This powerful episode dives deep into the emotional journey of infertility and the unexpected struggles that can arise for birthing parents as they transition into parenthood after years of dreaming about it. Infertility Coach Abbe Feder of InCircle Fertility candidly shares her personal story of identity crisis after finally becoming a mother to twins via IVF following six long years of infertility treatments and pregnancy loss. Abbe and Jessi provide an honest look at the disconnect some parents feel from their newborns, the unexpected struggle of letting go of the "infertility identity", and the critical need for more postpartum support tailored to this experience. With vulnerability and honesty, they discuss the paramount importance of self-care, building a supportive village, and communicating openly with partners during this life-changing season. For any birthing person who has walked the heartbreaking road of infertility, this episode offers hard-won advice and reassuring validation.

Key Points:

Identity Shifts (1:33 ):

• Abbe Feder delves into the profound identity shift experienced by individuals transitioning from infertility to parenthood.


• Reflection on losing her identity as the "infertile friend" and reconciling past and present selves.


• Exploring newfound roles and expectations after years of infertility struggles.

Postpartum Challenges (4:22 ):

• Discussion on acknowledging and addressing postpartum struggles.


• Abbe shares her experience of feeling disconnected from her newborn twins after a traumatic birth.


• Emphasis on the need for comprehensive support for birthgivers during the postpartum period.


• Highlighting the significance of self-care, open communication, and building a supportive community.

Supportive Village (22:39 ):

• Importance of building a supportive network for individuals navigating infertility and parenthood.


• Abbe's advocacy work aimed at creating a supportive community for birthgivers.


• Emphasis on validation, empowerment, and connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences.

Coping Strategies (38:40 ):

• Practical tips for coping with infertility and supporting loved ones.


• Encouragement for proactive support and setting boundaries around expressions of sympathy.


• Reframing perspectives and setting goals for moving forward.


• Emphasis on maintaining hope and making progress.

Parenting Reframes (43:08 ):

• Abbe's powerful reframe/advice for new parents: "You run their life, they don't run yours"


• The importance of community and vulnerability in the postpartum journey.


• Encouragement to prioritize self-needs and joy amidst the demands of parenting.

Action Steps:

Work With Jessi

Empowering Postpartum Coaching guides new and pregnant moms through the transition into motherhood so that they can bond with their baby without sacrificing their own self care. If this sounds like the support you desire for your own unique journey into parenthood, connect with Jessi on IG and send her a message or email her at jessi@empoweringpostpartum.com

Connect with Abbe for further support:

IG: https://www.instagram.com/incirclefertility/

Website: https://www.incirclefertility.com/

Podcast: The Fertility Check with Abbe Feder