I deactivated my Facebook this summer.

Saying goodbye to the good features and the bad, I chose to disconnect to reconnect. 

No more birthday reminders for that girl who sat behind me in Algebra class junior year. 

No more pretending like I didn’t know everything that was going on in the life of the old friend at the grocery store. 

No more random Buzzfeed quizzes or finding out which character from Friends I am (spoiler alert: Monica). 

No more scrolling the comments in news article and feeling my blood pressure rise, trying not to reply to ignorant comments. 

No more subconscious validation from the number of likes my photos got. 

No more insecurity when nobody liked my blog posts. 

I’m in a season of life with four kids 10 and under, it’s busy. There’s just no way around the fact that no matter what organization method, schedule, or ability to say NO to things I try and implement… I still feel like I’m sinking. I’m just trying to keep my head above water!

This past year brought a lot of change as I tried new things. I closed my in home daycare. I accidentally began a network marketing company. I started a blog and Podcast, learning everything from the ground up. I also started working from home part time for a company out of California. All of these endeavors took a significant amount of time to learn, but each taught me even more about myself and what I’m capable of. I started to grow personally and professionally in ways I put on the back burner in the 10 years since I became a Mom.

I started to see glimpses of myself coming back to what sometimes feels like the shell of my former life. I am more fulfilled in my role as wife and mom than I could ever express. I am so thankful for this life. I love my family something fierce, but somewhere along the line I stopped loving myself well. I stopped putting the oxygen mask on myself first before helping others, and it was starting to show. 

Every year I like to take a break from social media. I typically take 40 days a year to disconnect so I can reconnect with the people who matter most. This time away serves as a reset as I examine my social media habits and usage. When I reactivate at the end of each break, I feel more controlled in the time I spent and the importance I place on it. I spend more time playing board games with my kids and less time taking photos of my dinner plate.

This year with my new ventures I felt like I was in a place where I couldn’t step away from Facebook. I now had a blog and business that depended on social media and being ‘connected’. I pressed in more instead of taking a step back. I reached for my phone instead of my Bible each morning and in many ways tied weights to my ankles that made it harder to keep my head above water. I was distracted, frustrated, and STRIVING. 

The Defining Moment

I knew something had to change on Mother’s Day. It was a beautiful morning. My kids surprised me with a handmade birdhouse that they had all worked together to build with Dad in the barn. I don’t know what blessed my Momma heart more, the thoughtful gift or thinking about the quality time they spent together making the gift. Then came the cards. You know, the lovely questionnaires teachers give our kids to make us laugh and cringe in embarrassment. My oldest son who was in Kindergarten handed me his card just beaming! He was so proud! I smiled at the precious hand drawn picture of me and as I read through ‘All About Mom’ my heart sank as I got to the bottom two questions.

“What is my Mom good at?” his answer, “Playing games on her computer.”

“What does my Mom always say?” his answer, “Get to Bed”



CUE heart break. 

CUE embarrasment.

CUE forced smile and hugs and “Thank you Buddy I love it” as I questioned all the choices I had made over the last year.

I know we can’t put too much weight on these precious little questionnaires that come home, he is 6 years old afterall. But ALSO, he is SIX years old. He gifted me a look into his perception of Mom. His perception is his reality. I was accountable at that moment to fix it.

The reality is, I’m not playing games on my computer. I’m working. I work from home on several different ventures so that I CAN be home when they get off the bus or on snow days. But to him, I was playing games on my computer instead of with him.

The reality is, I do say “Get to bed” after bedtime routine drags on and on at the end of a long day. But I say I love you far more often. Even still… his perception, his reality.

<q class="text-big shortcode-pullquote wf-cell align-right wf-1">

Somehow I was was more connected to the outside world than ever and less connected to the people I love most. 

While I couldn’t stop using my computer all together, nor was that necessary… I could limit the activities I was using it for. I decided to scale back on my online business and deactivate my number one time sucker, Facebook. I left my Live Wise Love Well page up to share content when I felt inspired, but took my personal profile down.

The Fear of Letting Go of Social Media

I had allowed myself to believe a lie that I couldn’t step away from social media because of my blog or my business. How was I going to grow an online community or share articles if I wasn’t on Facebook? Was all that work for nothing? 

I believe in many ways that God called me to start Live Wise Love Well. I could see His favor poured out over this labor of love. I’m not saying I feel like I’m called to be an influencer or that everybody needs to hear what I have to say. Just because God called me to it, doesn’t mean I can impose my own expectations on it. I don’t know the purpose or outcome. Maybe I’m just called to develop my writing skills because it’s something I love to do.  However, If I believe that God called me to develop this gifting, then do I also believe that His blessing is tied