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The Parenting Junkie Show

Author: Avital Schreiber Levy

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Hi,
I’m Avital.
(pronounced Ah-Vee-Tal)
I’m a mindful parenting coach, childhood designer, and mother. My work is dedicated to empowering intentional, imperfect parents (like you and me!) who face chaos, clutter, and conflict, through online tools to reclaim peace, presence and play for your family.
62 Episodes
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Renee Jain is back for another episode! With so many parents finding themselves homeschooling, we thought we should offer some practical tips to help parents through this challenging transition and help you (and your kids) stay sane!  [02:50] Cut yourself some slack. It's not realistic to think you'll be a homeschooling pro in a couple of weeks.  [03:05] Kids go through a "de-schooling" process; expect it to be rocky. [05:41] Be realistic about the amount of time it takes to figure out a flow that works for your family. [07:33] Some routine and rhythm is helpful. Try focusing on 3 "big rocks" [12:11] What is our role in all of this? [13:37] The highest priority is to preserve an energy for connection and family joy. [15:31] Trying to recreate a school experience at home is a complete waste of energy and causes disconnection between us and our children. [17:31] Let's not put academic pressure on our children during this time. They'll be able to make up for whatever was "lost". [19:15] So what should they be doing? Play.  [19:56] This is an opportunity to show us just how capable our children are of entertaining themselves. [22:54] Play is crucial for our children's development. [24:24] Become a play guru!  [25:59] We can have certain rules around a few things, but for the most part, let your children be. [27:43] We can help our children get into a state of "flow" in their play (which I call free play). [29:44] When you're in "flow", you're not directed or rewarded by someone else. The activity is the reward. [30:03] Don't interrupt their flow! Let them be. [31:54] This also teaches them responsibility for using their time well. [33:36] Experiment with strewing!  [35:52] Boredom is a choice. If they're bored, put it back on them. Help them in age appropriate ways, but let them figure it out.  [37:22] There's a difference between encouraging independent play and being disconnected. [38:00] Give your full attention during care-giving activities, but otherwise, give them some space. [41:14] Homeschooling doesn't require you to be constantly present all day long. [45:50] Thinking you have to entertain your children all day long will lead to resentment.  [46:39] Hold the boundary and they'll adjust and get over it. [48:22] Set limits to protect the relationship. [49:33] How to stay organized when strewing. [50:26] Don't take it personally if they aren't into a strew idea. Some will land, and some will not. It’ll take a little time to “de-school” and figure out a new normal. Focus on helping your children play and get into “flow” and don’t worry about their academics. It may not happen overnight, but you’ll see change quicker than you think.   If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Resources: Play Guru Course (free for a limited time) Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/59
As we face the COVID-19 Pandemic, there’s a lot we can’t control. It can cause major fear, anxiety, and worry...but it doesn’t have to. This episode is from a live video I did where I shared 3 questions you can ask when you’re facing a crisis, and I wanted to share it with you in hopes it will help you through these uncertain times.  [02:49] Question 1: Who do I want to be? [06:53] It may not come naturally...you'll likely have to work to be the person you want to be. [07:16] I try to imagine what my older and wiser self would say about the situation. [09:48] You can be doing the right "whats", but the "how" will make a big difference in your experience. [10:55] Question 2: How can I help? What can I [practically] do? [13:22] Our kids are looking to us to learn how to handle crises. [16:09] If you're not on the front lines, focus on what you can actually do. Spend your energy there.  [21:02] Question 3: Look for the blessings in your situation. [26:59] Challenges make us stronger...if we let them.  We don’t have control of this situation. And to a large extent we can’t control how it develops and how it changes life as we know it. But we can control our perspective and how we respond. The choice is ours.  If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to Instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on Instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Resources: Lawrence Cohen’s book The Opposite Of Worry. Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/58
Hi friend! Do your kids ever get angry or throw tantrums? Do YOU ever get triggered by their tantrums and lose it?  🙋🏻‍♀️I do. We all do. In this episode you’ll get to hear from the amazing Renee Jain of GoZen as we discuss how to “handle” emotions in both our children AND in ourselves.  [05:37] What is GoZen in a nutshell? [09:20] We have to make peace with the idea that stress and difficulties are a part of our humanity. [09:42] Feelings aren't good or bad. They're neutral. [11:24] Create a character (a name) for each emotion (such as “Fury” for anger). [14:30] Emotions come and go. They're not permanent. [14:44] We need to have a relationship with the [seemingly negative] emotion and see the upsides. [19:23] Anger/fury usually pops up for protection, or when boundaries have been crossed. [22:10] Don't try to teach your children things "in the moment."  [22:48] We need to model what it looks like and stop trying to control our children’s emotions.  [27:28] In those moments, try putting on your detective hat. [31:24] Play is so important, even when they're throwing angry tantrums. [32:51] Progress should be measured in years, not days.  [34:44] Practice or role play (outside of the moment) to teach them how they can respond differently when they're in the moment.  [41:21] It's a marathon, not a sprint. [44:52] We can't be afraid of feelings and try to always suppress and control them.  [48:26] Get a stuffed animal for each of the 4 main emotions and use them for role play. The work never really ends, but if we’ll remember that progress is measured in years and not days, that it’s a marathon and not a sprint, and implement some of the tips that Renee mentions, we’ll start to see some lasting change in ourselves and in our children.  If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Resources: Go Zen's Website  Go Zen’s Masterclass Dear Anxiety Podcast Episode Show Notes
So many of us want to improve our relationship with our partner. The love, romance, and fun we once had evaporated when kids came along, and we’re left scratching our heads, wondering if we made a mistake or if we can ever get that back. I’m here to tell you that it’s possible! And that it’s normal to go through these seasons of challenges in a relationship.  In this episode I’m going to give you the blueprint from my Parent In Love course and give you some actionable steps you can take to make changes in your partnership, even if you don’t sign up for my course.  [03:54] Why is it so hard to make your vision or dream for your relationship a reality? [06:30] Why I talk about improving our relationships. [12:26] It only takes one person to make significant changes in your relationship. [13:34] Step 1: Mindset [17:00] If you have any thoughts about leaving, that needs to be addressed first.  [18:18] Step 2: Communication [23:52] Step 3: Teamwork [30:13] Step 4: Vision [31:56] Learn how our own childhood and past experiences influence our partnership and parenting. [34:48] Make time for some deep conversations. [35:34] Step 5: Connection [40:45] Step 6: Leadership (how we parent together) If we don’t put some time and effort into changing ourselves, our partnership won’t change. Sure, our partners have things to work on...but so do we. And if we work on ourselves and how we react and respond, we’ll start to see changes in how our partner reacts and responds too. It only takes one person to make big changes in a partnership.   If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Resources: Unleash Your Inner Power Couple Workshop 10 Zen Secrets Of Persuasion eBook  Video about reconnecting with your partner Parent In Love Course
In this episode I’m going to give you a framework that you can use to create anything you want in your marriage, family, and life. [02:52] You can create family bliss [02:59] We want people to move from just consuming our content to creating. [05:31] What do we mean by "create"?  [06:11] Commit [09:39] Reframe [12:03] Educate [13:58] Action [15:54] Trust [17:22] Envision It’s a cycle...when you commit to making changes, reframe your circumstances, educate yourself, take action, trust the process, and envision what life could be, it fuels the process and creates more energy to continuously propels you through C.R.E.A.T.E process.   If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Resources:   Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/55
Mindset is so important when it comes to growth, challenges, and the daily "grind." In this episode I want to share a mindset shift that we can use to reframe the work it takes to create great relationships. And it comes from a surprising source...Michelangelo.  [03:21] Our shortcomings can leave us feeling broken, overwhelmed, and frustrated. [05:55] Sometimes we look to others to model what we should do, and over-work ourselves trying to fit someone else's mold. [10:27] Move toward a model that feels more organic and whole.  [11:47] There's a "power couple" inside of you and your partner.  [13:49] We are “figures slumbering in the stone.” [14:34] Focus on chipping away at those things that don't serve us. [16:53] You're the sculptor. No one else can do it for you.  [18:16] It’s more helpful to focus on what you need to take away vs. what you need to add.  [22:10] Chip away at our “low vibe mindsets.” [23:52] Chip away at our toxic patterns and behaviors. [25:25] Chip away at our misaligned choices When we start to chip away at these areas, we start to reveal our inner power couple. You’ll find that if you focus more on removing what doesn’t serve you, your relationships will transform and you’ll see real, lasting change.  If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Resources: Get my new [free] eBook, The Ten Zen Secrets Of Persuasion.  Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/54
When it comes to your relationship with your partner, do you ever feel like you're just managing? Like you’re just roommates? You may even feel downright miserable.  If you’ve ever experienced disappointment, frustration, unmet expectations, loss of passion, mediocrity, or misery, you’re not alone! Many people have experienced this, including myself.  In this episode we’ll discuss how ignorance and the desire to maintain the status quo may be holding you back from your dream relationship.  [05:17] Why I talk about partnering & relationships.  [06:07] Is ignorance really bliss? [08:36] Staying ignorant keeps us stuck in place, stuck in the status quo, and holds us back from our hopes and dreams. [12:34] Ending the relationship is not your only option. [14:15] Feeling like there's something missing and wanting more isn't wrong and doesn't mean you're broken. [17:52] You can't force someone else to change. The answer is to roll up our sleeves, get to work, and create the bliss we desire. [21:45] Either way you're expending energy...you might as well put it into activities that will improve your relationship! Redirect the energy you’re putting into staying unhappy to things that will move you forward. You’ll soon notice a difference and will build momentum in the right direction.   If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Resources: My new eBook, The Ten Zen Secrets Of Persuasion.  Live Webinar Feb 3 (or catch the replay) Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/53
How would you rate your relationship with your partner? Is it everything you dreamed of having? Or are you planning your escape?  Whether you’re miserable or fairly satisfied with your partnership, I’m here to tell you that it’s possible to have the relationship you’ve always wanted, EVEN if you’re ready to throw in the towel.  In this episode we’re going to discuss the 5 rungs of the “Partnership Ladder”, how you can assess where you’re at in 3 key areas of your relationship, and the mindset shift that needs to occur in order to climb the ladder.  [05:16] Divorce/breaking up can often be avoided with intentional work on our part. [08:07] Let's switch from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset regarding our relationship. [13:29] Key area number 1: Teamwork. [15:11] Key area number 2: Parenting styles. [16:56] Key area number 3: Connection. [18:09] The 5-step “Partnership Ladder.” [18:50] Rung 1: It's miserable. [21:28] Rung 2: It's stressful. [22:21] Rung 3: It's manageable. [24:49] Rung 4: It's satisfying. [26:22] Rung 5: It's blissful. [32:54] The places where we have the least amount of energy and capacity are often the places that need it most. [33:26] Our partnership influences every other area of our lives (for better or worse). [36:53] Life isn't a fairytale. It won't end happily ever after by chance. It's takes work! But it is possible.  It’s important to assess where we are in each key area, and commit to getting to the next rung in at least 1 key area. If you adopt a growth mindset and put in the work, you’ll be well on your way to having the relationship you’ve always wanted! If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Resources: My new eBook, The Ten Zen Secrets Of Persuasion.  Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/52
Would you like to know one thing you can do today to radically change your relationship with your partner?  Do you want to take your relationship to the next level? Instead of just treating symptoms and avoiding pain, can you work on improving your relationship into “peak performance” and make it the best it can be? And is it worth that level of effort?  Yes and yes!  In this episode we’ll discuss how we hold the power to make this kind of change in our relationships, and the choice is ours.  [06:46] What I learned from HypnoBirthing (and how it can improve our relationships). [11:39] We get to choose the story we tell ourselves, good or bad. [15:54] This is a key way to create power in our relationships [17:01] What words are you currently using to describe your partner? [18:09] Speaking poorly of others is very damaging. [19:16] Before we speak, ask ourselves these questions. [20:07] The power of not gossiping.  [21:35] If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t say it behind their back. [24:36] Drop the negative labels and words we use for our partner and relationship. [25:57] Use "I" statements. [27:09] Refrain from using hyperboles (exaggerations). We hold the power. We can choose to flip the switch, to focus on the positive instead of the negative. We can change the words we speak over our relationships, and in the process, change those relationships. The choice is ours!  If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Resources: Our course Parent In Love Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/51
We’ve all inherited a blueprint for relationships from our parents, whether we’ve acknowledged it or not. And unless we examine it further, we’re destined to have the same relationship as our parents. Some of us may have been blessed with a great model for how to properly treat others, communicate, and resolve conflicts. But many were not so blessed, and even if you were, there are likely things about your parent’s relationship that you would do differently.  In this episode we’re going to discuss the process of examining our parent’s relationship and how we can create the relationship and family we’ve always wanted (plus set up our kids for relational success!).  [02:52] Ask yourself: Do I want my parent's relationship? [04:48] Our parent's relationship formed a sub-conscious blueprint for our own relationships. [07:07] If we don't address it, we're likely to repeat it.  [08:35] Or we reject it completely and try to do the exact opposite. [11:08] Our kids learn how to interact with others from the way they see us interact with our partner. [15:26] Pick the best from our parent's marriage, and find alternatives for the rest. [17:57] Look at your parent's marriage with an external, objective viewpoint. [19:46] Envision the relationship and family you want to create. [22:27] Develop the skills necessary to make our dream a reality and start making small changes to our thoughts, words, and actions. We owe it to ourselves and our children (and their children!) to put in the work to create the marriage and family of our dreams. There will be a cascading effect that will change generations.   If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Resources: Our course, Parent In Love Episode 14 (You are your kid’s curriculum) Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/50
Do you or have you ever felt stuck in your marriage or serious relationship? Are you caught up in the day-to-day activities, wondering where the passion and excitement went? If so, you’re not alone. But it doesn’t have to stay that way! It’s up to us to choose what we want and make it happen.  [02:32] So many marriages and relationships around us are failing. [03:57] Even those that don't end in divorce seem to be full of conflict or complacency. [05:38] If you're feeling stuck or stagnant in your relationship, you're not alone. And there's something you can do about it.  [06:53] Most of our relationships are limited only by our imagination. [08:31] Some conflict is natural and expected. But how we handle it makes all the difference. [09:26] When you argue for your limits, you get to keep them.  [10:04] You cannot solve a problem from the same level at which it was created. [10:40] Don't fall into the Disney Princess trap. Wake up! [12:12] We get to create the relationship and family that we want. [14:24] Don't let resistance or limiting beliefs prevent you from creating the relationship of your dreams. [17:30] Our marriage could become the greatest source of healing and meaning in our lives. It takes a lot of effort...but we've already put in tremendous effort to organize as a family. Why not put in the next level of effort and make it great? If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/49
Should you tell your kids the truth about Santa or the tooth fairy? How about the “Elf On The Shelf”? I get asked questions about these and other traditions on a regular basis, and I thought I would round up some of my favorite conversations regarding these in this special holiday episode.  [3:03] Some TPJ updates! [11:06] Should we tell our kids the truth about Santa? [11:59] I feel strongly that everything I tell my kids should be 100% the truth. [13:18] You don't have to bring it up, but if they ask, be honest. [13:41] Soon your kids may ask you about serious matters, and they should not have any doubt that you're being honest with them. [15:08] Don't avoid the game or ritual; but consider being 100% honest about it if your children ask if it's real.  [16:58] My thoughts on the “Elf On The Shelf” tradition. [19:27] When children melt down, it's because there's an unmet need or our expectation isn't developmentally appropriate. [22:44] Our role isn't to manipulate our children into good behavior.  [23:30] This actually teaches them to only behave when they're being watched, and doesn’t teach them empathy. [27:03] How you can make it fun without the manipulation. [29:56] A letter to our families. [30:02] We may not like or approve of everything our family does, and they may not agree with the way we do things (or don't do things).  [30:40] Let's reframe; they often do the things they do or say the things they say because they care about us! [31:02] Let's try to model what it looks like to be loving and accepting, even when people disagree with us. [31:28] We shouldn't let little annoyances come between us and the people we love (and who love us). [31:55] Let's focus on the gift of spending time together. When you approach these issues with the mindset of a conscious and peaceful parent, you’ll find ways to enjoy the holidays and their traditions without the sometimes negative and harmful effects they may otherwise bring.  If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Links & resources mentioned: Should You Tell the TRUTH about Santa? STOP! Elf on a Shelf Dear Family, A Letter For The Holidays Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/48
In this episode you’ll get to listen in on a conversation I had with Rachel Rainbolt from Sage Parenting. Rachel is a coach, writer, podcaster, and advocate of all things gentle parenting, natural homeschooling, and simple living.  We know you’ll get a lot out of this conversation with two mommas who don’t always get it right, who sometimes lose their cools or get overwhelmed, but always try to do what’s best for their ever-changing children and families.   [4:13] Find the overlap between your child’s needs and your concerns and collaborate with them to find a solution that addresses both.  [5:02] Example of overlap. [6:30] “It feels really great to treat children like actual human beings, deserving of respect, and honoring our own needs and feelings in the process.”  [6:59] Some mistakenly believe this only works for older kids.  [8:18] Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations or have this “template” we try to use. We need to keep our expectations aligned with each unique, individual child. [10:48] Have grace for yourself...we're not all born as great parents. It takes effort and work.  [11:23] Narrate out loud what's going through your head. [11:36] We all lose it sometimes. Model what it looks like to ask forgiveness and make repairs. [13:55] Get yourself out of that fight, flight, or freeze response so you can think and respond instead of reacting. [14:48] Rachel’s approach to homeschooling.  [16:17] Started out in public school, but it didn't feel right.  [18:27] This is how children naturally learn and develop. [22:16] When you hold space for your child's preferences & desires, they'll do the same for you. [25:09] Some parents need a little more structure around their child's education, and that's ok. Find a balance. [26:52] Relax on the timelines of what they're supposed to learn. don't need to push things so early. [31:30] Rachel’s approach with screens at home. [32:52] Don't fear technology. Screens are like a tool or part of the environment. [37:38] We're all unique, and you have to do what works best for your family. [40:59] What is the bucket system? [45:02] Rachel’s approach to minimalism and simple living.  [45:32] We all need to simplify our lives to give us space to work on the things that are most meaningful. [47:28] Involve your children in conversations about finances. [50:13] You can bring your kids into money conversations without adding the burdensome or stressful elements of your financial situation.  [53:39] Many necessary life skills aren't learned in school.  [58:17] Keep a list of things that each child wants. As holidays or birthdays approach, revisit the list and ask if there’s anything they no longer want.  [58:43] Give things away to other families/children and allow your children to see the positive effect it has on that family. If you make it a priority to discover and honor your child's preferences & desires, you’ll find that they'll do the same for you and it will completely change the dynamics of your family!  If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Links & resources mentioned: Rachel’s website, Sage Parenting @SageParenting on IG Free to Learn by Peter Gray The Opposite Of Spoiled by Ron Lieber Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/47
The holidays are often a mixed bag of emotions. It can be a privilege to have family and friends to meet up with during the holidays. But for many of us it’s a season of stress and frustration...especially when you do things differently from the norm, like peaceful & conscious parenting.  [4:34] The stress and anxiety can become “normal” for us if we don’t do something about it.  [6:50] We shouldn't let differences and minor issues damage our relationships. [9:58] Tip #1: Your breath. [13:38] Tip #2: Visualization.  [17:40] Tip #3: Focus on the good, not the bad. “Energy flows where attention goes.” -Tony Robbins [22:53] Remember this season is temporary! [23:51] You are the main leader and influence in your children’s life.  [24:56] Being with diverse groups of people will broaden their horizons and capacity!   [25:58] Take breaks.  [27:55] Channel your inner “peaceful ninja”. We can’t avoid some of the more unpleasant aspects of gathering with family over the holiday season, but we can use these tools to reduce the stress and anxiety that normally come with this time of year. Let’s use our breath to stay calm, our bubble to keep criticisms or judgments from bothering us, and focus only on the good during this holiday season.  If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Links & resources mentioned: Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life Byron Katie’s website, The Work.  Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/46
In this special bonus episode of the Parenting Junkie Show, I interview Tosha Schore, whose mission is to create a more peaceful world one sweet boy at a time. Tosha helps parents who have young boys who are struggling with aggression issues, helping change their behavior without using punishment or harshness.  This episode will be helpful even if you don’t have boys. You no doubt have boys in your life in some way (nephews, friends of your kids, etc.) and you’ll learn about what we need to change regarding the way we treat boys in our culture.   [3:46] We have an opportunity to bring more peace to the world by changing how we parent/treat boys. [11:12] Men often tamp down their boy's feelings to help them avoid the shame they experienced as a child. [13:08] The way to “fix it” is not by shaming parents or the boys. [15:32] Parents get scared; men don’t want their boys to be shamed like they were, and women are often triggered by past trauma.  [16:03] First we have to heal ourselves and work on our own triggers. [17:18] We often believe a fallacy that if they behave “properly,” then they get our love and affection. We need to flip that around.  [22:23] Move in close and try to be playful about it. [23:39] It's not about teaching them what’s ok and what’s not...they know.  [27:46] Kids often will say or do things that are contrary to what they really want or need. [30:34] Your body/physical touch is a parenting tool. [31:55] Setting limits is extremely important for the well-being of you and your family. [33:52] Limits will shine a light on the area(s) your kid's struggle with. [37:17] Limits can (and should) be set with love.  [38:25] We often subconsciously expect kids to love the limits we set...but they won’t. You have to get comfortable with the fact that they won’t like it.  [40:33] Why do we do things that don’t work over and over, expecting them to suddenly start working?  [42:53] Being playful and silly is a great way to diffuse tense situations. [43:28] Once a child feels seen and connected, he wants to cooperate. [44:57] If you're uncomfortable with aggressive play, step outside your comfort zone and experiment with allowing it. [51:56] What about aggressive video games? [53:09] Do what’s best for you and your family (even if “all their friends” play a certain game and you feel uncomfortable with it).  [55:04] Be interested in what your kids are interested in and learn about the games they’re playing. [55:28] Tech should stay in a family space (i.e. not in a bedroom).  [56:01] If something interferes with their wellbeing, you may need to set limits around that activity. And experiment with limits and adjust as necessary.  [58:50] Behavior doesn't equal identity. If we consistently step toward our boys when they act up and focus on building connection, we’ll start to see the aggressive behaviors “peel off” (like layers of an onion). Remember, your sweet boy is in there regardless of current behavior If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Links & Resources Mentioned: Tosha’s book Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges Tosha’s website Tosha’s Facebook Page Tosha’s course “Out With Aggression” Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/podcast_type/tosha-schore  
Do your children ever act entitled or ungrateful? Mine do, and it’s a major trigger for me. While I don’t want to deprive my children of abundance, safety, joy, experiences and some material things, I don’t want to raise entitled and ungrateful children (who will turn into entitled and ungrateful adults)! So what are we to do??  That’s what we’re talking about in today’s episode. [3:59] How entitled are our kids? We can use these questions as a gauge.  [6:36] If our children are acting entitled, what do we do? Getting angry or yelling makes it worse. [7:28] Giving in makes it worse too. [11:02] My aim isn’t to give my kids a fairy tale existence.  [17:24] It’s a gradual learning curve. [19:48] Entitlement isn’t about having “the thing”; it’s about the attitude toward having “the thing”. [20:06] The opposite of entitlement isn’t deprivation; the opposite of entitlement is gratitude.  [21:34] Practical step #1 to decreasing our children’s entitlement: Restrain our overprotective instincts.  [24:30] Practical step #2: Help them frame frustrations within a broader perspective. [26:59] Practical step #3: We should avoid bribing our children or paying them for chores. [28:29] Practical step #4: Stop doing things for your children that they can do for themselves. [30:27] Practical step #5: Practice gratitude regularly. [33:07] Practical step #6: Give our children perspective by sharing how difficult things are/were for other people.  The opposite of entitlement is gratitude, and the route to gratitude is perspective. We need to remind ourselves of how good we have it and stop taking it for granted.  If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to Instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on Instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Links & resources mentioned: Next Bliss Retreat  Empathic Limits Course Amy McCready’s book “The Me, Me, Me Epidemic” Peaceful Parenting Doesn't Work?! Allowance and Chores  10 Tips for Teaching Gratitude Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/45
We all want what’s best for our children, but sometimes we can be a little too protective, do too much for them, and expect too little from them.  In this interview with Becki Biermaier, who has experienced more than her share of challenges as a little person, we discuss what parents can do to help their children develop resilience and overcome the challenges they face in life.    [8:05] Pity is disempowering. “Until a child knows they can’t, they think they can.” [9:46] Boundaries and expectations.  [11:43] Allow our children to experience discomfort and challenges [13:46] Celebrate progress instead of complaining that our children need our help to complete a task.  [15:00] “What kids need the most is to do things for themselves, with you telling them they can.”  [16:51] Build margin into our schedule so we can slow down and let our children try things on their own. [18:09] Help younger children by promoting their independence and helping them learn that every choice has a result.  [21:05] Elementary school age: teach them to brainstorm strategies and think through “if/then” scenarios (and to regroup when they fail or face challenges).  [23:00] Middle schoolers; reinforce the idea that their decisions impact their results.  [23:40] Even though they resist it, middle schoolers need more of your time.  [25:20] High school; they do more on their own and need a safe space to come to you with questions and issues.  [28:15] Overcoming bullying or getting picked on. [31:02] Overcoming learning or social disabilities and challenges. [37:18] Partner with your child’s teachers & school administration. I think we’ll find that as we expect more from our children, build in more time to let them try things on their own, celebrate their wins, and help them regroup after failures, they’ll develop resilience and overcome any challenges that come their way!  If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Links & resources mentioned: Becki’s email address: everybodylookup@gmail.com  Becki’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTG10qvgLMRSoB9OIc6xNxA  Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/podcast_type/becki-biermaier/
Are your kids ever on the receiving end of name-calling? Do they get their feelings hurt by other kids, and you find yourself struggling with how to deal with it or help them through it?  In this episode we’ll dive into some ways you can help your children become healthy and strong individuals by coaching them through the friction and conflict they’re bound to experience throughout their childhood.                      [3:11] Name calling and hurt feelings are par for the course and aren’t as bad as you might think.   [4:54] Our natural tendency is to be empathetic and protective...but sometimes we overprotect. [6:59] Being overprotective can make our children feel incapable of handling conflict.                      [8:04] We also don’t want to just brush it off as no big deal.  [9:40] There will be times when you need to involve other people (parents, teachers, etc.).  [10:41] Not every single conflict between kids is “bullying” or “unsafe.”[12:47] We need to experience friction & conflict in childhood to help us learn how to deal with it.                   [18:22] The 3 “un-truths” explored in The Coddling of the American Mind.  [20:09] Give a little bit of empathy, but mostly focus on coaching them.           [21:52] The untruth of fragility. [24:09] The untruth of emotional reasoning. [30:52] The untruth of us vs. them. Let’s do our best to reframe the conflicts our children experience as opportunities to coach them and help them develop into healthy and strong people who can handle whatever life throws at them.   If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Links & resources mentioned: Book The Coddling of the American Mind https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/events/ Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/44
Consumption...gifts...toys. If you're like me, you live in a society where materialism and the availability of toys and “stuff” is overwhelming, you likely struggle with the desire for “more” vs. minimalism and mindful consumption. In this episode we discuss how we can be eco-conscious when it comes to gifts and the holidays. [3:33] The deck is stacked against us when it comes to consumption and materialism...especially in the U.S. [6:29] The real issue is with our own internal struggles with mindful consumption. [6:42] We also need to give ourselves the grace and freedom to live a joy-filled life. [8:12] The world (and our children) needs less consumption. [15:29] Idea #1: Adopt an animal from a shelter. [16:48] Idea #2: An experience. [18:20] Idea #3: Second hand (used) items. [19:58] Idea #4: Long lasting/high quality toys. [21:40] Idea #5: Digital gifts. In the end what makes the biggest impact is minimizing and making special occasions less about “stuff” and more about what really matters.    If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.   Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Links & resources mentioned: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/events/ Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/43
In this episode I interview Julie Bogart (author of the incredible book The Brave Learner and founder of https://bravewriter.com)! Join us as we discuss ideas for making learning fun and how you are responsible for your child’s education even if you don’t homeschool.  [6:53] “How you relate to your child around their education is the key to successful growth of their love of learning.” [10:47] We can partner with our children to give them an education that they enjoy and gives them a hunger for learning.  [13:13] Bring play and enchantment into learning instead of forcing kids to leave play to do hard work. [15:59] Whether we homeschool or not, an involved parent leads to the best outcomes for our child’s education.  [19:15] The more we support our children, the sooner they choose to try on their own. [19:36] We need to provide the corresponding level of support to the presenting need.   [22:34] Sometimes the teacher is the leader, sometimes the child is.  [32:56] Don’t miss out on opportunities for your child to learn how to teach, even if it means you have to play a game you don’t particularly enjoy (Pokémon anyone?? 😂 ) [34:49] Learning is invisible to parents (you can’t see in their head) so we often seek “paper and pencil” for reassurance that learning is occuring.  [38:35] Kids are constantly pay attention and learning...but what they’re paying attention to doesn’t always register in our minds as learning, according to traditional academics.  [39:04] The best approach to screen time (spoiler alert; there isn’t one). [45:58] We all struggle at times, but we shouldn’t stay there. No one can live in “struggle” long-term. There needs to be a pivot; we need to find a way to move forward, out of the struggle. [47:12] The way to move forward is subjective, not prescriptive. It depends on the needs of our individual families and what’s best in each season.  [49:20] “Liberation comes when you take back your right to explore as many options as necessary to find today’s right fit for you and your family.”  Whether we homeschool or not, we are ultimately responsible for our children’s education and need to be as involved as possible to fuel their love for learning.  If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.  Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Links & resources mentioned: Julie’s book The Brave Learner https://thebravelearner.com/ (be sure to download the free companion guide from this website!) https://bravewriter.com/  Julie’s podcast & blog info @JulieBraveWriter Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/42
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Comments (6)

Ruska R

Avital, just put those cereals in special boxes. They stay fresh & you don't need to roll anything. Problem solved. (Posting this with humor. 🙂) You are awesome, thank you!❤️

Nov 4th
Reply

Ruska R

This episode is pure GOLD!

Nov 4th
Reply

Jordan Nicole

I'm so incredibly type A and when given a strict guideline I follow it to the T in an almost unhealthy way. So the permission to relax and change things if it's not working for me is the best advice I've ever gotten. I feel more confident in trusting myself and I'm inspired by your advice and experience. Thank you Avital!

Oct 23rd
Reply (1)

Diana Cross

Definitely not for me. I listened to the whole first episode to give it a chance and after wading through 15 minutes of nothing before it properly started, I didn't really agree with anything at all.

Sep 9th
Reply

Samantha Perry

Thank you Avital! It's like you know what I need to hear and when. You've changed the way I see parenting!

Apr 8th
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