Special Guest: Rose Clark from Love the Way You Parent

In this episode of Empowering Postpartum, host Jessi Sletten interviews parenting coach Rose Clark about the importance of healing from childhood trauma in order to become the parent you aspire to be. Rose shares tools from the Language of Listening™ parenting model focused on validating children's emotions and behavior, identifying their needs, and naming their strengths. A key theme is the parallel process of using these techniques not only with children, but also to "re-parent" ourselves. As Rose notes, we have to give compassion to ourselves first before we can fully give it to our kids.

Guest Info:

After burning out at work, Rose learned, in therapy, that she had had a highly abusive childhood. Her need to push herself SO HARD was rooted in trying to earn something that seemed out of reach her whole life - feeling her parents' love.

When Rose became a mom, it magnified her insecurities, and started triggering UNSHED TEARS and UNEXPRESSED ANGER. She felt she had 2 CHOICES… Fall into the abyss of repeating what her parents did, or learn completely new ways of relating.

Rose will forever be grateful that she stumbled upon Language of Listening®, a parenting model that not only allowed her to become the mom she always wanted to be, but also allowed her to re-parent herself.

Now, as an Authorized Language of Listening® coach, she specializes in helping moms who had difficult childhoods and gets them to a place where they LOVE the way they parent.

Connect with Rose on IG and FB

Show Notes:

1. Introduction from Jessi (0:17 )

2. Rose introduces herself and her background (1:28 )

• Had difficult childhood, wanted better for her kidsFound tools weren't sticking even though she had the right ideas


• Discovered Language of Listening™ model


• Learned to use tools on herself to reparent and heal

3. Importance of healing yourself in order to parent the way you aspire to (4:51 )

• Trauma resurfaces when we become parents


• Taking courses to help others isn't enough, have to apply to ourselves


• Concept of reparenting yourself was foreign before becoming a parent

4. Language of Listening™ Tools (6:42 ) 

Say What You See® (Connection/Validation)

• Premise: Everything children do/say is communication until they feel heard


• Tool: objectively say what you are seeing (without judgement)


• Apply to yourself - validate your own emotions

Naming Strengths (Building Self-Esteem)

• Premise: Kids (and adults) have every possible strength, behave according to self-beliefs


• Tool: Name strengths you see to change their self-talk


• Apply to yourself - heal your self-talk, grow confidence

Can Do’s (Holding Healthy Boundaries)

• Premise: All behaviors meet 3 needs: experience, connection, power


• Tool: Name the need, then provide "can do's" to meet need appropriately


• Apply to yourself - meet your needs in ways that empower both you and your child

5. Nurturing yourself first to be the parent you want to be (25:10 )

6. Instilling unshakable confidence in kids (32:30 )

7. Can use tools NOW - before becoming parent (36:48 )

8. Importance of creating support system ahead of time (40:11 )

9. Applying tools for toddler/new baby dynamic (42:55 )

10. Validation for yourself enables validation for kids (45:07 )

Action Steps:

• Make a list of your likes, dislikes, preferences to connect with your authentic self and boundaries 


• Practice self-validation and naming your own strengths and needs 


• Identify 2-3 (or more!) people who can provide support once baby arrives 


• Be gentle with yourself and celebrate small wins in re-parenting

Work with Jessi:

Empowering Postpartum Coaching guides new and pregnant moms through the transition into motherhood so that they can bond with their baby without sacrificing their own self care. If this sounds like the support you desire for your own unique journey into parenthood, send me a message on IG now and we can chat about if this program would be a good fit for you!