DiscoverThe Anxious To Secure PODCAST88: What happens when the AVOIDANT realizes they’ve LOST you? Understanding Dismissive Avoidants
88: What happens when the AVOIDANT realizes they’ve LOST you? Understanding Dismissive Avoidants

88: What happens when the AVOIDANT realizes they’ve LOST you? Understanding Dismissive Avoidants

Update: 2025-10-07
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How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)


"What happens when a dismissive avoidant realizes they lost me?” 🖤✨ A question I get asked as relationship coach a bunch of times.


If you’ve ever found yourself replaying the breakup in your head, wondering: “Is he thinking about me? Does he even care? Will he ever come back?” this episode is for you.


I’ll walk you through the hidden emotional timeline of the avoidant partner after a breakup..the relief phase, the delayed grief, and the subtle breadcrumbs they drop instead of saying “I miss you.”


We’ll explore why they seem fine right away, why their emotions hit them months later, and the indirect ways they try to reconnect when vulnerability feels too dangerous.


Think of it like opening a locked safe..their feelings are inside, but the timing of when they surface might surprise you.


You’ll learn:

★ Why avoidants really pull away when things feel “too close”

★ The difference between breakup relief and delayed grief

★ How to spot those tiny breadcrumbs that mean more than they let on

★ Why their suffering shows up AFTER you’ve already cried your tears

★ Four powerful steps YOU can take to reclaim your energy and move forward with confidence


This isn’t about waiting for them to change—it’s about understanding the avoidant attachment style better, so you can stop second-guessing yourself and finally put the focus back on YOU.


If you’re anxiously attached and stuck in the “what ifs,” this episode will give you clarity, relief, and a path to heal while they’re still wrestling with their locked-away emotions.


Press play, and let’s unpack what really happens when the avoidant realizes they lost you. 📓🖤✨


 


CHAPTER:


00:00 Understanding Avoidant Attachment After a Breakup

01:10 What is an Avoidant Attachment Style?

02:13 How This Leads to a Breakup

03:59 Why They Pull Away

06:35 The Breakup RELIEF and Delayed Grief

09:43 Indirect Ways They Show They Care

11:15 Why Anxious hurt DURING relationships, Avoidant’s AFTER

13:14 Empowering yourself after a Breakup 4 Steps

16:28 Step 01

17:25 Step 02

18:12 Step 03

18:49 Step 04

19:32 Remember THIS


 


Attachment Style QUIZ :


Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 


https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz


 


✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST 


https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist


 


Want more support?


➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤


(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)


https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk


 


➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤


(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)


https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription


 


DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.


This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.


 


Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

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88: What happens when the AVOIDANT realizes they’ve LOST you? Understanding Dismissive Avoidants

88: What happens when the AVOIDANT realizes they’ve LOST you? Understanding Dismissive Avoidants

Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach