When You Want Change & Your Partner Isn’t Ready (Episode #89)
Description
When You Want Change
&
Your Partner Isn’t Ready
Summary
What happens when one partner is ready to change—but the other isn’t? In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore how couples navigate this difficult space. Drawing from the Stages of Change model, they explain how relationships often resist change to maintain balance (homeostasis), and why transformation inevitably brings discomfort.
Through live role-play, Kevin and MaryAnn demonstrate both ineffective and healthy ways to approach hard conversations—showing how to express needs, respond to defensiveness, and create safety for vulnerability. They unpack the Drama Triangle, attachment patterns, and the power of differentiation—knowing your truth while staying connected.
Listeners will learn how to prepare for meaningful dialogue, set boundaries with compassion, and build trust through accountability and follow-through.
Resources
Free Companion Worksheet: Available in the Human Intimacy Podcast Course at HumanIntimacy.com → Courses → Free Courses → Human Intimacy Podcast Companion.
Frameworks Discussed:
Stages of Change — Prochaska & DiClemente
Drama Triangle — Stephen Karpman
Attachment “Dance” — Dr. Sue Johnson
Four Horsemen — Drs. John & Julie Gottman
Differentiation — Dr. Murray Bowen
Recommended Reading:
Hold Me Tight — Sue Johnson
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work — John Gottman
The Dance of Anger — Harriet Lerner
The State of Affairs — Esther Perel
United States
