Claim OwnershipThe Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives
Subscribed: 6Played: 90
Subscribe
© 2025 The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives
Description
Mismatched libidos destroying your relationship? Dr. Laura Jurgens helps couples solve desire differences with proven methods—even when therapy fails. This intimacy coach and former professor helps couples navigate different sexual needs with research-based solutions that actually work.
This isn't about forcing different sex drives to align. It's about understanding why you want different amounts of sex, learning to talk about it without fighting, and creating intimacy that works for both partners. Even if you're feeling rejected, lonely, guilty, broken, or ashamed for having needs—you're not. You're just missing the tools to bridge your desire discrepancy.
Every episode delivers practical strategies you can use immediately: how to boost desire, communicate without defensiveness, understand different arousal types, and reconnect with your body so intimacy feels natural again. Whether traditional relationship counseling hasn't helped or you're avoiding couples therapy altogether, these approaches work for the intimacy issues that most therapists aren't trained to handle.
Ready to stop the pursue-withdraw pattern that's creating distance and resentment? Get the science-backed roadmap to authentic connection that honors both partners' needs.
No ads. Just proven advice that works.
Disclosure: expect explicit content and swearing!
89 Episodes
Reverse
This episode will explain the best, biggest thing you can do to improve your relationship with your own sexuality this year AND your intimacy with a partner. This is the one thing most people are NOT doing – and it is FREE. That’s right, people will spend loads of money this year trying to spice things up by buying stuff: lingerie, sex toys, vacations, and even sex rooms. But most people will fail to do this one, totally FREE thing that is the biggest game changer of them all, and...
Today we're making it easier for you to ask for what you want in your intimate relationships by busting common myths that hold us back. Make your life easier by listening in. Special Event Links: Libido Mismatch Clarity Hour: walk away feeling better about your capacity to reconcile a libido mismatch in your relationship Free 1-hour FAQ and Ask the Expert February 18, 2025 5-6pm Eastern US time (Zoom option): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1232092474759?aff=oddtdtcreator Febr...
These are the steps to confidence and comfort that work. Tune in to learn the 4 key steps that will take you from anxious and underconfident to a true, deep, felt sense of comfort and capability in sex and intimacy. Frankly, they are not all easy, though some are surprisingly fun. These steps are what my practice is based on and why it's been so effective for my clients. That's why I'm sharing them with you today. Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without ...
So many people feel disconnected from their authentic sexuality due to a history of religious repression and shaming. In an ideal world, religion would be universally supportive and comforting. Unfortunately, so many people have had the opposite experience, and wound up with decades of harmful ideas about themselves and their sexuality that they struggle to overcome. In this episode, I interview Lisa, a former client, who emerged from many years of religious shame and repression to discover h...
Conflict is inevitable in close relationships. Doing it well is key to feeling confident, connected, seen, and safe. Many people avoid conflict, or let their default strategies overwhelm them in unhelpful ways. This episode will help you learn to stop avoding necessary conflict and instead use it to get closer and solve problems together. Conflict isn’t bad in itself – in fact, it’s really important for intimacy. It is doing conflict badly that is a problem. I was absolutely terr...
Pelvic and sexual pain is absolutely treatable, even though it can be hard to admit and challenging to find the right help. Join me to hear from pelvic health expert Dr. Susie Gronski. This episode will help you release shame or stigma about pelvic pain, which is very common. Dr. Gronski also explains common struggles with sexual and pelvic pain for both penis and vagina-owners, and helps you navigate the challenges in finding the right professionals to support you. Meet my guest: With ove...
It's common for people to feel upset and disappointed about having to ask for what you want. This is especially true if you believe you shouldn’t have to ask, and that your partner should "just know" what to do for you (whether that's in bed, in flirting, foreplay communication, or romantic gestures). After all, we see that played out in movies and TV all the time: the magic intuiting of the partner's needs. But while it's common to think "they should just know," it also tends to make ...
Ready to be one of the brave, joyful souls who wrings the most pleasure out of this life? I'm going to help you get there. It's December and that means it's the perfect time for some guided reflection: where are you at with your experience of pleasure and connection in your life? Where do you want to be? This episode will walk you through a self-assessment and help you figure out how to set yourself up for a beautiful new year with more pleasure and connection than ever before. Get my f...
Get started the fun way with strap-ons. Everyone can play with strap-ons and there are loads of reasons you may want to try it out. This episode will guide you through choices of equipment, accessories, positions. It will help you make the decisions that will bring you and your partner the most fun while avoiding painful bad experiences. Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at ht...
This episode is for all of you that have a hard time talking about sex, even with your partner. I'll cover the 3 top reasons people struggle to have conversations about sexual desires, needs, and interests. I'll also give you a place to get started in solving these challenges for each one. From the episode recommendations, here is a link to the blog post from Somatica Institute on my most highly recommended relationship repair process: https://www.somaticainstitute.com/blog/9-step...
If you can't figure out why women seem to get turned off by you even though you're a super nice guy -- this episode is for you! We cover how to know if you’re inadvertently creeping out women or turning them off no matter how great a guy you are (and 99% of the people with this issue are cis-gendered hetero men). We'll talk about why that can happen, why it's not your fault (but is something only you can fix), how to stop it, and what’s up if you’re on other end (meaning that you get creeped ...
Today we’re talking about butt stuff – all things anal pleasure. The rear end is the other half of your pelvis and has loads of nerve endings to enjoy, but it can also be a place of shame, pain and trauma when we aren't careful. I’m going to give you some perspectives on releasing shame and expectations. I'll also cover in detail the Cardinal Rules of Butt Fun so you can stay on the pleasure side of the equation rather than the pain and trauma side. As usual, I’m going to end on an invitation...
What is your relationship to physical pleasure? Today is all about investigating this question so you can experience more of it. We'll talk about how you can boost pleasure, dive in to how desire and arousal get confused with pleasure, and how to focus on what really brings deep satisfaction. Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido Find out more ...
Do you want to have G-spot or cervical orgasms, but don't know how to get there? This episode is for you! Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido Find out more about me at https://laurajurgens.com/
This episode will help you understand the most common underlying causes of erectile challenges and how to solve them. While drugs can mask symptoms, they don’t actually address the underlying causes of ED. I explain the big missing piece of the ED conversation, which is how relationships, socialized pressure, psychology and emotional situations affect erections. If you have a penis, play with people who do, or just want to be more aware of how to support people who do – this one is for you.&n...
This is a special episode, recorded at my home in Asheville, North Carolina, USA in the aftermath of massive devastation from Hurricane Helene. It is for all people dealing with difficult times. In it, I walk you through a calming exercise to help de-escalate anxiety, overwhelm, stress and other challenging, activating emotions. I also talk about how you can help other people through co-regulation. Note that there is no explicit content here and it is suitable for anyone. Way to...
This episode will help you get more creative and relaxed about foreplay. We'll cover why that’s super important for keeping the fire lit in your sex life, and what some of the blocks are to good foreplay. We're also going to dive into what's up with the foreplay deficit in America, the common problem of boring foreplay, and discuss how to overcome the worries and logistical issues that can keep us from getting more exploratory and creative. Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving...
This episode covers when to see a therapist and when to seek out coaching, strengths and weaknesses of both (because all modalities have pros and cons), and what to watch out for. I'll also go over different types of therapy and different types of coaching, and which versions are good for what situations and challenges, in my perspective. This is part of a series of sessions that aim to help you understand the various options for help available to you. Get my free guide: 5 Ste...
Ever want to know what actually happens in coaching sessions? This episode is story time. I’m going to give you a peek inside my office at what we did in several different sessions this week. Through these little stories, you will get a flavor of the kinds of activities we do in my particular coaching practice, and get a sense of the kinds of help available to you as an individual or a couple who wants to have a better love life. Take a listen and discover how progress and solving problems ca...
What can you do when you really want your partner to know what you want and they just don’t. You keep waiting and they keep not knowing and not doing it. You are disappointed, frustrated, or heartbroken (or all three). This is a recipe for disaster if you stay on the disempowering side of this. Take a listen and learn how to get out of this stuck place and move forward. Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point f...
Download from Google Play
Download from App Store
United States
https://crypto-trading.support is a lifesaver for newbies. The Crypto Trading Support market is too complicated, without guidance from experienced people, you will definitely lose money.