Ep. 281 - Idaho Falls Would Implode if In N Out Opened Tomorrow and Peaches Explains Why - 12/11/2025
Description
Peaches Pit Party from Thursday, November 13th, 2025 / Peaches cannonballs into the episode by overdosing on a medium Subway soda the size of a municipal water tower before spiraling into a full audit of the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival featuring approximately zero jazz and several confused rock stars
From there he unpacks Guns N Roses tagging in Ice Cube like this is some alternate-universe WrestleMania, warns listeners that tomorrow’s holiday-party broadcast is about to be held together with packing tape, and then digs through Reddit horror stories of workplaces handing out Christmas bonuses so insulting they should be considered psychological experiments, including teams gifted self-help books and a Starbucks card sent moments after layoffs
He then journeys into the Upper East Side mom group where a parent wonders if she should fly private while her child rides coach with the team, prompting Peaches to resurrect the fantasy of a KBEAR private jet whisking listeners to Aftershock like some airborne cult pilgrimage
Peaches barrels straight into New Jersey trying to regulate e-bikes while confessing he wants a custom bike built exclusively for his skyscraper legs, then careens through sports news including an Indiana football player injuring himself high-fiving fans and the Cheez It Bowl unleashing a Cheez It crusted turkey leg that belongs in a museum of regrettable cuisine
National Breakup Day arrives and Peaches spirals into existential dread about Facebook relationship statuses while contrasting women posting inspirational mirror quotes with men entering gym goblin mode
Then he hits the In N Out grand opening mania and imagines Idaho Falls residents detonating into the digital streets the moment rumors begin, all while recounting lines so long people get turned away before the restaurant even closes
After detailing the hazards of holiday relationship season and explaining his covert gift-buying sniper tactics, Peaches celebrates gifting Viktor a cursed Ross elf before saluting the office goblins Roland and Arthur who spend December lurking like budget paranormal entities
He then breaks down Pollstar’s absurd concert ticket pricing, shouts out the Sleep Token die-hard who took out a loan for one show, and reviews the unspoken radio industry deal of free tickets in exchange for permanent financial fragility
Things escalate when Peaches analyzes Disney dropping a billion dollars into AI, imagines body-checking Carl from Up at a self-checkout kiosk, and comments on humans out there adopting AI children as if society hasn’t already jumped the shark repeatedly in the last decade
Then comes the showstopper: a woman whose severed ear was temporarily transplanted onto her foot, forcing her to walk around with a fleshy accessory that probably ruined a nation’s sandal sales for months
Peaches follows that with a breakdown of Christmas song stereotypes, the bizarre erotic subtext of Santa Baby, and a conspiracy theory about Paul McCartney accidentally documenting a seasonal witchcraft meetup in Wonderful Christmastime
And finally, Peaches recounts his friend Matt turning every visit into a forced march across Earth’s most challenging terrain, culminating in the infamous Ho Chi Minh Trail in San Diego where people cried, shoes failed, and Peaches learned he could have simply taken stairs the entire time
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