Unsettled and alone in hotel room somewhere in Derbyshire, mid-improv retreat, I explore the messy, human art of self-soothing- learning to find safety, connection, and calm within ourselves.

This episode weaves together attachment theory, perfectionism, embodiment, and nervous system theory as I reflect on how people like us (anxiously attached) show up in relationship with ourselves and others, as well as in even the tiniest gestures - like reaching for your phone or social media.

I share a micro-practice I’ve been experimenting with: catching the moment of “reach” and meeting it with breath, touch, and self-attunement instead of self-abandonment. We explore why self-soothing isn’t about yet more hyper-independence, but about rebuilding trust with ourselves - without cutting off from connection with others, nature, or what’s truly sacred and meaningful.

Along the way, I speak about boundaries, heartbreak, relentless doing as a recovering Perfectionist, and the lifelong dance between self and other - between the child who still reaches for safety and the adult who can now hold that reach with love.

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