From Burnout to Balance - Helping Parents Find Balance on the Burnout Recovery Journey

In this special episode of From Burnout to Balance, I sit down with my son Theo for an honest conversation about one of the biggest parenting stressors of our time: screen time.Together, they reflect on their family’s journey from strict screen limits to a more relaxed, trust-based approach, and Theo shares candid insights about what life online is really like for young people today. From gaming and streaming to online friendships, predator safety, and even the role screens play in mental health, Theo offers a perspective many parents rarely get to hear directly from their kids.You’ll hear about:🌿 Why limiting screens too tightly can sometimes isolate kids.🌿 The positives (and risks) of online communities and friendships.🌿 How gaming builds creativity, problem-solving, and even coding skills.🌿 Practical tips for helping kids transition off screens without battles.🌿 Theo’s personal journey as a streamer and what he’s learned along the way.This is a heartfelt, eye-opening episode that will help you see the online world through your child’s eyes—and maybe even ease some of your own anxieties about screen time.Join our online From Burnout to Balance CommunityYou can try Simply Nootropics hereUse the coupon code TANYAVALENTINNZ15 to get $15 off your first order.TakeawaysScreen time can serve as an escape for children.It's important to balance screen time with real-life interactions.Parents should check in on their children's mental health related to screen use.Online friendships can be as significant as real-life ones.Children can learn valuable skills through gaming.Parents should educate their kids about online safety and predator awareness.Streaming can boost a child's confidence and self-expression.It's crucial to monitor the content children consume online.Setting reasonable screen limits is better than strict restrictions.Open communication about online experiences fosters trust.

Hygiene can feel simple to some, but for many neurodivergent children and teens, especially those in burnout, it can be one of the hardest daily tasks. In this episode of From Burnout to Balance, Tanya is joined again by Laura Hellfeld, a neurodivergent nurse and parent educator, to explore the layered challenges of hygiene and how parents can support their children with compassion, creativity, and flexibility.Together, we discuss:Why hygiene often becomes inaccessible during burnout.The role of interoception and sensory processing in everyday self-care.How trial-and-error, choice, and autonomy can make hygiene less overwhelming.Gentle, practical alternatives to showers and baths (like wipes, shower caps, and simple sensory tweaks).Navigating parental worries about social expectations and rejection.Why honouring autonomy and co-creating routines is key to building lifelong skills.This conversation is full of validation, real-life stories, and practical ideas to make hygiene less of a battle and more of a supportive, safe experience for your child.📌 Resources & Links:Follow Laura’s work and writing via Substack and her booksND Nurse Consulting WebpageLaura’s Newsletter & Articles on SubstackGabby’s Glimmers: An Affirming Story of an Autistic Child and their Favourite FoodCreating Safe Spaces for Autistic People, bookLinkedInFacebookInstagramBlueSkyExplore more support inside From Burnout to Balance, Tanya’s parent membership community.FREE Burnout 101 mini-course -  tanyavalentin.co/101Explore the healthcare products mentioned in this show: Simply Nootropics - https://glnk.io/ovx5q/tanyavalentinnzTANYAVALENTINNZ15  to get an additional $15 off your first order

In this heartfelt episode of From Burnout to Balance, I sit down with Jade Thompson, an everyday Australian mum with an extraordinary story.Jade opens up about her family’s journey through her son’s autistic burnout, the heartbreak of early school trauma, and the heavy weight of navigating broken systems. Instead of following conventional advice, Jade chose something different: to trust her intuition, listen deeply, and build a life centred on connection, love, and hope.Together, we talk about:What it looks like to walk beside your child in burnout recoveryThe grief, confusion, and courage parents often carryWhy the system—not the child—is what’s brokenHow radical honesty and love can create a new path forwardThis is a conversation for any parent who has felt alone, unseen, or unsure of how to keep going.Jade’s story is a reminder that you are not broken—and neither is your child.Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode:✨ Free Grief Guide for Parents✨ Join From Burnout to Balance MembershipCheck out: Simply Nootropics - Use The Coupon Code: TANYAVALENTINNZ15 and get an additional $15 off your first order.https://glnk.io/ovx5q/tanyavalentinnz  Connect with Me:Instagram: @tanyavalentinnzWebsite: tanyavalentin.co

In this raw and deeply validating episode, I’m joined by Emma Gilmour, coach, counsellor, parent of two neurodivergent teens, and founder of Hope Rising Coaching. Together, we explore the invisible intersections between neurodivergence, alcohol, trauma, unmasking, and parenting through burnout.Emma shares her powerful journey of redefining her relationship with alcohol, discovering her own late-diagnosed neurodivergence, and parenting her children through autistic burnout. We unpack how masking, cultural conditioning, and shame impact our ability to advocate for ourselves and how choosing self-compassion over self-judgment can be a radical and life-saving act.This is an episode about being honest with ourselves. About acknowledging what we didn’t know, what we coped with the best we could, and how healing often begins in the places we’ve been told to hide.This conversation is both an invitation and a lifeline, especially for parents walking a similar path.Trigger Warning: This episode contains open and honest conversations about:Childhood trauma and emotional neglectAlcohol use as a coping mechanismSelf-harm and suicidal ideation (including among teens and women in midlife)Unsafe social situations and consentBurnout, shutdowns, and parent-child relational traumaPlease take care while listening. Press pause, come back later, or skip this episode entirely if needed. Your nervous system safety matters most.In this episode, we explore:Emma’s journey from corporate marketing to sobriety and coachingThe link between late-diagnosed neurodivergence and alcohol useHow alcohol often acts as a mask and survival tool for neurodivergent peopleParenting two PDA children through burnoutWhat it really means to support kids who can’t yet advocate for themselvesBreaking generational cycles around emotions, shame, and complianceHow grief, guilt, and growth coexist in parentingWhy awareness—not self-blame—is the first step to changeThe freedom that comes from seeing behaviour as data, not failure🔗 Resources & Links:Emma’s website & coachingEmma’s Awareness Worksheets on alcohol useJoin Emma's Free Live Webinar - Not That Bad, But Bad EnoughFollow Emma on InstagramTanya’s membership: From Burnout to Balance

In this rich and affirming conversation, Tanya sits down with UK-based neurodivergent therapist and community builder Jade Farrington to explore what truly neuroaffirming support looks like. Together, they unpack the harms of the pathology-based model still dominant in therapy and education, and how shifting toward a neurodiversity paradigm can transform identity, healing, and parenting.You'll hear about Jade’s journey as a late-identified neurodivergent person, the importance of creating spaces for diverse neurodivergent voices, and her incredible collection of free and low-cost resources that support individuals, families, and professionals alike.✨ Topics include:How to spot red flags (and green flags) in therapyThe power of identity-first languageResources for supporting positive autistic identity in young peopleWhy Jade’s monthly newsletter is a treasure trove of supportCreating community through collaboration, not compliance🔗 Resources mentioned:Jade’s Substack NewsletterHappy Neurodivergent Christmas GuideNeurodivergent Healthcare PassportGlimmers Resource (with Teo from Sendwise)Exploring Your Neurotype Starter GuideJade's website: https://jadefarrington.com/You can find these and more in Jade's SubstackFollow Jade on Facebook, Instagram and TikTokAdditional Resources:https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6486ea0c69b5b76396e7d5ca/t/6848339cd5b847639e5e4006/1749562268957/Is+your+provider+neurodiversity+affirming.pdfhttps://www.chronicresilienceot.com/blog/neurodiversity-affirming-practice-for-mental-healthhttps://divergentdialogues.substack.com/p/demystifying-therapy-a-neurodivergenthttps://www.facebook.com/100064806159710/posts/1116701613833367/https://nait.scot/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/NAIT-Key-Messages-for-Neuro-affirming-Health-Practitioners-Adults-2025.pdfKieran Rose: https://theautisticadvocate.com/Grove Autistic Community: https://www.gr0ve.org/Join the From Burnout to Balance community

In this episode of From Burnout to Balance, family coach Tanya Valentin dives deep into one of the most distressing experiences parents of neurodivergent children face: hearing their child say things like “I hate you,” “I hate myself,” or “I want to die” during meltdowns.These moments can feel shocking, hurtful, or even terrifying. But they’re not personal attacks—they're distress signals from an overwhelmed nervous system.Tanya explains what limbic utterances are, why they happen, and how parents can respond with empathy, understanding, and practical strategies to help their children (and themselves) feel safe.What are limbic utterances?Why kids say shocking, hurtful, or “rude” things in meltdown momentsThe role of the nervous system and Polyvagal TheoryThe limbic system: emotional brain basics The neurodivergent lens: why these responses can be more intenseInsights from Tanya’s work with families in burnout recoveryLaura Hellfeld’s insights on self-care demands and limbic utterancesPractical, compassionate strategies to support your childHow parents can care for their own nervous systemsIf you'd like more resources and support on parenting with a low-demand approach, understanding your child’s nervous system, and creating a compassionate home environment, check out Tanya’s parent membership From Burnout to Balance.✨ Membership LinkLaura Hellfeld – Neurodivergent Nurse & ConsultantLaura’s Substack

In this tender and validating episode of From Burnout to Balance, host Tanya Valentin shares eight powerful, research-backed protective factors that support parent mental health, especially for those parenting neurodivergent children and teens in burnout.Drawing from lived experience and a neuro-affirming, trauma-informed lens, Tanya explores what helps and why these supports can feel complicated, inaccessible, or even unsafe, particularly for neurodivergent parents who’ve been dismissed, judged, or burned by support systems in the past.Inside this episode, you’ll hear about:Why self-compassion is a radical (and often difficult) practiceHow nervous system regulation starts with noticing, not perfectionThe grief of the community that never came, and the hope of finding a new kindThe healing power of meaning-making, validation, and reparentingWhy we need low-demand parenting for parents, tooThis episode is a soft place to land.A reminder that you're not alone — and you never were.✨ Learn more about Tanya's membership and parent community: From Burnout to Balance

In this episode, Tanya chats with Teo Byrne from SENDwise Hub. They discuss the challenges and triumphs of navigating neurodiversity as parents. Teo shares her personal journey as a late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD parent, emphasising the importance of creating safe spaces for neurodivergent individuals. They explore the significance of self-care for parents, the need for community support, and the delicate balance between providing support and allowing autonomy for children. The discussion highlights the importance of listening to children, understanding their unique experiences, and fostering a sense of belonging within the neurodivergent community.Connect with Teo:SubstackFacebookInstagramJoin the From Burnout to Balance Community

What if the well-meaning wish, “I just want my child to be happy”, is quietly fuelling shame, disconnection, and burnout?In this heartfelt episode of From Burnout to Balance, Tanya unpacks how emotional suppression, rooted in generational trauma and cultural expectations, gets stored in the body, passed through parenting, and misunderstood as failure.You’ll explore:Why the nervous system reacts so strongly to your child’s big emotionsHow grief becomes shame, for both parent and childWhat nervous system safety really means (it’s not being calm all the time)Why reparenting yourself is the key to supporting your child’s emotional worldWhat it sounds like to co-regulate instead of controlHow grief, when welcomed, becomes the gateway to deeper trust and connectionThis is not easy work, but it’s sacred work. And you don’t have to do it alone.💞 Learn more about the From Burnout to Balance membership and join the community:Download your FREE Guide to navigating grief

In this episode, Tanya shares her journey of parenting through burnout, focusing on the challenges faced by neurodivergent children and the lessons learned along the way. She introduces the seven pillars that form the foundation of her work, emphasising the importance of nervous system safety, low-demand parenting, community support, reparenting, practical resources, repairing connections, and soul-level parenting. Tanya encourages parents to explore these pillars as a means of healing and support in their parenting journey.You can join our From Burnout to Balance Community HERE

In this episode of From Burnout to Balance, Tanya explores the often overlooked inner work of parenting, particularly in the context of children experiencing burnout. She emphasises the importance of emotional healing, reparenting, and understanding the resistance many parents feel towards addressing their own emotions. Tanya discusses how childhood experiences shape our responses to our children's emotions and the significance of creating a safe emotional environment for them. The conversation highlights the transformative power of self-awareness and compassion in breaking generational cycles of emotional neglect.If you would like to explore this more deeply for yourself, join us in our parent communityChapters:00:00 The Inner Work of Parenting02:27 Understanding Resistance to Emotional Work06:55 Healing Through Compassion and Connection10:32 Gentle Beginnings in Emotional Awareness

In this episode, Tanya explores the profound impact of burnout on both children and parents, emphasising the spiritual awakening that often accompanies such experiences. She discusses the importance of soul care, the challenges of navigating identity and beliefs during difficult times, and the need for creating sacred spaces for healing and connection. Tanya shares her personal journey and insights on how to embrace the messiness of transformation and find deeper meaning in the process.Explore Held - A Soul Circle for Burnout Parents - What's Lost (And What's Emerging)Join us in From Burnout to BalanceChapters00:00 Navigating Parental Burnout and Spiritual Awakening08:12 The Goo Stage: Embracing Transformation12:34 Creating Sacred Spaces for Healing14:54 B2B Outro.mp4

In this episode of 'From Burnout to Balance', we explore the challenges faced by neurodivergent children regarding everyday demands and how these can feel overwhelming or unsafe. Tanya discusses the importance of understanding the nervous system's role in these experiences, the distinction between demand avoidance and pathological demand avoidance (PDA), and offers strategies for parents to support their children with compassion and awareness. The conversation emphasises the need for lowering demands, recognizing the cumulative effect of expectations, and fostering a safe environment for both children and parents.If you would like to receive deeper support with this in your own parenting check out my on-demand training: Understanding Demand Avoidance: Why Demands Feel Unsafe and What We Can DoYou can purchase the training HEREOr watch this for free when you join my From Burnout to Balance Membership when you join with my 7-day free trialChapters00:00 Understanding Demands and Neurodivergence05:20 Demand Avoidance vs. Pathological Demand Avoidance09:35 Supporting Children with Demand Avoidance12:13 The Role of Parents' Nervous Systems17:52 B2B Outro.mp4

In this episode, Tanya explores the metaphor of gardener versus mechanic parenting, emphasising the importance of creating a supportive environment for children experiencing burnout. She discusses the pressures parents face in a behaviourist society that prioritises compliance over connection, and how this can lead to harmful parenting practices. Tanya advocates for a gardener approach, focusing on nurturing and understanding children's needs rather than trying to 'fix' them. The conversation highlights the significance of trust, safety, and compassion in the healing process for children.Join us in From Burnout to BalanceComments, questions or want to be a guest on the show?📩 tanya@tanyavalentin.comInstagram and Facebook: @tanyavalentinnzChapters00:00 Gardener vs. Mechanic Parenting07:10 Understanding Burnout in Children13:30 The Pressure of Compliance20:25 Creating a Safe Environment for Healing

In this podcast episode, Tanya discusses the challenges and emotional discomfort that arise when parents attempt to change their parenting approaches. She shares personal experiences and insights into how our past experiences and emotional responses, influenced by neurotags, affect our parenting styles. Tanya emphasises the importance of understanding these dynamics, particularly in the context of gender roles and emotional expression. She offers practical grounding techniques to help parents navigate their nervous system responses and encourages open communication between co-parents to honour individual journeys in parenting.Join From Burnout to Balance with your free 7-day trialChapters00:00 Navigating Parenting Changes03:10 Understanding Neurotags and Emotional Responses05:51 The Impact of Past Experiences on Parenting11:50 Gender Roles and Emotional Expression in Parenting17:56 Grounding Techniques for Nervous System Safety25:08 Honouring Individual Parenting Journeys

In this episode, Tanya discusses the dark thoughts and complex emotions parents face when navigating their child's burnout. She addresses feelings of guilt, grief, jealousy, fear, and isolation, emphasising the importance of self-compassion and acceptance. Tanya provides insights into the healing journey for both parents and children, encouraging listeners to embrace their struggles and seek community support.Would you like gentle guidance as you navigate this path to deeper acceptance? Subscribe to my email series - The Space Between Knowing and Letting GoJoin From Burnout to Balance with your 7-day free trialChapters00:00 Navigating Parental Guilt and Shame03:04 Grieving Expectations and Acceptance05:59 Jealousy and Comparison in Parenting08:52 Fear of the Future and Identity Loss11:45 Understanding Recovery and Isolation15:00 Burnout and Self-Care Strategies17:49 Embracing Self-Compassion20:57 Radical Acceptance and Community Support

In this conversation, Tanya discusses the Burnout Recovery Roadmap, emphasizing the importance of awareness in understanding the stages of burnout recovery for children, particularly those who are neurodivergent. She outlines the five distinct stages of burnout recovery, from daily burnout to the new normal, and highlights the emotional and practical challenges parents face during this journey. Tanya encourages parents to embrace the transformation process, recognizing that recovery is not linear and requires patience and understanding.CLICK HERE for your copy of my Burnout Recovery RoadmapJoin From Burnout To Balance with your 7-day free trialChapters00:00 Understanding the Burnout Recovery Roadmap02:29 Daily Burnout: The Pressure Cooker Stage05:48 Breaking Point: Recognizing Burnout09:41 Chronic Burnout: The Empty Tank Stage13:17 Fragile Reset: Signs of Recovery16:20 Embracing the New Normal20:46 The Transformation Process: From Caterpillar to Butterfly

Summary:This episode delves into the complexities of parenting autistic children, particularly focusing on the challenges of burnout, the emotional toll on parents, and the need for greater awareness and understanding within the community. Tanya shares her personal experiences, highlighting the importance of recognizing burnout, navigating feelings of guilt and shame, and advocating for systemic change to better support neurodivergent families.Keep the conversation going, share your experience in the comments.If you would like to get support for your family while navigating burnout, visit: https://tanyavalentin.co/parent-membership/ to claim your 7-day free trial.

This conversation delves into the complexities of burnout in parenting, exploring the hidden barriers to recovery, the impact of parental pressure, and the importance of emotional health. Tanya emphasizes the need for self-care and compassion, providing practical strategies for parents to support both themselves and their children in the recovery process.To access the recording of the Hidden Barriers to Recovery Coaching session as well as other burnout recovery supports and resources, join From Burnout To Balance risk-free with your 7-day trial.

In this episode, Tanya discusses the often-overlooked issue of parent burnout, emphasizing the importance of self-care and mental health for parents. She introduces the concept of low-demand parenting, which involves reducing both parental and child demands to foster a healthier family dynamic. Tanya also explores the metaphor of juggling responsibilities, categorizing tasks into 'glass balls' and 'rubber balls' to help parents prioritize effectively. She provides practical strategies for creating a bare minimum plan to manage daily tasks while encouraging self-compassion and boundary-setting as essential components of parenting.⁠Start your From Burnout To Balance 7-day Free Trial⁠Here's the link to Download Your Bare Minimum Plan