On episode 38 of A Chat with Uma, I reflect on both my 29th birthday & 6th anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. I share a live, raw, completely unedited account of everything rising to the surface as I turn 29. I speak at length about the awe and gratitude I feel for still being here + alive, and remember how staying on this planet for this long once felt utterly impossible. I talk through the rapid transformation of life that has unfolded since cancer, and all the recovery and reckoning that has followed—how wildly different everything looks compared with anything I could’ve imagined. I speak candidly about my current state of being, including the full spectrum of emotions that arrive when my birthday and my cancerversary land back-to-back. I walk through body memories, survivor’s guilt, and the transformative power of letting loved ones celebrate me anyway. I share concrete examples of how meeting life with my authentic self keeps creating experiences I never thought were remotely possible.

Next, I answer 29 questions from YOU—everything from my coffee lifestyle and metal concerts to the hardest parts of living with PTSD + OCD, from “doing enough” to what self-compassion actually looks like when it finally lands. Through these answers & my reflections, I explore the duality of existence, the astonishment of how life looks, and the awe of continuing to travel the continuum of human experience. Above all, this episode is a statement of love, gratitude, acceptance, and holding hope for every single beautiful human listening—especially through the darkest and most impossible moments you may live through.

Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):

(00:00:00 ) Welcome & why I'm recording this episode

(00:02:56 ) 29th birthday arriving alongside my 6th cancerversary

(00:09:44 ) Flashbacks, survivor’s guilt, and “the body keeps the score” in real time

(00:18:58 ) Gratitude vs. self-hatred, learning to let others celebrate me

(00:26:30 ) April's somatic bodily memories from cancer, insomnia, and over-scheduling as avoidance

(00:33:44 ) 29 Questions: Random things about me (coffee order, comfort food, favorite books/movies/TV/shows/podcasts, lazy Saturdays, random facts: synesthesia, perfect pitch, The Voice, opening for Morgan Wallen show)

(00:47:48 ) 29 Questions: My non-work life (Midwest living, yes I'm married)

(00:55:08 ) 29 Questions: Mental health/Lived Experience (living with PTSD + OCD, mental health red flags, self-compassion, funniest intrusive thought, small victory, busting the “high-functioning” myth, push vs. rest, relationship with medication)

(01:08:06 ) 29 Questions: Q's for me as a scientist (psychedelic therapy, other new treatments I'm excited about, staying objective in research with my lived experience, if I were a neurotransmitter)

(01:14:40 ) 29 Questions: Big-picture musings (spirituality post-cult, healing vs. recovery, advocacy beyond OCD, writing a book someday, doing “too much,” measuring “enough”)

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