(00:33:14) Coping with booze, locker-room culture & “taking the edge off”(00:43:00) First full-blown panic attack, ER visit, pericarditis—and finally trying medication(00:52:30) Mortgage-industry rise, marriage, kids…and the slow burn of unmanaged mental load(01:02:00) April 7 2018: falling down the basement stairs, three brain hemorrhages & a second chance at life(01:10:00) A complete transformation: Immersing himself in therapy, sobriety, & peer support(01:18:00) “Why isn’t there an easier way to do this?” The founding origin story of Shareapy(01:22:00) Scaling Shareapy worldwide: the reality of founding a company, training facilitators, specialized affinity groups, & Men’s Mental HealthConnect with Scott!Check out Shareapy today!Instagram: @SKelsey18, @ShareapyLinkedIn: Scott Kelsey, ShareapyEmail: scott@shareapy.comTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work: https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 44 of A Chat with Uma, I'm here for an (unexpected) solo episode to give you a full-length, 360° “State-of-the-Union” of my life for 2025. 2.5 years have flown by since my original intro episodes, and new listeners are still meeting a 2023 snapshot that’s quite outdated. Today I lay out—clearly and in one place—everything I’m doing now and why it matters: my neuroscience research, science communication, lived experience advocacy (plus the intersection of all 3), and my current leadership and service roles.I trace the through-line from my lived experience to every research question, keynote, grant review, and board seat, and I end with the mission that stitches it all together: shrink the treatment gap, save lives, and make myself obsolete. If you’re new, this is the ground-floor tour; if you’ve been here since episode 1, it’s the missing chapter that connects every choice I’ve made in the past several years!Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Introduction and reason for today's episode(00:07:06) Road-map for this “State-of-the-Union” + core mission statement(00:15:24) My lived-experience backstory and WHY that drives every decisionContextual episodes:01. My Full Story: 0 to 2602-05. My Mental Health Journey: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 506. Yes, I've Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher: Pt 1, Part 207-08. The Ketamine Diaries - OCD, PTSD, Depression, & Chronic Pain: Part. 1, Part 2(00:20:48) PhD Research Update: An overview of my OCD (+ bipolar & schizophrenia!) research projects–genes, neurobiology, signaling pathways, psychedelics, & more(00:38:06) Science communication: closing the researcher–lived experience gap(00:43:42) Mental health advocacy: using my story to raise large-scale awareness in the public and within research populations(00:53:06) Service & leadership: President of OCD Wisconsin, One Mind Lived Experience Council, board member of Society for Neuroscience-Upper Midwest Chapter, ad-hoc advising + grant reviewer + committee roles, strategic consulting for companies(01:11:34) Pulling all the strands together—my mission and what comes nextTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work:https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 43 of A Chat with Uma, you have me for a solo episode where I share a huge life update that I'm living through in real time: after two solid years of showing me that recovery is actually possible, my therapist is moving across the world. Cue the whiplash of shock, grief, fear, and every intrusive “I-told-you-so” thought my OCD could cook up. In this episode, I walk you through the journey to and through here:the graveyard of 22 misdiagnoses and sketchy therapists that led me herethe two-year miracle run that dragged my OCD from extreme to moderate, and finally let me do PTSD treatment for the first timethe absolute terror of starting over when your brain insists your healing is completely dependent on one personplus the messy, beautiful chance to practice everything I preach about uncertainty, self-trust, and living in the gray area.If you’ve ever lost a clinician, feared your progress would vanish, or just need someone to hold the gray with you—you're not alone. I’m processing this in real time, and so grateful to move through this with you.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Welcome to today's solo episode and why I'm sharing this today, in the midst of it all unfoldingContextual episodes:01. My Full Story: 0 to 2602-05. My Mental Health Journey: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 506. Yes, I've Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher: Pt 1, Part 207-08. The Ketamine Diaries - OCD, PTSD, Depression, & Chronic Pain: Part. 1, Part 2(00:11:08) Well... my therapist is moving overseas.(00:15:45) The past that led me here: 22 ineffectual clinicians, past abusive therapy, and insurance purgatory(00:22:10) Finding the clinician in Wisconsin & betting my last hope on her(00:28:05) Progress report: moderate Y-BOCS (!!), but back-door spikes are real(00:31:40) First sustained PTSD written exposures—childhood SA target, SUDS going down for the first time!(00:34:25) Why losing this therapist feels like losing gravity(00:42:50) Letting myself grieve this therapeutic relationship (permission granted)(00:55:30) Transition plan: new ERP clinician (who mentored my current one!) + somatic work(01:02:00) Exposure inside the exposure: trusting that this safe experience taught me what to look for in the future(01:06:40) The transition countdown, practicing radical acceptance, holding the both-and, living in the gray areaTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work:https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 42, I sit down with my dear friend, Alie Bernard Garza, LCSW—a therapist, advocate, & survivor whose life reads like an impossible novel: childhood autoimmune disease, undiagnosed OCD & ADHD, a high-control evangelical cult, multiple psychiatric hospitalizations, near-death medical crises, & eventually, a 38/40 Y-BOCS spiral that forced her into residential ERP. That would be more than enough for most lifetimes—yet in 2022, she suffered a near-fatal brain aneurysm that turned her worst health-OCD fears into terrifying reality. In this raw, unfiltered, & morbidly hilarious conversation, Alie tells the truth about what it's like to live inside a brain that won’t stop screaming—& how she finally found peace, purpose, & power on the other side.Alie Bernard Garza, LCSW, is a specialist in the treatment of OCD & anxiety-related disorders based in Denver, Colorado. She holds an MSW, has worked across all levels of care—IOP, PHP, residential, & inpatient, & is deeply committed to neurodivergent-affirming care, particularly for individuals with ADHD & Autism. Alie also specializes in supporting parents, families, adolescents, & young adults as they navigate complex mental health challenges. Through her own lived experience of severe OCD & advocacy, Alie brings both professional expertise & a deeply personal understanding to her work.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Introduction & welcome to Alie!(00:06:20) Who is Alie? Cackling loudly, caring deeply, and keeping it real(00:17:10) Little Alie: Ontario winters, early-onset autoimmune illness, & toddler OCD traits(00:21:00) School refusal, character shaming, and the fallout of mislabeling neurodivergence(00:27:30) Baby carrot fingers, Harm OCD, robot-Dad obsessions, & mental compulsions in silence(00:31:35) Health OCD, bent-knee lip-syncing, & OCD invisibility in high school(00:38:00) How a youth-ministry cult fulfilled every OCD need for certainty & hyperresponsiblity(00:45:00) Age 15 inpatient psych stay, OCD diagnosis, depression & suicidality, & being incorrectly treated with hypnosis(01:00:00) Alternative high school pivot & graduating early(01:10:00) Evangelical college, gallstone crash, and inpatient hell at 17(01:17:00) Harm OCD meets ministry work: “swerve the car” & looping thoughts(01:27:00) Excommunicated: blacklisted as “dangerous,” unraveling in isolation(01:35:00) Youth residential jobs, MSW training, and surviving without treatment(01:42:00) COVID collapse: health OCD, full agoraphobia, extreme OCD, & being unable to eat or drink(01:49:00) Finally accessing evidence-based OCD treatment, residential treatment saving her life, becoming an OCD specialist(02:05:09) Near-fatal brain aneurysm: when your worst health obsession becomes reality, and how OCD treatment saved her life(02:10:49) Launching OCD & Anxiety Colorado, neurodivergent-affirming family-inclusive IOPs, & creating the resources that she once neededConnect with Alie!WebsiteInstagram: @Alie.Garza, @OCDAnxietyColoradoLinkedIn: Alie, OAPEmail: alie@ocdanxietycolorado.comTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work:https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 41 of A Chat with Uma, we pick up right where we left off with Dr. Maya Schumer—a psychiatric neuroscientist who studies bipolar disorder, the very illness she lives with. In Part 2, Maya walks us through her PhD and Postdoc research thus far: the largest functional-MRI meta-analysis ever published at the time, 3 independent risk-cohort replications, and analyzing first-episode mania datasets. We dig into the honest reality of doing cutting-edge science while your brain is the very object of study—managing chronic suicidality, navigating disclosure, unlearning internalized (& reinforced) stigma, and redefining resilience beyond survival. Dr. Maya Schumer is a psychiatric neuroscientist & postdoctoral researcher who studies—& has lived experience with—Bipolar Disorder. Maya received her PhD in neuroscience from the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine in 2023 mentored by Dr. Mary Phillips, where she used task-based functional neuroimaging & coordinate-based meta-analysis to identify reproducible & replicable neural network markers of bipolar disorder risk. Currently, Maya is a postdoctoral fellow at McLean Hospital, an affiliate of Harvard Medical School. Mentored by Dr. Dost Öngür, Maya examines resting-state functional connectivity patterns & neural network dynamics across different stages & mood states in bipolar disorder, with an overall goal to model its dynamic nature.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Welcome back to Maya! Quick recap of Part 1 & why you need it for context! LISTEN HERE(00:09:20) How Maya survived a PhD while in hell: mentors, support, and scope-control(00:11:00) fMRI 101—bold signals, task vs. resting state, and default-mode rumination(00:14:58) The heterogeneity problem: why three decades of bipolar imaging rarely replicate(00:17:30) Building a 205-study meta-analysis & finding new network players in the neurobiology of bipolar disorder(00:24:46) The shocking shortage of mania/mixed-state scans—and why it matters for biomarkers(00:26:56) Young-adult risk cohorts & the 169-item Mood Spectrum Self-Report(00:29:54) Replicating mania- vs. depression-specific connectivity across three datasets(00:33:00) Maya’s postdoc research: first-episode mania, mixed states, & siblings at risk(00:41:36) Discovering a stigma-smashing research environment at McLean(00:44:24) From patient to PI: lining up K-award goals while battling urgency & perfectionism(00:59:00) Compliance vs. acceptance: managing stability without pathologizing every human feeling(01:05:50) Internalized ableism, masking mania, & the myth of “functional” bipolar(01:14:06) Time lost to our illnesses, managing the standards of academia, & recalibrating worth(01:20:00) When the work keeps you alive but the workload can kill you(01:38:00) How our illnesses are simultaneously sensationalized AND stigmatized (01:44:50) Final reflections: will to live, redefining resilience, & building a new future for our fieldConnect with MayaLinkedInX/Twitter: @SchumerMayaRead her research on ResearchGateEmail: maya.schumer@gmail.comTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work:https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 40 of A Chat with Uma, I sit down with my dear friend Dr. Maya Schumer—a psychiatric neuroscientist who studies bipolar disorder, the very illness she lives with. She shares her full experience across 3 decades: growing up with a father with bipolar 1 disorder, how her own bipolar 2 diagnosis morphed into bipolar 1, several hospitalizations, her relationship with lithium, chronic suicidality, metabolic psychiatry, IV ketamine, TMS, & redefining "stability." If you've ever struggled with chronic suicidality, felt the weight of stigma in academia, or questioned what makes life worth holding onto—this conversation is for you. Maya’s story is one of survival, honesty, & the power of turning pain into purpose. Dr. Maya Schumer is a psychiatric neuroscientist & postdoctoral researcher who studies—& has lived experience with—Bipolar Disorder. Maya received her PhD in neuroscience from the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine in 2023, where she used task-based functional neuroimaging & coordinate-based meta-analysis to identify reproducible & replicable neural network markers of bipolar disorder risk. Currently, Maya is a postdoctoral fellow at McLean Hospital, an affiliate of Harvard Medical School. Mentored by Dr. Dost Öngür, Maya examines resting-state functional connectivity patterns & neural network dynamics across different stages & mood states in bipolar disorder, with an overall goal to model its dynamic nature.Maya’s passion for research is informed by her own lived experience. In her role as a researcher with lived experience, she aims to address & dismantle the stigma surrounding serious mental illnesses (SMIs), make academia & research environments more inclusive & accommodating for those with disabilities; & advocate for meaningful co-production between individuals with lived experience & scientists.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Introduction & welcome to Maya!(00:14:00) Artist → neuroscientist plot-twist(00:17:46) Creativity, bipolar, & the Kaye Redfield Jamison spark(00:20:26) How & why we met on X/Twitter, defying the norms of academia, & building a movement together(00:26:30) Ableism in research spaces & how we fight back(00:31:34) Childhood in bipolar’s shadow: therapy at three & “casserole syndrome”(00:38:42) Stigma lessons, dignity, & mourning a living ghost(00:43:02) College crash: color-coding moods → diagnosis at 20(00:46:30) Types I & II, mixed states, spectrum—& living every corner of it(00:53:00) Compliance ≠ acceptance: owning the illness vs. just taking meds(01:05:52) Losing sleep, losing friendships, & the 24/7 second job of self-monitoring(01:17:46) Seasonal mood whiplash & March-mania defenses(01:22:54) Keto, & lithium 2.0(01:34:12) Daily IV ketamine infusions, accelerated TMS, & embracing pluralism(01:44:30) A brutally honest & necessary conversation about chronic suicidality + harm reduction(01:52:00) Redefining stability, building lived-experience science, & preview to part 2Connect with MayaLinkedInX/Twitter: @SchumerMayaRead her research on ResearchGateEmail: maya.schumer@gmail.comTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work:https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 39 of A Chat with Uma, I invite my dear friend Tracie Ibrahim, LMFT, CST to tell her full survivorship story of 29 psychiatric hospitalizations, misdiagnoses of schizophrenia & homicidality, childhood abuse, & a mental-health system that nearly killed her—until she learned the name of the monster (OCD) & fought back with exposure & response prevention. Tracie’s journey, like her, is messy, punk-rock, & heartbreakingly human, all at once: sneaking out of locked wards, filing her own writ of habeas corpus at 15, raising three kids while “raw-dogging” her mental health, & finally transforming the shame of harm, suicidal, & contamination OCD into a career as NOCD’s Chief Compliance Officer & the Instagram beacon “@TabooTracie." If you’ve ever felt defective, dangerous, or beyond help, this episode is a hug, a battle cry, & a masterclass in radical self-acceptance.Tracie Ibrahim, LMFT, CST, has 20+ years of experience in providing mental health services. Her specialization is treating OCD, anxiety & related disorders & depression, alongside a spectrum of issues affecting the LGBTQIA+ community, & issues with sexual health & functioning. Her expertise has been utilized to create high-quality programs addressing the increasing need for evidence-based counseling interventions. Currently serving as NOCD's Chief Compliance Officer, Tracie focuses on creating & implementing evidence-based treatment & compliance programs. Her passion for OCD treatment & advocacy work stems from managing her own OCD for 40+ years & raising children with OCD, anxiety, depression & neurodiversity.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Introduction & welcome to Tracie!(00:10:06) “Who is Tracie behind the titles?”—hover-mom, punk soul, universal acceptor(00:15:00) The first cracks: magical-thinking OCD at age 4, nightmares, divorce(00:20:00) Abuse, police indifference, & a 10-year-old’s first involuntary hold(00:26:00) Cutting, suicidal rituals, being considered homicidal, misdiagnosis of schizophrenia(00:31:00) Oppositional defiance label → transfer to county lockdown(00:37:00) Life inside Camarillo State Hospital with a roommate who’d murdered her family(00:43:30) Filing a writ of habeas corpus—& winning her own release at 15(00:51:00) Surviving residential care, starting community college(00:56:30) Discovering ERP & real OCD on Google, self-experimenting with money exposures(01:03:00) Turning pain into purpose: training clinicians, supervising interns(01:10:30) From therapist to NOCD’s Chief Compliance Officer—scaling ethical care(01:19:00) TabooTracie is born: why she tackles pedophilia, harm & suicide themes online(01:24:00) Living proof: managing daily suicidal OCD while medication-resistant(01:30:40) Reconciling with grief, advocacy as turning pain into purpose, & raising children(01:37:50) The differences between pedophilia OCD vs. true pedophilia(01:46:30) The anatomy of intrusive thoughts, urges, and compulsions in plain language(01:52:00) Closing reflections, rapid-fire questionsConnect with Tracie!Instagram: @TabooTracieLinkedIn: Tracie Ibrahim, LMFT, CSTTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work:https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 38 of A Chat with Uma, I reflect on both my 29th birthday & 6th anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. I share a live, raw, completely unedited account of everything rising to the surface as I turn 29. I speak at length about the awe and gratitude I feel for still being here + alive, and remember how staying on this planet for this long once felt utterly impossible. I talk through the rapid transformation of life that has unfolded since cancer, and all the recovery and reckoning that has followed—how wildly different everything looks compared with anything I could’ve imagined. I speak candidly about my current state of being, including the full spectrum of emotions that arrive when my birthday and my cancerversary land back-to-back. I walk through body memories, survivor’s guilt, and the transformative power of letting loved ones celebrate me anyway. I share concrete examples of how meeting life with my authentic self keeps creating experiences I never thought were remotely possible.Next, I answer 29 questions from YOU—everything from my coffee lifestyle and metal concerts to the hardest parts of living with PTSD + OCD, from “doing enough” to what self-compassion actually looks like when it finally lands. Through these answers & my reflections, I explore the duality of existence, the astonishment of how life looks, and the awe of continuing to travel the continuum of human experience. Above all, this episode is a statement of love, gratitude, acceptance, and holding hope for every single beautiful human listening—especially through the darkest and most impossible moments you may live through.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Welcome & why I'm recording this episode(00:02:56) 29th birthday arriving alongside my 6th cancerversary(00:09:44) Flashbacks, survivor’s guilt, and “the body keeps the score” in real time(00:18:58) Gratitude vs. self-hatred, learning to let others celebrate me(00:26:30) April's somatic bodily memories from cancer, insomnia, and over-scheduling as avoidance(00:33:44) 29 Questions: Random things about me (coffee order, comfort food, favorite books/movies/TV/shows/podcasts, lazy Saturdays, random facts: synesthesia, perfect pitch, The Voice, opening for Morgan Wallen show)(00:47:48) 29 Questions: My non-work life (Midwest living, yes I'm married)(00:55:08) 29 Questions: Mental health/Lived Experience (living with PTSD + OCD, mental health red flags, self-compassion, funniest intrusive thought, small victory, busting the “high-functioning” myth, push vs. rest, relationship with medication)(01:08:06) 29 Questions: Q's for me as a scientist (psychedelic therapy, other new treatments I'm excited about, staying objective in research with my lived experience, if I were a neurotransmitter)(01:14:40) 29 Questions: Big-picture musings (spirituality post-cult, healing vs. recovery, advocacy beyond OCD, writing a book someday, doing “too much,” measuring “enough”)Try CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work:https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 37 of A Chat with Uma, I hit pause on the lived experience & nitty-gritty research and rewind all the way to Psychedelics 101: What exactly counts as a psychedelic? Why do ketamine and MDMA show up in the same conversations as LSD and psilocybin even though they work on totally different receptors? In this deep‑dive I define "mind-manifesting," untangle the three big branches of hallucinogens, give an extra basic chemistry crash course (Lego analogies included), and walk through the neurobiology that turns a few serotonin receptors into weeks of heightened brain plasticity. You’ll also hear why “set and setting” actually matter, how non‑hallucinogenic 5‑HT2A receptor compounds are storming drug development pipelines, and a rapid‑fire myth‑busting round that debunks everything from “natural equals safe” to “one trip and you might never come back.” By the end you’ll have a clear map of the molecules, mechanisms, and mind‑manifesting experiences that shape today’s psychedelic landscape—plus the language to call out sloppy headlines when you see them.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Welcome back & why it's long past time for a Psychedelics 101 primer(00:01:52) 1956 flash‑back: Osmond, Huxley, and coining “psychedelic”(00:03:54) Two scientific litmus tests—5‑HT2A receptor engagement and the subjective “mind‑manifesting” fingerprint(00:07:06) Meet the core four: LSD, psilocybin/psilocin, DMT/5‑MeO‑DMT, mescaline(00:10:36) Hallucinogen family tree—classical psychedelics vs. dissociatives vs. deliriants(00:13:54) Ketamine’s NMDA detour and why they are not psychedelics (but... are they though?)(00:16:40) MDMA as empathogens / entactogens—psychedelic "cousins" (again... are they?)(00:18:22) Why cocaine, meth, and opioids are not psychedelics(00:24:38) How scientists slice the pie differently: phenomenology, pharmacology, neurobiology(00:27:18) Psychoplastogens, metaplasticity, and the rise of non‑hallucinogenic 5‑HT2A receptor drugs(00:30:02) Chemistry crash course—tryptamines, ergolines, phenethylamines in Lego form(00:33:56) Nature‑grown vs. lab‑crafted, & pro-drugs(00:39:00) Dose, route, and how chemical compositions shape your trip(00:45:14) Receptor binding → signaling cascades → neuroplasticity(00:52:16) Default‑mode downshift, whole‑brain hyper‑connectivity, and the plasticity window(00:55:08) Set, setting, and why supportive containers slash bad‑trip rates(01:00:58) Myth‑busting lightning round—ketamine ≠ psychedelic, holes‑in‑brain, “natural = safe,” more(01:05:36) Key takeaways, why clear language matters, and a teaser for upcoming guest interviewsTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Try CLEARSTEM's amazing skincare products, including VITAMINSCRUB, CELLRENEW, CLEARITY, HYDRAGLOW, and HYDRABERRY--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work:https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 36 of A Chat with Uma, I continue the “Everything You Need to Know About Scientific Research” series by breaking down everything you need to know about peer review and publishing papers! Here, I unpack the journey from raw data to a peer‑reviewed paper—the stage where independent experts test every assumption, statistic, and conclusion before the work can stand as part of the scientific record. You’ll learn why publishing is incredibly competitive after everything navigated to get the grant in the first place, how different review models (single‑blind, double‑blind, open, and registered reports) work, and what safeguards exist to catch bias or outright fraud.We’ll also clear up common misconceptions—like who actually pays publication fees, what "peer review" actually means, whether industry can “buy” favorable results, and how to spot predatory journals that mimic the real thing. By the end, you’ll know how to read research headlines with a sharper eye and a fuller understanding of the system behind them.Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Welcome back & why peer review is the gatekeeper after funding(00:01:28) Grants vs. journals: the true currency of scientific reputation(00:03:54) Peer‑review basics: single‑, double‑, open, and registered reports(00:06:56) Preprint servers—speeding collaboration and sowing public confusion(00:09:58) Wildly competitive acceptance rates of scientific journals(00:13:46) Impact factors, citation culture, and career stakes(00:15:46) The money side: article‑processing fees and why scientists don’t profit(00:21:46) Step‑by‑step through the review gauntlet, from desk rejection to “accepted”(00:29:28) Conflicts of interest, Big Pharma fears, and science’s self‑corrections(00:32:50) Predatory journals: red flags and how researchers avoid them(00:40:54) Replication challenges and the tools fixing them (preregistration, open data)(00:45:14) Myth‑busting lightning round: peer review, pay‑to‑publish, and dissent(00:46:14) Key takeaways for understanding peer review and the process of publishing papersTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work:https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
On episode 35 of A Chat with Uma, I provide the long‑overdue follow‑up to my 2023 episode “Yes, I’ve Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher!” Two years (and many trips) later, I walk you through how psychedelics have woven themselves into my recovery from OCD, PTSD, and treatment‑resistant depression--and how my relationship to them has evolved. I’m candid about the depression pattern I now recognize: months of slow improvement, a frightening slide into suicidal exhaustion, and finally the “as‑needed biological intervention” of a macro‑dose psilocybin session.I share why I now treat psilocybin as an “as‑needed biological intervention,” how my move to Madison and recovery gains changed the cadence of those sessions, and how I’m learning to identify red‑flag symptoms earlier so I don’t wait until rock‑bottom. Throughout the episode I’m brutally honest about the hellish parts: intrusive‑thought torture, eye‑burning exhaustion, and the constant urge to postpone each dose because I hate the experience even while I depend on the after‑effects. I describe how each trip has dovetailed with psychotherapy treatment for OCD, PTSD, and depression, and what last week’s brutally intense—but surprisingly fast‑acting—trip has already done for my mental state. If you want a raw, first‑person account of using psychedelics to carve out months of functional life—and why I still need intensive mental health treatment, behavioral change, and a healthy life to continue through recovery—here it is in its fullest form. Listen to these contextual episodes first:My Full Story: 0 to 26My Mental Health Journey: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5Yes, I've Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to ResearcherThe Ketamine Diaries: Part 1, Part 2Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):(00:00:00) Recapping Part 1 from two years ago, where I left off with ketamine treatments, and how today’s episode picks up from where we left off(00:02:40) Why I share these vulnerable stories, disclaimers on anecdotal use, and how personal experiences shape broader conversations about psychedelics(00:09:00) The ‘As‑Needed’ Psilocybin Plan: How I decided to approach psilocybin on a loosely scheduled basis, what “biological intervention” means to me... and why I still push it off(00:18:00) From Ketamine Insights to Psilocybin Sessions: Unpacking what daily ketamine “torture” taught me about intrusive thoughts, the mind‑body split, and rediscovering color in life(00:23:00) Facing Relapse & ‘Rock Bottom’ Warnings: Tracking my early warning signs of depression, the classic OCD loops, and learning to heed those signals before everything shuts down(00:34:00) Exploring how moving to Madison, a supportive environment, and evidence-based therapy widened the gap between needing trips, sometimes up to eight months; Recap of my trips since 2023(00:56:00) The Most Recent Trip (March 2025): A raw look at my week‑old session: the usual “hell” meets an unexpected flash of self‑compassion, plus the quicker‑than‑normal bounce‑back effect(01:07:00) The unique relief I'm already experiencing from this trip, small windows of joy, and final reflections on integrating future psychedelics with therapy and recoveryTry CURED Nutrition's CBN Night Oil, Serenity Gummies, & all of their other fantastic products--Use code 'UMA' for 15% off of all products!Connect with me!My website: umarchatterjee.comInstagram: @UmaRChatterjeeTwitter: @UmaRChatterjeeTikTok: @UmaRChatterjeeEmail: hello@umarchatterjee.comSupport my work:https://ko-fi.com/umarchatterjeeHave a guest you want on the show? Fill out the Guest Suggestion Form!
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