A conversation with Ina Chung on finding power in accurate labels, and how modeling advocacy with her autistic and allergic kids helps them feel truly seen.

“Parents would tell me, ‘If I had known when my child was three instead of seven, we could have gotten so many more supports in place.’ That breaks my heart.”

-Ina Chung

Why do we fear labels and diagnoses?

That question has been on my mind since long before The Cut published journalist E.J. Dickson’s article about Dr. Becky Kennedy, the psychologist and parenting influencer who coined the term Deeply Feeling Kid (DFK).

The DFK framework has helped countless parents feel more compassionate. But compassion alone doesn’t replace professional guidance. When well-meaning influencers dismiss “labels,” it can unintentionally reinforce the ableism many of us are still trying to unlearn.

DFK describes children who experience emotions intensely and struggle to regulate them. The concept resonates with parents who value empathy and emotional awareness. But sometimes that framework isn’t enough.

The piece explored whether the DFK label, while well-intentioned, might sometimes delay necessary diagnoses and supports for neurodivergent children. In the days following its release, my friend Ina Chung found herself at the center of that conversation.

The DFK framework has helped countless parents feel more compassionate. But compassion alone doesn’t replace professional guidance. When well-meaning influencers dismiss “labels,” it can unintentionally reinforce the ableism many of us are still trying to unlearn.

“If children are struggling, honesty and curiosity matter more than comfort.”

-Kate Lynch

Topics We Covered In The Live Conversation:

• What “Deeply Feeling Kid” (DFK) means — and when it misses the mark

• How Dr. Becky’s messaging resonates and falls short for neurodivergent families

• Why accurate diagnoses are not limiting but liberating

• The fear and stigma surrounding autism and other labels

• How modeling advocacy empowers kids with autism and allergies to speak up

• The parallels between neurodiversity and food allergies

• Finding belonging in online parenting spaces like Good Inside

• How parents can hold both truths — compassion and critique

I’ve written before about this tension: the good that comes from Dr. Becky’s work, and the harm that can arise from her “I’m not a fan of labels” stance. Like Ina, I’ve seen parents in the Good Inside community working so hard, yet blaming themselves for things that can’t be parented away.

A label isn’t a limitation. It’s language. It can open doors to therapy, accommodations, self-understanding, and community.

“There are a lot of us out here who feel like this world wasn’t built for our kids, But when we share stories, we feel less alone. That’s everything.”

-Ina Chung,  The Asian Allergy Mom on Instagram


https://katelynch.substack.com/p/ina-chung-good-inside-interview