DiscoverRelationship Growth: Tools for Communication, Connection, and Long-Term Love142: Why Can’t I Let Love In? How to Stop Pushing People Away When You Want Them Close
142: Why Can’t I Let Love In? How to Stop Pushing People Away When You Want Them Close

142: Why Can’t I Let Love In? How to Stop Pushing People Away When You Want Them Close

Update: 2025-01-14
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In this episode of Relearn Relationships, we explore the painful and confusing experience of wanting to be close to someone but finding yourself unintentionally pushing them away. This dynamic often stems from unhealed emotional wounds and protective patterns. Learn why grounded and healthy relationships can feel confusing and how to address the barriers preventing deep connection.

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Key Takeaways:

Understand the Push-Pull Dynamic:

A desire to connect paired with self-protective behavior often creates emotional distance. Hypervigilance and fear of rejection contribute to overthinking and relationship sabotage.

Foundation of Emotional Safety:

It is crucial to differentiate between a good-willed partner and one who contributes to insecurity. A relationship built on mutual care and respect is the foundation for growth.

Childhood Trauma: Adverse experiences and disordered attachment in early years shape how we approach relationships.

Unresolved Baggage: Past relationship wounds influence present emotions and behaviors.

Emotional Suppression or Projection: Internalized feelings and unmet needs create inner turmoil.

Healthy Relationships Feel Different:

Stability may feel uncomfortable, even boring if you're wired for instability. Recognizing this as a



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142: Why Can’t I Let Love In? How to Stop Pushing People Away When You Want Them Close

142: Why Can’t I Let Love In? How to Stop Pushing People Away When You Want Them Close

Lilly Rachels