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#86: Show Up

#86: Show Up


We need to show up. We need “courage over comfort”, like Brene Brown says. We need a safe space that can support our needs. We need people who can help and listen. But most of all, we need to show up.
#85: Zero expectation

#85: Zero expectation


I have zero expectations about myself. Actually there are three things I truly expect daily about myself: 1. Journaling (~ 2-3 lines) 2. Blog (~ 1500 characters) 3. Walk at least 1km (146km so far in 2021) And monthly I have only one expectation: At least 2500 made shots recorded on HomeCourt (basketball). All other things are projects and progress. Those above are foundations that help make everything else possible.
#84: Temperance

#84: Temperance


You know life is happening because things happen and emotions are flowing. How do you make sure you don't do nothing in excess? Moderation is key. Temperance is one of the virtues from stoicism, and one I respect a lot. And one I'm learning a lot years after year. -- Daniel Wildt Cover:
Make your life and projects a long term goal. Play the infinite game. Are you in?
#82: Emergent Learning

#82: Emergent Learning


How do I play with emergent learning? To me, it’s all about learning. I find people that can share stories with me. Usually I’m more interested in failures than victories. I want people interested in living the problem with me. I want to understand experiments we can try. Again, it’s all about learning. I aim a vision, i aim results, but again. I’m always learning. :) /// Cover picture
#81: Journeys

#81: Journeys


I was thinking about this word: journey. Actually I was listening to Don’t Stop Believin’ and there’s this part: … Some will win, some will lose Some were born to sing the blues Oh, the movie never ends It goes on and on, and on, and on… I was checking movies I have that I don’t want to find a finish line. And I started thinking how can I make subscription modes out of them. That’s why I’m starting to focus on and other initiatives. Those will become sources of infinite games I wanna play. I’m thinking about events I want to turn into infinite something. :) That’s my current process right now. :D — Daniel Wildt
This reflection came after listening to “try everything”. That’s episode 71 from rework podcast. They were talking to Mert Iseri about his process to learn something new every year or sort of. I was thinking about my process and stuff I have learned through the years. Table Tennis at 12 Keyboard / Piano at 15 Basketball at 15 Guitar at 16 Programming at 17 Technical Writing 20 Poetry at 21 — Basketball at 27 Tennis at 28 Time Management at 28 Neurolinguistic Programming at 28 — Dad at 29 Neurolinguistic Programming at 32 — Drums at 35 Book published at 36 Poetry at 37 Basketball skills training at 39 Dad at 40 Technical Writing at 41 I see myself playing with subjects also creating side projects. Actually usually I do things thinking about how to apply. One of my interests while learning how to play drums and getting back playing with my guitar is not having a band. Or have a one person band. I want to able to record a full song playing all instruments. Do not intend to sing too, but who knows. Writing books, I want to make it become a routine. So I decided to publish 8 books during 2020. But it’s some crazy decision. I got my “productivity” writing and having reflections about different topics. And now I’m adding categories to those writings, and adding them to books. :) What about you? Share with me what are you trying lately? — Daniel Wildt
How do you help people? You need to engage with kindness, to be able to listen and care. Do you have the space needed to do that? You also need the courage to show up. You may need to share information that are sensitive and people may struggle with that. But in this process, as long as we can be curiousity over frustration and as long as we have courage over comfort, we are going to be just fine. We need to make sure we are couscious about our own process. You can do good. — Daniel Wildt P.S.: Watching Brené Brown talking about regret.
How can you feel this? This is a process of consciousness. How can I build this feeling of tranquility, because I have what I need and I am what I am? So I’ve found in minimalism part of this answer. It’s been a process of letting things go and understanding what’s real important to me. And it starts with people, with health, with how I am sleeping, and I believe (don’t have the paper here) possessions became like number 10. I was much more interested in access and services than buying new things. I’m 100% at home now and I started to see things that are not moving for days, weeks and now months. So I started to move them far from me and see what happen. I believe I don’t need those things, and I started asking why I bought them in the first place. What are your needs? This does not mean you can’t buy things you want. Just ask yourself if you really need them. What would happen if you don’t have X? — Daniel Wildt P.S.: this came up after watching a TEDx Talk from The Minimalists.
#77: Hell yeah or no

#77: Hell yeah or no


If you are not feeling amazing about something, say No. Throw yourself into projects that resonate with your process. Say hell yeah when you feel like you need to start something and are willing to drop something else because of that. I started to say No in 2006, when I was 27 years old. I thought I had to say yes to everything otherwise I was going to lose opportunities. I had fear inside every possible no. What would they say if I can’t show up into that event? What people say if I say what I believe? If I don’t see that talk, how can I keep up with my colleagues? How can I find more ways to sleep less and produce more, so I can have more time available and so I don’t need to say no? Wrong question. The question, actually two questions… (1) what are my limits? And (2) what are my needs? With question 1, about limits we can understand what will drop automatically when we think about yes/no decisions. With question 2, you understand what is the real need you have now. It’s not about desire. They will come and go. Think about needs. You can create choices, always. If you miss an event, schedule a pair session with someone to share thoughts with you about the talk. If you miss a party, call the person scheduling the party and share how happy you are with the party and with the best. Saying no is not the end of the world. It’s the start to feel present and feel JOY every time you say no. Saying no is about saying yes to you, your needs and your limits. And if you have people close to you saying something like “I can’t say no, I have a very difficult time doing that!”, remember them that they are able to say no to themselves every single time they say yes to someone else. — Daniel Wildt P.S.: I was listening Derek Sivers and his classic text Hell Yeah or No.
I’m learning to see the difference from desire and needs. I was listening to “don’t stop til you have enough” from Michael Jackson, and a different issue came up. I thought: I do have enough. Do I? How are you looking at your needs x your desire? I have done an episode asking about something being necessary, and I believe we have the power we need and also the connections we need. How are you playing with your own power? How are you playing with self awareness? How are you playing with your connections? I believe we need to understand who is here for us. Who is eager to help us in our processes? Show up. Have the courage to ask help. If you need, I am here. — Daniel Wildt — Cover:
In times like these I will just stop. Just for a moment. I will set the stage to come out again. Not stronger, better, nothing like that. I just want to let it flow. In times like these I will just let it flow. I always remember my friend David “The Dude” Hussman who passed away years ago. I remember his face looking after a set of rules and practices and tools and saying: let it flow dude, just let it flow. That sentence got a special place in my head since 2010, and I remember with a powerful advice. Keep the flow. Keep breathing. Keep listening. Find people that can help you to keep your flow. And remember: I am here for you. — Daniel Wildt Cover: flow by Mike Maguire
Making life simpler. I live my professional life with a backpack since 2008. Clothing, I’ve made my wardrobe filled with less stuff year over year. Books are becoming digital or I can choose a service with most of them available. Same with music. Same with movies. Same with on demand videos. So in the end I can live my life with less possessions or at least I can be really focused on what’s real important to me, thinking about material stuff. What about my mind? What are my needs? That’s where stoicism becomes real to me. Two principles from that: * What happens, is only what happens. * I can’t control what’s going to happen to me. I can control what I do after something happens to me. I journal. I breathe. I write meetings notes so I can review my day and understand how can I be for self aware tomorrow. But here’s the catch, considering current moment of covid-19. There’s no more balance in life (we never had that ok). We may have a home. With a sort of work in place and no life, other than silence and being with who else lives together with us. Become aware of you. And your needs. Be safe. — Daniel Wildt
I write every single day. It can be a couple of book pages, a blog post or a base text for a podcast episode, like this one. If I write, I feel fine. And the good thing about this is that sometimes I’m writing business stuff, to share with my colleagues. So I have added asynchronous communication to this equation. I’m able to express ideas and document the discussion process. I’m now able to have less meetings and more question based discussions. I have short 1:1s to follow up, and a big focus on async work. This space between answers is very important to create more knowledge. We have space to think and discover more about a subject. We can discover more questions. Better questions. And by doing that, we may have better decisions. — Daniel Wildt
In this particular time where we are playing isolation mode, I believe courage is a good virtue to play along with us. When I think about courage it turn out to be a matter of having a set of things in place that makes us feel the confidence and force we need to make something happen. When I play in crisis mode, I go defense and understand my constraints. As soon as I can, I move to atack. There I have the opportunity to create more space. Space to think, act and space to do nothing. Time is the most expense resource we have. Make sure you are using it wisely. — Daniel Wildt
Work as hard as you can, they say. Build your work ethic, they say. People who are able define a why, find any how. Can you work without sleep? I can. Can you work without living the house during the weekend? I can. Can you work 18 hours per day? I can. Now if I ask myself: Is it necessary? We are most of the time living in an autopilot mode. Make sure you can find places and times to “turn off” autopilot and get back on your real life track. Try to use less hours, so you can do more things. Play different roles. Build different projects. That will help your creativity process. Extra: Jason Fried: Why 40 hours is enough — lessons from basecamp. — Daniel Wildt
Ups and downs, highs and lows... cycles, seasons, you name it. The thing is that we can’t be happy all the time. And we can’t feel awful because something happen more than the time we need to reflect and learn. Same happens when something good happens. We can’t be euphoric for a whole week and forget to do what we need to do. As a stoic and a vulnerability practitioner, I want to understand my days and be present as much as I can. It’s a very tough process. We live in auto pilot mode a lot... the process to bring down to earth is very strong and consumes a lot of energy. We need to breath, we need to make sure we are doing what’s necessary. We need to be who we are. That’s even more important than anything. Are you ready? Go. — Daniel Wildt
If you have focus on safety, you need openness too, before you can consider inclusion. Being able to listen, to have internal space to listen, is not something easy and available 100% of the time. And being open to listen someone saying that “I can’t continue this conversation” without trying to go faster or trying to forget that we need presence is awesome. If we want inclusion, we want people to be who they are. We want safety. We are not talking about employer branding. It comes from the inside. How are you playing with the words need, belonging, internal space, listening, safety network, transparency, inclusion and openness? That’s my take on this episode. — Daniel Wildt
I want to play basketball. How good I want to be? I want to be a three point shooter. I want to read the game and read defense better. Can I play in a competition team? No. I need much more than I want at this moment. My body can’t handle the training process needed. So I need to stop to play basketball? No. I need to understand my limitations and find ways to improve my game. A weak side will always exist, and there I will be to receive the ball and shoot a three pointer. :) The same happens when I hear someone saying: “I want to know how to develop software”. There are many options / answers available to this question. But the process is like the same. Do you want to be good in what aspects? You want to build what? Do you want to help your current process, do you want just for fun, do you look for performance and have a role inside a software development team? Like... do you want software development as a living? Depending on what you want... the process and the journey are totally different. The only certainty in this process is this: choose your skills and how good you want to be! — Daniel Wildt
What do you really need? Why do you need to run? Patience can help you. Calm can become a routine. Are you ready?
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