On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Dan Drake, Matthew Raabsmith, and Joanna Raabsmith present "Building True Intimacy: A Roadmap to Relational Restoration After Sexual Betrayal." Together they consider how couples can effectively and efficiently move from betrayal and discovery to healing and connection, based on their book Building True Intimacy. They then answer participant questions about recovery, disclosure, and lasting healing.

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[:30] Introducing Dan Drake, Matthew Raabsmith and Joanna Raabsmith.

[3:23 ] How do couples heal after betrayal and disclosure?

[5:30 ] Five key components to restoring intimacy, starting with awareness, authenticity and assertiveness.

[9:16 ] The power of a foundation of honesty and safety.

[17:32 ] Regulation and relational safety must be prioritized by the betrayer.

[20:30 ] Stepping into trust and commitment following betrayed.

[27:13 ] The value of inviting trusted people into your healing journey.

[31:10 ] The hallmarks of empathy and vulnerability.

[35:10 ] Creating community with other betrayed couples.

[36:28 ] Reintroducing intimacy after betrayal.

[44:55 ] When does a couple start to feel like they are on the same team?

[49:24 ] The V.A.S.E. framework.

[51:30 ] How can the betrayed partner move toward trust after regression?

[56:08 ] My partner wants to move along without rebuilding. How can we heal?

[58:48 ] Can we successfully recover without disclosure or restoration?

 

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

 

QUOTES

● “Am I aware of the direction I’m heading based on the choices I’m making every day in my life?”

● “When I say my values are one thing and I live my life in a different way, I am not showing up authentically.”

● “If we don’t have a foundation of honesty, we don’t have anything to build on.”

● “The ability to be present will move us back into the partnership phase of the next level of healing.”

● “You have to have vulnerability if you’re going to rebuild intimacy in a relationship.”

● “What kind of recovery do you want in your life whether or not your marriage makes it?”