Sex coach and sexual surrogate Andre and LMFT therapist Jane share tips on making bad sex good, and good sex even better...discussing the best ways to communicate during sex, what makes a great lover, and how to give and receive the best oral sex you've ever had...

In this conversation, Andre Lazarus and Jane discuss various aspects of relationships and sexual pleasure. They explore topics such as navigating different sexual preferences, embracing imperfection in relationships, dealing with jealousy, overcoming negative self-stories, and dispelling shame and blind spots. They also emphasize the importance of trying something different, embracing play in relationships, and letting go of pressure. The conversation highlights the need for open communication, exploring and learning from sexual experiences, and taking responsibility for one's own turn-on. They also discuss how to give great cunnilingus, the impact of porn on sexual experiences, and the importance of finding variety and sensuality in sexual content. The conversation concludes with a focus on the power of speaking up and embracing authenticity in relationships.

Takeaways

·      Discovering one's sexuality can be a challenging and clunky journey, but its worth it!

·      Authenticity and direct communication are important in relationships to avoid misunderstandings and unmet needs.

·      Physical appearance does not guarantee success in relationships, and confidence and self-worth play a significant role.

·      Jealousy can be a complex emotion, and exploring its underlying desires and fears can lead to personal growth.

·      Open and honest communication is crucial in non-monogamous relationships to navigate jealousy and maintain trust. Embrace imperfection in relationships and understand that what works for one person may not work for another.

·      Communicate openly and honestly about your desires, boundaries, and insecurities to create a safe and fulfilling sexual experience.

·      Explore and experiment with different sexual experiences, techniques, and sensations to discover what brings you pleasure.

·      Prioritize playfulness and fun in your sexual experiences, letting go of the pressure to perform or meet unrealistic expectations.

·      Take responsibility for your own turn-on and pleasure, understanding that it is your responsibility to communicate and explore what brings you pleasure.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Story

03:40 Challenges in Discovering Sexuality

08:46 The Playful Side of Adults

12:46 Direct Communication and Authenticity

16:22 The Influence of Physical Appearance

21:28 The Void and the Desire for Validation

26:08 The Role of Projections in Relationships

29:05 Jealousy and the Existential Kink

35:18 Communication in Non-Monogamous Relationships

38:47 Navigating Different Sexual Preferences

39:17 Embracing Imperfection in Relationships

40:13 Dealing with Jealousy

41:03 Overcoming Negative Self-Stories

42:36 Dispelling Shame and Blind Spots

43:09 Trying Something Different

43:42 The Importance of Play in Relationships

44:40 Embracing Fun and Letting Go of Pressure

45:37 Exploring and Learning from Sexual Experiences

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