Tired Moms Podcast: Postpartum Depression

Irma Jackson: I asked and I prayed that God gave me some clarification why I might be going through this and I just wanted to get better. And it’s always been my prayer to get better. But, you know, the mental illness, it’s a chronic disease. So some days you have good days, some days you have bad days. There’s always going to be a trigger within your life that can bring it back again.

If I didn’t have the Church or if I didn’t have God, I would have been lost a long time ago. I wouldn’t have been able to control this on my own. 

Mariel Gutierrez: Hello, welcome to the Faith and Family podcast hosted by the tired but inspired moms. We are four Christian moms from the Church Of Christ, Iglesia Ni Cristo. I’m Mariel Gutierrez and joining me on this podcast are my very good friends. 

Bernie: I’m Bernie Rosquites.

Emirick Haro: I am Emirick Haro.

Jewell:  And I’m Jewell Buenavista. 

Mariel Gutierrez: Today we’re going to talk about postpartum depression. It’s a thing. Many of us go through it, some milder than others, but it’s real. And it happens. 

Bernie: How are we going to hold hands together virtually, like this social distance holding hands as we talk about this? 

Everyone: Yeah. 

Bernie: On this podcast, you will learn about the ways to cope with it, how to support someone who’s going through it, then we’ll also hear from a mom of two who fought her way through it with professional help, prayer and her faith.

Jewell: You know, sometimes this is called baby blues, and it’s normal. About one in five women experience this. I was always happy, I was always a positive person growing up. And with my first child, I remember having these crazy, crazy thoughts that it would make me cry. And then I finally read, you know, I would keep it to myself, because they were such horrible thoughts. I didn’t even share it with my husband,  Harmony. 

Jewell: But one day I was reading that book, um, “What to Expect in Your First Year” and it said in there, if you have thoughts, something along these lines, if you have thoughts of maybe throwing your baby out the window or something, it is completely normal. When I read that I was just like, Oh my gosh! I started crying because I was having these crazy thoughts like, … why would I have these kinds of thoughts? You know, and, um, I shared it with Harmony. I was crying to him. And I didn’t realize that maybe I did have postpartum depression and not realize it. But it definitely was. I was definitely not myself.

Emirick: I wasn’t sure if I had that either. Okay, I didn’t really realize if I was depressed, but I’m looking here at the symptoms now and maybe, let me see if I could check off these symptoms. It’s been a while but you know, it is a vivid memory of when I was a first mother. So, experiencing low mood, or being restless. 

Everyone: Okay. Yes, yes.  (laughs)

Emirick: Being sad or overwhelmed. Feeling guilty or worthless. Check maybe, yep. Easy fatigue, easily fatigued, or being irritable. Check.

Jewell: Irritable!

Emirick: Ok, crying easily and too often. Withdrawing to staying away from family and friends. Wow. Okay. Feeling hopeless. Feeling like you’re not sure how this is going to get better. Yeah, Um okay. Eating too much. Or refusing to eat. (laughs)

Mariel: Sorry, go on.

Emirick: One or the other. Yeah. So yeah, I think of both Yes. Sleeping too much, or having trouble sleeping. So taking a look at that list, I could probably check off more than half of those things. So maybe I was experiencing postpartum depression and just slugging it off as like, Oh, it’s okay. You know, I’m gonna be ok.

Mariel: Yeah, I think some of that sometimes, like, especially after birth, a lot of these things on this list, you shrug off as like, well, I just had a baby. Of course I’m tired. Of course I feel weird because I just had a baby. So I remember for myself, I didn’t think beyond that. I just thought like, yeah, I’m sad because maybe because I don’t feel like myself. Or you know, or I feel tired or just Yeah, I just I kind of just tacked it on to just having had a baby. That was it.

Bernie: I think. Yeah, I’m reading some of this and it sounds like a Monday.

Everyone: Like now, right? Yeah.

Mariel: Well, you know what, thankfully for us today, and I wish I had this when I just had a baby, but for us today, we got advice from a clinical psychologist, a fellow mom, friend, Dr. Sydney Fontanares. And she shares some of the ways that we can manage postpartum depression. I seriously wish I had this list, you know, when I was giving birth and stuff. Y’all ready? 

Everyone: Yes

Mariel: So number one on her list is to develop support. It’s not uncommon, you know? Postpartum depression is not uncommon. So it helps to hear from other women that have gone through it or other moms, maybe they’re not talking about it. But if you open up, they’ll be like, Yeah, me too. You know, other moms can be your greatest source of strength. And I feel like I have that with you guys, you know?

Bernie: Yes!

Jewell: I definitely had my go-to people that really helped me. 

Emirick: And I think that maybe that helped me not realize that I was experiencing postpartum depression.

Bernie: Yeah, that’s a way to look at it, yeah.

Emirick: Because I did have support. 

Mariel: And you know, what’s interesting about that is that maybe like, when you’re together in that support group, you don’t have to label it, right? Everyone just understands, like, yeah, we know what this is. And so we know how to help you. And they just kind of band together with that goal. But that’s awesome that you guys had support. Alright, so number two, number two on her list, right? She says, to make simple lifestyle adjustments. You know, taking care of your baby includes taking care of yourself. Yes, yep. Dr. Sydney Fontanares was saying, you know, don’t pressure yourself to just do everything all at once. Do what you can and then leave the rest for another time. Which, again, you know, I know what you–

Jewell: Easier said than done.

Mariel: Exactly. Because there’s always a list, right? Yes, there’s a list. And then like, it’s not like, you can just take off anything from that list and be like, oh, we’ll feed them tomorrow or, or we’ll wash the onesies another time. You know, but you know, like the poop explosions, you’re going through, like 50 a day. So, yeah, it’s hard. But I think that it is worth exploring. Right? Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. And so her third, you know, advice for us was to seek professional help and discuss like the symptoms, no harm in that right. And then just know that the symptoms don’t last forever. They’re temporary, and they’re treatable. And you keep asking for help until you can find the care you need.

Bernie: Yea, that’s one hundred right there.

Emirick: That’s important, right? You have to-

Mariel: I wish– I wish I had, you know, someone tell me that when I was younger, but I do love the way that she says like, the symptoms don’t last forever, and that they’re treatable. But I think the question is what happens when the symptoms last longer than expected, right? So right now, we’re going to hear about the inspiring struggle of Irma Jackson. She’s a mama too, a nurse, who on top of the stress of being a medical professional, she’s dealt with the loss of her dad. And this is all while trying to manage her postpartum depression. Wow. So it  sounds like a lot. But let’s, let’s have a listen and see how she got through it.

Bernie: Please stick around till the end of the podcast because Brother Jeff Deguia will tell us what the Bible has to say about grief and depression. 

Irma Jackson: My name is Irma Jackson, and I am a nurse case manager. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety, probably about 2014. But I had the symptoms in 2013, I expected there to be baby blues, which is a normal thing for people after they have a child because our hormones readjust. When I had the symptoms, because I didn’t get any validation from my family that I disclosed it to, not feeling right, I tried just living with it from this uneasy feeling. And then slowly, my behavior started to change. And that’s where I reached out for help from a professional.

Irma Jackson: It was probably day after day, I would find out, I would feel ove