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The Wellness Cafe
146. positive psychology, improving sleep & feel good rituals with Nicola Elliot founder of Neom Wellbeing

146. positive psychology, improving sleep & feel good rituals with Nicola Elliot founder of Neom Wellbeing
Update: 2024-03-25
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Today Trin is joined by founder, author and fellow wellness lover Nicola Elliot to discuss all things Wellness. Nicola shares how she started Neom Wellbeing , positive psychology and taking back control over your habits and lifestyle.
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NEOM Organics
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https://thewellnesscafe.shop
NEOM Organics
watch the video version HERE
JOIN OUR HGW GROUP CHAT
SUBMIT TO THE WELLNESS CAFE:
- write in for the HGW hangout January community EP
- ASK TRIN!! start of 2023 advice session form
FOLLOW TRIN:
IG @trinitytondeleir
TikTok @trinitytondeleir
Youtube: trinity tondeleir
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Transcript
00:00:00
(upbeat music)
00:00:02
Hello, hello.
00:00:05
Happy Monday, my beautiful besties.
00:00:07
Welcome back to the Wellness Cafe podcast,
00:00:10
Your Go To, Hocker Walk Podcast.
00:00:13
I'm your host, Trin Tondelier.
00:00:15
Okay, let's start this week off strong together.
00:00:20
You are loved, you are strong,
00:00:21
you are capable of making anything happen
00:00:24
in living your dream life.
00:00:26
You are capable of being your happiest healthiest self.
00:00:29
If you miss a workout this week,
00:00:31
it is not the end of the world,
00:00:33
your best is always enough,
00:00:34
and TWC is always cheering you on.
00:00:38
Before we get into this episode in case
00:00:41
you haven't heard the news,
00:00:43
merch is still available.
00:00:46
Don't you worry, I got you because I know how podcasts go.
00:00:49
I can see the numbers, okay, there's always
00:00:52
a couple of you who listened to the episodes
00:00:54
a couple of weeks behind,
00:00:55
and I wanted to make sure that I had enough stock for everyone.
00:01:00
So if you're just tuning in for the first time
00:01:03
in a few weeks, the Wellness Cafe is first team hoodies here.
00:01:07
It is a crew neck with cherries on the back.
00:01:09
It is very wellness cafe core.
00:01:12
You can grab it at the wellnesscafe.shop
00:01:14
or the link will be in the show notes.
00:01:17
I'm off to LA on Wednesday to go speak
00:01:19
on another podcast panel.
00:01:21
I am so excited.
00:01:23
I can't thank you all enough for the support.
00:01:24
I just, I wouldn't have any of these opportunities
00:01:28
without you tuning into the Wellness Cafe.
00:01:30
And I can't thank you enough.
00:01:32
I'll be bringing you along on my socials.
00:01:34
And then I'll fill you in next week
00:01:36
and tell you how it goes.
00:01:38
Okay, so right before us, I got this new magnesium bed spray.
00:01:43
And you know that I love my bed spray.
00:01:47
And my night routine.
00:01:49
I take my night routine very seriously around here.
00:01:52
Sleep is so important to your overall wellness.
00:01:55
And I genuinely can't tuck myself into bed
00:01:58
without spraying it first.
00:02:00
Anyway, I tried this new magnesium bed spray
00:02:03
and I fell in love with it.
00:02:05
And then I saw the same brand
00:02:07
had a magnesium bed time candle.
00:02:10
Magnesium bath soak, magnesium body lotion.
00:02:13
The list went on and on.
00:02:16
So I ended up buying the entire line.
00:02:18
And then I found out the brand Neomwellbeing
00:02:21
is actually female founded.
00:02:23
And I invited the founder, Nicola Elliott,
00:02:27
on the Wellness Cafe today.
00:02:29
So I am so excited for you to sit in on this conversation.
00:02:34
We chat all things wellness, mental health,
00:02:37
sleep routines, positive psychology, gratitude.
00:02:41
It was just such a fantastic conversation.
00:02:45
You know when you talk to someone
00:02:46
who just gets you on a vibe basis.
00:02:50
Like some people roll their eyes
00:02:52
if you tell them that you journal every morning.
00:02:54
And it is just, I'm sure you know this.
00:02:56
It's so refreshing to talk to someone
00:03:00
who actually gets it.
00:03:02
And it is just as passionate about wellness as you are.
00:03:06
Which is also why we have a group chat
00:03:08
for every member of TWC
00:03:10
to have like-minded individuals to connect with.
00:03:13
The link to join our group chat is in the show notes.
00:03:16
But we are welcoming Nicola Elliott,
00:03:19
the founder of Neomwellbeing to the Wellness Cafe today.
00:03:24
I love having inspiring women on the show too.
00:03:28
Just inspire you and remind you
00:03:29
that you can do anything you put your mind to.
00:03:32
I think this is a great way for you
00:03:34
to start your week with some girl power.
00:03:37
I'll give you a little backstory.
00:03:38
So after spending 10 Hucktick years
00:03:41
working 60 hour weeks as a journalist
00:03:44
for magazines like Marie Claire,
00:03:46
Instyle and Glamour, Nicola really started to, you know,
00:03:51
feel the effects of a fast-paced life,
00:03:54
poor sleep, increased stress and low energy and mood.
00:03:58
Which I'm sure we've all felt before.
00:04:01
So in 2005, she decided to launch Neom
00:04:04
after experimenting with essential oil blends
00:04:07
and discovering the power that they hold to tackle stress
00:04:12
and just the demands of modern day life.
00:04:15
She also just published a book
00:04:16
at the Four Ways of Wellbeing.
00:04:18
Nicola is so inspiring and I'm just really excited
00:04:22
for you to hear this conversation.
00:04:24
Hello Nicola, welcome to the Wellness Cafe.
00:04:26
- Hello.
00:04:27
- Thank you for having me.
00:04:28
- Of course, I'm so excited.
00:04:30
I'm such a huge fan of your brand.
00:04:31
So I'm really excited to get into it today.
00:04:33
- Bless you.
00:04:34
- For those of you who don't know Nicola,
00:04:36
do you want to maybe just give a little intro
00:04:38
about yourself and what got you into the wellness space
00:04:41
and what basically just brought you here today?
00:04:43
- Sure, so my name's Nicola, Elliot,
00:04:46
and I am the founder of Neomorganics.
00:04:48
We only launched in the States a couple of years ago
00:04:51
and just under a couple of years ago now,
00:04:53
but we are the biggest wellbeing brand
00:04:55
or the biggest wellbeing platform in the UK.
00:04:57
So we've been around for about 19 years
00:04:59
before wellbeing was even a word or a thing in the UK.
00:05:02
And we've now got eight standalone stores
00:05:05
and we're in all the kind of big stores
00:05:06
that you may or may not have heard of.
00:05:08
And we really attribute wellness to helping you sleep
00:05:13
your stress, boosting your energy and lifting your mood.
00:05:17
I think it's a big topic,
00:05:19
but the way that we kind of really drill down
00:05:21
on all of our products, which are all natural,
00:05:24
and all our almost therapeutic base,
00:05:25
but a pack full of loads of other things like vitamins
00:05:28
and magnesium and minerals, et cetera.
00:05:31
They're all developed, those four categories.
00:05:34
And they all smell amazing.
00:05:37
And we kind of have this real lovely community.
00:05:40
We've got a big social presence
00:05:42
and we've got this big community online
00:05:44
and also offline in our stores
00:05:46
where people talk to us about wellbeing.
00:05:49
When they may be not the most evangelist,
00:05:52
they may be aren't, you know,
00:05:53
we're not necessarily for that woman
00:05:55
who knows everything about wellbeing.
00:05:57
But we're for, we really supply the flag
00:06:01
for every woman starting out on that wellbeing journey
00:06:04
or kind of kickstarting it
00:06:06
or adding to it.
00:06:08
So I think our tone of voice
00:06:10
and we famously say we're about some
00:06:12
a no BS approach to wellbeing
00:06:15
is kind of another thing that's made us sort of,
00:06:19
well, super popular and say.
00:06:21
- I really like that approach
00:06:22
and it really aligns with the Onus Cafe
00:06:24
because I always say if you have no knowledge,
00:06:27
if you have a ton of knowledge, wellness is available to you.
00:06:30
So I love that your products are really for everyone
00:06:33
because sometimes wellness can be,
00:06:35
you know, there's so much information
00:06:37
and it's like, where do I even start?
00:06:38
But I really like that. - Totally.
00:06:40
- Neon just simplifies it.
00:06:42
- Yeah, so I think what we've found,
00:06:44
we're constantly talking to, you know,
00:06:46
the people on our database and our customers
00:06:49
and so finding out where they are with wellness.
00:06:51
And I think we find statistically
00:06:54
that everyone wants to get involved in wellness in some way.
00:06:57
They understand that, you know,
00:06:59
it's gonna make them feel better
00:07:00
and they probably need help with one or two
00:07:03
or even three or four of those categories.
00:07:05
But they don't know where to start.
00:07:08
They feel overwhelmed by it.
00:07:09
And actually, when it comes down to it,
00:07:11
they don't really have the belief
00:07:14
because they don't have the knowledge
00:07:15
that they have material opportunity
00:07:17
to change how they feel in those spaces.
00:07:20
So it kind of all falls off a bit of a cliff
00:07:23
after the, you know, they understand the word
00:07:25
and they think, yeah, I better get my head around
00:07:27
feeling a bit better.
00:07:28
It then is kind of, oh, do I subscribe to Peloton
00:07:32
or get myself some supplements?
00:07:34
And I think what we try and do is give them a framework of, okay,
00:07:38
this is what we define wellbeing.
00:07:40
And by the way, like other people have different ways
00:07:43
of defining it and that's all cool as well.
00:07:45
But this is our sort of, this is our benchmark.
00:07:49
So people know, okay, I get it.
00:07:50
And I feel a bit less intimidated
00:07:52
by this being this huge big topic.
00:07:55
But then simultaneously, we really try and say,
00:07:59
you need to create a toolkit that works for you.
00:08:01
And there's loads of different things
00:08:03
that we're going to tell you about.
00:08:05
And you can pick and choose what works for your life
00:08:08
because, you know, where you are in your life,
00:08:11
the issues that you have, what you're doing,
00:08:15
where you are in the seasons, in the months,
00:08:18
all of that kind of stuff is going to ladder up
00:08:21
to what's going to work best for you.
00:08:22
And also, probably most importantly,
00:08:25
if you don't like the sound of some of those things,
00:08:27
then just forget them and go to something else
00:08:29
because you've got to create a toolkit
00:08:31
that works for you practically,
00:08:34
but also that you want to get involved in.
00:08:36
So, you know, for example, I hate running.
00:08:39
So, you know, that might be great for the next person,
00:08:42
but it's not for me.
00:08:43
I quite like eating healthy foods,
00:08:47
but the next person might find the idea of,
00:08:49
I don't know, a green smoothie or a matcha,
00:08:51
just revolting.
00:08:52
That's cool, it's fine.
00:08:54
It shouldn't be something that's overly prescriptive
00:08:57
because I think when it is and then people start going,
00:08:59
"Oh, that doesn't work for me or I don't like it,"
00:09:02
then they don't stick to it.
00:09:03
So, I think whilst we create this kind of quite tight framework
00:09:07
which allows people to understand where to start,
00:09:10
we also try and keep it really, really fluid.
00:09:14
So, you can kind of develop and evolve that for you personally
00:09:18
as time goes on.
00:09:19
I absolutely love that so much and it sounds like you,
00:09:22
honestly, took those words right from my voice
00:09:24
because that's something I say a lot before.
00:09:27
I really developed my routine for me, I thought,
00:09:29
I had to like running to get into the wellness space
00:09:32
or I had to like specific things
00:09:34
that I saw people promoting when really,
00:09:36
I think it is just about finding what you like
00:09:38
and what works for you and it doesn't have to look
00:09:41
a certain way.
00:09:42
- So, see, and look, we live in this space
00:09:44
where everyone wants the new thing and I get that,
00:09:47
but I don't think wellness should be a trend-led thing at all.
00:09:50
In fact, I'm really empty that because, you know,
00:09:54
I get sent things to all the time.
00:09:55
I'm like, it's quite nice, it's quite fun and it's quite cute,
00:09:58
but, you know, a big cup or a different type of supplement
00:10:03
or an exercise band is not going to change my life,
00:10:07
whereas some data on positive psychology,
00:10:10
some new findings have come out about circadian rhythms,
00:10:14
you know, people understanding how deficient we all are
00:10:18
in magnesium, that there's some amazing, you know,
00:10:21
new knowledge that we should all have about amigas
00:10:24
and those things, they're like real game changes.
00:10:29
So, I'm really funny about that kind of no BS tone of voice
00:10:32
and look, if you love that sort of stuff and that's fun for you,
00:10:36
a bit like going shopping or going out for lunch, you do you.
00:10:39
But I think, unfortunately, we've become bundled together
00:10:43
in this one category and it's a bit like saying,
00:10:45
you know, eating out is just about going to five-star restaurants,
00:10:48
no, eating out is about getting a pancake,
00:10:50
getting a burger, having a five-star experience,
00:10:53
getting a salad, having a snack, all these things.
00:10:55
And I think it would be nice if the world
00:10:57
this industry could evolve a bit.
00:10:59
So, we're not sort of bundled together.
00:11:01
And then I think that sometimes is why we can get a bit
00:11:04
of a bad rap or turn people off.
00:11:07
So, my section is very much, you know, that no BS,
00:11:10
where, you know, I lovely if you've got all the time
00:11:14
in the world to drink green smoothies on a beach at 7 in the morning
00:11:18
or, you know, go for a very expensive treatment,
00:11:21
that's brilliant, but it's not really the core of what we are
00:11:25
about neon, which is those small steps
00:11:28
that can ladder up to making a big difference.
00:11:31
Yes, I couldn't agree more.
00:11:32
That is so important.
00:11:34
I would love to go back for a second and talk about how you
00:11:37
made the transition from your really long work weeks
00:11:41
to finding wellness and how you were able to do that,
00:11:43
because I know a lot of my listeners are stuck in that side
00:11:48
right now where they're working a lot in that like rap race
00:11:51
and they want to get out of it and like slow down and find wellness.
00:11:54
So, I'd love to hear kind of how you knew it was time to transition
00:11:58
and how you were able to make those steps.
00:12:00
Well, I started near I'm 19 years ago.
00:12:03
And wellness industry was not a thing.
00:12:05
Wellness wasn't a word, like it just wasn't.
00:12:08
There was no, I mean, I live in England, right?
00:12:11
So, there was no ones.
00:12:13
I mean, there was like a dusty health food shop on the top
00:12:15
of the road, which sold, you know, nuts and bags of two for one
00:12:19
and an old banana and a basket outside.
00:12:21
I mean, that's how dire it was just to give you a,
00:12:24
'cause I think the picture is kind of quite important.
00:12:27
Nobody was talking about anything.
00:12:29
I mean, people barely had gym memberships.
00:12:31
I mean, you're too young to remember this.
00:12:32
But honestly, that was seriously the world has changed so much.
00:12:38
And I started having really, really bad anxiety
00:12:41
and awful panic attacks.
00:12:42
And that certainly wasn't being spoken about.
00:12:44
And that certainly wasn't a word.
00:12:46
You know, you're anxious before you went on,
00:12:48
I don't know, stage before you did a play or something.
00:12:50
It certainly wasn't something that people were talking about
00:12:53
that was affecting people's lives.
00:12:56
So, you know, my mum was like, "Oh, you just had a funny turn."
00:12:58
That's what it was.
00:13:00
And actually, what's interesting when I look back is not only
00:13:04
was that not spoken about and recognised in that way.
00:13:07
So, it was quite scary.
00:13:08
But also, it was not something that,
00:13:13
that anyone was, people weren't having
00:13:16
and talking about between themselves.
00:13:18
So, it really felt like something would gone wrong with me.
00:13:23
And I think also, nothing bad had happened.
00:13:25
There was no traumatic event or something that I could think,
00:13:28
"Oh, I'm having these, again, inverted commas funny turns
00:13:31
because I didn't know they were panic attacks."
00:13:34
Because, you know, I've gone through a really hideous time
00:13:37
or something.
00:13:38
It was just because I was shoving too much in.
00:13:41
And I still think that's something that we don't recognise.
00:13:43
I think generally we think about anxiety when, you know,
00:13:48
something specific has happened.
00:13:50
And sometimes, I think, just the pace of life is too much.
00:13:56
And we, you know, we don't, we see downtime as a luxury,
00:14:00
not as a necessity.
00:14:02
We don't have that knowledge.
00:14:04
As I said to you, you know, 90% of my customers at last count,
00:14:09
just believed that they were either born good or bad sleepers.
00:14:11
They didn't believe, they didn't understand
00:14:14
that there was material things that they could do to change that.
00:14:17
So I think, you know, there just wasn't that knowledge.
00:14:20
And I, I started having these awful panic attacks.
00:14:22
And I remember my mum say, "Listen, you've got to look after yourself.
00:14:25
You live off pasta pesto.
00:14:27
You never exercise.
00:14:29
You don't see the light of day.
00:14:31
You're working ridiculous hours.
00:14:34
It's as simple as you have to look after yourself."
00:14:37
And so there was no light bulb moment for me,
00:14:38
but there was definitely a sort of period where,
00:14:41
I mean, I re-trained as a nutritionist,
00:14:43
became very interested in food being a part of an important part of healing.
00:14:48
And on that journey, I went into the said,
00:14:52
the sort of, you know, health food shop on the top of the road
00:14:54
that I told you was, you know, I had nothing of interest in.
00:14:57
Bar, some little essential oils at the back of the store.
00:15:00
And I saw, "Hey, this is kind of interesting.
00:15:02
I like the idea of maybe creating some little potions for myself."
00:15:06
And so I bought a few of them, and I brought them back,
00:15:09
and I started kind of working on little tinctures for myself.
00:15:13
And then friends sort of started asking,
00:15:14
and I remember thinking, "My gosh, everyone who I know
00:15:18
is either suffering from stress like me
00:15:21
and/or the ramifications of that potentially being in a different area.
00:15:25
Might not be panic attacks.
00:15:26
It might be something else."
00:15:27
Or poor sleep.
00:15:29
Or mood imbalance.
00:15:31
Or lack of energy.
00:15:32
And I suppose if there ever was a moment where I really wanted to create
00:15:37
a well-being brand, and I sort of saw the kernels of what Neon would be,
00:15:41
it was at that point where I thought,
00:15:43
that is what we need to be looking at, you know,
00:15:48
not just externally, but internally.
00:15:50
They are the pillars that we all need to sort of keep in check.
00:15:54
And then I created little blends under those sort of pillars.
00:15:58
And, you know, I remember creating trays of them for, you know,
00:16:03
my then boyfriend taking the energy boosting ones off,
00:16:06
you know, the boys who played football, and, you know,
00:16:09
my sister and her friends who are having trouble sleeping,
00:16:12
and "Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna," and so the idea to create Neon
00:16:16
was always meant to be the beauty brand that it is now,
00:16:19
that, you know, a big kind of well-being brand that worked on all of those
00:16:23
different areas with different products.
00:16:25
But I couldn't afford it.
00:16:28
All I could afford is to launch one product.
00:16:30
And so we launched with candles, actually,
00:16:32
because we found a really disturbing fact that the vast majority of candles
00:16:38
in the UK and the USA were made of paraffin wax,
00:16:41
which are obviously a crude oil derivative,
00:16:43
and set it with some plastic fragrances.
00:16:45
And so what I wanted to do was to create these kind of real treatments
00:16:49
in a jar, these candles that would be totally clean, you know,
00:16:52
made with just natural waxes, a whole load of essential oil,
00:16:56
just essential oil in a very complex blend,
00:16:59
but that as you lit them and they filled a room with fragrance,
00:17:02
they would work as treatments.
00:17:04
So it wasn't one moment, I suppose, it was my anxiety,
00:17:10
my then sort of spotting what friends had around me, you know,
00:17:15
a different age, a different stages of their lives, et cetera,
00:17:17
all seemed to sort of be that commonality,
00:17:21
and that's where it started.
00:17:23
That's so funny, everything we say is just so aligned and so similar.
00:17:27
I have a very similar story from just suffering with anxiety,
00:17:31
and then one of the first oneness routines I remember finding
00:17:35
is essential oils.
00:17:36
Something about just putting them in your space,
00:17:38
it just, it really can affect your mood.
00:17:41
Like totally, when we speak to our customers,
00:17:44
the thing that people seem to want more than anything else,
00:17:48
before you even go a layer down into sort of sleep,
00:17:50
and de-stress, et cetera, is material control over their own lives.
00:17:55
I think people feel essentially a bit out of control,
00:17:58
whether it's out of control because, and therefore, they're stressed
00:18:01
because of it, or out of control, their mood, or whatever.
00:18:04
And I think things that you can do,
00:18:07
learning that there are little things that you can do,
00:18:09
whether it's kind of the bath that you prepare for yourself of an evening,
00:18:13
or whether it's learning that you need to get outside in the fresh air
00:18:17
for a couple of minutes every day, learning those things,
00:18:22
gives you control back.
00:18:24
And so much of this data has only seen the light of day in the last five years.
00:18:28
You know, I think it's about 80% of all the information that we have about
00:18:32
mood and positive psychology has only been around for the last five years
00:18:36
because it hasn't been the interest of the money put into that research
00:18:39
and those universities haven't, you know,
00:18:42
haven't let that data out into the wider domain.
00:18:44
So I think that's what we find is it's all about that control.
00:18:48
And so I'm very, very passionate about telling people,
00:18:51
look, you do have control.
00:18:53
There are things you want innately born unhappy or stressed out,
00:18:58
or a poor sleeper, or whatever.
00:19:00
There are things you can do.
00:19:01
And look, you might have to tinker around with a toolkit that works for you for a while.
00:19:05
Yes, it might take you a while to get there.
00:19:08
And by the way, it might change a bit, but there are things.
00:19:11
And you aren't just what you are at the end.
00:19:14
And I think, well, minute you know that and essential laws to your point.
00:19:17
I think, you know, what's they've been amazing for me and so many capacity,
00:19:20
the idea that you can create something when you get home,
00:19:24
like your own lab in your own little bathroom that works for you is actually really empowering.
00:19:31
And, and, and doing something lovely for yourself at the same time, right?
00:19:35
I couldn't agree more.
00:19:38
It sounds so simple.
00:19:39
And I think a lot of people almost refuse to accept how simple it is
00:19:44
because they think it needs to be over complicated and there's more to it.
00:19:47
But there really is something last night, even I was just doing the magnesium body oil candle before bed.
00:19:54
And by the way, I love it.
00:19:56
I own it all the time at night.
00:19:58
And even just like lighting that candle and then I use the bed spray every single night,
00:20:03
also obsessed with that.
00:20:04
I'm really into my night routine.
00:20:06
But doing that, it just makes such a big difference in my day.
00:20:10
And it's funny how it can be so easy as lighting a candle before bed
00:20:14
and just having that time for you to unwind.
00:20:16
It affects my mental health way more than I thought it would.
00:20:19
Do you know that one of the lovely things that I get,
00:20:21
we sell one of those pilgrims that you like at one a minute.
00:20:24
And one of the lovely things is when people say to me,
00:20:27
"My kids use it."
00:20:29
Or, actually, the other day I had somebody saying,
00:20:32
"You know, my autistic son now only goes to sleep with it."
00:20:35
Or, you know, children have gone away on a campaign thing.
00:20:38
How powerful that for the next generation we can tell them that there are things.
00:20:43
And of course, I believe that is a great tool in the kit.
00:20:47
But whatever you think that tool is,
00:20:49
that you can teach your children there are things that they can do
00:20:53
that can change how they feel, they can take back that control.
00:20:59
And I think the routine is talking of children is kind of crazy
00:21:04
that we don't do that when we're adults.
00:21:06
We did it like religiously as children, didn't we?
00:21:09
You know, you were like, "Whatever, I can't even remember my children are older now."
00:21:13
But you're in the bath at the 7th and then you're reading the book
00:21:17
and the glass of milk at 20 past 7th and then they're in bed with the light off at half 7th.
00:21:23
And that routine was something that as a parent,
00:21:27
you perfected and you perfected and you perfected and then they knew it.
00:21:31
You knew it and it was ingrained and it became slicker,
00:21:34
apart from the days when it didn't.
00:21:35
But that's another story.
00:21:37
And to think then what we don't do that when we become older is like, "What a shame."
00:21:42
We knew it worked.
00:21:44
Do you have any tips for the audience to get back into those little routines?
00:21:50
Maybe if they've lost it with age and like time and getting older
00:21:53
and just like the busyness of the work week?
00:21:55
Do you have any recommendations on how they can find that time for them again?
00:21:59
Well, you have to see it as a priority and you have to see it as something that you enjoy.
00:22:03
And I think that's the first thing you've got to switch it.
00:22:06
If it feels like, "Oh, I've got to do this thing because I'm not going to sleep with it well without it."
00:22:11
You won't stick to it long term.
00:22:12
It shouldn't be anything other than something you look forward to.
00:22:16
So, you know, I'll tell you my routine, which works for me.
00:22:20
But again, if that doesn't sound right for you,
00:22:23
then, you know, you must tweak it.
00:22:25
Because as I say, it's more important in a way that you like it and you stick to it
00:22:28
than it's perfect in inverted commas.
00:22:31
So, I like to make sure that I don't eat for three hours before I go to bed or drink alcohol.
00:22:41
And I've started, I mean, in Europe, obviously, we eat a lot later.
00:22:45
It's not so much a problem when I came over to state.
00:22:48
So, in the last week, brilliant that everyone's eating their supper at six o'clock.
00:22:54
So, that is fantastic.
00:22:56
But, you know, making sure that there's that leeway.
00:22:58
Because the latest data is that, you know, that's going to hit your blood sugar levels
00:23:03
and rise them as the food's trying to digest.
00:23:06
So, inevitably, at the point of which you're going to sleep,
00:23:09
if you've only eaten an hour or so before,
00:23:12
you're going to have a spike in blood sugar and insulin and that's going to affect your sleep.
00:23:16
So, first of all, make sure that, you know, all eating and drinking is done in that period.
00:23:22
And by the way, look, if you don't do this, it's fine, but at least know why.
00:23:25
At least know, I didn't have the best night's sleep because I was at a party.
00:23:29
That's fine. You're not going to not go to the party.
00:23:31
Just understand the difference between the two things.
00:23:34
So, in an ideal world, obviously, making sure that that eating is done,
00:23:38
then I make sure that I have a bath.
00:23:40
And I know you guys aren't so big on baths,
00:23:42
but actually sitting in a bath for the ideal time,
00:23:45
statistically, is between 10 and 15 minutes in a nice warm bath.
00:23:49
Because that is enough time for the essential oils to get into your blood,
00:23:53
if you're putting essential oils in the bath.
00:23:55
And for your body to regulate its temperature before you'll go to bed.
00:24:00
So, always make sure that I have a bath and I stay in there between 10 to 15 minutes.
00:24:05
I like to lace that with magnesium.
00:24:08
I also take a couple of magnesium glycates, glycate supplements, a couple of hours before I go to bed.
00:24:13
The vast majority of us are deficient in magnesium.
00:24:16
Why are food doesn't contain it, unfortunately, as much as it used to do,
00:24:22
first up, and secondly, magnesium is stripped from our bodies because of stress.
00:24:27
So, stress is moving magnesium through quicker.
00:24:30
So, we're getting less in the front end and more out the back end, so to speak.
00:24:33
It's needed for so many functions in our body, about 360 different functions.
00:24:39
And that includes stress and sleep, but all sorts of other physical functions as well.
00:24:43
So, magnesium is great to be taking.
00:24:47
We have it in the body butter, we have it in a bath milk.
00:24:51
And as I say, you know, by the way, you don't, you can't OD on it.
00:24:54
So, you can take it in a pill format, you can take it in the bath and in the body lotion.
00:24:58
I just slather it on.
00:25:01
So, I make sure that I go in that bath.
00:25:03
I like our perfect night's sleep fragrance because that is,
00:25:07
it's got some amazing, it's a lavender-based fragrance.
00:25:11
We also do a chamomile-based sleep fragrance if we don't like lavender.
00:25:14
But I particularly like that one because that was developed to really help people sleep.
00:25:17
So, I like to like a candle for about an hour before it really,
00:25:22
I'm breathing it in and the essential oils are working.
00:25:25
So, that's kind of sort of what I would do.
00:25:27
Then I make sure that I'm always in bed at 10 and read a paper book.
00:25:32
I mean, you know, people, we're told often about not going on blue light before you go to bed.
00:25:38
But the reason people quite often don't realise what that is,
00:25:42
and that's because your whole body works on a circadian rhythm,
00:25:47
which is essentially an internal clock.
00:25:49
But every cell in your body is kind of almost a mini one of these clocks.
00:25:53
That clock needs starting in the morning and it needs sort of turning off in an evening.
00:25:57
It does that via environmental cues.
00:26:00
Those environmental cues are essentially light.
00:26:02
So, you need to get out in sunlight in the morning,
00:26:06
kickstart that clock, I should say, early in the morning.
00:26:09
But then in an evening, what you don't want to be doing is telling your body,
00:26:13
it's the morning. You tell it's the morning by giving it blue light.
00:26:17
So, because that is a really, really powerful indicator that's morning.
00:26:21
So, you want to make sure that you're looking at a paper book or something
00:26:25
that is not your phone light, essentially.
00:26:28
So, I make sure that I do that.
00:26:30
And also, for me, it's very important to click from sort of going from all the business of the day
00:26:36
to sleep time.
00:26:38
I've also started, I was never a big journalist,
00:26:42
but I've started doing a little gratitude list before I go to bed.
00:26:45
And I just write five little glimmers through the day that have really made the difference
00:26:52
in my day.
00:26:53
And I make it that they have to be quite specific.
00:26:55
They have to be different.
00:26:57
So, I can't say every day, you know, I had to do it with my daughter or it's all my boyfriend
00:27:01
or, you know, it can't be things that happen regularly.
00:27:04
It's got to be something very different.
00:27:06
Like, you know, a stranger said, "I like your lipstick."
00:27:11
Or, you know, it was particularly sunny this morning on my early morning walk and I saw some
00:27:15
focuses or something like that.
00:27:18
Because I find, if I go to bed, focusing on those little glimmers, those little moments during the day,
00:27:24
I'm far more peaceful and I have a better night's sleep.
00:27:28
I go to sleep the smaller face, I feel far more, far more grateful.
00:27:33
So, I always try and do that before I go to bed on an evening.
00:27:36
So, there's loads of other things.
00:27:38
There's a million other tips that, you know, I could give you.
00:27:41
But for me, they're the kind of things that I really love.
00:27:44
I have to have the temperature at about 19 degrees.
00:27:47
That really works for me.
00:27:49
You know, a window open if not AC on if, you know, I'm in another country.
00:27:53
Temperatures crucial.
00:27:54
I'm a bit of a princess with a nice pillow.
00:27:58
But, you know, they're the things that work for me.
00:28:01
And I've made it that a night in is as much,
00:28:04
gives me as much joy if not more than a night out.
00:28:08
I couldn't agree more.
00:28:09
That's like my ideal night routine as well.
00:28:12
And there aren't many times that I will agree to go out
00:28:15
instead of doing my night in.
00:28:17
It's just, once you like perfect your little routine for you,
00:28:21
there's not much better than it.
00:28:23
Exactly.
00:28:24
And I did it on the book tour the other day.
00:28:26
The lady sets me up at my friends.
00:28:28
My friends were all asking me to, you know, to go out for dinner or not.
00:28:33
And you're saying, "Don't eat." And I said, "You need, you need girls' lunches out."
00:28:38
And she was like, "Oh, yes."
00:28:40
I mean, it was sort of tongue-in-cheek.
00:28:41
But I do much prefer a lunch, much prefer a lunch.
00:28:45
Me too.
00:28:47
So it's those little things.
00:28:48
Again, it's what works for you, isn't it?
00:28:49
But just knowing those things.
00:28:51
Exactly.
00:28:53
There was so much on your routine that I want to touch on.
00:28:56
I don't even know where to start.
00:28:58
I love that you brought up gratitude.
00:28:59
That's something that I talk about so much on the wellness cafe.
00:29:03
Because it is so simple, yet makes such a big difference.
00:29:07
And a lot of people hear that.
00:29:09
And they just, they think it's too good to be true.
00:29:11
So they never really give it a try.
00:29:13
Me saying it to them a lot on my own kind of can make me sound a little crazy sometimes
00:29:18
when I say it has so much power.
00:29:19
The brain is intrinsically hard-wired for us to be negative.
00:29:25
And the reason why is because that negativity is essentially
00:29:29
as looking out for danger. So if we see something scary or what we would perceive in nowadays as negative,
00:29:40
that is an inbuilt defense mechanism that we focus on that.
00:29:44
So we keep ourselves safe.
00:29:46
So understanding that our brains will cling to those facts more.
00:29:51
And why they cling to those facts, I think was quite a game changer for me.
00:29:56
Because then you can say, I get it.
00:29:59
And so therefore, how will I change that?
00:30:02
Would you change that by making sure that you sort of work on new neuro pathways through your brain?
00:30:08
So the neuro pathways is the patterns that your brain is going to make.
00:30:13
And you have to a bit like building up muscle in your biceps or your quads or whatever.
00:30:19
You have to practice.
00:30:21
You have to make sure that you're walking along those neuro pathways regularly to change your habit
00:30:28
from being what is very normally, quite intrinsically, negative to something for more positive.
00:30:35
So what I'm saying is you have to do this as an exercise to move yourself
00:30:39
from where you're going to be if you don't, to where you want to be.
00:30:43
So being grateful doesn't just make you think, oh yes, actually that was lovely in the moment.
00:30:49
It actually changes your brain and the amazing data that has been done only in the last again five years
00:30:57
on how it's called positive psychology.
00:30:59
Someone I really rate is a British psychologist called Vanessa King.
00:31:03
She's one of our very best psychologists, positive psychologists.
00:31:08
And she has launched something called Action Happiness.
00:31:11
Again, this is all UK, but you guys can see this on Instagram.
00:31:15
And there's some amazing data which you should get your head round,
00:31:22
which I think again, coming back to that topic of control,
00:31:24
when you realise why we're hardwired and how we can kind of rewire that circuit.
00:31:31
And the simple things that we can do to do it and the results of doing that from, you know,
00:31:38
brain studies is fascinating.
00:31:40
And when they map this on brains, they can see the difference.
00:31:44
The actual difference that they can see between someone moving from being a more negative thinking person
00:31:50
to a more positive thinking person.
00:31:52
So gratitude is, I love doing the things that make me feel better,
00:31:58
but I also really do like this to be grounded in data.
00:32:01
I think, you know, that's why I felt very passionate about writing the book was
00:32:04
to give you all the data that I've found that's, you know, not from me.
00:32:08
I'm just the conduit of all the brilliant people that I've been able to
00:32:12
meet having grown this huge platform and sift through that from all the BS stuff,
00:32:17
which is, you know, a bit woo woo or a bit left field or not really founded.
00:32:22
The actual stuff, and positive psychology, and to your question,
00:32:26
the gratitude point of that is huge.
00:32:29
I could listen to you talk about positive psychology all day long.
00:32:33
I've seen it make a big impact in my life as well, and I'm just,
00:32:37
I just love learning about it. I'm so obsessed.
00:32:40
I would love for you to step into this stuff about sleep because I keep hearing you
00:32:44
mention the sleep in your circadian rhythm and really making sure that you're
00:32:48
hitting all those bright routines to make sure that your sleep is correct.
00:32:51
So what would be, I guess your starting point for someone who
00:32:56
is looking and listening to this thinking, okay, my sleep is totally messed up.
00:33:00
I need to get on this. I need to figure out my sleep.
00:33:03
Where would you suggest people start for that?
00:33:05
So we did a brilliant piece of work in Neon with a sleep expert called Nick Witten.
00:33:12
A couple of years ago, and we created this piece of work called the 11 Gold Rules to Sleep.
00:33:19
It's actually in the book that you can google it at neonwelbeing.com for free and in it's there.
00:33:23
I'll run you through some of the key ones, but take us all day to do all 11.
00:33:27
What was really interesting was that Nick had worked with Oxford University in the UK
00:33:33
to bring to light a lot of the data where sleep's concerned.
00:33:37
Of course, when the scientists do a lot of this research, it sort of gets hidden in a vault
00:33:42
because it's a very different skill set, understanding the brain and sleep, and then marketing it
00:33:47
essentially, getting that communication out to people like you and I are doing.
00:33:50
So a lot of that information was sort of held in the vault.
00:33:53
So we went with him and said, "Can we get everything that exists all the very best data?"
00:34:00
And then let's sift through that so we can present it back to our customers because they're coming
00:34:04
towards for help with sleep, but I feel as I keep saying to you, it's about a toolkit.
00:34:08
Can I help you on my god, yes?
00:34:10
But actually, I need to also signpost you in all these different directions,
00:34:13
because wellbeing is not one silver bullet.
00:34:16
Like, that is key.
00:34:18
It's a collection of things.
00:34:19
It's a toolkit.
00:34:20
It's neon, but it's also understanding all these other bits and pieces as well.
00:34:24
So we did this piece of work with him.
00:34:27
I've touched quite a bit on the light.
00:34:30
Light for me was hugely important.
00:34:34
So just giving you an idea of light is measured in lux.
00:34:37
The lux of something like a candle would be about 30 lux.
00:34:44
The lux of something like an hour in an office would be about 30,000.
00:34:52
The lux of outside in, even an over clouded English day would be about 30,000.
00:35:02
In a sunny morning, it would be more like a hundred thousand.
00:35:08
So that gives you an idea of how much more powerful the light is
00:35:12
if you actually get outside in it for about 10, 15 minutes during a day.
00:35:17
That hits the back of your retina.
00:35:19
That then tells your body it's morning wake up.
00:35:22
It then makes sure that your cortisol rises in the right way,
00:35:26
not stressed out, but your cortisol rises, your melatonin is reduced and you are ready for the day.
00:35:33
So understanding why that happens, how that happens,
00:35:37
to get outside in the morning because a good night's sleep always starts in the morning.
00:35:41
For me, it was huge.
00:35:43
And whoever you are, whatever your social demographic is,
00:35:46
how much money, it's irrelevant.
00:35:49
You have material control over that.
00:35:51
So understanding that was pivotal for sure.
00:35:53
There's some more obvious ones that I think a lot of people know.
00:35:57
Clearly, caffeine has a half life.
00:35:59
So you've just got to be really, really careful when I can't drink caffeine after 12.
00:36:03
I just know that I have to get out and do some exercise during the day.
00:36:09
An hour of exercise is pretty important.
00:36:12
Making sure that you're out in that sunlight, not just for the 15 minutes during the day,
00:36:16
but for an hour during the day.
00:36:18
Outside again, it doesn't really matter if it's a sunny day or less sunny day.
00:36:23
It's going to be way more way better for you than staying inside.
00:36:27
Learning to relax during the day is a really important one.
00:36:32
So I spoke a lot about this, actually, with a brilliant psychologist that I really
00:36:37
rate from a UK called Susie Redding.
00:36:39
And she's done some research on how, when you go to bed,
00:36:43
it's very hard to tell yourself, right, relax now.
00:36:46
If you've had a very stressy day, if you can carve out micro-moments
00:36:51
of relaxation during the day, again, think a bit a little bit like a muscle.
00:36:55
When it's a bit like this, if you are going to go in a fight,
00:36:59
you need to have kind of done some training rather than just going into the fight.
00:37:05
And liken that a bit to little micro-moments of relaxation and then going to sleep on a night.
00:37:11
If you're learning just in five minutes during a day, just to have your
00:37:15
cup of tea or walk outside or turn your phone off.
00:37:19
If you're doing that a few times during the day, then you are in orderly in a better place to be able
00:37:25
to switch yourself off when it comes to sleep time.
00:37:28
So don't just think those little moments of relaxation that you're carving out during a day
00:37:32
are about relaxation or about, you know, lowering your stress at levels and your cortisol.
00:37:37
It's actually also very important to help you be able to then
00:37:42
switch yourself off when it comes to sleep time. So that was a big one.
00:37:45
The food we've spoken about, the blue light and the understanding the blue light,
00:37:51
that was also really important. So yeah, I think they were the ones that really, really
00:37:57
changed things for me. A magnesium. Magnesium, magnesium, magnesium, magnesium.
00:38:03
Yes, I love that you said you can't overdose on it because if you could, I probably would.
00:38:08
I love to do like the bath soak, the candle, the spray, magnesium is just one of my favorite
00:38:14
things, especially for my neighbor team. Totally. And what are some of your favorite things in your
00:38:19
toolkit right now? So one of the ways that Neon works is that you are attracted to the fragrance
00:38:25
that you need at any one time. So it's really funny because even when I product develop,
00:38:29
quite often there'll be products in my own range that I don't like. And that's because I don't
00:38:34
need that at that time. So we do a scent discovery test in a lot of our stores where you can go and
00:38:40
you can smell and you can find out what you need. So it's kind of important for me to say that first
00:38:44
up. But something's I'm using at the moment. So actually I'm going on holiday on Sunday and I'm
00:38:49
not a great flyer. And we have this calming pen, which has got our real luxury fragrance,
00:38:55
by the way, you can get this in other things if you don't want it in a calming pen. We do it in
00:38:59
candles and magnesium bath products, etc. But it's got 24 essential oils and it's got some jasmine,
00:39:06
it's got some lavender, it's got some rosewood, it's gorgeous, it's like a really creamy kind of
00:39:12
cashmere blanket. And it was the fragrance that I created for my own anxiety. So we're always
00:39:18
used that when I'm feeling stressed out. And the calming pen is something that is kind of it's like
00:39:22
the most intense version of that. With also Valerian root extracts, Valerian root extracts
00:39:28
is brilliant for de-stressing. So I like to take that with me if I'm flying somewhere.
00:39:35
I love the tense of skin treatment candle, which actually has gone down a storm in America.
00:39:43
You guys, it's really interesting. You guys spend more time on your own wellness than we do in the UK.
00:39:47
Maybe that's not surprising, but you can pour that on yourself. And so many people use it as a
00:39:53
massage. I'm very selfish and you only use it on myself, but I do use it if I've got really dry skin
00:39:59
because I find it's like the most nourishing thing. I love obviously we've spoken so much about
00:40:06
magnesium, but I also like our new wellness soak. I'm a bit funny with oils in general, but I think
00:40:12
people oils get a bad rap because when you use a silicon oil, the reason it's so sticky is because
00:40:18
it sticks on the skin because essentially it's plastic. So obviously it's not going to soak in and
00:40:22
nor do you want it to soak in because it's got mineral oil and it's going to be horrible and tacky
00:40:27
and sit on the edge of your skin. If you're using a natural body oil like the neon one or a bath oil,
00:40:35
not only is it packed full of, it's got like eight vitamin minerals in our back in our wellness
00:40:40
soak. So not only is it packed full of the vitamins, but it's going to soak in because it's a natural oil.
00:40:47
When you get a good oil, it makes a huge difference to your skin. So I love that and I actually use that
00:40:55
as an after sun as well and I use it when I was pregnant with the children. I never got any lines
00:41:00
or anything like that was amazing. So that's a bit of a kind of multitasking product. We have our
00:41:07
little mini pods. I like to take those with me if I'm on the go if I go somewhere. I like it with
00:41:13
if I'm working and we have a fragrance called Focus the Mind which I actually my son's gave
00:41:18
to his exams at the moment. I put that on. It's pretty hardcore but it's like it's really it really
00:41:26
helps you focus. It's like a really green eucalyptus pine fragrance but got it get your head in space.
00:41:33
We have a super shower power, shower gel which is like marmite. People love it or hate it. It's the
00:41:42
zingiest, most freshest thing you're ever going to smell. But if you're kind of a fan of the cold
00:41:50
shower experience or maybe if you like the idea of the cold shower experience in the morning but
00:41:54
don't have the guts to do it then that is really really good. But you know there are some people
00:41:59
that like oh no it's far too zinging. So I do like I do like that but I don't like that I'm a cold
00:42:06
morning because it's like I'm a bit wet like that but I love that when it's you know cold when it's
00:42:12
warm outside or it's sticky or you know you want that kind of real wake me up. So all of them they've
00:42:18
all been designed for those kind of pain points in people's lives where you know they they need that
00:42:24
that real kick. Everything smells lovely but we're not fragrance brand at all. We're very much
00:42:30
about those kind of moments that you know you need a bit help with. Yeah that's what I love about
00:42:35
the products as well because I am such an I put such an effort to some making sure that I have only
00:42:41
clean products in my space but I love to light a candle and that's why I'm so obsessed with your
00:42:46
candles because I finally found one that I feel like alright with knowing that I'm burning in my
00:42:52
environment without like releasing toxins into the environment at the same time. Totally. I mean
00:42:57
you know those three wick candles you know the little sort of brown bottles of essential oil
00:43:01
they have about four bottles of those in each candle and that's just crazy if you think about that
00:43:08
but that's because obviously we won't put scent booster or binder in a candle and that's standard
00:43:13
you've got to be so careful with marketing it's even worse than America like you know here you can
00:43:19
say one you can say natural when it's 1% natural so we only use natural axes and we only use essential
00:43:26
oils we use no synthetic fragrances we use no boost as binders all of that stuff that is that is
00:43:31
pretty standard in candle making and yeah it's really hard I mean I comb the globe to find if there's
00:43:37
another one that says good as those I mean just interested and they never are they're very expensive
00:43:42
to make and they're very difficult to make and I constantly have to test on harvests of essential oils
00:43:48
because a bit like if you went to the store and orange is tasted one way one day and then you went
00:43:55
back two weeks later or a month later and they taste differently it's the same with natural essential oils
00:44:01
because I can't press a button on like 10,000 of them and they keep coming out the same I'm checking
00:44:06
harvests and sometimes they're sweeter sometimes they're less so and that affects the overall blend
00:44:12
so it's a they're they're a pain to work with you know natural's are a pain and that's why I think
00:44:17
a lot of big brands understandably don't want to do it but but we do we took the challenge job
00:44:25
yeah yeah that's actually interesting to know because I honestly couldn't really find one until
00:44:30
I found yours and that's why like I said I was just kind of burning them anyway because I liked it but
00:44:35
I knew in the back of my mind that I probably should be looking a little harder to find one that was
00:44:39
good for the environment and myself as well I know that we're a bit crunched for time here but before
00:44:46
you leave I just wanted to ask as well because TWC is obsessed with our night routines and magnesium
00:44:53
and I know that they are just going to be so interested in all of this if you had one product that
00:44:59
you would like to recommend for night routines that you think is the perfect like starting point
00:45:03
out of everything what would you say it is I think it would have to be the um
00:45:09
pillow mist because um it we sell as I said one per minute and it's a really handy thing for you
00:45:19
to take with you wherever you are it's that final step after hopefully you've had the bath and
00:45:25
hopefully you've written a gratitude list um it really works the testimonials that we get for that
00:45:31
are amazing and again it's all natural so you you know you're not breathing anything
00:45:36
funny on the pillow um and I've used it on the my own children since there were babies on their
00:45:41
carts um we have we sell more impacts of four than we're doing one because you know typically the
00:45:48
mom is buying for you know children and husbands and you know everyone uses it um so I think it
00:45:56
probably would be that yeah I I agree too it's one of my favorites I only started getting into
00:46:02
like pillow sprays about a year ago it's funny my boyfriend always says that I'll do it once
00:46:08
he's already in bed so sometimes he feels like he's being like showered in it and I'm like oh sorry
00:46:12
I've just started doing it before he's in bed too well he should be so okay you helping him I know
00:46:18
I know I'm like just close your eyes or also feel like a little shower but he loves it
00:46:23
well thank you so much for coming on the Wanness Cafe today it was so great to hear about your
00:46:30
story and the brand and I know that the Wanness Cafe is also going to just have a ball with this
00:46:37
episode really thank you so much I really appreciate you asking me on course thank you so much for being
00:46:42
here all right I hope you enjoyed today's episode if you want to try any of the products mentioned
00:46:48
her brand is Neum well being I would highly recommend and if you want to get the Wanness Cafe
00:46:54
team hoodie you can head to at thewannesscafe.shop if you enjoyed today's episode it would mean the
00:47:00
world to me if you left a rating and review and I will see you next week to debrief on the panel
00:47:07
[mwah]