DiscoverThe Anxious To Secure PODCAST104: Put yourself FIRST this Christmas ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ€ how DE-CENTERING your partner can actually bring you closer
104: Put yourself FIRST this Christmas ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ€ how DE-CENTERING your partner can actually bring you closer

104: Put yourself FIRST this Christmas ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ€ how DE-CENTERING your partner can actually bring you closer

Update: 2025-12-02
Share

Description

๐Ÿ’› Free Stuff

Quick 3-min Attachment Quiz

(Know your type so you do the right work)


โžž Take Quiz: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz


Free Attachment Library

(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)


โžž https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop


ย 
๐Ÿ’Ž Courses

ON SALE: โœจ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Textsย 

(because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,


NOT how they communicate with you)


โžž Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety


ย 


ON SALE: โœจ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship inย  only 4 Steps


(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)


โžž Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse


ย 
๐Ÿ’ฌ Work 1:1 with Me

Personal Coaching

(Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)


โžž All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy


WhatsApp Coaching

(Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)


โžž Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk


ย 


Feeling anxious, overlooked, or way too focused on your partner this Christmas? ๐ŸŽ„

This episode shows you why putting yourself FIRST is the thing that actually brings your partner closerโ€ฆ not further away.


If youโ€™ve been carrying the whole holiday on your shouldersโ€ฆ

If youโ€™re replaying his textsโ€ฆ

If youโ€™re trying to โ€œmake Christmas perfectโ€ so he doesnโ€™t pull awayโ€ฆ

this is the episode youโ€™ve been needing.ย 


Youโ€™ll hear the truth about what happens when you stop centering himโ€ฆ

and start centering YOU.


ย 


Youโ€™ll learn:

๐ŸŽ why your nervous system is so triggered during the holidays

โ˜•๏ธ why your anxious brain wants him to fix everything

๐ŸŽ„ how de-centering him stops the chasing cycle

๐Ÿ•ฏ how boundaries actually create connection

๐Ÿงฃ how micro-traditions make you feel grounded again

๐Ÿ’› why focusing on your own joy makes you more magnetic, not โ€œselfishโ€


ย 


This is for you if youโ€™re tired of:

โœจ waiting for him to make plans

โœจ walking on eggshells around his mood

โœจ feeling like Christmas depends on how much he shows up

โœจ shrinking yourself so you donโ€™t โ€œruin the vibeโ€


Inside this episode, youโ€™ll get the deeper WHY behind all of it...

the attachment science, the anxious-avoidant patterns, the nervous-system piece

all explained in simple, calm, friend-to-friend language. โœจ๐Ÿงฃ


Youโ€™ll hear the exact steps to:

โœจ regulate YOUR body first

โœจ create micro-joy without waiting for him

โœจ set boundaries without guilt

โœจ build traditions that center you

โœจ stop chasing, over-functioning, and people-pleasing


ย 


And yesโ€ฆ we talk about the magic part:

how de-centering him is what actually makes him come closer.

Not because youโ€™re playing a gameโ€ฆ

but because youโ€™re finally full, calm, grounded, and in your own power. โœจ๐ŸŽ„


If you want a lighter Christmasโ€ฆ

a calmer bodyโ€ฆ

a deeper connection without pressureโ€ฆ

and a relationship that feels less like survival modeโ€ฆ

this episode is your reset.


Let it play while you wrap gifts, take a walk in the cold air โ„๏ธ,


light a candle, drink your warm coffee โ˜•๏ธ

and feel the pressure melt off your body little by little.


And if this hits home and you want help healing your anxious attachmentโ€ฆ

my 1:1 coaching and entry-level offers are open.

You donโ€™t have to spend another Christmas feeling like youโ€™re โ€œnot enough.โ€ย 


ย 


CHAPTERS:


00:00 Putting Yourself First This Christmas

01:06 1. You can create magic without him

04:15 2. Boundaries are love

12:14 3. Regulate your nervous system first

13:36 4. Micro-traditions that center YOU

17:52 5. Decentering him actually brings you closer

19:19 Closing pep note


ย 


ย 


DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.


This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.


This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.


ย 


Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.


ย 

Commentsย 
In Channel
loading
00:00
00:00
x

0.5x

0.8x

1.0x

1.25x

1.5x

2.0x

3.0x

Sleep Timer

Off

End of Episode

5 Minutes

10 Minutes

15 Minutes

30 Minutes

45 Minutes

60 Minutes

120 Minutes

104: Put yourself FIRST this Christmas ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ€ how DE-CENTERING your partner can actually bring you closer

104: Put yourself FIRST this Christmas ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ€ how DE-CENTERING your partner can actually bring you closer

Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach