In this episode, we unpack the complicated relationship between trauma and growth—and why going through something hard isn’t what makes you stronger. We talk about the difference between experiencing trauma and actually healing from it, and Shiv opens up about how the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” she was told in the wake of extreme loss did more harm than good.

We also dig into the way our upbringing shapes us, especially the belief that harshness builds resilience. (Spoiler: yelling doesn’t make kids stronger—it creates insecure attachment.) By looking at our childhood patterns with honesty and compassion, we can understand ourselves more clearly and choose a healthier path forward. It’s a tender, grounding conversation about growth without glorifying the pain that came before it.

Ready to do the work and go deeper in your own healing? Book a consultation call with us:

Dave: https://calendly.com/dlmartinell/30min

Shiv: https://calendly.com/siobhanmartinell/30min

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