The First Pivot: Our Vows

“You are God’s perfect gift for me, and now I vow to never stop trying to fulfill the role as his perfect gift for you” -Erika

“I commit my life to understanding your needs and fulfilling them before my own” – Luke

Before we even heard the term, we made a commitment on our wedding day to the ultimate pivot – to turn from our singular lives and put another person before ourselves. 

Mark 10:8-9 The two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two… therefore what God has joined together let no one separate. 

Anniversary Pivot: I’m a Bowhunters Wife

It’s October 1st, opening day of Bow Season and our 9th wedding anniversary. Nine years ago I married a non-hunter and this morning I sit here drinking my coffee while my husband, now an avid hunter, sits in his tree stand. For the last couple of years, and every October 1st to come that man will be up in a tree on our anniversary… and I’m not even mad about it. 

If there’s anything I’ve learned over the last 9 years of marriage, it’s that you need to learn to PIVOT. That has been especially true in this strange year that is 2020. We have all learned as a global society the importance of the PIVOT because we didn’t have a choice. If we wanted to thrive in our circumstances even though they fell short of our expectations for the year, we had to pivot. Are we willing to take that same perspective into our marriages? 

When 6 years into our marriage, my husband who had never hunted decided to take up a new hobby and hunt opening day I could have chosen resentment. I could have said, “Hey this doesn’t match up to my expectations of what an anniversary should be” and ask him to skip opening day and just hunt the next day. What’s the big deal anyway? 

The big deal, is that opening day is a big deal for hunters! They wait all year for this. Thankfully we have cultivated a marriage that doesn’t put too much pressure or expectation on just one day. We celebrate and place value on our marriage every day of the year, some days better than others! So this new hunters wife doesn’t have to feel unappreciated or resentful on our Opening Day Anniversary, instead, I’m excited for my husband because he’s doing something he loves and coming home to someone he loves.

If we want to thrive in our marriages even when they fall short of our expectations, we must learn to pivot.

Mainstream Definition of Pivot

Pivot as a noun is a shaft or pin on which something turns. 

As a verb, Pivot means to turn, as though on a pivot. 

Pivotal as an adjective is defined as something of vital or crucial importance.

Everybody can think of pivotal moments in their lives when they had to choose to turn from the direction they were going, a goal they were chasing, a habit they were practicing, and go the opposite direction. Moments where it was vitally important that they changed course for their ultimate good. 

There also comes pivotal moments in marriage where we are faced with the choice to pivot together toward something new. This doesn’t always have to mean in conflict or negative behavior patterns. I’m talking about major life changes that require a recalibration or way of doing things. Pivotal moments that most importantly require unity with your spouse.

You might have to pivot when:

• A career change takes your family out of state or away from the life you know and love.


• You have a wayward child and you aren’t sure how to handle their life choices together.


• You have children and the focus changes from what you want to what is best for your family.


• A diagnosis comes along and turns your world upside down with Dr. appointments, anxieties, and the reality of ‘sickness and in health’


• Your marriage is faced with the devastating blow of infidelity and if choosing to stay learning how to regain the trust and love that was lost


• Infertility threatens the picture you had of creating a family together.


• Financial hardship knocks you down and you need to make difficult decisions about how to move forward whether it’s taking on more hours, changing careers, downsizing, budgeting or filing bankruptcy.


• You find yourself as a caregiver for an aging parent


• One of you has a destructive habit or addiction that needs energy, attention, and care.


• A Global Pandemic happens… oh hey 2020 for literally every human


• Your spouse takes on a new hobby that say… takes him away from you on your anniversary every year!

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