Understanding Limbic Utterances: When Your Child Says Hurtful Things in Meltdowns
Description
In this episode of From Burnout to Balance, family coach Tanya Valentin dives deep into one of the most distressing experiences parents of neurodivergent children face: hearing their child say things like “I hate you,” “I hate myself,” or “I want to die” during meltdowns.
These moments can feel shocking, hurtful, or even terrifying. But they’re not personal attacks—they're distress signals from an overwhelmed nervous system.
Tanya explains what limbic utterances are, why they happen, and how parents can respond with empathy, understanding, and practical strategies to help their children (and themselves) feel safe.
- What are limbic utterances?
- Why kids say shocking, hurtful, or “rude” things in meltdown moments
- The role of the nervous system and Polyvagal Theory
- The limbic system: emotional brain basics
- The neurodivergent lens: why these responses can be more intense
- Insights from Tanya’s work with families in burnout recovery
- Laura Hellfeld’s insights on self-care demands and limbic utterances
- Practical, compassionate strategies to support your child
- How parents can care for their own nervous systems
If you'd like more resources and support on parenting with a low-demand approach, understanding your child’s nervous system, and creating a compassionate home environment, check out Tanya’s parent membership From Burnout to Balance.
Laura Hellfeld – Neurodivergent Nurse & Consultant
United States
