Jayson and Ellen explore divorce through an evolutionary and cultural lens. Why does divorce feel easier in some cultures than others? Why do some couples stay together but never truly thrive? How do you know when someone is the wrong person, and how do you honestly assess whether you did everything you could to make the relationship work? They also examine when divorce does not actually make things better and why taking responsibility for your role in relationship failures matters more than blame.Timestamps:1:36 - Human evolution and divorce4:38 - Cultural differences in the ease of divorce9:44 - Not all couples that stay together thrive15:00 - How do you know when someone is the “wrong” person18:42 - Did you do everything you could to make things work?21:55 - When divorce doesn’t make things better26:16 - Consider your own role in relationship failuresLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Jayson and Ellen explore what it really means when couples say they never fight. They break down why fighting is anything that needs repair, not just overt conflict, and why couples who never fight miss important opportunities to learn. They look at the types of couples who avoid conflict, how much fighting is too much, which couples can work through frequent conflict, and the deeper issues that can be masked by a lack of fighting.Timestamps:1:39 - When couples say they never fight4:11 - Fighting is anything that needs to be repaired9:50 - If you never fight you never learn12:50 - Types of couples that don’t fight17:04 - How much fighting is too much?20:27 - What kinds of couples can overcome fighting?22:52 - Issues masked by a lack of fightingLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Jayson and Ellen break down the popular ideas around masculine and feminine energy and why these constructs create more harm than help. They explore how this paradigm becomes oppressive, why traditional gender roles limit co creation, and how over functioning and under functioning show up in relationships. They also examine why these ideas keep circulating despite causing so much confusion and disconnection.Timestamps:1:44 - Popular masculine and feminine constructs7:15 - The oppressive nature of this paradigm18:39 - Traditional gender roles are bad for co-creation23:47 - Over-functioning and under-functioning32:10 - Why do these ideas perpetuate?Links:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
What does it mean to win even when a relationship ends? Jayson and Ellen explain how to learn from your relationship regardless of the outcome and why being invested in your own growth is the real victory. If you want to leave every relationship better than you entered it, this episode will show you how.Timestamps:1:24 - How to win even if you lose3:31 - Learning from your relationship even if it ends10:36 - You have to be invested in your own growthLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Most couples don’t actually work on their relationship—they just work on everything else. In this episode, Jayson and Ellen unpack what it really means to prioritize your relationship, not just maintain it. They discuss why you can’t rely on a professional to do the heavy lifting, how to develop a longevity mindset, and how to talk about the relationship itself in a way that creates lasting change.Timestamps:3:49 - You can’t just rely on a professional8:36 - The relationship longevity mindset14:29 - Learning how to talk about the relationship10:56 - Getting supportLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Ellen and Jayson talk about the most common sex problems couples face. How can sex become a crutch or start to feel transactional? What role do our sexual histories play? And how can couples bring up sex issues without causing shutdown or shame?Timestamps:0:27 - The most common sex problem4:11 - The lazy guy thought process6:58 - The woman’s perspective10:56 - Sexual histories13:54 - Don’t let sex become transactional17:08 - Sex as a crutch19:41 - Communicating about sex31:17 - How to bring up sex in a relationshipLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
What’s the most powerful lever you can pull to help you and your partner break free from communication loops and recurring frustrations? In this episode, Ellen and Jayson share practical tips and demonstrate both helpful and unhelpful ways to express and receive emotions.How did your parents respond to your emotions, and how does that shape the way you respond to others today? What is emotional glue and why is it so important in relationships?If you’re looking to become a better partner, you’ll find this episode insightful and valuable.Timestamps:5:11 - The lever you need to pull 8:01 - How did your parents respond to your emotions?13:14 - Why is emotional glue so important?19:57 - Examples of speaking and receiving emotions37:14 - ConclusionLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Do you want to learn how to move through arguments with your partner quickly, effectively, and efficiently? This episode is for you. Jayson and Ellen talk about conflict and how to resolve it. What should you do when you find yourself in an argument? What is the talking path? What is the listening path? Why is it important to deal with one conflict at a time? Don’t miss this insightful episode.Timestamps:1:22 - How to move through an argument quickly4:25 - What to do when you find yourself in an argument9:11 - The talking path - taking ownership16:09 - The listening path- LUFU25:26 - One thing at a timeLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
What’s wrong with having a comfortable marriage? Ellen and Jayson take a closer look. Have you stopped being curious about your partner? Are you creating future problems by avoiding discomfort today? Tune in to learn how to build resilience and transform a comfortable marriage into a thriving one.Timestamps:1:35 - What is a comfortable marriage?2:56 - The problem with comfortable marriages12:04 - Losing curiosity14:20 - The thriving marriage18:02 - Discomfort as a part of growth21:24 - Building resilience24:00 - CommunityLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Jayson and Ellen explore the concept of fairness in primary relationships. What can you do when one or both partners feel the status quo is unfair? How do you prevent resentment from building up over time? It’s time to be intentional about your communication and to truly consider your partner’s needs. Stay tuned until the end to hear Jayson share the one question you should always ask yourself.Timestamps:1:22 - Fairness in your primary relationship10:55 - Solutions to unfairness14:25 - Write this question down!18:10 - Considering your partner’s needs25:03 - Don’t let resentment accumulate28:25 - Final tipLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Can talking about your problems or attending coaching or therapy make things worse? Ellen and Jayson break it down. Addressing an injury can be painful, and learning to accept temporary discomfort is often vital for growth. So what’s going wrong when talking actually makes things worse? Are your problems stemming from practitioner error? Stay tuned until the end to hear Jayson’s important reminder.Timestamps:2:04 - What going wrong with talking makes things worse?4:28 - Practitioner error7:40 - How talking about it can make it worse13:27 - Addressing an injury can be painful22:08 - Accepting temporary discomfort30:29 - Jayson’s important reminderLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
In this episode, Ellen and Jayson discuss two types of couples: dual entrepreneurial couples and copreneurs. Both types of couples face unique challenges, and Ellen and Jayson offer practical tips for each. How can you build resilience into your relationship so you can handle life’s storms when they come? Are you being curious enough about your partner? It’s time to choose the type of partnership you want today.Timestamps:2:00 - What is the duel entrepreneurial couple7:11 - Resilience problems11:26 - Tip: choose the type of partnership you want12:27 - Getting prepared for life’s storms15:03 - Get curious about your partner18:00 - Copreneurs and boundaries24:55 - Partitioning work and your relationship?28:08 - The problem with the male/female lens33:06 - Steps to take for copreneursLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Ellen and Jayson discuss type 1 (of 3) of the entrepreneurial couples and the unique challenges of being a partnered solo entrepreneur. What are the consequences of leaving traditional roles unexamined and how does gender play a role? How can you be intentional about collaborating with your partner? Why are primary relationships so difficult? What’s the downside of too much compartmentalization? Stick around until the end of the episode for practical tips on running a business without sacrificing your relationship—or missing out on your kids growing up.Timestamps:1:57 - Jayson’s journey with caffeine and alcohol4:03 - Challenges for the partnered solo entrepreneur10:39 - Gender roles and issues14:25 - Gender roles and child-rearing16:26 - The consequences of leaving gender roles unexamined22:30 - Be intentional about collaborating25:55 - Don’t take spending time with your kids for granted36:53 - Be attentive to your relationship40:33 - Why are primary relationships so difficult?44:49 - The problem with too much compartmentalizationLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Do you want a more securely attached relationship?Ellen and Jayson dive into the topics of attachment and repair. How can you rebuild security after a fight? Why is it so important to plan for relationship repair? Tune in to this episode to learn how to foster a more securely attached relationship while facing the challenges of parenting and running a business.Timestamps:3:05 - Attachment terminology21:13 - Why blaming your partner is unhelpful27:41 - Building security after a fight30:37 - Planning to repair32:48 - Prioritizing repair40:36 - What if you don't have time?Links:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Could your communication woes stem from attachment issues? Ellen and Jayson explore how attachment styles might be impacting your relationship, especially as an entrepreneurial couple. What’s your attachment orientation? What does secure attachment actually look like? And can you build security through repair? Stick around till the end of the episode for Ellen’s practical tip on taking concrete steps toward creating a more securely attached relationship.Timestamps:4:45 - Communication problem or attachment issue?13:36 - What’s your attachment orientation?18:56 - What does secure attachment look like?26:34 - Building security through repair?41:47 - Ellen’s practical tipLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Jayson and Ellen draw on their personal and professional experiences to discuss three types of entrepreneurial couples and the unique challenges each faces when it comes to business and maintaining relationships at home. Whether you're the sole entrepreneur in your household, a spouse supporting your partner’s business journey, a couple running a business together, or a couple simultaneously running separate businesses, you won’t want to miss this insightful episode.Timestamps:4:00 - Solo entrepreneurs with a supportive spouse14:55 - The duel entrepreneurial couple22:00 - Co-entrepreneursLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Ellen and Jayson discuss two different approaches to partnership in the home. What are the pros and cons of taking a divide-and-conquer approach? Can collaboration be a better option? What are the benefits and drawbacks of collaboration? And why is it important to embrace diversity in the household? Stay tuned until the end to hear Ellen’s rule of thumb.Timestamps:4:53 - The benefits of divide and conquer7:36 - Drawbacks to divide and conquer18:17 - Drawbacks to collaboration25:00 - Benefits of collaboration30:34 - Embracing diversity in the home40:00 - Ellen's rule of thumb and conclusionLinks:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Entrepreneurs face unique challenges when it comes to navigating the tension between work and home. In this episode, Ellen and Jayson discuss conflicts around gender roles, balancing work and family, and the importance of being intentional about maintaining relationships—even with a busy schedule. It’s time to start having productive conversations and finding the right balance between work and home.Timestamps:2:44 The tension between work and home6:00 Conflict around gender roles9:36 Balancing work and family18:20 Start getting curious26:00 Starting a productive conversation34:00 Being intentional about maintaining your relationshipsLinks:The Integrated Couples GroupEllen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
Jayson and Ellen talk about five reasons why being a team is so hard. How do culture and personal history impact teamwork? Is your sense of entitlement holding you back from effective collaboration? How can differences between people make for a stronger team? Find the answers to these questions and more in this episode!Timestamps:1:00 - 5 reasons why being a team is so hard1:47 - Cultural backdrop7:00 - Personal history11:49 - Your entitlement16:56 - Differences20:41 - Sharing leadership takes timeFollow Jayson and Ellen here:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!
In this episode, Ellen and Jayson dive into the powerful concept of shared leadership in relationships.What does it really mean to lead together? How can you honor your own needs while supporting your partner’s? What is “standing for three,” and why is it a game-changer for long-term connection?They also explore what it takes to keep your relationship from feeling like a chore—and how to breathe life back into your connection when it starts to feel heavy.Tune in for practical insights, real talk, and tools you can use to grow stronger together.Timestamps:2:41 - Jayson and Ellen's journey9:52 - Standing for three19:00 - What does shared leadership look like?26:30 - The boat metaphor36:24 - Conclusion Follow Jayson and Ellen here:Ellen's InstagramJayson's InstagramIf you find this show valuable, please follow the show on Spotify, give us a rating and tell your friends and family about Integrated!