Plan P

Summary In this episode of the Plan P podcast, we delve into the complexities surrounding education, particularly the role of college in today's society. We talk about the historical significance of college as a pathway to success and upward mobility, while also addressing the changing perceptions of education and the increasing financial burden of college tuition. The conversation explores alternative paths such as gap years and non-traditional education, emphasizing the importance of allowing children to make their own choices and the need for parents to navigate their expectations. Ultimately, the episode highlights the value of continuous learning and personal growth, regardless of the educational path chosen.

In this episode, we explore the complex dynamics of parenting during adolescence, focusing on the tension between fostering independence and maintaining connection with our children, and how very challenging it can be as parents to find our place, and find balance. We discuss the importance of clear communication, the role of compassion, and the need for parents to reflect on their own emotional needs. The conversation emphasizes the significance of setting boundaries while allowing children to grow into autonomous individuals, and the necessity of understanding and navigating the challenges that arise during this developmental stage. Honorable Mentions: Debra Tannen I Only Say This Because I Love You  Brady Ready Finding You Podcast Needs List can be found on our Resources page /Formula for Compassionate Communication While we do not offer ITC Groups we are certified and are believers, check them out here. Takeaways The tension between independence and connection is a common struggle for parents. Independence is about autonomy and making one's own decisions. Communication is not just about words; it's also about tone and delivery. Parents often miss the connection when they focus too much on control. Compassionate communication can help maintain relationships during tough times. Setting boundaries is essential for building trust and connection. Understanding emotional needs is crucial for healthy relationships. Teen independence can feel like rejection, but it's a natural part of growth. Cultural messages can complicate the balance between connection and independence. Therapy can provide valuable insights into parenting dynamics.    

Summary In this episode of Plan P, hosts we explore the myths and misconceptions surrounding parenting teens. We discuss the pressure parents feel to conform to societal expectations, the importance of honesty and vulnerability in relationships, and the need for open communication with children. The conversation emphasizes that parenting is not about having all the right answers but about being real and connecting with teens on a deeper level. Mentioned in the Podcast MSG story was on the “This American Life”  podcast episode “668:the Long Fuse” Takeaways Parents often believe myths that can lead to unnecessary pressure. The idea that 'breast is best' can create feelings of shame. What is considered 'best' in parenting can vary by individual circumstances. Headlines can oversimplify complex parenting issues. Honesty and vulnerability can strengthen parent-child relationships. Parents should focus on understanding their child's emotions. It's important to ask questions rather than make assumptions about children. Connection and communication are key in parenting teens. Parenting is a journey of learning and unlearning. Change in parenting practices takes time and effort.

  Summary In this episode of the Plan P podcast, hosts Quinn and Sarah welcome family therapist Susan Caso, who shares her insights on nurturing family relationships, particularly with teens. The conversation explores the importance of emotional connection, effective communication, and the challenges of parenting in the digital age. Susan emphasizes the need for parents to balance authority with vulnerability, acceptance, and the significance of being present in their children's lives. The discussion also touches on the impact of social media on youth and the necessity for parents to model healthy behaviors and self-care. In this conversation, Susan Caso discusses the complexities of parenting, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection, emotional transparency, and building trust with children. She shares her personal experiences with parental anxiety and the need to create a calm environment for children to thrive. The dialogue explores the significance of mistakes in learning, the necessity of open communication, and the balance between vulnerability and emotional safety in parent-child relationships. Susan offers practical advice for parents to navigate their roles and foster deeper connections with their children. takeaways Listening takes time and is essential for building trust. Parents should focus on positive interactions with their children. Emotional closeness is crucial for healthy relationships. Apologizing to teens can strengthen respect and connection. Acceptance of children's individuality is vital in parenting. Openness and vulnerability foster better communication. Social media can impact mental health; awareness is key. Setting boundaries around social media use is important. Modeling behavior is crucial for effective parenting. Parents need to prioritize self-care to be effective caregivers. Self-reflection is crucial for parents to understand their own emotions. Parental anxiety can negatively impact children's experiences. It's important to model making mistakes to build resilience in children. Recognizing the difference between a 10 and a 1 can help manage parental reactions. Staying calm and connected with children is essential for open communication. Listening to understand is more important than jumping to problem-solving. Creating emotional safety allows children to share openly with parents. Vulnerability should lead to emotional transparency, not fear. Building trust takes time and consistent effort from parents. Practicing self-awareness in parenting roles can improve family dynamics. titles Nurturing Family Bonds: Insights from a Therapist Building Stronger Connections with Teens The Art of Parenting: Balancing Authority and Vulnerability Understanding Your Teen: Communication Strategies Social Media and Its Impact on Family Dynamics Sound Bites "Listening takes time." "Parents need to put the phone down." "You have time for 15 minutes." "Just stare out the window, daydream." "I was just an anxious parent." "I need to relax." "Everything's a 10 out of 10." "Everything's urgent." "Listening to understand, right?" "Vulnerability implies emotional risk."   Keywords family therapy, parenting, teen relationships, social media, emotional connection, communication, acceptance, vulnerability, family dynamics, mental health, parenting, self-reflection, emotional transparency, parental anxiety, building trust, communication, mistakes, emotional safety, listening, vulnerability

Summary In this episode of Plan P, we explore the intricate dynamics between parents and their adolescents, emphasizing the importance of self-connection as a foundation for healthy relationships. We discuss the impact of trauma, the role of vulnerability, and the necessity of finding quiet moments for self-reflection. The conversation highlights the significance of modeling behavior and the interconnectedness of self and community, ultimately encouraging listeners to practice gratitude over worry. Other podcasts We mentioned Inside circle – Eldra Jackson Super psyched – Michal Dorcey Positive Practices (plan p’s 48th Episode) Power of the Pause (Plan P podcast episode 40)   Takeaways The most important connection is the one with ourselves. Self-awareness is crucial in parenting. Lists can distract us from connecting with ourselves. Vulnerability is key to building strong relationships. Finding quiet moments is essential for self-reflection. Modeling behavior is important for children. Connection requires understanding our own needs first. Practicing gratitude can shift our perspective. Trauma can impact our parenting style. We are all part of a larger community.   Keywords parenting, self-connection, vulnerability, trauma, gratitude, emotional response, relationships, adolescence, communication, mindfulness

Summary We are honored and delighted to introduce our listeners to an amazing adult, our daughter-not-in-law, Kiesha AKA our son Harry’s partner! This episode truly is a treat!  What do teens wish they could tell their parents? Listen and learn as Kiesha discusses her own adolescent years. This woman is on point, honest and wise as she shares her experiences navigating adolescence, mental health challenges, and family dynamics. The discussion covers the emotional complexities of growing up, the impact of divorce on family relationships, and the importance of communication and support in overcoming struggles. Kiesha reflects on her journey through school, cultural identity, and the development of coping skills, emphasizing the significance of gratitude and self-care in her life.   This Weeks practice How do you practice gratitude?   Takeaways Adolescents often struggle to express their emotions to parents. Divorce can significantly impact family dynamics and children's mental health. Open communication between parents and children is crucial for emotional support. Mental health awareness is essential during adolescence. School challenges can exacerbate mental health issues for teens. Cultural identity plays a role in social integration during adolescence. Transitioning to high school can be a difficult experience for many teens. Building trust and communication with parents fosters a supportive environment. Coping skills and self-care practices are vital for mental well-being. Gratitude can help shift perspective and improve overall happiness.   Keywords parenting, adolescence, mental health, family dynamics, emotional awareness, school challenges, cultural identity, trust, coping skills, gratitude

In this episode of Plan P the Podcast we dive into the vital and sometimes confounding topic of teaching financial responsibility and independence to adolescents. We explore effective strategies for parents to guide their teens through conversations about money, making sure to emphasize transparency, age-appropriate lessons, and the importance of saving and investing. Through what we hope is insightful discussion, we highlight how financial education not only prepares teens for adulthood but also fosters gratitude, responsibility, and community involvement. Tune in to discover practical tips for helping your child develop a strong foundation in financial literacy that will last a lifetime. Truly.  It doesn’t mean you won’t have to repeat it, they’re adolescents, trust that you will want to repeat it, and that you are building this foundation on top of the many which you have been laying since they were wee little humans. Key Points Discussed: The importance of early financial education and how it prepares teens for adulthood Practical strategies for engaging teens in money conversations, including budgeting, saving, and investing Age-appropriate lessons for different stages of adolescence The role of parents in modeling financial responsibility How teaching financial independence fosters gratitude, responsibility, and community involvement Tips for making financial conversations transparent and approachable Resources Mentioned: www.donorschoose.org – can find local schools and other cool ways to give to the comunity  www.kiva.org – way to invest in people and see the impact your money can have in the lives of others  Join us next time for more insightful tips on raising empowered teens!   # financialeducation #parentingteens #moneymanagementforteens #kidsandmoney #independence #responsibility, #transparency #savingteen #investingforteens #buikldinghealthyfinancialhabits 

💖 Love Languages & Parenting: Cracking the Code on Connection It’s February, and whether you’re feeling the romance or just the societal pressure of it all—love is definitely in the air! In this episode of Plan P, we (your favorite married couple of 18 years!) take a deep dive into love languages—Dr. Gary Chapman’s five ways people give and receive love: ✨ Words of Affirmation ✨ Acts of Service ✨ Receiving Gifts ✨ Quality Time ✨ Physical Touch But here’s the twist: we’re looking at love languages through the lens of parenting—because let’s be real, understanding how your teen wants to receive love (and how they don’t) is a game-changer. We get into: 💬 Our own experiences with love languages—what works, what flops, and what surprises us. 👀 How teens’ love language preferences shift (because they totally do). ❤️ Why self-awareness and communication are everything in expressing love. 🛠️ Practical ways to use love languages to deepen family connections. And, as always, we keep it real, humble, and maybe a little too honest. 😆 So, grab a cup of coffee (or wine, we don’t judge) and join us for another episode of discovery of self, laughs at ourselves, love of selves, and a few “aha” moments. 🎧 Hit play now! 💡 P.S. If you missed our last episode, check it out here: Three H’s: Hear, Help, or Hug

Summary Scary as it might sound (and spoiler alert, fear won’t help) you, the loving parent, are actually the expert on that adolescent you know and feel like you don’t know! Sarah and Quinn are here to help you gain a little teeny bit more knowledge and understanding in this area of their expertise, while emphasizing that there are no definitive experts in parenting. Confused?  It’s confusing! There are ways of finding your unique parenting style, setting boundaries, and creating a safe environment for your children to grow. This conversation highlights the value of honesty, which inherently includes the significance of modeling mistakes; of embracing flexibility in family dynamics, and of identifying rituals which will foster a supportive atmosphere. Ultimately, when parents are willing to understand that they can trust themselves, things ease up, and relationships can grow.   Takeaways There are no experts when it comes to parenting. Every parent is an expert in their own child's life. Parenting is a unique journey for each family. Letting go of expectations is crucial in parenting. Setting boundaries is essential for healthy growth. Modeling how to respond to mistakes teaches resilience. Creating a safe container allows for open communication. Family rituals provide stability and connection. Flexibility is key as family dynamics change. Trust yourself and give yourself grace as a parent.   Keywords parenting, adolescents, parenting experts, boundaries, family dynamics, safe container, modeling mistakes, family rituals, trust, imperfection

Summary In this episode, Sarah and Quinn explore the challenges of parenting adolescents through the lens of Taoism, an ancient and diverse philosophical and religious tradition emphasizing harmony.  They discuss the importance of building trust, letting go as the way to hold on, and understanding the flow of parenting. By embracing non-action and allowing children to navigate their own paths, parents can foster deeper connections and encourage autonomy. The conversation emphasizes the need for space, grace, and patience in the parenting journey, ultimately guiding listeners to a more harmonious relationship with their children.   Takeaways Taoism offers profound insights for parenting adolescents. Letting go allows children to reveal who they are. Non-action is about allowing things to unfold naturally. Building trust requires releasing control and expectations. Space for grace helps in understanding our children better. Hope and fear can cloud our parenting decisions. Encouraging autonomy fosters accountability in children. Practicing trust is essential for a healthy parent-child relationship. Change in parenting takes time and practice. Embracing the flow of parenting leads to deeper connections.                              Keywords Taoism, parenting, adolescents, trust, letting go, autonomy, non-action, fear, hope, connection

Ch-ch-cha-changes. It’s a NEW YEAR!   Summary   This communal transition from 2024 to 2025 invites us all to consider our personal values and make conscious New Year’s decisions based on these values as we move forward into a new calendar year.  In this conversation, we discuss this topic in the context of bringing our personal values into the group realm as we parent adolescents.  Understanding the how-to of communicating with your child while balancing the importance of reflecting on personal values; navigating power dynamics; and fostering respect can feel like a lot.  It can be done! Part of parenting through these transitional adolescent years is finding a place of believing in the benefit of boundaries while also granting your child independence. We discuss collaborative parenting approaches, while encouraging parents to prioritize self-care and meaningful connections with their children. The episode concludes with practical advice for setting intentions and practicing values in parenting as the new year begins.   Takeaways   Reflecting on the past year can guide future parenting decisions. Focusing on values helps in responding to children's behaviors. Modeling behavior is more effective than telling children what to do. Power dynamics shift as children grow; collaboration is key. Respect is a foundational value in parenting. Open communication fosters trust and understanding. Setting boundaries is essential but should be flexible. Independence comes with responsibility; both need to be discussed. Self-care for parents is crucial for effective parenting. Intentions for the new year should involve both parents and children.   #parentingteens #adolescents, #parentingvalues, #communication, #independence, #boundaries, #self-care, #respect, #collaboration, #new year    

In this episode, we remind parents that the holiday season is often a time of rush and pressure, making it even harder to remember to slow down and savor the moment. We explore the difference between urgency and importance, and how to prioritize being present with your family amidst the hustle and bustle. Happy Holidays! If this episode helped you feel more centered during the holiday season, please subscribe to Plan P and share it with other parents who could benefit from a little holiday mindfulness. Don’t forget to leave a review and share your favorite holiday tip for staying present with us!

In this episode, we’re in for a special treat as we sit down with Ann Faison—a mother of two adolescents, artist, author, teacher, wife, and so much more. Ann shares her powerful insights on parenting, particularly the intersection of grief and growth that comes with raising children through all stages. Ann opens up about her personal journey and the lessons she's learned along the way, especially the importance of providing consistency and encouragement for her children. She speaks beautifully about the challenges of miscommunication in parenting and how it led to transformative change within her family. As they navigated these challenges, Ann and her family learned to understand each other on a deeper level and address the underlying needs and issues that arose. Ultimately, Ann came to a profound understanding of what she could—and could not—control or fully comprehend in her role as a parent, and she shares how she learned to be okay with that. It’s a heartfelt conversation about the inner work of parenting, the importance of support for parents, and the resilience that comes with growth, both as individuals and as a family. Tune in for a conversation filled with wisdom, vulnerability, and the reality that parenting, at its core, is a journey of learning and unlearning.     https://www.helpwithgrief.me/about-ann https://substack.com/@annfaison transformingfamily.org  

In this episode, we explore the often-repeated advice for parents of adolescents: “Pay attention.” While this can feel intimidating or overwhelming, we discuss how to approach this idea with a sense of softness that can greatly benefit the parent-child relationship during these transformative years. Discover how a gentle approach to paying attention allows you to notice your adolescent's changes without overwhelming them. Learn the difference between using a magnifying glass or a microscope when observing your child. Curiosity fosters connection, while scrutiny can lead to discomfort. Explore how to engage in conversations with your child without immediate reactions. This awareness can lead to deeper understanding and trust. Reflect on your own journey as a parent. Are you paying attention to your own needs and desires, or are you caught up in comparing yourself to others? Understand how to open your hands, allowing your child to feel safe enough to explore their independence while knowing they can always return to you. Join us for a thoughtful discussion on how to bring softness to the art of paying attention, fostering a healthier, more trusting relationship with your adolescent. Listen and learn!

Power Full: Understanding Enabling In this episode we talk about empowering our children… and how easy it can be to slip into enabling them. No parent wants to enable their child, we just want to support them.  Understanding what enabling is, and what support is can make a huge difference in the lives of parents of adolescents, AKA emerging adults.  No matter the age of your child-preteen, teen or young adult, this episode will offer you new awareness and new skills to practice which will help you build the foundation of support that you want to be, and that your children want you to be!   Nzinga Harrison Un-Addiction Daniel Siegel Brainstorm