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The Parenting Junkie Show

Author: Avital Schreiber Levy

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Hi,
I’m Avital.
(pronounced Ah-Vee-Tal)
I’m a mindful parenting coach, childhood designer, and mother. My work is dedicated to empowering intentional, imperfect parents (like you and me!) who face chaos, clutter, and conflict, through online tools to reclaim peace, presence and play for your family.
40 Episodes
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Is the battle over your children’s screen time a constant source of frustration (and tantrums!)? Are you concerned they’re spending too much time on screens and that it might be unhealthy and even stunting their mental, social, and physical development?  🙋🏽 I’m right there with you. In this episode I talk with Dr. Alok Kanojia (a world-class addiction psychiatrist and reformed gamer) and his wife Kruti about gaming and screen time, breaking down the intricacies and nuances that will help each of us address the issue in our own families.  [3:05] What is Healthy Gamer?  [7:16] It’s challenging to balance children’s screen time without isolating them from their friends and community.  [8:48] If it causes a problem in a major area of life (mental, social, physical, etc.), then it is a problem.  [11:04] Reframe conversations with our children about video games/screen time and avoid being antagonistic.  [12:00] Consider having weekly check-ins where you discuss gaming & screen time with your child, creating a sense of shared responsibility and goals.  [13:27] Figure out what type of gamer our children are (do they like to build & create vs. high intensity and competition). It will help us find offline activities that they’ll be interested in.  [16:40] What’s a healthy amount of game/screen time? [19:30] Research indicates that violence in games doesn’t increase violence in real life. The communities that form around games are more concerning than the games themselves.  [20:10] Move away from headsets to speakers so we can hear what our children are hearing when they play (especially any conversation that’s happening with other people in the game).  [21:43] Watch for when our children have that blank stare/zoned out look. That’s a good time to transition to something else.  [22:18] Watch out for dopamine burnout. That’s when addiction can set in, and may require more direct intervention.  [24:00] How do we set healthy boundaries and expectations? [27:20] Find other ways for children to enjoy the characters and stories they love (soundtracks, short stories, etc.).  [29:47] Kids who gravitate toward games are often intelligent and are seeking ways to be challenged. [32:52] Should we limit screen time? There’s no one-size-fits-all.  [34:32] We’re trying to model and teach our children restraint, not restriction.  In the end, we need to trust our parental intuition to determine what’s right for our families. And we need to have grace for ourselves as we try things and figure out what works best for each unique child.  To find out more about Dr. Alok and Kruti Kanojia's work, head over to https://www.healthygamer.gg/. If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to Instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.   Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/39 
TPJ 38: Playful Parenting

TPJ 38: Playful Parenting

2019-10-0700:26:461

Have you ever seen a parent who really knows how to connect with kids? I think we all know someone who knows how to get them laughing and win them over with ease. One who can speak to kids at their level, calm them down when they get a little crazy or help them feel better when they’re upset. My brother is like this and it’s amazing to watch him in action. I wish it came as naturally to me as it does to him. Can you relate?  In this episode, we’re talking about what playful parenting is, why it works, and how you can incorporate it into your life right now.   [4:48] Playfulness is a superpower when it comes to interacting with children. [6:58] Responding to a situation playfully not only calms our children down but also calms ourselves down. [8:16] Play is how children learn, communicate feelings, connect with others, and deal with stressful situations. [9:45] Playfulness can help children express complex emotions. [11:05] Children can learn how to overcome fear when we role-play and teach them how to “talk” to fear. [11:55] Teach them to overcome shyness. [12:36] Teach them about diversity and being kind to people who are different.   [13:21] Prepare them for a difficult situation, like going to the doctor.  [15:25] Help them learn how to deal with sibling rivalry.  [17:06] Use play to get their cooperation and diffuse power struggles...like when you’re in a rush to go somewhere and your child is moving very slowly.  [18:49] Become contrary and silly about something you want them to do (like washing their hands with soap).  [20:14] When they’re resisting you, try the “full agreement” game.  [22:25] Additional ideas Playful parenting has so much potential to transform life with your children. All it takes is a little imagination and a good dose of silliness! If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to Instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on Instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/38 
TPJ 37: Start Accepting Now

TPJ 37: Start Accepting Now

2019-09-3000:33:36

In this episode I talk about the reality that as our children grow into adulthood, they may “veer off” the path that we hoped for them. Have you ever worried about that? Have you thought about how you may feel if they turn out to be different than the person you wanted them to be? How would you handle it if you’re disappointed about who they become?    [4:25] We have a lot of influence in their early years.  [5:51] Then there are the teenage years… [6:58] We want our children to be able to think for themselves, but we also don’t want them to make “bad” decisions. [8:39] What’s our long term vision for our relationship with our children?  [10:30] We need to start accepting them for who they are.  [12:36] What I mean by acceptance (and what it's not). [16:35] How can we not only accept who they are today, but also who our children will become?  [18:21] What are some of those things you think you wouldn’t be able to accept or tolerate?  [19:49] Not accepting our children may result in losing our relationship with them. [23:38] Not accepting our children may cause them to lose relationship with themselves.  [25:32] Let’s not let our own agenda for our children overpower our unconditional love for them. [27:12] Tolerance isn’t enough. We must accept, love, and celebrate who they are (and who they’re becoming).  [29:30] The byproduct of this level of acceptance will be more influence.   If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to Instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on Instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can! Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Resource Show notes: www.theparentingjunkie.com/37  
In this episode we’re going to talk about religious practices, faith, and religious communities. People often ask me about how they can combine their passion and commitment to parenting from a loving and respectful place with their commitment to their faith (which might be based on a type of rewards system itself!) It’s a tough but important question to answer. And this doesn’t apply to just organized religion; it’s applicable to any sort of belief system or way of life (like veganism, atheism, or any of the other “isms”).    [4:08] How do we get our children to adopt our belief system without controlling or manipulating?  [6:20] Dr. Shefali shares her thoughts on religion and parenting. [11:44] Those raised in a religious home often feel obligated to “carry the torch”.  [15:15] Any religion, belief, or way of life can come from a place of love or fear.  [16:59] Trying to force others into our beliefs is a sign of insecurity.  [18:09] Others raised in a religious home completely abandon their faith as they come of age. [19:25] It doesn’t have to be “all-or-nothing”. We can throw out what doesn’t serve us and keep what does. [23:06] Use critical thinking and discernment. [24:34] Check our motives; are we doing (or not doing) something because we’re afraid of what others might think or say?  [26:22] Do our beliefs make us separatists? [27:41] Is there duality in our beliefs?  [29:41] We should share our beliefs with our children and give them space to explore and make their own interpretations.  [30:15] Instead of forcing, controlling, or manipulating religious activity, let’s inspire it. [33:20] Try to create positive interactions. Make the positive to negative ratio 5:1. If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to Instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on Instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can! Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.   Links & Resources Gottman Institute article  Show notes: www.theparentingjunkie.com/36
In this episode we’ll discuss spirituality in parenting, regardless of one’s religion. [6:50] Are religious people happier? [8:29] Organized religions often facilitate social ties and community. [10:15] Religious people create time to pursue spiritual feelings and emotions. [13:25] We can harness these same feelings and emotions in our parenting. [14:58] If you’re curious about my personal spirituality… [17:50] Parenting itself is an act of spirituality. [18:21] Gratitude [21:13] Giving [24:45] Create a gateway to your emotions and spirituality and make it part of your day-to-day life. If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to Instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on Instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can! Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.   Links & Resources Show notes: www.theparentingjunkie.com/35 Quote from Brené Brown at 4:50: “Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning, and purpose to our lives.” This definition was first published in The Gifts of Imperfection. For some people, that power greater than us is God; for others, it’s fishing. Some are reminded of our inextricable connection by faith; others by expressions of shared humanity. Some find that religion is the best expression of inextricable human connection that is guided by love and compassion, and others believe that no entity has done more to corrode that connection than organized religion.”
Leadership and Family. How about Leadership and Parenting? Do these words go together?  When you became a parent maybe you began to feel more like a servant than a leader. Maybe you feel like you just need to keep people alive and happy, get them what they need, and be there for them.  Leadership is an act of service, but it's very different than being a servant.  When we're servants we don't have a vision, but when we're leaders this is at the very crux of good leadership.  A clear vision. In this episode we’re going to talk about leadership and how we can be effective leaders for our families. A lot of us were thrown into this parenting role without developing our skills as a leader. [3:46] Most of us default to what was modeled for us in our own childhood. Perhaps your own parents were permissive (weak leaders) or authoritarian (overbearing leaders). [7:08] Sometimes parenthood feels more like being a servant than a leader. [9:23] We should look to influential leaders for inspiration in our parenting.   [11:30] We are of service to our children, but not servants to them. [15:12] What would it look like if we stepped into the role of being the visionary for our family? [17:53] Bad bosses can teach us what NOT to do. [21:06] Great bosses can show us what it looks like to successfully lead a group of individuals. [23:36] We have an obligation to create a vision for our family…and it doesn’t happen through control. [26:59] Children need leaders. [28:01] Leaders keep themselves together. They don’t melt down on those they lead. [30:06] We have to be willing to make hard choices, often with imperfect information, and deal with the conflict or consequences. If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to Instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on Instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can! Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Links & Resources Show notes: www.theparentingjunkie.com/34 Related Podcast:  “I am the curriculum”  
The word authority gets a bad rap when it comes to peaceful parenting because it tends to get lumped in with the authoritarian parenting style which is the “do as I say or else” style. But authority is actually well rooted in the authoritative style where you have high expectations but you also provide high support and warmth.    When we choose to abdicate our role as the authority, our children are then left to make decisions they are not ready to make. Instead, if we become that empathetic firm leader, our children can relax because they know there's someone at the helm.   We need to get comfortable being the authority figure. As Janet Lansbury said “Children NEED parents. They feel no real freedom without boundaries. They are not little adults with the maturity to make healthy, thoughtful, sensible decisions about screen use, sugar intake, etc.” I couldn’t agree more.    In this episode, I’ll share why being the authority figure in your family actually liberates your children and 3 ways to get comfortable being the authority figure...here’s what you’ll hear:   [6:19] It’s our JOB! [7:30] Authoritative vs. Authoritarian [11:06] Legal and moral responsibility [12:47] Social and physical responsibility [15:50] Is authority harsh? [16:41] Don’t throw your kids in the deep end 🏊‍♀️ [18:47] Downside of democracy (in the home) [22:23] Janet Lansbury’s take on parenting by democracy [25:42] Eventually you will have no more authority… [26:44] #1 - Give small choices [30:44] #2 - Get comfortable [33:02] #3 - Why it’s an act of generosity     Remember, when children have a leader and have clarity around the expectations of the home they are liberated and free to enjoy the ride.   If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5 star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.    Want to connect to like minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.   Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/33
With all the great information and examples of parenting the way you desire to out there, do you ever feel like you constantly fall short? Like you’re failing as a parent and just not measuring up?    You’ve heard it before, “comparison is the thief of joy.” But, in this information at our fingertips world we are living in, it can be difficult to not fall into the trap of comparing.    We can also get discouraged even when we don’t compare ourselves to others but to some ideal version of ourselves that we constantly fail to be.  It can feel like a mountain towering over you with SO many areas to work on, and no one is immune (myself included).    In this episode, I’ll share the cause of this distress and 3 things to help you overcome it...here’s what you’ll hear:   [4:22] Information overload 📚 [7:43] Check your expectations [10:30] Breathe with me (bookmark this for later if you’re driving or want to keep coming back for more! 🧘‍♀️) [12:38] #1 - What to do if you MUST Compare [15:50] #2 - What we can learn from Warren Buffett [19:49] #3 - 🎶Celebrate good times, come on! 🎶   You can do this, you ARE doing this, treat yourself with compassion and celebrate your wins!   If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @theparentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5 star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.    Want to connect to like minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.   Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/32
I was chatting with a friend who’s recently become a first time mom. Her baby is just turning one and she told me: “I’ve really let myself go”... she described how she hasn’t been to the gym since her pregnancy, how she’s enslaved herself in service of her baby and how she hasn’t been out with her girlfriends in months.   If this is you, I’m going to share a mindset shift that will help you break free of victimhood and enslavement parenting - and how your child will benefit greatly from this shift as well.   You’ve heard it before, you’ve probably even said it - my children are my WHOLE world, my kids are my life. I know I have. It’s true that when we become a parent our children take a place in our lives that’s greater than anything that has come before them. We would literally lay down our life for our children.    While we would sacrifice our lives to save our children should we also sacrifice our life, well-being, and happiness just to care for them?  And if we do so what are we actually modeling for our children? What type of parents will they grow up to be when we choose this path? Parenting like this can lead to burnout. Maybe it’s time we also focus not just on parenting the whole child but on being the WHOLE parent...here’s what you’ll hear:   [4:29] What is a whole life? [6:37] Tying our worth to our sacrifice [9:08] More sacrifice, more work = better parent? (spoiler alert: NO, it doesn’t) [11:12] This does NOT mean become a narcissist [14:10] You make me… [16:46] The solution! Yes please! [18:14] Nourish yourself 🧘‍♀️ [19:51] Drop “or” - use “and” instead! [20:55] You are MORE than just a parent   Remember, you are the curriculum. How you show up, including most of all, how you treat yourself, is what your child will learn. Are you treating yourself the way you hope they grow up to treat themselves?   If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @theparentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5 star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.    Want to connect to like minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.   Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/31
Are you a working parent who tends to feel guilty while at work that you should be with your kids but then also feels guilty while with your kids that you should be working? Or perhaps you’re not a working parent but you are trying to meet your needs and desires in some way be it fitness, or a hobby and also feel guilty when trying to balance the two?   If you’ve ever felt like you’re a failure on all fronts this episode is for you!   This episode will mainly focus on balancing the needs from a work perspective but you can apply it to any faucet of your life. When we try to show up as different versions of ourselves and hide the parts of ourselves we don’t feel belong under that hat we can be left feeling fragmented, like we are a failure in both areas of our lives.   You’ll learn how to change your language to change your mind (spoiler alert: realize you have ONE life). Also, you’ll realize that it is ok and even expected if your experience in one role affects your experience in the other because after all, you are one integrated person.    In this episode we’ll discuss “work-life balance.” Is it an illusion to think that you can truly balance your work life and home life, especially in modern times when there is less separation between the 2? Here’s what you’ll hear:    [5:01] Conform to Society’s Desire? [6:58] Bring home the bacon AND spend more time with your kids [10:39] It’s all in how you frame it [13:11] Drop “or” choose “and” instead! [14:26] You don’t have to hide your “momness” at work [17:17] You don’t have to hide your professional self at home [18:41] Forget work-life, you have ONE life [20:59] Working IS good parenting - drop the guilt! [24:03] What are you teaching your children? (You don’t wanna miss this!) [28:37] Resent the “2nd shift”? If so this is the reframe that will change your life!   So is work-life balance achievable? Yes, of course. But only when you stop treating them as separate things and treat them as faucets of the one integrated life you have.    If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @theparentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5 star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.    Come join the messy middle and connect to like minded parenting junkies! Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.   Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/30
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Comments (2)

Diana Cross

Definitely not for me. I listened to the whole first episode to give it a chance and after wading through 15 minutes of nothing before it properly started, I didn't really agree with anything at all.

Sep 9th
Reply

Samantha Perry

Thank you Avital! It's like you know what I need to hear and when. You've changed the way I see parenting!

Apr 8th
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