Facing the Storm:

Emotional Ownership as a Path to Healing

In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, dive into the powerful concept of emotional ownership. They discuss why betrayal often sparks a safety-seeking response—over-monitoring, controlling, or trying to manage a partner’s behavior—and why that’s a natural trauma reaction but unsustainable long term.

Drawing on the buffalo and cow metaphor, they invite listeners to “face the storm” of emotions rather than avoid them. The conversation explores how shifting from blame (“You made me…”) to ownership (“I feel…”) empowers healing, restores boundaries, and opens the door to deeper connection. Whether in the aftermath of sexual betrayal or in everyday relationship struggles, emotional ownership offers a path to move from survival mode to resilience.

The episode closes with a reflective question for listeners: Can your partner fix your emotions? Share your thoughts with the team at questions@humanintimacy.com.

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  Book: Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Kevin Skinner – understanding trauma responses and healing.

  
  


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  Book: Treating Sexual Addiction: A Compassionate Approach to Recovery by Dr. Kevin Skinner – how emotional ownership relates to recovery.

  
  


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  Boundaries Course: Human Intimacy Boundaries Course – tools for identifying and practicing healthy boundaries (humanintimacy.com).

  
  


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  Concept: Locus of Control – learning what’s within your reach to influence.

  
  


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  Metaphor: The Buffalo and the Cow – choosing to face emotions rather than prolong suffering.

  
  


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  12-Step Principle: “Stay on your side of the street” – focusing on your growth instead of managing your partner’s.