In this episode of Therapists' Take, we dive into the concept of taking the one-down position in betrayal trauma couple recovery. After betrayal, the partner who caused harm often struggles with defensiveness, shame, or minimizing their actions. However, true healing requires a shift toward humility, accountability, and emotional attunement. The one-down position is not about self-degradation—it’s about owning the harm, prioritizing the injured partner’s healing, and rebuilding trust through consistent actions.

We’ll explore how this approach plays out in real-world relationships and address the common challenges that arise, including power imbalances and the betrayed partner’s need for validation. Whether you’re a therapist helping couples or someone on a personal healing journey, this episode offers essential insights into how the one-down position contributes to deep relational healing and lasting change.

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00:00 - Introduction

01:00 - Hi, Carrie!

02:15 - Episode Breakdown

03:04 - New Workbook

06:42 - What Is the One-Down Position?

16:00 - The Danger of Defensiveness

4:33 - The Power of Imbalance

32:24 - Rebalancing Power

37:55 - Conclusion

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Books & Links

"Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity after Infidelity" by Dr Shirley Glass - https://amzn.to/3XKDZcn

"Forgiving the Devil" by Terry Hargrave - https://amzn.to/4cfF1mq

Episode on Authenticity - https://www.youtube.com/live/48vTHXudO-s?si=PYl_zyrjDPz7MCdX

Video on One-Down Position - https://youtu.be/1nG3l9oecFE?si=avU1SGrLW8uVp6L0

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Our ONLINE STORE is coming soon! In the meantime, to get a copy of our workbook, The Plan for Peace of Mind: The Betrayed Partner's Guide to Healing Following the Discovery of Infidelity, email us at therapy@familysolutionsok.com.