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The Rabbi and The Shrink

Author: Rabbi Yonason Goldson and Dr. Margarita Gurri, CSP

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What do you get when you cross an Orthodox hitchhiking rabbi and a Catholic Cuban psychologist? An award-winning podcast with unpredictable conversations about everyday ethics and the secrets for successful relationships in business, family, and community. Contact us with questions and comments: http://therabbiandtheshrink.com/ Podcast@TheRabbiandTheShrink.com
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How does pleasure distract us from our own unhappiness?How is social media designed to control our minds and behaviors?What is the formula for good digital health and well-being?Learn the answers to these and many other essential question when digital wellbeing expert Giancarlo Pitocco joins The Rabbi and the Shrink in this episode from the archives.https://www.linkedin.com/in/gcpofnyc/purposeful.co1:00 We need to reclaim control of our lives from technologyShift your attention from being hijacked by our devicesFB has been exploited and misused by unethical players to manipulate and serve their own agendasDo you know how much time you’re spending in front of a screen?4:30 We don’t know what happiness is.Pleasure often distracts us from our own unhappiness.If you’re not dependent on external factors for happiness, you’re in control of your life and live more fully7:00  Is it good to be easily amused?Being delighted by simple pleasures makes the experience of living richer.Social media is designed to keep us consuming, almost but never quite satisfied.11:00 Are you making your future self proud by what you’re doing now?What happens when our lives become all about comfort, convenience, and stimulation?The purpose of the game is to play the game; the purpose is the processWe’re living in the Roman Empire14:00 What are you doing with your life if you don’t have aspirations and values?Pushing the boundaries of comfort and familiarity keeps us growing and truly alive“The obstacle is the way”We can be navigators of our lives, or we can be carried on the current.Prioritization give us control19:00 The five stages of digital well being1. Attention -- you want to be the DJ of your life by placing the needle where it should be2. Values -- Evaluate how new technology affects your relationships, your work, and your attitudeswe can’t eliminate technology from our lives, but we can choose how to allow it in.Google “dark patterns” to learn the dangersSocial media is designed to make you addicted; they are selling your time and attention, turning you from a consumer into a commodity.“The Attention Merchants” by Tim Wu35:003. Boundaries -- without priorities, you never get to the important stuffDon’t plug in your phone next to your bedBuy an alarm clock37:304. High quality leisure timeUnwind doing something projective and creativeSpend time with people39:005. Solitude -- learn to be with yourselfThe fundamental value of self-discipline.Easy and fun entertainment seduces us from doing what we know is in our best interest.No one changes behavior without incentive.  That’s why a clear WHY is critical to our digital health.44:45 The word of the day: dissilient -- bursting open or springing apart (Yiddish: plotz)We should be living with so much enthusiasm welling up inside us that we don’t seek or respond to external distraction. 47:00 Education can be merely a form of entertainment if it doesn’t lead to action.Go into your phone and look at screen time or digital wellbeing and see how much time you’re spending on your device.49:00  How would your life and relationships be healthier if you spent less time on technology?What will you do or have you done to make a positive change in your life?
How do we nurture our passion when the world around us stands in our way?What’s the difference between passion and indulgence?How can employers increase passion?These and other important questions are addressed when passion guru Kira Day joins The Rabbi and the Shrink.https://thepassioncentre.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/kiraday/1:00 What is the passion gap?Too many people don’t care about their workConfusing passion with mission sends us down the wrong pathOften we need to come from a place of darkness to appreciate light4:30 Our pains become our passions, and tension produces balanceWhat is the Passion Test?What are the internal and external drivers of passion?Passion makes us better9:00 The four passion bucketsWhat are the underlying reasons for our passions?Internal -- natural interestsSocial environment -- connections and safetyFunctional -- support and developmentPsychological -- autonomy, mastery, purposeDifferent people can be passionate about the same thing for very different reasons14:00 Why are we passionate about spectator sports?Gladiatorial battle or hero’s journey?If entertainment distracts us, does that make us less passionate?18:00 What’s the difference between passion and indulgence?Passion = meaning x investmentPurpose = passion sharedOverindulgence reveals imbalance24:00 How can employers increase passion?Care more!Put more heart into a job by allowing people to be people… give them a reason to be loyalYou can’t buy loyalty with money but with meaning28:00 Why do ethics produce passion?Why is procrastination a gift?31:00 Word of the day: Imputresciblenot liable to decomposition or putrefaction; incorruptible:Keeping passionately alive ensures our spirit won’t putrefy and we won’t corrupt our core valuesPassion is the lift inside of us which connects us to the world around us34:00 How do we nurture our passion when the world around us stands in our way?You -- obstacle -- passionBelieve in yourself and your purpose, then obstacles will move out of your way39:00 With passion anything is possibleWhen in doubt, pretend to be you
What’s the difference between influence and manipulation?How has COVID created the need for a new leadership breed?How do you lead those who don’t want to take risks to do what’s right?These and other fascinating questions are addressed when Judith Germain, the Mindful Maverick, joins the Rabbi and the Shrink in this archive episode..https://www.linkedin.com/in/judithgermain/https://themaverickparadox.com/1:00 What is the Maverick Paradox?What kind of leader will risk everything to do what’s right and give up everything to defend it?Why do companies hire mavericks and then resent them?You can be a maverick by personality or by visionMaverick leader is who you are and what you actually doEveryone can be a maverick leader5:00 We all have the potential but we don’t all have the will“Maverick leaders will swim upstream like a salmon even though they know there’s a bear waiting for them7:30 How do you lead those who don’t want to take risks to do what’s right?All of human experience is paradoxicalLeaders need to be consultants and promote an antifragile culture12:00 How do we help mavericks grow?The difference between extroverted mavericks and introverted mavericksPatience is a learned traitManage the tension between independence and interdependenceAuthentic leadership is getting others to want to do the right thing15:00 What’s the difference between influence and manipulation?It comes down to intentionEventually people revolt against manipulationMaverick leaders are great storytellersWhat’s the difference between socialized mavericks and extreme mavericks?19:00 It’s lonely being a maverickPull yourself out of the fight to carry on the fightWhen does tension lead to innovation?How has COVID created the need for a new breed of leaders?25:00 If you’re not being challenged, something is wrong.Unanimity is overratedIf a maverick stops arguing, it means they’ve stopped caring29:00 Four different personalitiesConformist, maverick behaviorist, socialized maverick, and extreme maverickBalance the good of others and the good of themselvesWhat are the defining characteristics of a maverick leader:DeterminedReputation -- character and competenceInfluenceVersatilityExecutionNarrationDifferences with a sense of common vision drives success34:00 Trust is built or undermined over timePrincipled leadership inspires trusting followershipGrover ClevelandUnreasonable expectations sabotages the systemEthics always begins with accountabilityOnly through passionate engagement and constructive disagreement can we get closer to the truth45:00  Word of the day:  iconoclastChallenge the conventional wisdomWhen politics becomes religion, there can be no ethical debateStrike the balance between civility and being contrarian
How do we defend and secure free speech in a culture that is increasingly uncivil and disinterested in facts and logic?This is the topic we take up when self-care guru, corporate trainer, and motivational speaker Breeda Miller joins The Rabbi and the Shrink.Here are the bullet points:The elements of free speech: ability, consequences, and responsibility.Language and thought -- one can corrupt the otherCandor vs courtesyThe ability to disagree without being disagreeableIs it okay to speak up when you don't understand the culture?We can't legislate good behavior, but we can legislate responsible behavior.Curiosity vs. judgmentalism.Relationships can change hearts and minds.Tone is integral to communication, and we have to give others the chance to know us.We have to be willing to question where our beliefs come from.Travel -- broadening our boundaries -- provides us the opportunity to appreciate different outlooks and perspectives.Oppressive culture suppresses thought by controlling speech.How do we engage people who reject facts and logic?Challenge yourself to articulate opposing points of view.Good intention, clear thinking, informed action lead to ethical decision making.Free speech isn't free, freedom is earned, and rights go hand in hand with responsibilities.
Why are New Year's resolutions so hard to keep?Do we want to change enough to really commit ourselves?What are some basic strategies to do and be better?These and other critical questions are addressed in this archive episode of The Rabbi and the Shrink.1:00 Repentance means a return to the straight and narrow through 1) stopping the improper behavior, 2) feeling remorse, 3) verbalizing our apology, and 4) planning a strategy not to backslide into old behaviors.  Without a specific, concrete plan we have little chance of achieving lasting change.4:00 The story of the first time Rabbi Goldson observed the Sabbath according to Jewish law, which demonstrates that the promises we make to ourselves may be the most important promises we keep.9:30 Many people are not good to themselves, which may be why ethics really does start at home.  What do you do to take care of or honor yourself?11:00 Is there any sin that is truly unforgivable?  According to the sages, only seven biblical figures totally forfeited their share in the world to come through actions that led others to sin. 13:00 Start with achievable goals. Find accountability partners.15:00 Are there do-overs?  Aside from the most egregious and lasting harm we might cause, we should be able to hit a reset button and commit to better behavior than wallowing in regret or resentment.If a sin leads me to set higher standards for myself, then it actually becomes metabolized into something positive.18:00 Look at the past with fresh eyes, recognize each party’s responsibility, evaluate with empathy, identify what needs fixing.We are heroes and victims and witnesses in almost every situation.  We need to ask ourselves: how do we become heroes?21:00 There’s no app for being ethical, and there shouldn’t be.  It’s by grappling with gray areas that we develop our ethical muscles.When it comes to our errors, we can always make ourselves better, but we can’t always repair the damage we’ve done.23:30 Moderating our response to others’ mistakes, especially children.25:30 The Nazi officer asked a camp inmate for forgiveness.  Should the Jew have forgiven him?28:00 Does mental illness exempt a person from culpability?  But it shifts responsibility to seeking help and to those in a position to help.  Sometimes we just have to struggle with the impossibility of finding closure.33:00  What was, what can be, and what should be, is the path forward.Continuing behavior should not be forgiven unless it is uncontrollable or no effort is being made to control it.  The evils of sarcasm.39:00 Word of the day: incogitant -- thoughtless, careless, or lacking the faculty of thought.  We have to be thoughtful to be ethical, but we also have to balance high standards against reasonable expectations for others and ourselves.The Hebrew word for rebuke shares its root with the word for vindication.42:30 How do we understand the biblical command not to bear a grudge?  We can’t control our feelings, but we can control whether we act on or articulate our feelings.We don’t have to say everything we think. Only speak when it’s likely to do some good.47:00 If two people both think they’re doing the right thing and they disagree with each other, how do we reconcile their different perceptions?Schedule a time to discuss disagreements; don’t ambush people.“I’d like to understand your point of view.”54:00 How do parents confront school policies or actions by the school that the parents see as unethical.  Often a third party intervention can de-escalate conflict.
How do you tell the truth when there’s so much pressure to do the opposite?How do we stop greasing the slippery slope to hell?What is “ethical fading” and what can we do about it?These and other compelling questions are addressed Courageous Leadership pioneer Brooke Deterline joins The Rabbi and the Shrink.https://www.thecourage2lead.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/brooke-deterline-428aa7/1:30  Our most real beliefs may not be true“The Heroic Imagination Project”It’s easy for good people to do the wrong thing under pressureThe danger of situational influences“Now that we know, what will we do?”8:00 Brooke’s own epiphany of moral vulnerabilityResponding through social fitness against our biologyProfessor Dumbledor’s wisdom to combat groupthinkCourageous democracyGrief is a powerful connector14:00  Strengthening ethical decision-making through cognitive behavior trainingPhysical mindfulnessWrite down your negative automatic thoughts, i.e, fearsIdentify the behaviors emerge in stressful situations and what’s the likely impactWhat we can do that’s helpful to ourselves, e.g., give ourselves distanceWe can always circle back if we don’t get it right in the momentForward-cast others in their best roles22:00 Even if it’s not my fault, it might still be my responsibilityIn teams, we learn how to give those around us the support they want and needDon’t be afraid to askSimulations need real anxiety to create muscle memoryWhat are the outcomes we want based on our values?33:00 Have we thought enough about our core values?We may not have learned to articulate themGod created difficult people for our benefitThe domino system of learning empathyInvite participants to take the role as leaders39:00  The 4 stages of psychological safetyBelonging safetyLearning safetyContribution safetyChallenger safetyTransform anxiety into excitementThree contrarians can create safety to challengeThe danger of ethical fading48:00 Why do we miss the gorilla in the room?Learn to see in 3-DDon’t trust yourself until the day you dieWe need to keep each other honestThere’s no such thing as an expertDissoluteindifferent to moral restraints; given to immoral or improper conduct; licentious; dissipated.DissolutiveDecomposition into fragments or parts; disintegration. Termination or extinction by disintegration or dispersion: Indulgence in sensual pleasures; debauchery. The dissolution of the empire was remarkably swift.Joseph’s brothers and Reuben’s irresolutionWhen we see ourselves as individuals, we lose conviction in carrying though on our valuesConnection with the right people is a source of moral strength
How do you make the leap from damage control to prevention?What question should leaders be asking themselves?What is the ROI of generosity?These and other transformational questions are addressed when generosity guru April Shprintz joins The Rabbi and the Shrink.https://www.linkedin.com/in/aprilshprintz/https://drivenoutcomes.com/1:30 What are magic blue rocks?We don’t always recognize how we can inspire othersMindset makes all the differenceThe power of authentic storytelling6:30 The belief that life can be differentWe can feel shame for circumstances beyond our controlWhen generosity becomes a reflex, it means nothing to us but everything to othersWe don’t see what grows from the seeds we sowIn order to serve others, we have to see the bigger picture14:15 Things in life happen for you, not to youWorking on how you view the world is the best thing you can do for yourselfWhat’s with the leopard print?Dressing your truthThe sages’ lesson from the animal world21:00  The ROI of generosityPour into your people, your clients, and your communitySymbiosis survives and thrivesWhen leaders don’t recognize their own resourcesWhat are The 5 Questions?27:00  Leaders need to ask themselves:  is your culture healthy?The consultant as a member of the pit crewHow do you define “leader”?Generosity should be a no-brainerPeople who guard their “secret sauce” may have little that’s actually worth guardingWe’re in business to make ourselves obsolete32:00 Is generosity a hard-sell?When people are ready, then it becomes easy to show them the solutionMake the leap from damage control to preventionYou don’t have time?  You don’t have time not to!Firemen are sexier than building inspectors36:00 The word of the day:  Effluencethe action or process of flowing out; efflux.something that flows out; emanation.Effluence is close to affluence -- when we pour into others, we serve ourselves as well
Does our proclivity to manipulation disprove free will?If human beings have free will, do animals?Is surrendering to a Higher Power an act of free will, or the abdication of free will?These are some of the questions we address in this episode of The Rabbi and the Shrink.Bullet points:Can the paradox of free will and predestination be resolved?Some biologists assert that we are merely products of our genetics and environments, which program us how to respond.We have to live an examined life in order to make ourselves aware of the forces at play on us.If our minds are lazy, why do some of  us like to think, study, and debate?If the body is lazy, why are so many people at the gym?The wisdom of Flip Wilson:  "The devil made me do it."No, he didn't.The word Satan means "adversary." We have a moral sparring partner that trains us to be stronger.Free will takes place on the battlefront.  Struggle is the evidence that free will exists.Mindfulness model: the daily struggle with temptation.Awareness and discernmentThe struggle to choose goodThe struggle to resist evilWe need trusted advisors to give us a reality check when we ask or impose and intervention when we don't.We have to be grateful for challenges and criticism to protect us from ethical fading.Three steps to right action according to The Path of the Just:In times of calm, evaluate objectively what is right and what is wrong.In times of decision, apply our conclusions to our decision-making process.After the fact, intuit whether our choice felt right.Meeting emotion with logic inevitably fails.What made the Framers different from politicians today?Our temperament, our family, and our friends largely influence our political outlooks.  How do we avoid being slaves to circumstance?You learn the most from those with whom you disagree.Constructive disagreement: conservatives and liberals need each other.The best professor I ever had.The wisdom of Sister Rita.Don't react, but respond -- which is the root of responsibility.What kind of person do you want to become?The word of the day: azimuthA bearing from where I am to where I want to getWe need to know and see our destination, or else we'll travel in circles.
#80: Ode to Joy

#80: Ode to Joy

2022-12-0824:28

How can we be happy if we don't have an accurate definition of what joy is or where it comes from?That's the question we address in this episode of The Rabbi and the Shrink.Here are the bullet points:Eight words in Hebrew translate as joy or happiness -- all have root meanings of growth or progress.Budding -- the joy of potential about to be brought into the worldBlossoming -- the joy of growth about  to reach fruitionSatisfaction -- absolute fulfillment, which succeeds joy, but is often followed by letdownIn the West, we conflate happiness and pleasure.  Pleasure is not a source of happiness, but distraction from unhappinessPleasure and pain are not opposites; they go hand in handJoy contains an element of the transcendentIs joy a function of purpose or of connection?  Or are these really the same?Find joy in correcting our mistakesHappiness is a choice we make that emerges from gratitudeIf I'm entitled, I have no gratitude and nothing to work towardAchievement without struggle can be deeply dissatisfyingHappiness comes from choosing the things that matter most and relinquishing the things that matter lessWe have to let go of pettiness if we want to attach ourselves to nobilityInvestment is not sacrifice; maturity is recognizing that we can't have everythingDon't be a monkey trapped by its own unwillingness to let goWhat's in your monkey trap?
How are fear and love two sides of the same coin?How do we describe something that is truly awesome?What are the foundations that allow love to flourish?These are some of the questions addressed when The Rabbi and the Shrink explore the interplay of love and fear.Here are the bullet points:What does it mean to invest love in the people and institutions that fill our lives.How are zeal and jealousy connected?Love comes from investment; it's not about what we get, but about what we give.The Four Loves:Philia -- familyEros -- romanticStorge -- empathyAgape - platonicMary Matalin and James Carville: how a conservative and a liberal can find loveWhy love is like a flameShalom means harmony, when all the pieces fit and work togetherBravery is not the lack of fear, it is facing fearAgreeing to disagree diminishes diversityEngaging respectfully despite profound differences makes us stronger individually and collectively
How do we escape from the prison of our mind?How do we acquire the mindset to transform failure into victory and success?What do we want our life and our legacy to be?These and other pressing questions are addressed when a Muslim ex-con, a Catholic shrink, and an Orthodox rabbi sit down together on The Rabbi and the Shrink.  Don't miss this episode with Lester Young!https://www.linkedin.com/in/lester-young-b1b6a0106/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7Y3oh7l_wqJSCPtitB9BFw1:30 How a life sentence became a life’s missionWhat do we want our life and our legacy to be?One man, one book, made all the differenceWe are all masters of our own fateAuthentic leaders inspire us to challenge ourselves4:00 Free will: the past does not have to define usWe can’t necessarily change our circumstances but we can change ourselvesDissociation started a process that ended with prayerA perpetrator can honor a victim by becoming a new personThe path to reconciliation and redemption14:00  How do we truly make amends?The most horrific failures can be transmuted into unimaginable victoriesWhen we can resolve our differences and errors we don’t need the justice system to do it for us17:00 Witnessing a victim’s pain evoked empathyVictims of pain and violence can become perpetratorsWe can always grow to recognize how to reinvent ourselves and take responsibility21:00 When you prepare yourself, providence provides the opportunityJournaling and gratitudeFive stages of incarceration:  denial, anger, victimization, asking forgiveness, self-forgivenessThe need for prison reform:  Recriminalization vs. Decriminalization25:00 Wisdom attracts adherentsChange yourself, change your environmentWe are all living in prisons of one kind or another29:00  We all need advocates and supportRehabilitation begins the day you walk into prisonAddressing the collateral damage victimsWhy aren’t our correctional facilities corrective?35:30 Word of the day:  allyshipthe status or role of a person who advocates and actively works for the inclusion of a marginalized or politicized group in all areas of society, not as a member of that group but in solidarity with its struggle and point of view and under its leadership:Genuine allyship does not come with special recognition—we do not get awards for confronting issues people have to live with every day.the relationship or status of persons, groups, or nations associating and cooperating with one another for a common cause or purpose:Joseph went from prison to king of the world in a dayNelson MandelaNever lose hope -- break out of the mental prison walls and the opportunities that will appear
What is the difference between rational and irrational fear?How often does fear sabotage our success and set us up for failure?How can unfounded fear lead to unethical decision-making?These and other questions are tackled when The Rabbi and the Shrink tackle the topic of fear.Here are the highlights:FEAR: False Expectations Appearing RealWhy are we so afraid?How much of irrational fear is rooted in ego?Don't let fear stop you from doing what's right.Courage is facing fear, not the absence of fear.There's the fear of "no," but also the fear of "yes."  Which is more debilitating?We need a "board of advisors" we turn to when we are paralyzed by fear.Don't be afraid of failure, since failure is the best teacher.Reframe fear as excitement and eagerness.If you're not nervous, you're not ready.Churchill:  Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.NASA:  Failure to learn from failure is not an option.Teddy Roosevelt: Not the critic but the man in the arena.Silence your inner critic and surround yourself with people who will support you through your successes and your failures.Risk greatness!
Why is anger like idolatry?If anger doesn't translate into behavior, is it still a problem?Can there ever be benefits to outrage?These and other highly relevant questions are addressed when The Rabbi and the Shrink investigate the challenge of anger.Here are a few highlights:The world was not created to conform with our desires.We have a responsibility to the world; the world is not responsible to us.Shouldn't we respond to irresponsible behavior that puts others in danger with anger?If we can channel anger in a positive direction it can be a force for good.Anger often is an expression of our own ego.Are we justified in taking it personally when others show no interest in setting the ethical bar where we've set it for ourselves?Sister Rita's strategy: assuming responsibility for others.Arrogance is the death of compassion.Sometimes, being our authentic selves is not in anyone's best interest.Civility is the filter through which we allow our authentic selves engage the world.We're all wonderful; we're all awful. They're both true.The lesson of the donkey, the rooster, and the lantern.
Why do so many of us not achieve our own potential?What can we do to turn failure into success?How do we bridge the gap between perception and reality?These and more topics are addressed when  concierge, high performance, psychology coach Dr. Robyn Odegaard joins The Rabbi and the Shrink.https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/https://drrobynodegaard.com/It's easy to be mediocre, because if you don't try, you can't fail.Don't repeat the mistake of Cain.Five step paradigm:1) What is your goal?2) What is your plan?3) What do I need to know or know how to do that I don't know now?4) What are your psychological barriers?5) What people, places, or habits are helping or hurting us?Changing our environment can help us change what needs to be change.Once you make the choice to change, change becomes easier and more likely.Talking about ourselves can be limiting.Giving advice is dangerous; giving good advice is deadly.Rebuke is validating when it's given with care and concern.Shame is imposed from the outside, but it's our choice whether we accept it.Ethics demands that we make ourselves competent.Have the courage to question your own expertise, competence, and objectivity."Perception is what you think; reality is what I think."Learn from the intellectual integrity of Abraham Lincoln.Listen to everyone, then make your own decisions.Don't compromise with the middle.Employees who are overworked, overwhelmed, and underutilized is a formula for disaster.The word of the day: Hegira [ hi-jahy-ruh]Flight or journey to a more agreeable locationRabbi Akiva's transition from illiterate shepherd to the leader of his generation via the coaching of his wife, Rachel.
How do you enter into a relationship for your own benefit without making it all about you?Why is ethics essential to successful networking?When does "How can we help each other?" become a form of manipulation and misrepresentation?These and other highly relevant topics are addressed when networking guru Greg Peters joins The Rabbi and the Shrink.https://www.linkedin.com/in/thereluctantnetworker/How did reluctant networking grow into the next big idea?If people want to work with people they know, like, and trust, unethical behavior will sabotage your success.How can engaging in a conversation that doesn't interest you lead to successful relationship building?The complicated business of referral fees.If something is objectively ethical, can it still be a bad idea?We have nothing more valuable than our good name.A networking event is not a place to look for sales.Look for a common point of reference.  Ask open-ended questions not about work.Being a little vulnerable makes us more accessible so others will do the same.The power of "and you?" or "What a great question! What answers have you gotten?"Respond without I, Me, or My.If you pretend to have interest, you might spark some genuine interest.Is it ever too late to follow up?The Word of the Day:  Gulosity Excessive appetite, greedinessDon't indulge in "what's-in-it-for-me?"Look for ways to be of serviceZig Ziglar: You can have everything you want in life if you help enough other people have what they want in life.
How does the story we tell ourselves determine who we become?How do we determine which values are authentic and which are misdirected?How do we find the courage to reject fear-based decision-making?These and other fascinating topics are addressed when executive coach and anxiogenics expert Mary Kutheis joins The Rabbi and the Shrink.https://www.linkedin.com/in/marykutheis/http://www.mckcoaching.com/What choice can I make or action can I take in this moment to create the greatest possible value?Can we change neuropathways to steer ourselves on a more successful course?Why do we choose to repeat the same mistakes over and over again?The sooner we recognize and correct unhealthy thinking patterns the more quickly we can reduce anxiety and discover solutions.Knowing our fears and our triggers empowers us to change our behavior.What appears to be failure is often success.If we can't lead ourselves, how can we successfully lead other people?Word of the Day: macadamizeTo pave by laying and compacting successive layers of broken stone, often with asphalt or hot tar. Broken pieces can be repurposed to build and progress; success emerges out of failure."What's the best mistake that happened today?"How snowplow parents do their children a disservice by denying them the benefit of learning from failure.The difference between flipflopping and principled change of outlook.Ponder fearlessly and don't be afraid of silence.
How do you create a context that promotes everyone's success?How do you communicate information for maximum impact?What are your unconscious operating systems and are they serving you?How do you find and foster successful partnerships?What should your target be to increase your chances for success?Join us as we discuss these and other fascinating questions with Bob Burg, NYT bestselling author and Hall of Fame speaker on The Rabbi and the Shrink.https://burg.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobburg/https://twitter.com/BobBurghttps://thegogiver.com/1:00 How the rabbi met BobExtraordinary accomplishments while keeping the common touch3:30  What is a go-giverFocus on others is the best formula for businessInternally motivated but outwardly focusedEthics: being selfless is selfishBusiness is about how we make others feelBenevolent context for everyone’s success8:00 Collaboration is people with different skill sets complementing each otherStories carry the message so they become implanted in usParables and allegories14:00 Being a giver is not being a doormatHow Bob got his start18:00 Knute Rockne -- invest in people19:30 How do we get people to connect with our message?Unconscious operating systems make us think others think like usValue is in the eye of the beholderSuccess begins by asking questions, then listening with every part of your body24:00 Dialogues of the deafParaphrasing establishes understanding and trust25:30  Compromise is not the answerFirst look for the win-win27:00 Go-Giver success alliance29:00 Finding and fostering successful partnerships35:00 Word of the day: meliorism -- the belief that the world can be made better through effortDon’t make making money your target; aim to serve others, and success will follow.
Do you suffer from infobesity?How do you make billions in 60 seconds?How do you avoid becoming a bore, a snore, and a chore?These and other urgent topics are addressed when Tongue-fu black belt Sam Horn joins the Rabbi and the Shrink.https://samhorn.com/https://www.tonguefu.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/samhorn/1:30  We want to do things worth doingWe succeed through communityAccess to the successful is a shortcut to success4:30  Ink it when you think itIf we don’t write down ideas when they enter our minds, we will lose themMake your life your labYou will make a difference in others’ lives7:00 Ethics requires us to market the truth to benefit othersBe intriguing to get people on the hookInfobesitiy vs. intrigue: a practical techniqueAlliteration makes ideas memorableRhyme and rhythmCrafting a message changes lives14:00 tonality and musicalityRead out loud to self editShift from undesirable to desirableHow can the study of ethics make us less ethical?The qualities of E.T.H.I.C.S.20:00 Our expertise is perceived by the clarity of our thoughtsHow to not be a bore, snore, or choreHow to make billions in sixty secondsThe goal is to raise eyebrows Ask three “did you know” questions“Imagine this…”You don’t have to imagine30:00 Words matter; every one of themDon’t yell at a barking dogWhat words can we use to get the desired behavior?Ask for what we wantReal life examples have power35:00 Why was the woman crying on the beach?Arrogance vs. offeringsWe have a responsibility to share the wisdom of our experience39:00 How Tom got to Mission ControlRecognizing our abilities and accomplishments does not make us un-humbleWhat’s the greatest gift you can give someone else?45:00 The word of the day: inconcinnitylack of proportion and congruity; inelegance.The way we phrase and frame our message determines how it is receivedShowing order emerging from chaos is the way we broaden thinking46:30 Too many people believe that happiness is selfishFinding our gifts is the purpose of life; giving away our gifts is the meaning of lifeDon’t wait until there’s no time left to do what you want to do
What makes a successful relationship?Is marriage really the happily ever after part or do they still require work?What is reasonable to expect versus what do you need to accept? Find the answers to these questions and more as we talk to Claire Vande Polder, the author of Making Marriage Happy:  Hard-Won Wisdom from Real CouplesGrab your copy here:Making Marriage Happy:  Hard-Won Wisdom from Real CouplesConnect with Claire onLinkedinInstagram2:45What I came up with is a book that is basically, what happy couples do as told in their own words.  It's the only book, I know of where all the expert advice comes from people who are only experts in their own relationship and what they do that makes them happy.7:00 When I was a younger person I looked at people who had been married for a while and I thought, okay they're just they're like on autopilot right?29:00it took a lot of time before they understood that's not who my husband is, this thing that I really wish my wife was doing? That's really not who she is so, can I just lay off of that and let her be more who she is, and then take more of a look at what am I doing? How could I change myself?  Could I change the way that I think about something because I have more control over that and just learn to love?
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